A/N: This is my entry for Halloween Countdown, so grab your candy bags and masks and settle in for a ride.
I was pretty sure it was four in the morning. There was the tiniest tease of light on the horizon, so small that I thought it was the nightlight from the hallway reflecting off the glass. The window was wide open, inviting and eager for its nightly lover to crawl through. I couldn't sleep and after hours of tossing and turning I just gave up, instead settling on watching the billowing drapes that were blowing to and from.
I shivered into my blankets and pulled them tighter against my chin. My bare legs were aching and desperate for some cool relief. My abdomen clenched uncomfortably and my thighs were bruising up. As cliché and dramatic as it sounded I didn't want to take anything for the pain, I wanted to feel it.
A tear slipped from my eye and I wiped at it furiously. I had sustained from crying all night and now was not the time to start. The throbbing and bruising didn't bother me, it was the cracking in my chest that rocked me to the core and burned through where no one should touch.
All I wanted was for Edward to come back and tell me I'd be okay. I wanted his cool thigh between mine and soothe the ache. He wouldn't be back tonight, though. Maybe never another night again.
I rolled onto my side and stared at the clock. Five in the morning. That was as good a time as any. I got up and limped to the shower. The scalding didn't help to soothe the aching in my shoulders, but I pretended it did.
I walked down to the kitchen, for the first time ever hoping that Charlie would be there drinking his coffee and picking at his cereal. But Charlie was gone on the graveyard shift and through the afternoon. At least he didn't have to listen to the roaring last night. God knows it would be stuck in my brain for the rest of my life.
In the driveway my heart broke a little more. There was no silver Volvo waiting for me. No perky head of bronze hair to greet me with a kiss and an enthusiastic welcome.
Instead there was a red jeep planted awkwardly on the curb, too big to pull into the one car drive. The passenger side door popped open for me and I walked a bit cautiously to it.
Emmett was at the wheel, eyes planted on the road. Everyone except for Edward was in the back, silent as a graveyard and staring off in different directions. Nothing needed to be said, I already knew.
I felt the effects from Jasper, whether he meant it or not I tried to shrug it off. It stopped almost immediately. Silent communication passed through the car I was sure, at one point I saw Rosalie's lips moving minutely in a whisper that only they would hear.
Once at school Alice flanked my side, quiet and strong, Rosalie moved to the other side dutifully. People stared and talked, maybe assumed there was a bad break up. I didn't mind, though, it felt like a piece of me broke off when he sprinted for the window last night, face tight in agony.
"It'll be alright," Alice murmured. I said nothing. "Really it will."
I swallowed back a lump in my throat and we went our separate ways.
--
"I think you just need some girl time," Rosalie said from the back seat after another silent drive.
I managed to get through school easily, I refused to wallow all day and act like he'd left me again. Alice said it would be alright and I believed her. Just because I was impatient didn't mean I had to suffer through the time he was gone.
Jasper snorted next to her and she elbowed him in the ribs. He didn't flinch.
"I'm serious," she snapped testily. "After I was changed and I was around all this testosterone—" her eyes darted to Emmett and he grinned "—all I wanted was someone to talk to. Some who would understand what I meant and wouldn't judge."
"You can sleep over," Alice said lightly. "Charlie will be sleeping all day. It's up to you, though."
Everyone's attention was on Alice. She never just… asked. She was a know-it-all who made decisions whether you agreed at the moment or not. Rosalie nodded at me in the mirror, like her acceptance would solidify my answer.
I swallowed thickly. "Sure," I murmured. "I need your help with something anyway."
Emmett rammed his foot on the gas and we were flying in the direction of my house. I snapped my eyes shut and gave a short shriek that fell on deaf ears.
It took me all of ten seconds to get an agreement out of Charlie. He told me yes, and then to went into his room so he could sleep. There were purple bags under his eyes and he was snoring again when I shut the door.
Alice was in my room waiting for me, packing a small duffel bag full of things I'd need. But she was packing my comfort clothes. Even the holey sweats that she'd threatened to burn.
I felt like a charity case all of a sudden, like they were putting up with me for the sake of Edward, wherever the hell he was.
