'What love made us do'

Chapter 1

When Addison found Meredith's panties, she just wanted to kill that blonde woman. She just needed to end her. Then she realized how crazy and insane her thoughts sounded like, she had to at least respect Derek decision on choosing her. Choosing Meredith Grey over her; Addison Montgomery. She felt so betrayed, he said things... she said things... the illusion of a new life with the love of her life was such a beautiful fairytale she really wanted to accomplish. What can I do? She asked herself several times.

The crying wasn't stopping, her heart was aching so bad, she just wanted to throw stuff away, to break some plates and being embraced by two big warm arms. She was in love and couldn't deny it, she was regretting so much, every mistake, every disappointment, every fail. What am I supposed to do? Say "I'm happy for you, Derek. But I low key keep breaking when I see you with that... girl."? She felt so dirty.

She was starting to force herself to accept Derek didn't love her anymore.

Yes, she did commit a mistake, that costed her friendships and her own marriage, even a child; but she was a nice woman, who did mistakes, who was just human, and she just wanted to try to work things out, she didn't want to disappoint anyone else. She wasn't bad, she wasn't evil. For a moment she smiled; but then the smile broke with the old memories she and Derek had. Family brunches, leaving home in the middle of the night for a movie with him, the kisses, the fun... Derek. Cleaning those panties, and leaving them in the eyes of everyone, was her response. The sentence "I need the day off. For drinking." Was the only words Richard Webber heard from Addison that day, she just needed some alcohol. But What she truly wanted was her husband back into her arms, now her only medicine was licking her own scars with the company of some cheap tequila.

After work; at Joe's, Derek found Addison into a bottle of scotch, she was broken and didn't want anyone to even talk to her, except from the bar tender, because she had thought about getting drunker than ever. Derek couldn't believe the state his wife was in. He hated this. The way she was expressing her feelings.

"Addison..." Derek said, posing a hand on his wife's shoulder, sitting next to her, she didn't look into his eyes, like she used to. He was feeling sorry. Knowing Addison she was screaming inside and suffering deeply, at least he had some mercy for her, and decided to talk to her, or to let her talk. At least, to let her hear him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't-" Addison looked at him filled by hate and pain.

"Want to love me again?" She asked, ending his sentence, obviously with her own words. Apparently she will not hear him.

"No, it is not that." Derek replied, he didn't know what else to do or say to her. Some part inside of him told him "don't let her go! You love her. Catch her before she falls!" But then the memory of Mark coming out of the bathroom appeared in his mind and he was saying; "Let her leave you alone."

"Because it seems it is that way." A silence filled the room for both, Derek tried to hold her hand but she retracted her hand from his. She still loved him, deeply, recklessly.

"You know Derek, I danced that night with you; thinking I was coming back home holding your hand, feeling young again. I danced. You know I love dancing. I never danced this way with anyone but you. That night I was free, I was feeling special in that dress, with you. I have been trying. But you decided to have..." she couldn't finish the last sentence. "I can't be married to you, I can't be married to someone that doesn't really love me. I can't keep playing this game. It's too hard. It's too painful... and I seem to be failing all the time. You don't help! I- I can't..." She said, wiping a tear from her right eye.

She just started crying silently, trying not to be seen or heard. But it was late and most of the doctors, interns and residents where catching up over beers, and gossiping... mostly about that love triangle. "I'm even scared of sleeping in the same bed as you knowing that my presence bothers you since I first appeared here." Meredith saw Addison in the bar, she was seriously not looking good, Addison was capable of standing up and slapping her for being the mistress, but, she was concentrated on letting her feelings flow. She could finally told him every thought.

"Addison, I'm so sorry. I don't know what was on my mind, i was so happy with you... i just felt trapped." Derek said.

"Trapped in commitment?! You choose her. Derek, I love you... I loved you! And... now i don't know who you are. Are you the guy... Derek... Are you the man I married? The one that believed in second chances? The one that always tried? The one that loved me?!" A tear running down her cheek, Derek kept hearing and looking at those eyes filled by salty tears.

"Or, are you the one who cheats on his wife and then tries to help by posing a hand on my shoulder?" Addison snapped. Still drunk but knew what she was talking about. "I did cheated. And Mark is a jerk too... but, but i came back. At least I tried. And you keep yourself calm..." She took her hat, her keys and phone, she stood up from her seat, not knowing how; she left upset. She was maybe very drunk, but all she said was pure truth for her. Even Derek knew she was right.

