A/N: I haven't written something this silly before... Timeline-wise? R2... other than that, it's messed up. Don't think too much, you're here for the harem anyway, right? (I am XD)
Note: this is unbeta'd, because my usual beta doesn't want anything to do with this. Anyone up for the job?
Yes, there will be guy/guy. If you're against that kind of thing, I'll tell you this now: it's not what you think. And don't worry about seeing a lot of it - the guys wouldn't show too much affection in public (i.e. most of the story) and there are way more girls in the harem. Unless I get a lot of requests for guys, in which case.. :/
Play by Play
by N. Silvutra Mayhem
1: The Beginning
If anyone asked, it had definitely, definitely been C.C.'s idea.
It all started a week ago, after Sayoko's dreadful impersonation, one which subjected him to twenty-four hours of nothing but dates, dates and more dates. Shirley had been last, royally pissed off (for some reason - why were girls so possessive anyway?) and the only freedom he'd been given was through Milly's intervention.
Intervention... that quickly turned into an event. An event which, without Rolo's help, would have become a massacre.
Lelouch had told C.C. about his troubles, since the witch kept wanting to know what was on his mind anyway-and a little extra wouldn't have hurt-and no he was definitely not ranting to her at all-even when she had that stupidly big smirk on her face the whole time and-
And she'd said one line:
"You haven't considered that love can be a weapon greater than the Geass, have you?"
...that was why he, Lelouch Lamperouge, once vi Britannia and seventeenth prince of the Holy Britannian Empire, was waiting in the gardens for one Shirley Fenette to arrive.
It wasn't so bad. The gardens, similar to most of Britannian-rebuilt locations, were beautiful. Sweeping pathways bordered majestic trees, and immaculate grass lawns sat aside vivid flowering displays. Even the minimalistic architecture enhanced every element as if nature required Britannian influence if it wished to be as picturesque as it did. The fountain he was leaning on, some white, spiralling tower that could only have been Clovis's own design, easily sat as the centrepiece to reflect its surrounds.
If Lelouch hadn't been the very man in charge of the rebel groups, he might have forgotten the Black Knights existed.
"Lulu!"
Shirley ran up to him, sandals sliding along gravel that hissed with every step. She looked pretty, he had to admit, her strawberry-blonde hair matched the long dress she'd chosen to wear. A small jacket kept her warm, one she was trying to rearrange the collar of so it was no longer caught under her handbag.
"Shirley," he greeted. Experimentally he allowed a small smile to appear on his face, and when she blushed he filed that information away for further use. "You look lovely."
She didn't blush and stutter, as he'd anticipated: instead, her lips formed a smile mirroring his own.
"You look nice too," she said.
Lelouch nodded a little as if in agreement; after he'd told Sayoko, the maid had picked an outfit for him at once. She didn't even question the decision that he would be the one to go on the date with intent to gather data. He didn't even need to give any explanations to convince her!
Shirley spoke, just as the two linked arms - initiated by her, of course, something Lelouch would keep in mind later - and began leaving the gardens. "Zero isn't going to do anything today, right?"
And that was another contributing factor to Lelouch's plan. She'd come to him a few days before, telling him she knew he was Zero. Which would have been a concern in itself, but instead of using it as leverage and blackmail material (as any sane person would), she said she still loved him (there it was again, love!) and that she didn't mind.
Even though Zero killed her father.
"He couldn't, even if he wanted to," Lelouch replied. "He is occupied for the rest of today."
He wasn't too concerned about being overheard since he'd spoken softly, but was surprised when she blushed and glanced away. In all honesty, Lelouch never expected it: he'd meant the statement as a matter of fact. Maybe it had something to do with him leaning in and their increased proximity; there was only so far a whisper could travel.
He suppressed a sigh. Why was this strange mix of chemicals in the brain so difficult to comprehend?
The date had gone pretty well, Lelouch thought. He'd gathered a lot of data, and towards the end he found it slowly easier to predict and anticipate Shirley's reactions. That meant the conditions for solving (and thus controlling) Shirley Fenette were slowly being cleared.
Unfortunately, his newfound data about how love was and how he could use it led him to a slightly disturbing discovery.
Kouzuki Kallen was in love with Zero. Not Lelouch.
Zero.
Of course... at the current moment, it was all conjecture. At least he hoped it was. But in the end, the only way he could know the truth for sure was if he asked her, found out from her himself.
It was one night a few nights ago, when he was sitting cross-legged, arm propping his head up and hand conveniently covering his Geass eye - not that there was anyone to see it, of course. And on that night a few nights ago, he was devising a strategy to make Kallen tell him whether or not she was in love with him and then use it for his own benefit.
(He'd told C.C. that last bit while bouncing ideas, and she kicked him off his bed.)
But the witch did know things. And once again, she was responsible for a fairly important part of his strategy though he would never admit it - and that was the idea that the people he planned to use did not have to be in love with him to the point of admission. So long as they even loved him a little bit, he could use that against them.
He already knew without needing any sort of data that Kallen wouldn't be a person susceptible to sweet words. She liked action, so Lelouch thought of a plan working around that. It was a very good plan.
It began during Kallen's daily training with the Guren. Rakshata didn't say a word when he appeared twenty-five minutes in, for no reason but to watch his best Knight at work.
...Though, as he watched the live Guren simulator feed, and the ease in which she manoeuvred the Knightmare in destroying hundreds of enemy Sutherlands in less time it took him to take off his mask, he couldn't help the feeling of apprehension in the very back of his mind. He disliked the human factor, and when considering how volatile the nature of some women could be there was a fairly high chance that one wrong, miscalculated move could send the entire plan to its doom.
Just like how that last enemy aircraft was hit, then spiralled out of control. He needed to be subtle, he decided, and quickly re-configured The Plan to match.
When Kallen stepped out of the simulator, to the applause of him, Rakshata and anyone else watching, she walked over to him as if she knew he was there. And she did, he knew, because of location, and the emergency hole in the simulator in case it decided to blow up... again.
"Your orders, sir?" Kallen asked.
Lelouch's brain worked overdrive about every variable from her slouch to how long she'd been in there for. Outwardly, Zero lifted an arm and placed it on her shoulder.
"Good work, Kallen," he said, voice showing no hint about how much brainpower it took to decide on three words.
He inclined his head and left, waiting just long enough to see the faint blush on her cheeks. Three hours later he requested the simulator results.
Twenty-five minutes in, Kallen's skill rating jumped 26%.
A/N: Yes. I'm writing the Lelouch-is-a-stick interpretation of his love life. His actual character would be a little more knowledgeable, but this is more fun. And silly. Sorry about short chapter being short. I find silliness comes in chapters of 1k, and it's harder for me to write more.
Also, everyone means everyone, so in order for your preferred characters to appear first, here's a mini-poll for you: Who should be next to appear? Or, should I expand on the beginnings of Lulu/Shirley and Lulu/Kallen? ;)
Review?