Title: But For Love p1
Author: Mair Technosage
Pairings: T & B
Disclaimer: I do not own them. I just play with them, mess with their heads, make them take off their clothes; make them do things they may not normally do and put them back when I'm done.
He wasn't sure when it started, but he knew when he first figured it out. The first twinge he noticed was when Bunny scolded him for messing up the apprehension of "Jake" in the warehouse. Barnaby's words about the lack of trust pierced him to the core to the extent he couldn't even say anything in his defense. The last time he felt something like that was when his wife told him to go, to leave her and be a hero. The only difference was that he wasn't as anxious now as he was then and the person talking to him was upset instead of dying. Still, at the time clueless Kotetsu couldn't be in love. He'd been married. He had a family (though he didn't see them terribly often). He'd just never had a partner at work—that had to be the reason that discussion affected him so much. Really. "Denial…not just a river in Egypt," Kotetsu thought as he snorted into his glass. He remembered the burning need to get to Bunny and give him what he'd need to take the bastard out—hoping that it would redeem him in Barnaby's eyes.
Disjointed images and rough footage flashed on the screen as he dragged his attention back to the TV and took a swallow of whiskey. The volume was barely audible, but when you've lived something you remember more or less what was said at the time anyway. He grabbed the remote from the coffee table and paused the footage.
Once they got back down on the ground, those "kissable" (according to Hero TV Magazine) lips said his name for the first time and said it with appreciation and respect. A sad smile grew on his face as he took a smaller sip of whiskey. On screen was the frozen the image of him during that discussion on the tv screen from that fateful day. Studying his expression on the horrid camera angle, he was simply amazed he wasn't the color of Bunny's suit. He sighed and let the hand gripping the remote drop back into his lap as he stared at the screen. His celebratory drinking binge that followed work that day should have been his clue.
Over the following months of crime fighting and interviews since that incident he'd dragged his Bunny-chan out a couple of times with Antonio and Nathan, much to Nathan's joy at having "Hot Bun's" and "Handsome" out at the same time. Oh how he paid for having those evenings out—one evening, one civilian saved. The smile faded as he glanced down at his glass.
Expensive currency, especially in light of the fact that he paid for whatever Bunny consumed. But getting Barnaby to relax was no easy task and if he had to get those evenings out in the good dive bars where he picked up the tab so be it. Watching his partner out of the corner of his eye as they would leave those places he could see the good it did. The fact that he enjoyed seeing the younger man loosen up a little was coincidental and completely not a result of romantic feelings.
Kotetsu turned off the tv and set the remote down on the coffee table. His eye was caught by the disk with the label of "Hero TV interviews – July – October 1978". He flopped back into the couch. "…and that was when Clueless Kotetsu finally got a clue" he murmured to the empty room and took the last sip of his drink. The chilled glass with its condensation settled against the inside of his leg slowly chilling his skin.
An evening like this one-just over a month ago, he watched the recorded interview of him and Barnaby that had aired earlier that day and he remembered all too well the funny flip his stomach did as he watched their boisterous exchange. It was like watching the old home movies of himself and Tomoe. That was when he figured it out. It wasn't just friendship between them anymore though he doubted Bunny knew it. Or maybe in Bunny's eyes it was. He set the glass down on the table and grabbed the disk. He lurched to his feet and went over to the entertainment unit and ejected the DVD. He put the disk in the waiting case and then set both packaged disks into the waiting box. One taped box later, he turned to survey the bare room.
The last month had been really hard to conceal his feelings for his partner as well as his fading powers. Bunny had loosened up so much since January that he couldn't be sure that the most recent Hero TV interview just him loosening up or something better. Still, he occasionally managed to catch the odd fond look from his partner as a result of something he did that ten months before would have garnered a glare instead. He managed to hold it together for a while, trying to get a clue from Bunny about how he felt. He even went to the extent of swallowing his pride and asking for extra dance lessons from Blue Rose to make sure he wouldn't embarrass Bunny when they released their single. He'd even thought about asking Bunny out or over to learn even more about him.
Unfortunately his powers had other plans-declining faster than he expected after that fateful start the night of their performance. After Ben told him about Legend, he couldn't hold it together or justify acting on anything. It wasn't so much about his powers, although that was a large part of it, it was more about the fact that he wouldn't be able to continue working with Bunny. How could he pursue someone…maybe…as a romantic interest if he couldn't be a true partner? Someone who could stand shoulder to shoulder and have their back? How could someone accept a partner in decline? Someone who couldn't be relied on…someone who had a daughter who needed him just as much as his partner needed someone who could always have his back. He couldn't stay in Sternbuild without wanting to defend it and its inhabitants. The city needed its hero's, and Bunny wouldn't have any reason to leave aside from a relationship with Kotetsu. After being paired with Bunny for as long as he had he knew Bunny wouldn't be able to leave without feeling incomplete or resentful simply for lack of long term things to do.
His journal was more or less a countdown, unless he could figure something out, for how long he could remain by Bunny's side. It was that promise of declining power that started to get him thinking ahead more. He was afraid of breaking his promise to Tomoe…even if she wasn't around to call him on it. He didn't anticipate how hard the recent visit home would be. As much as he loved Barnaby, he loved his daughter too and she needed him more. That is, she needed him more until this recent mess with Kriem. He stalked over to the coffee table and grabbed his glass. More out of habit than anything he dumped the ice into the sink and set down the glass.
"What am I going to do, Tomoe? He's a mess and Kaede is mad at me again." He glanced over at the picture frames lying on top of the box nearest the door. The trio of pictures was unfolded next to the packing tape. Tomoe smiled out at him from that moment in time.
"You'll do the right thing" the smile seemed to say. He sighed and looked around him at what little else there was to do. He looked back at the picture. Fine. The rest of the packing could wait. He had a partner to help.