Derek couldn't even reply. He looked outside, he ran looking for Addison, he realized she was right. Addison's words were true. Now Derek was the jerk rejecting her efforts. I want to be that man again.

For some reason he reflected about Addison while walking towards his car, thinking she was now maybe at the trailer. He was also worried, maybe she was lost or something. He just knew Addison was someone important for him. His best friend, his partner in crime. He knew for her in many levels, they knew each other too much that it used to be annoying and even disgusting for everyone.

She was the love of his life. She had something that made Derek feel alive, but Meredith also had something special. The thing, it was that Addison was now changing and blooming; sharing those parts with him, he used to be all the time in a constant secret conversation with Meredith, where she was most of the time too scared to even talk about her feelings, or to show them. He felt sorry for both women. But mostly for Addie.

Meredith was the young one, the fresh crazy one, but... Addison was his old best friend, the one during the hard times, the one who helped his little sister once, the one that maybe cheated but came back to him, the one that was funny, this one was pure and a bomb of flavor. His perfect half.

He knew Addison never surrenders, but if she's already too tired, she's determinantes to go. Derek didn't want her to go.

Coming back home, he could see Addison through the window of the trailer, she had a pillow between her arms and she was crying, she was suffering. Just like when she cheated and it was raining outside, just like when Derek closed the door in her face. He still couldn't forgive himself for how disrespectful that was, considering she is a woman, a lady, and she maybe committed several mistakes, but she was still a lady. Derek choose to stay in the car for some minutes, just to reflect about what to do inside of there.

She's gonna hate me forever. She doesn't deserve me, I don't deserve someone so loyal like her, well... loyal like, trying and waiting for me to come around. She doesn't deserve me. Maybe this is my own revenge. He thought to himself. He was being so revengeful towards her by cheating, just as she did. Now Meredith was some kind of toy, and Addison was the one who he picked first, she was his wife.

Addison was still in pain, yelling, crying, throwing pillows and shoes; making her own very show. When she heard the door of the trailer opening, she took a blanket and tried to calm down, laying down now In fetal position, to act calm and tired. She didn't want to talk, she wanted to act like she was sleeping. As always. She wanted to cry herself until reaching sleep.

"Addie... I am a jerk. I was a jerk, I... I don't deserve you. You came back for me, and I pissed you off twice by sleeping with Meredith. I played with both like... toys." Addison didn't move. "I know you want to cry. I feel so sorry. I am... I apologize." Derek Said honestly.

He didn't know what else to say, he was sad, seeing Addison this way. "Ads..." he said once again, Addison sniffed, covered her face with a hand and started crying again. 'Ads' was the last name Addison's mother used with her, Derek was the only one left calling her that way.

Derek took off his coat, and took a sit next to Addison, he rolled her, she tried to fight over him holding her, but couldn't help and fall into his arms. Just as she wanted. They almost kissed, but Derek just thought sex wasn't the answer, knowing them both, they needed their healing time. As individuals, they needed to heal, or to help each other heal.

"I promise you, I will try to make it up for you. You already tried too much... You deserve at least a second chance. I want to be that fresh man that married you and called you wife to piss you off" he smiled. Addison grinned and found a much better comfortable position into his arms.

"Also, I think Amelia would never forgive me if I leave you once again." Derek joked, he laughed a little, Addison grinned. Derek looked down to his wife's eyes, she looked up to his too. For a minute everything was warm and perfect. Finally. "I'm so sorry for making you cry, it hurts me to see you this way. Ads, you are my best friend, it's okay if you hate me, I would hate me too. I do hate myself. You don't deserve this... I mean, me." Derek said to her. The last name was there again.

She kept herself calmed, she was feeling in home, she could feel Derek breathing, his heart beating slowly, his smell around her, she just decided to ignore for a minute and to concentrate on where she was and who she was with. Suddenly Meredith, Mark, surgeries, arguments... they were all disappearing from her thoughts, the stress was leaving her body.

She was finally resting with the man she truly loved, the man who she shared an endless chemistry.

"I forgive you." Addison said kinda sleepy, she pecked Derek's lips. She totally knew she was practically selling her soul to the devil by pronouncing those words... I forgive you. But she was in love once again with those charms, and also she could totally blame those drinks she had, she was even surprised of herself how she didn't killed herself while driving her car. "I love you." She mumbled and fell asleep in his arms.