I took in a deep breath and tried to remember that they were my friends, too. But looking around my room, the open window, the tear up the side of a drape, and the messy sheets that were lightly spotted in blood made me wrap my arms around my chest and hold it together.
Alice gripped my forearm comfortingly and dragged me out of my room and to the car.
Jasper and Emmett were gone when I got in. Rosalie was at the wheel instead, sun glasses that cost more than my truck resting on the bridge of her nose.
"Boys are hunting," she said and threw a similar pair of glasses at me. "Esme's making you Italian and soup." Her nose wrinkled.
"I think we should bake cookies," Alice piped up from the back.
"You don't eat," I mumbled.
"It doesn't matter." She waved her hand dismissively. "Girls do this kind of thing all the time."
I rolled my eyes once the sun glasses were in place.
--
"I don't like yellow." I wrinkled my nose at the neon shade Alice threw to me from the bottom drawer of her dresser. I had underwear in mine.
"That's preposterous," she huffed. "Everyone likes yellow. You don't like yellow nail polish."
Rosalie threw me a red shade. It was bold and vibrant, sexy and daring. I threw it back. She stuck her arms back in and dug out a baby blue. I caught it eagerly and unscrewed the top.
"I think that color looks better than yellow," Rosalie said proudly. Alice rolled her eyes and came over with a cuticle scraper. I recoiled my toes and she held up her hands, dropping it to the floor.
Alice jumped in front of me, making her waterbed bounce back and forth. The sloshing made me seasick. Rosalie sat next to me with a magazine in her hand.
"So you needed help?" Rosalie asked, flipping through the cosmetic section and looking at different complexions before pointing to one and showing it to Alice.
I nodded meekly and pulled down the collar of my shirt. Rosalie's eyes widened and Alice looked solemn.
On my collarbone was a large purple bruise, two actually. Right below my neck and on either side, they stood out a bright contrast to my skin. I released the material and looked down at the comforter.
The girls watched me carefully, like I'd shatter. Rosalie got up and walked to the bathroom at a human pace, probably so I wouldn't go into shock. It irritated me a bit, but I bit my tongue.
She came out moments later with her arms full of cosmetic supplies. Alice worked on my toes, painting pretty designs with a white polish over the blue.
"Thank you," I whispered.
They both nodded and went about their work quietly. Rosalie dabbed some foundation on my neck, smoothing it down with a sponge and then putting a light powder over it. She wiped it away, though, and said it wouldn't work when I blushed.
My hands and mind being unoccupied wasn't necessarily a good thing. I began to get bored watching Alice make swirls and flowers on my nails and Rosalie worked pensively to get the bruises under the makeup without making it look unnatural. So my mind went back to last night and I slowly but surely began to cry.
Alice and Rosalie stopped what they were doing and each wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I sobbed loudly and unabashedly as I remembered the look on his face, the pain, the way his teeth came out, bright and sharp with venom streaking down and hitting my skin while he tried to restrain himself.
"I wish he'd killed me," I cried loudly.
"No… no, don't say that," Alice murmured gently.
She turned me to face her, careful of my blue toes. Her big gold eyes were wide and were trying to stare into my soul. I had to close my eyes because his were the exact same way last night. He was so hopeful, ready, willing, and it all went to hell in a hand basket with a simple push forward.
I wriggled away from her and put my face in my hands, trying to hide from the world. I pulled my legs to my chest and yelped as my thighs rubbed together. My jaw clenched in pain and I sat Indian style, smearing the paint all over the bed spread.
"Bella…" Alice leaned forward and turned me towards her.
"No," I whimpered.
"He'll come back and everything will be okay."
"No."
"Yes, it will. You have to have a little faith."
"What if I don't want him to?" I snapped.
I immediately regretted it and the shock on Alice's face made my stomach hurt. Of course I wanted him back; I loved him more than the world. But the pain coursing through my body at every movement made that hard to remember.
"How did this even happen?" Rosalie whispered to herself.
I turned to her. Maybe, for the first time ever, we met eye to eye and I didn't flinch away because I was the strong one for once.
"It just did."
"Tell me," she pleaded.
"He came over and we had… sex." My cheeks flamed but I didn't look away.
"I know that," she pursed her lips. "Tell me how."
"We got undressed and—"
"I know that. I want the preceding facts and steps. How did you convince Chastity Boy to unlock his loins?"
