Out of Reach

By:Aquarius9347

Series of Confessions

"So, what's your answer?" asked Clint.

"Huh? What do you mean? What answer? About the test?" I pretended not to understand him. But I knew that he meant the one he told me two months ago.

"Uh—No." He wasn't fooled. "About what I feel for you. May I know if I have a chance with you?"

I sighed. "Oh—Honestly, I don't know." But it's safer to say that he shouldn't hope anymore. What I told him was wrong but maybe part of me is already falling for him. I really don't know.

Now it was his turn to sigh. He hoped for a better answer than the lame excuse I gave him.

"Um—Clint, I better go now. I still have a lot of things to do."

"Ah—sure. Le'me know if you need anything"

"Thanks. Bye. See yah 'round" What a non-committal answer. I bet he knows I won't ask for his help. I don't want people thinking I'm just using Clint to my advantage.

I'm so sure that if things like a confrontation will happen, they will all sympathize with Clint. He's too handsome, too smart, too sporty, too gentle, too polite, too honest, and too hot not to win peoples' hearts. While I just look like any other girl from a quiet city, not so smart, never sporty, frank but tactful, and I won't and no one will consider me as a "hotty".

As I reached the benches near the Guard House, I saw Chelsea. I hurried towards her and saw Tom sitting near her.

"Hi Rin!" said Chelsea.

"'lo!" I said.

"Busy with the program?" she asked.

"Yep. Hey did you know that Clint asked that same old question again?"

"Really! So—what did you tell him?"

"I told him, I don't know" I smiled.

"Hm—you're being unfair. If I were you, I will say yes"

"Yeah but—I don't think I like him that much to want to be with him", I answered truthfully.

"Hey..I'll just go and grab something to drink, okay? I'll be right back. I promise", she said.

I sighed. "Okay" then she went.

"So—" This is awkward. I'm not really close with Tom. He's a year younger than me.

"You know—if you don't like Clint then you shouldn't force yourself. Tell him straight that you don't like him so he'll leave you alone." Wow! That was quite an advice coming from Tom.

"Ah—Thanks for the advice" 'Even though it wasn't needed', I wanted to add.

"'cause if you really don't like him then I'm putting myself forward. I've been liking you since the start of the second semester." The words came out a surprise.

Tom? Liking me? No way!

"I can tell from that look on your face that you don't believe me", he said.

I blushed.

"Look Tom. This really came out as a surprise to me. I don't think we've known each other so well. And you're a year younger."

"Maybe if you have looked in my direction then you would've known me other than my name and age", he muttered.

"Um—okay I'm sorry about the 'age thing'. It's just like you said, I only know those things about you. And I doubt you know anything about me other than what you see and what you hear."

"But you can know me better." Such perseverance, I wanted to strangle him.

I sighed. "Tom—" I looked at him in the eyes.

"Okay I get what you're saying. But can you at least try?" Oh shocks! Is he begging? I'm not thick-faced or anything, I just don't want to feel so obligated towards anyone.

"Uh—" I just smiled at him. I hope that he can sense that I'm already irritated. I've never even thought about liking guys who are younger than me.

"Rin! There you are!" Justin yelled.

"Hey Justin!"

"Oh—Hi Tom!" Justin looked at Tom like he just noticed him.

Tom nodded. "Hi Justin" Was that distaste in his voice?

"So um—Rin..I was thinking.." Here we go again..blah blah blah..Justin's speech again. He really insists on asking me out.

"I really can't go", I said more firmly.

"Why?" Alright, so I needed an excuse.

"Um—I'm going to an event with my cousins this Saturday." Great job self! Haha! It was the truth though. About Justin, I find him good-looking and yet a little bit like a playboy.

"Can I come?" He asked.

'WTH! It's a family affair, you dummy!', I thought.

"Uh—no. You do know that my cousins are all married, right?" I said.

"Uh—yeah. So we'll look like a couple." He grinned.

Yuck! So disgusting! I cleared my throat.

"Um—Justin. The event is a meeting of my clan. It's for our Grand reunion. So obviously, you won't find it fun since it'll be spent with adults." I said bluntly.

"Oh! Okay. If you say so. Well how about a movie next time?" he invited.

"Ah—I'll think about it. Thanks for the invite." I smiled.

"Yeah—sure. So see you 'round, okay?" He waved then went with some guys in his class.

I sighed.

"So, even Justin gets rejected huh?" Tom said out of the blue. I gasped.

"WTH?" I was lost for words.

"Well—Clint, Justin and me. We're just the same, we like you and we get rejected by you all the time." He said it like swords cutting my soul. I was hurt by his words because it's the truth. They confessed that they do like me and yet I avoid them and make them feel they still have a chance at the same time. Truthfully speaking, having three suitors at the same time is difficult to handle. What makes it much more difficult is the fact that my heart doesn't beat furiously for even one of them. Clint is just like a friend to me. Justin is just some fellow who's got some nerve to ask me out so confidently. And Tom—well. Tom is my younger cousin's classmate and he's someone I really don't know.

I sighed. I don't really know how to get out of this situation. The only thing that I could think of right now is to use harsh words to shut him up.

"So—what do you want me to do? Choose one of you? Or maybe say yes to the three of you at the same time?" I asked.

"Why don't you just choose one of us?" Ugh! Tom! You're digging your own hole. In this kind of situation, you don't have a chance.

"Well—maybe you're right. For a start, it will put an end to this situation. And then the two of you will do who knows what to me after I chose one of you."

"You're thinking about that? No one will harm you because of a decision involving love."

"Love—huh? Well if that's the case then I'd rather not choose any of you. To be honest with you, this situation is not nice for me. Instead of feeling love I feel obligated. If what you say is true, that no one will harm me because of a decision involving love then I'm ought to give my decision now. I won't choose any of you and the three of you should give up on me." There—I said it.

"So that's it huh?"

"Yep."

He sighed.

"Well—to be fair. I'll have Clint and Justin know."

"Okay."

It was like the world has gone silent after a storm.

Chelsea finally came back with some drinks. And Tom left without saying a word.

"Who's the one doing something now? Idiot!" I mumbled.

"Huh? What is it, Rin?" asked Chelsea.

"I dumped him."

"Whoa! You mean—he—Tom—likes you?"

"That's what he said after you went to buy these drinks and came back after a year."

"That long for you huh?"

"Yep. And by the way, he said that no one will harm me because of a decision involving love."

"Wow! Big words coming from our junior."

"Yeah. And then he went without a saying a word to me after I dumped him."

"How ironic! Well—there's still Clint and Justin."

"Nah—I told Tom I'll also dump the two of them."

"What! Why?"

"This heart. It beats for no one in particular at the moment." I smiled. I haven't fallen in love.

"Rin! Dumping Justin, I can understand that. But dumping Clint? Out of the three suitors, he's the one closest to you."

"Yeah—I know that. That's the hard part. I just think of him as a friend. Nothing more than that."

"And what will you do if his fan club knows that you hurt their prince?"

I laughed. "Fan club huh? Well, I guess they'll feel disgusted by the idea of a commoner rejecting a prince. But they'll get over it. They'll realize that it will put them to their advantage. Clint will not look at me with those eyes anymore and the girls will have a chance with him."

"Now that you think of it that way. It will really cause a riot with those girls. " We laughed. But there's uneasiness inside me. What if the two of them start avoiding me like Tom did just now.