Derek kissed her forehead and stoked her red hair. "Me too, Addie." He mumbled. She loved the way Derek used to have her a lot of nicknames... Addison, Ads, Addie, D, sunny. She even hesitated te forgiveness twice, but she was so in love with him, that her heart was talking, not her mind.

"McDreamy is back with Satan. Do you think she forgave him or...?" Cristina asked Meredith, She replied with an expression filled by hate. The happy couple was back. The Shepherds where now a thing... the thing. Meredith seemed annoyed, she was in love with the man.

It was lunch time and Addison was taking a sit next to Richard and Derek. "How are you two doing?" Webber asked. He also wanted to be filled by the gossip. Addison just smirked, Derek smiled at Addison and nodded.

"We're good" Addison replied for both. Derek for a moment could see Meredith in the room, he knew it was her even if he wasn't paying attention and she was moving. He realized he had to talk to her about choosing Addison over her. Now it was going to be... not so easy.

Derek hated to be the bad guy in every story. "Yes we are." Derek agreed. Addison got paged.

"Oh heck, it's the premature, I gotta go, bye honey." Addison said in a cute way, kissing Derek, waving goodbye to Webber, running away. Derek kept looking at her how she was running, that pony tail dancing while she was stressed and afraid for that baby. He was already finished so he also left. Sadly, Webber was now alone.

Back to work, Derek saw Meredith getting inside of an on-call room, probably looking for something, Derek followed her inside of the room. He closed the door behind his back, spotting Meredith speechless, not understanding what was going on.

"What are you doing, doctor Sheperd?" Meredith Said.

"We have to talk..." Derek said to her.

"No, theres nothing to discuss, you're with her now, you choose her." Meredith said, trying to move Derek somehow from the door so she could exit that uncomfortable position. 'You choose her'. That sounded just like Addison that night. Derek pushes himself away from the door and took Meredith by the shoulders to stop her from leaving.

"I did. I mean... no, no! I picked her first... I'm so sorry if..." Derek didn't find a perfect way to express himself.

"It's over, she's your wife, you love her, I understand." Meredith said; she just wanted to go and cry.

"Have you seen doctor Shepherd?" Addison asked a nurse, she pointed to the on-call room. Addison smiling slightly, just opened the door, thinking he was going to be sleeping or talking to Burke, knowing they both just went out of a surgery. Instead, she found her husband holding the other woman by the shoulders.

"Addison! Wow, you scared me." Derek said with a laugh.

"Course I did." Addison said in a mad tone, she started walking quickly by the corridor of the hospital, that little bridge, she walked far away from the Chief's office even.

"Gotta go" Derek said leaving Meredith there, he practically ran behind his wife, trying to catch her. "Addison! Come on!" Derek shouted. The nurses staring. She went into the ladies room, another fight. Another gossip to tell. "Addison!" He yelled.

"Go away." She said simply. She needed to think about what she just saw and she knew she was acting so bitchy and childish.

After work Addison waited for Derek outside the hospital, they both went silent inside of Derek's car. "What happened?" Addison said seriously, looking for an answer to why her husband and the intern where inside an on-call room. "Thank God I came in before you took her clothes off." Addison said to him.

He felt awful thinking now his wife was mad a him, he didn't want any more fights. "Addison you know I wasn't-" Derek was about to stand up for himself, until Addison started laughing loudly and funny. He started laughing now. "What's going on!?" Derek laughed.

"Don't worry... at least nothing happened, right?" Addison pointed. She had been thinking about it. She wanted to believe that Derek wasn't that jerk like cheating again.

"No, i was telling her I choose you." Derek said softly. Suddenly Addison was biting her lip. "You want me to go home?" Derek asked, knowing what that face meant.

"As soon as you can." His wife said in content. Addison felt that magical feeling she felt when she was on her wedding and on her first date with him.

As soon as they were home, Addison practically jumped on Derek, both kissing passionately, Derek opening the door, letting both of them get into the trailer. Derek was now without shirt, kissing Addison's neck against the wall next to the door. She was trying to catch her breath while Derek was moving her towards the bed, both jumped on it still kissing.

Derek's hands where 'dancing around', coming from her low back to her shoulders and then getting down her legs, Addison laughing between kisses. Her hands where around his neck at first, but then started helping Derek with his pants and his socks. Both in underwear, now under a blanket, making love.

Addison moaned Derek's name each time she was in pure pleasure, Derek was too much busy making love to her wife like moaning, he was showing her his affection, Addison was kissing his neck, pressing her nails on his back, enjoying. Addison felt like in the old times, when Derek wasn't so busy working in New York and the nights were only for them.