I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to my chest tightly. I didn't want to think—much less talk about it. Rosalie looked like she was in shock, her mouth hanging open and her wide eyes urging me to tell. Alice had told her I was sure, but maybe seeing me up close, realizing that her brother—a virgin for a century—had touched me she couldn't fathom how.
I lay down and crawled under the sheets. It felt like I was cocooned and cushioned. Maybe if I was wrapped up tight enough nothing bad would happen. It sounded a lot like what a sexual assault victim would say.
"He came over… and we were talking." I swallowed. "And then, around midnight, we were… I guess just kissing and—and he didn't stop, so I wasn't going to just stop him. He never loses control. Ever," I murmured.
"How did you get all those marks?" Rosalie asked hesitantly, like she already knew the answer.
I closed my eyes. "He lost control."
"He didn't bite you at least," Alice said quietly, stroking my hair.
"It would have been better than running for the window," I muttered dejectedly.
"It was a full moon," Rosalie exclaimed. "It makes sense, the moon, the blood, the steady stream of pheromones."
Alice stiffened beside me and Rosalie's face was drawn into a blank mask. I sat up immediately. No more secrets, I wanted the whole truth before I wallowed.
"Tell me!" I screamed.
"Our bodies react chemically under a full moon," Alice repeated mechanically. "Edward didn't think… he was too cocky with his control and didn't think of the consequences."
"Because sleeping with me must have been a consequence," I mumbled and buried my face deeper in the pillow.
"No, Bella, that's not it. Most of us—we can't contain ourselves, we need to be locked up and away from humans."
Something about the way she worded that made me think. Edward had been around me on full moons, we had been in an open field, though. The meadow had strong breezes and he was always downwind.
My stomach panged at the thoughts in my head. Maybe things didn't have to be this way.
"When's the next full moon?" I asked.
Rosalie answered. "Halloween."
"No." Alice's mouth formed a hard line. "You're not playing with fire. He came this close to killing you last time; you can't do that to him."
"He hadn't fed for weeks!"
"It doesn't matter," she answered, her eyes flat black.
I nodded, but had no intention of letting this drop. Maybe it was my bruised ego not ready to let go of being physical with Edward, but I wanted this. Come Halloween I would have a repeat of last night with a much more effective ending.
--
"Should I get you a crystal ball?" I asked Alice.
"No, you can shut up, though," she mumbled and pressed her fingers to her temple once more.
Alice had lost track of Edward's decisions sometime early in the morning. It had been a week and half since he left and from what Alice saw he was constantly debating whether or not to come home. He was like a nomad, she'd said, only his car was with him and he hunted any animal he came across.
Rosalie was tugging at the roots of my hair, trying to tease the roots and avoid burning my scalp with the flattening iron and a curling iron in each hand. Since Edward had left she'd been warmer and taken me under her wing. The bruises on my neck, though still visible, were well hidden underneath foundation and makeup.
I was assessed as a charity case and Rosalie commenced to give me a lecture on how I needed to cut it out. After that she dragged me into the bathroom, taught me to apply mascara and eye shadow and how to make bouncy curls.
Alice sighed out loud and fell to her back on the bed. "He's completely blocking me. This doesn't happen."
"It happened before," Rosalie argued.
I flushed when her eyes flashed to me and her pupils dilated in that instant, her mouth hanging open and her eyelids flew upward. She looked like a victim in a horror movie. Rosalie was unmoving behind me, her hands suspended in the air in the motion of her brushing.
"He's made a decision," she gasped.
Not two minutes later the sound of the garage echoed through the house. The vibrations under my feet forced me to go as still as Alice was. She looked distraught and Rosalie growled low in her chest behind me.
"He's here," she grumbled and unplugged all her beauty supplies quickly before sitting next to me on Alice's bed.
Alice and Rosalie were unmoving beside me, most likely listening for sounds of his approach. I vaguely heard the sounds of a door being slammed open and then feet running from upstairs to the lower level of the house, but all else was eerily quiet.
I strained my ears, but I had to assume they knew I'd be listening and trying to hide their conversation.