The darkness was the only one who took a testimony of the fun both had that night. Something Addison missed so much was him, just their bodies interacting. She missed the sex. For them, as doctors, it was much more than just playing, it was communication. Well... Mark's case was different, there was just sweating and pleasure in that case.

After a long night filled by action and love, also romance, the Sheperds wake up slowly, Addison in Derek's arms, resting her head on Derek's chest, one of his hands on Addison's hair. "Good morning..." said Derek smiling slightly at Addison, she kissed him and smiled at him.

"Good morning, you slept good?" She said happily. They both seemed happier, Derek moved himself, now reaching for a comfortable position to embrace Addison.

"I think none of us slept that much." He joked. It was Sunday, finally their only day off. He kissed her deeply as a new good morning ritual. She started playing with his hair.

"I love you." Addison said, stopping whatever she was doing, now she just had eyes for her husband, she looked at his hot good looking face with widen eyes, Derek just smiled and laughed, making her heart melt by his charms.

"I love you too, Addie." Said Derek, smiling at her. She loved him. She really did.

"Gosh please don't flirt with me, I'm starting to feel up to it." Addison said honestly. He just smiled again, flirting with her even more, now approaching his mouth near her ear. Derek was falling for her, again. All over again.

"I don't flirt with you." Mumbled Derek on her ear, with that sexy, masculine, hot voice. She practically melt, pulling him into a deep long kiss, he laughed. "It's our day off, do you want to keep flirting? Or do you have any plans?" Derek said to her playfully.

She laughed and caressed his arm. "I think I'm in the mood for your flirting today." She said playfully, kissing Derek again. "Derek..." Addison said. She wanted to ask him a lot of things, she was so into this new beginning between both.

"Yes?" She kept her mouth shut and kissed Derek softly on the lips, closing her eyes and letting her thoughts locked inside of her mind, not wanting to share her intentions. Derek smirked, she just wanted a kiss? She smiled at him, her two blue eyes looking at his eyes, for a minute, everything was silent, she could hear him breathing, the heat between their skins felt so familiar for both of them.

Derek felt his wife's soft hands on his chest, for a moment it was just them in the world, their eyes looking at each other, the feeling of their touch. Their skins touching felt so good, the embrace of each other... Suddenly some kind of fire, a heartwarming feeling filled Addison, the way of desire she looked at her husband was reckless.

He removed the hairs on Addison's face, so he could admire those eyes much better, but it made her not resist anymore, she didn't know why but she was trying not to kiss him, maybe it was a fun game to play. Her lips where now crashing with his, he admitted her lips into his, her hands going up and down, like a massage. How the hell are we so horny? Addison thought.

Derek's hands where on her neck at the first, moving down her back, until they decided to stop in her ass. She moved herself on top of him, still kissing romantically, she was crazy for him. He was crazy for her. When she could even think he wasn't in love with her, she realized how much love his heart was saving for her. The kiss kept going, soft, but fast, cute, but crazy. Wish this could never end. Addison thought.

"You seem happy." Callie said to Addison, she managed to smirk at her friend, she just nodded and smirked again.

"Derek and I are working things out, and I think it's going so good." Addison said simply.

Callie smiled. "I'm so happy to hear that, I can guess you're getting laid by the expression on your face." Callie told Addison.

Addison giggled; "We are!" She was now playing with her hair; Callie was just looking at her happy face. Addison's face turned into disgust for a moment, Callie looked at her worried.

"What's wrong?" Callie asked.

"I just..." Addison wanted to tell her best friend about her ideas and thoughts, but she wasn't going to, or she didn't want to.

"Addison, what's going with on?" Callie caressed her arm smiling at her.

"I've been thinking about it and I want a family." Addison shared, Callie didn't understand what she meant, a family or a kid? She questioned.

"Oh, you want kids?!" Callie said finally, she just wanted to ask her to make sure she was thinking the right thing.

"I do. Yesterday I tried to tell Derek and I couldn't... instead of that-" Addison said being cut off by Callie.

"You Had sex again." Callie finished her sentence. Addie nodded, Callie nodded back and caressed her arm to calm her down, she knew that for Addison it was difficult all this stuff, knowing her marriage went wrong several times in the past.

"Derek has always want children, but maybe it's not my chance, our chance to try." Addison said.

Callie looked speechless. "What? No. Addison, you should tell him, we are doctors, you will not have that much time in the future... well we never have time" she laughed. "This is the perfect time! You are young, beautiful and; both found each other again." Callie reflected out loud. Addison nodded and smiled at her friend.

"Derek genes and yours, oof, that would create the hottest baby ever." Callie joked to make Addison feel better, she laughed, both laughed.

"You're right."

Addison got paged 911; she ran towards the emergency room, intern O'Malley filled her with the details, the mother was having seizures and they were worried about the 8 month pregnancy child inside of her. They thought she could have epileptic attacks, considering her family had epilepsy.

The baby was having pressure problems. Addison had to perform a c-section as soon as she could. Another beautiful day to save lives. She saved mom and daughter and she was so proud. The kid had to stay on watch.

"Doctor Sheperd, when Can I see my baby? I haven't even hold her yet." The woman asked, she seemed scared and stressed.

"Don't worry, you will soon. For the moment we are watching your daughter in case there's something else going on with her." Addison explained the woman. Callie entered the room.

"Addie, we need you over here; it's just a consult." Callie told Addison. Addison smiled at her patient and left the room respectfully. Callie and Addison walked into the room next to the one they just went out of.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Montgomery-Sheperd." Addison introduced herself. The patient waved her hello, Addison smiled at the woman in the bed.

"Allie came because of some pain on her knee at the first but she also told me she hasn't been feeling the baby in a while today, so I thought you could check her in case i am wrong; also I have a surgery to perform, see you guys later!" Callie explained Addison, and then left the room smiling at the patients.

Derek was operating a brain tumor, it was huge and very difficult to operate; the woman that was on the table was pregnant and Derek wanted his wife to be there just in case something could happen during the surgery.

Addison entered the room. "You said you wanted to see me, doctor Sheperd?" Addison said, very professionally.

Derek smirked, "I am your husband, you can call me Derek." He laughed. "I called you to watch the baby while I operate If there's any problem; Stevens got paged." He got back on what he was doing, Addison sat there.

"Everything seems okay here." She said checking the baby. "Are you sure you didn't page me just to see me?" Addison said playfully. He just winked at her and kept doing his job.

Derek looked at her wondering what was going on with her, she was kind of sad, she seemed too tired. "Is everything okay, Addie?" Derek got soft. Addison nodded and didn't pay that much attention.

"Not really." She admitted.

"Why? Bad day? Too much silly interns bothering?" Derek asked. Addison smirked falsely. After surgery Addison walked away quickly, Derek followed her, she went into an on-call room. "Addie, are you okay?"

Addison was resting her face on her hands, she couldn't look at Derek, she was so stressed, tired, and she was so sad thinking maybe Derek didn't want kids, her interns where stupid and silly, the memories of Derek being a bitch were haunting her hardly, Her patient was also so rude, and she was trying her best on helping their baby. For a moment she just fell down and needed to cry her anger out.

"Bad day?" Derek asked, sitting next to his wife, patting her back and kissing her temple.

She nodded; "Bad day." Derek hugged her.

"What happened?" He asked.

She looked into his husband's eyes and just said; "I delivered two babies today." Addison said simply.

"Oh, now I completely understand your pain." Derek played. She rolled her eyes.

"One of them will have to be here for two months or so because something is wrong with his heart and they blame me for everything... and..." Addison wanted to tell him, she just wanted to beg him for a kid and cry on his shoulder of happiness.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault. You did what you could." Derek said to her. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, she squeezed his hand.

She could remember Allie yelling at her, it wasn't her fault.

"Derek..." Addison started. Derek looked down at her, she just left a tear run down her cheek and didn't say anything.

"What's wrong? Addison you are scaring me." Derek said, smirking, almost like it was a joke.

"I... I love you." She didn't say it. Derek kisses her forehead and then pecked her lips, he stroked her hair; she smiled.

For a moment she felt okay. "I love you! It's late; wanna go to Joe's?" Derek invited his very own wife.

"I prefer to go home and watch some good romantic movie to cry myself to sleep." Addison joked, but she did want to go home and have a good rest; knowing she had lots of surgeries at the next day.

"Okay then I'll go home with you." Derek told her. "No, no, go to Joe's, have fun with Preston and Webber, or whoever will be there, just, go." Addison said honestly.

Derek looked at her in a weird way. "Addison... why do you want the trailer for yourself?" He said standing up, he looked at her wondering what was going on, with a mad expression.