It seemed too soon, though. I had wanted him to come back after being away for so long, I had wanted to wake up and find him beside me on my bed, looking remorse and swearing he would never allow that to happen again. I also wanted him to stay away a little longer, just so I could build myself up and be ready for him to tell me we could never do that again. I wanted physical intimacy, but was it so bad to want more?
The door to Alice's room opened slowly and Jasper was on the other side. His eyes were darker than normal and he jerked his head roughly behind him.
"Nuh-uh, no way," Rosalie hissed beside me.
"Out," Jasper snapped at her.
Alice grabbed onto Rosalie and tugged her to the door, giving me one last reassuring look before she left. I could see the faith in her eyes, but I wasn't sure mine mirrored them.
The door was opened wider for them to exit, and that was when I saw him. He was exactly the same to anyone else, bright, vibrant gold eyes, pale skin and tousled bronze hair. But no one else would notice the depths of pain in his eyes, the slight worry mark between his brows, and the way his hair stood on end with the motion of his hands running through it.
He moved forward into the room, closing the door behind him and standing there. He looked like a condemned man waiting for his trial. His legs were shoulder length apart and he watched me carefully.
I swallowed hard. "Hi."
His eyes grew wary and he moved forward slowly. The water bed moved with his weight as he sat an arms length away from me—my arm length to be exact. I moved just as slowly and turned to face him, sitting Indian style as it was the only comfortable position for my thighs.
It was quiet for some time as we looked over each other. It had been so long since we'd been more than a few days apart. My last memories of him were not the fondest, but I wanted them nonetheless, and I wanted more.
"Where did you go?" I asked lightly.
"Canada," he murmured quietly.
"Was it nice?"
He looked at me incredulously and then his tense shoulders slumped in a defeated way. "Very."
I nodded and leaned closer, my body on an automatic hum from his proximity. "Rosalie taught me how to curl my hair," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "And Alice painted my toes, see? I did the left foot and she did the right. Emmett taught me to play some of his video games but he kept killing me. Jasper let me into his study, too. He has this thick old volume of stories from the Civil War and in the margins he wrote notes on what really happened, so when I asked he told me some of the stories—what he could remember from his human life anyway."
He nodded. "I've seen."
Whether he was referring to the book or the images in Jasper's head I wasn't sure, but I continued anyway. "Esme and I made stuffed peppers. All of the kitchen appliances are new, you know, so it was a real blast. And Carlisle showed me his first edition of Dracula."
He cracked a smile and I smiled back. I managed to roll onto my knees without wincing and carefully moved closer to him so that our legs touched. I tentatively reached out to touch his hand and our fingers slipped together easily.
"Bella," he said suddenly, his throat thick. "I am so unbelievably sorry."
I shook my head, smiling. I had wanted that guilt ridden face and his silly apologies for a week now. "It's alright, Edward. Please, no more apologies. What happened was an accident, a slip, and next time it won't happen."
His eyes darkened. "There won't be a next time."
I sighed loudly. "Not now, or today, but in the future, Edward."
"No." His jaw was set and his mouth was in a hard line. "There's no chance of it happening again, not until you're…" he trailed off and closed his eyes briefly.
"That's not anytime soon," I murmured.
"It's too soon," he whispered. "I can't—let's talk about something else."
"You have nice legs," I giggled like an eleven-year-old.
He looked at me from the corner of his eye and laughed too, the tension finally breaking around the elephant in the room.
"So do you, Bella," he chuckled.
We spoke candidly about last week and how we had been feeling prior to the actual… sex part. He made me blush repeatedly, telling me what he loved about my body, and the sounds I made. I tried to do the same but ended up pushing my face into a pillow and muttering.
Around three in the morning I wasn't able to stay up any longer and Edward pulled my back to his chest and hummed in my ear.
--
I hadn't really planned out how I would get Edward to sleep with me on Halloween. I just assumed that things would fall into place and it would happen. But he was a lot more careful with me since the first time.
We spent every waking moment together, never separated in school unless we had class, and met between periods. Alice gave me weary glances and looks, but must have been keeping her mind to herself since Edward hadn't brought anything up. Maybe she really was on my side after all.
The more I thought about it, the more my planning spiraled downhill. Edward's control was flawless as usual, and he hunted only when I was deeply asleep. I was positive that this time things would go without a hitch. Alice told me to have a little faith, and I had a mountain full that this would work out.
Two weeks into his return, Jessica Stanly announced that she was holding a Halloween party. And I found my point of entry.
I wouldn't have gone if not for the perfect opportunity that arose with it. I convinced Edward to come with me, telling him it was a human experience that we both needed to have, and he caved when I told him we could go in matching outfits.
Hence why I was now sitting on the floor of Rosalie and Emmett's room flipping through catalogue after catalogue of women's and men's costumes. Emmett was set on being a pirate and Rosalie was going as his wench, so with her costume decided and done she helped me with mine.
"So you're going through with it then?" she asked, flipping the page and tearing it out to add with her collection of possible choices.
"Hopefully," I muttered.
We were the only two in the house, everyone else had gone on a hunt and since it was raining, they most likely wrestled each other into the trees. In the distance I could hear cracks and groans mixed with muted thuds and each time Rosalie rolled her eyes.
"How do you plan on going about it?"
"I don't know," I sighed. "But are you sure you and Emmett will be alright with all of those humans and a full moon to boot?"
"We'll be fine." She waved her hand. "Understandably Jasper won't be coming. He and Alice decided to go away for the weekend anyway."
I pushed myself up on my elbows. "I need something… um… slinky."
Rosalie looked at me and rolled her eyes, shoving her collection at me. The top picture was a mermaid girl with seashell pasties on her nipples. I flushed a thousand shades of red and crumpled it into a ball.
The next one was a cat girl—or what should have been. Her outfit was patent leather and shredded into strips. Each page I picked up got worse until I got to a mesh section where actual private parts were visible.
Rosalie grabbed them when I started sputtering. "When you get bolder you can wear those." She winked. "I think Edward would appreciate my efforts."
"He doesn't even want to sleep with me," I mumbled.
"Oh, trust me, he does, he just won't bone up to it." She grinned at her pun. I shook my head and she continued. "You should hear him in the shower before school. He grunts like a wild animal."
"Stop!" I screeched and covered my ears. No, no, no, I did not just hear that.
She laughed loudly, her head thrown back, and she rolled on the floor clutching at her sides unnecessarily. I shuffled through the papers and threw one at her. She picked it up off the floor, wiped a nonexistent tear from her eye and pursed her lips.
"Bo-ring," she belted.
"I think it's perfectly fine. It works well, don't you think?"
"Little Bella Swan, always playing it safe," she mocked. "Lady and Gentleman of the twentieth century? You're such a suck up."
"Whatever it takes to get him in bed," I sighed.
She nodded her head and stuck the picture into a laminate slip. "Alice will work on the stitching once it arrives in the mail."
"Rosalie?" I asked a little timidly.
"Yeah?"
"Do you… do you think it will work?"
She seemed to take that into consideration for a moment. Her lips pursed a little and she looked from me to the picture several times. Her eyes met mine and the sincerity strangled words in my throat.
"Yes, Bella, I know it will work."
The front door slammed open downstairs and yelling echoed through the house. I heard Emmett taunting Edward over something and then a crash. Rosalie cringed and Esme's voice floated upstairs in shrill waves.
--
"This was your decision," Alice sang mocking voice. She gave another sharp tug on the corset I was wearing. I sucked in a breath and whimpered as one of the metal loops dug into my skin.
Rosalie came in with a freshly steamed dress swinging in her arms and Esme was polishing the matching black leather shoes. My ribs ached and I tried to struggle away from Alice.
Esme laugh softly. "You're like me when my mother tried to tie the laces."
"It hurts," I whined. I immediately snapped my mouth shut and Alice started to lace further up my spine.
My arms were in the air and a moment later the dress was being tugged over my head. I shrieked short and quick into the fabric and then my eyes were uncovered and I was looking in a mirror. The girl before me… wasn't me. She was someone from a different time with a tiny waist and full hips and a bust that piled up, round and desirable.
"Um… wow," I mumbled.
Alice sighed dreamily behind me and Rosalie started working on pulling my hair back from my face with a diamond barrette. Esme snapped a picture before I could complain.
"Edward will fall to his knees," Esme laughed lightly.