"What? Do you think I'm cheating again?" Addison laughed at that, knowing she wasn't.

"That could explain why Mark called you the other night." Derek said; Addison looked at him with an angry expression.

"He called!? How do you know that?" Addison said standing up from the bed she was sitting in. She was furious.

"He called the other night when you were asleep." Derek said. Addison looked at him confused.

"What were you doing with my phone?!"

"Like if you never ever checked mine." Derek said to her.

Addison was so offended. "I did, years ago! And that was another version of me! I could never do that to you, I trust you, at least I did."

Addison said sadly, he just replied with more hate; "I trusted you too, then you cheated." Derek said.

"Come on you can't play that game with me! You also cheated, and you were leaving me. Don't play the I'm the victim game with me, Derek." Addison said.

"You aren't the victim either!" He said. There was no victim.

"Why do you even bother on answering my phone?!" Addison snapped; she almost yelled at him. The nurses and surgeons outside where confused.

"I am your husband! I can do that." Derek yelled. Addison couldn't believe what he was saying.

"So if I am your wife I can also check your phone and answer Grey's texts while you sleep?" Addison said sarcastically.

"She doesn't text me. Not anymore." Derek replied to her comment.

"Well, I did not know that because I don't check your phone like you do." Addison said, now she was leaving the room quickly, Derek realized she was right, again. What was going on with him? Am I jealous? Derek came out of the on-call room, pissed and disappointed. He walked away from that corridor; he received a text from Addison;

Hey, it's Addison;

I need my space.

I will stay in a hotel,

Don't call me.

He loved how she added her name to texts even when it appears who's sending it. Derek knew he screwed it up, they were so happy together lately, and it was so much fun having each other's company. Addison was now not being home, just when Derek wanted her near him. His wife was probably going to buy gallons of coffee ice cream and watch 'breakfast at Tiffany's'. He knew her so well.

He just hoped she wasn't going to commit any mistakes she would regret later. Derek left the hospital that night, entered the bar and found Meredith Grey alone in the bar; he thought about being her company, but rapidly he changed his mind, with the thought of the love of his life. He decided to go home and rest, he didn't need a drink, even if he missed Addison's feet playing with his while trying to fall asleep.

Addison took a cab to the nearest supermarket, bought ice cream and five different brand pregnancy tests; she was depressed and wanted to get fat and she wanted to cry a lot. She had a fight with her husband and a crappy day. She then went to a hotel, knowing she was just going to be lazy and to do stuff teenagers with broken hearts would probably do.

Already in her room, wearing the bathroom robe took the ice cream and started eating while watching tv shows; she couldn't find anything good. Her phone beeped.

Addison,

Please let me know if you are okay,

I care about you.

"Of Course you do." She said sarcastically; felt like going to the bathroom and trying those pregnancy tests just for fun, knowing she wasn't expecting any child. But still the illusion of having one was there. Sometimes she wished she could go back in time and never have ever slept with Mark Sloan. Well, she wished that all the time, not just sometimes. It was painful when the fact they had an affair always came back to kick her in the ass.

She couldn't believe Derek was checking her phone. She even laughed at her own thoughts and acted surprised to herself; knowing she wasn't even drunk. Instantly, she started crying. The tears were waterfalls coming out of her eyes.

Negative. Negative. Negative and negative. She wasn't pregnant and her hopes where totally screwed. She wanted old Derek back, funny Derek... the McDreamy Derek she fell for once, the one she married, not the jealous bitch checking her phone.

I am safe.

Good night, Derek.

"Even her texts are cold." Derek mumbled to himself. At least she said good night. He thought. He was worried about his wife; maybe she was a woman that knew how to take care of herself, but for him she was still the stubborn girl who just wanted to learn how to play a guitar, and liked to dance on the beach. He missed New York some times; his family was there. He started thinking about everything he left by deciding to move to Seattle.

His wife; his friends; his family. That shocked him, he left his family behind, and just decided to start all over again. Addison wasn't right, neither was he, no one was right and they were both pissing each other off, they were both hurting. Do we even need answers? Or questions?! We keep hurting by trying to find an explanation to all the arguing. Derek thought to himself.

Derek couldn't sleep and he had three brain surgeries the next day. Addison was the only thing, well, person; he could think about. He didn't want to let go.

He smiled at the thought of her.

/ author's note: sorry if my English is too trashy or if I repeat too much some words, also sorry because I think I wrote "sheperd" instead of "Shepherd".