Fifteen minutes later I was a walking representative for a romance novel. My hair was set in waves down my back and pulled right past my ears and I had the most beautiful baby blue dress on. Alice said it would go well with my toes.
Emmett was lounging on the couch when I managed to escape from upstairs. I plopped down next to him and he stared at me a beat longer than normal.
"You clean up well, kid," he said, sounding almost astonished.
"Thanks, you too, Emmett."
He went back to his game, handing me the other control. We sat in silence for a while, only the sounds from the television disturbing us. Eventually nine o'clock rounded and I found myself reeling in nervousness. Jasper had gone missing from the house and Alice was leaving by the time Edward got back.
Emmett and I waited by the stairs for Rosalie, he patted my back reassuringly when I started shifting from foot to foot. I think, somehow, he knew. Not all the details, but that I was trying to do something and not working up the right amount of courage. His dimpled grin helped me, though.
Rosalie came down the stairs slowly, twirling at the bottom and tearing the eye patch from Emmett's face.
We walked to the garage and resting against the front of the Volvo, was Edward. He looked like the perfect gentleman, like he would have when he was alive. Black trousers and matching coat, crisp while shirt and I noticed knee length coattails swaying in the breeze.
He was staring at me, too, but more intently. He seemed stunned and as I walked closer his eyes moved up to mine and we were alone. Rosalie and Emmett had gone in the jeep, leaving us to observe each other in only the harsh light of the garage.
"You look… incredible," he breathed.
I took a step closer. "I feel like we're in another time."
He nodded and wound his arms around my waist. It was only us in that moment, and he looked at me with those big gold eyes, earnest and unyielding. I was hit with déjà vu as I gazed into them, they were the same as the night we first made love, exactly the same.
I heard little kids running down the road, screaming for their friends to hurry as they managed to make it down the Cullen's drive. A group of ten children ran up to the front porch, some looking over at Edward and I. Esme opened the door and gave each of them large candy bars and other things.
"Do you mind if we don't go tonight?" Edward whispered in my ear.
I shook my head, eager to go anywhere with Edward. He opened the door for me as we got into the car and he drove a little more carefully than normal as we weaved through throngs of children.
We ended up on a deserted road bouncing over rocks and branches until he stopped the car and opened my door to the woods. I gave him a questioning look but he picked me up, mindful of my dress, and ran through the forest until we reached a flicker of light in the distance.
The flicker turned into hundreds, if not thousands of candles. They were all in glass holders and on nearly every spot circling the meadow. I gasped and Edward set me on my feet. I walked slowly to the blanket set up in the middle, a thick comforter that was a dark crimson and unbelievably soft.
I sank to the ground on my knees and turned around to look at Edward. He was observing me, though. His eyes were focused on my every movement and I spread my arms for him to come closer.
Edward moved immediately and was in front of me, kneeling. I breathed in a shaky breath and kissed him full on the lips. His hand grasped gently at my hip and he pulled me closer.
Even closed mouth, I still reveled in the fulfillment that his kiss brought to me. He was careful with his teeth, shielding them from me and trailed a flaming pass to my throat. He didn't linger long, though.
I draped my arms over his shoulder and one hand tangled in his hair while he kissed and licked my collarbone. Time seemed to slow down as his hands wandered across my body and slowly tugged at each clasp on my dress. Nervousness kicked in and I was so damn afraid that he would just stop right here and tell me no. His head perked up when my body stiffened.
"What?" he asked quietly. "Did I hurt you?"
I shook my head and swallowed. "I just… if you're going to stop I can't do this."
His kissed me softly and finished the hooks of my dress. "I thought I would," he murmured. "But I can't."
My eyes darted to the full moon glowing over us, illuminating what the mute light of the candles did not. He nodded his head slightly.
"Can you?" I asked hesitantly.
"Do you want me to?"
"Of course I do, but I can't take another week and a half away from you. I would rather not… do that than have you leave again."
He took my face in his hands and made me look at his eyes. "Bella, I can do this."
And I believed him wholeheartedly. I lay down on my back and he was hovering over me, tugging my dress down my legs and to the ground so I was left in only the corset and my panties. My self-consciousness made a short appearance but was gone when Edward's lips touched my bellybutton and traveled slowly to my naval.
A ragged breath left my lips when I felt his cold fingers rub gently into my hip bones. I undulated helplessly beneath him. My legs were spread slowly as an offering for him and he looked at me like a starving man would at a feast.
Before—when he'd done this it had been different, urgency to try new things and please me, but now he looked at me with eyes that hungered. His palms skated to my thighs and I opened for him in our meadow.
A finger skimmed down the center of my panties and then stopped where my clit was. I gasped and pushed my hips into it. He moved onto his stomach and my legs were over his shoulders with my panties in his fist so quickly that I was startled.
Edward was looking up at me, his eyes darkened severely. I kept eye contact as he lowered his mouth slowly and… I felt his tongue, cold and wet licking at my clit in delicate motion. I threw my head back and a gasping cry left my throat, the sound echoing all around us.
"Ah… Edward," I groaned and he mercifully stuck a finger inside of me.
I moved my hips with his motions, my hands fisting at the comforter and in my hair, scratching at my corset to get to my aching nipples. His unoccupied hand ran up the arched expanse of my stomach and slipped underneath me, undoing the corset ties. I marveled for a moment. When the corset popped forward and I could breathe easier I managed to get it off and my breasts were bare to the world.
Edward's fingers tugged gently at my nipple and my back arched when his tongue moved faster over my clit. My hands were buried in his hair while my body rocked into his over and over until I felt the clenching in my abdomen seizing me up, burning through my veins into my first orgasm ever.
I dropped to the ground and Edward was above me again, this time without his shirt and jacket. His lips were all over me, licking and nipping while his hands scoured over my flesh and swept up the perspiration.
His belt buckle was in my hand in an instant and I was desperately tugging to get it open. He pushed off his pants and I looked at him, exposed in the light of candles and the moon. The cold October breeze blew threw and Edward grabbed a blanket from the side, wrapping it around my shoulders.
I ignored the cold and arched my hips into his. He hissed as I rubbed myself into him. And this was the part I was most concerned with. Everything had been wonderful up this point last time, but once he entered me everything went downhill.
His eyes conveyed that he was thinking the same thing, but he settled himself on his elbows and kissed me before I felt him down there. I bit my lip and tried to keep eye contact, but I had to look—to see our coupling with my own eyes in case it were to happen again.
I saw him slip in slowly, inch by inch until he was pressing all of him into me, our flesh connecting and a quiet groan leaving his mouth. His chest hummed and vibrated through me erotically.
I settle back and he put his forehead against my shoulder as I got used to all of him being inside me. We both sighed as he began to move at a slow pace.
"Bella," he moaned deeply. "God, Bella."
I tugged his hair and began moving in unison with him. It wasn't at all like the first time, no pain or embarrassment, nothing but the two of us, in this place of sanctuary with the each other.
"Edward," I whispered into his ear.
I gasped loudly, his pace picked up and I could feel my hipbones hitting his. He let his weight come down on top of me, chest to chest, mouth to mouth, and at the feeling I was more complete than I had ever been before.
"I love you… I love you so much," I groaned.
He leaned up on his knees, hands on my hips and my legs wrapped around his waist as he continued to thrust. It was all I could do to keep my sanity as this bubble started building in my stomach and then in my chest, reaching my throat as squeaks left with sighs and silent screams.
I exploded into a world of uniform colors and peaceful obliteration and I was right there with Edward, gasping and holding on but not being able to.
He cried into the heavens and released me before his hands could tear into my flesh. He came on my stomach, cold spurts rocketing to my ribs and the well of my stomach. With each breath I took it slid and I was captivated when I should have been disgusted.
"Oh God… oh God… Bella," he panted over and over again, his hand slowly stroking himself until he was flaccid again.
My face was burning but I watched and closed my eyes at the sight. When I opened them again he was above me once more, this time his eyes black with lust and hard against my thigh.
"Edward?" I squeaked.
"I need more," he breathed. My cheeks hurt with the grin that sprung up. My thighs were wrapped around his waist again and I looked up to the moon. "I know it's soon but…"
"It's alright." I grabbed his face in my hands. "It's better than having you run away."
"Never," he vowed. "Never again."
I kissed him long and hard as he slipped in. "I know," I mumbled against his lips, and then my breath was stolen once more.