Forgive Me

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. The character's aren't mine, they belong to George Lucas I just like to play with them.

Song: Forgive Me by Evanescence

He'd left her again. He had said he'd never leave her, but then he was gone. Jaina sat in her room watching the darkness of space. Nothing seemed real anymore. She couldn't get her mind off of him. He had been gone for close to six months. Their last encounter hadn't been the most friendly. Actually to be perfectly honest she had wanted to rip off his head. A single crystal tear escaped her eye and wound down her face, leaving a glistening trail in its wake. As she closed her eyes and turned from the view port window her mind traveled back to the last time she had seen him.

/Flashback/

"Zekk?" Jaina had just stepped into the hanger to find her best friend packing his ship The Lightning Rod. "What are you doing?" She asked even though she already knew the answer. He was leaving her again.

Zekk grimaced as he heard her speak. He had hoped to be able to get away without seeing her. She didn't know what she did to him, couldn't know what she did to him, every time he saw her. "Jaina, you shouldn't be here."

"Why not Zekk? Why are you leaving? You promised that you wouldn't ever leave me again!" Jaina shrieked as she moved closer. Tears were beginning to sting at her eyes.

"Jaina, times change. The war has changed all of us." Zekk was trying so hard not to look into her whiskey brown eyes. Those liquid brown eyes just saw straight through to his soul. If he looked into them now he knew he would never leave.

"What about us Zekk? Have we changed?"

"Yes Jaina, we've changed."

"Then what are we Zekk? I know I can't live without you anymore." Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears. Tears that she was desperately trying to hide.

"Jaina, don't do this to me. I have to leave. I can't explain to you why I just do. I can't live without you either Jay. I love you." Zekk leaned down to kiss Jaina, but she pulled away. Her eyes no longer held that inner fire that always had burned brightly there. The war was taking more of a toll on her then he had thought.

"No, if you loved me you wouldn't be leaving." She stroked his cheek, then brought her hand to her mouth as though thinking, closed her eyes, shook her head and walked out.

/End Flashback/

Another glassy tear fell down her cheek. She had hated doing that. She had run back to her room after that in tears. In truth she knew that she loved Zekk more deeply than anyone else. She also knew that she didn't want her heart broken anymore, she'd have to learn to live without him.

Can you forgive me?

I don't know what I said

But I didn't mean to hurt you

Zekk sat staring at the picture of Jaina Solo he had next to his bed aboard The Lightning Rod. The pain was still fresh in his mind from leaving Jaina. It had killed him, leaving her like that. When she turned away his heart had broken. He loved her more than he knew. But, after breaking her heart so many times it must have hardened. It was obvious to him that he didn't deserve her. She deserved more than he could ever give her.

He had left on a top secret mission for the Jedi. He couldn't tell her where he was going because then she'd be a target. He'd gone to disarm the newest bio-weapon the Vong had cooked up. Over the years it had become almost routine for a Jedi to have to go out and disarm a new Vong weapon. Thanks to Jacen's link to Vong life all the Jedi were now able to sense the Vong. Since that point the war had begun to turn in the favor of the Galactic Alliance.

Finally after six months he was going back. That's when the rock hit his stomach. Going back would mean seeing Jaina. If she didn't have feelings for him he'd have to get over her, or die trying.

I heard the wards come out

I felt like I would die

It hurt so much to hurt you

Zekk, after six months, Zekk had come back. She'd seen him once and seeing those electric green eyes again had stirred up feelings that she had thought dead long ago. She had been trying to avoid him, but when two people have the same hobbies, interests, live on the same ship and are destined to be together it becomes increasingly more difficult to avoid them. She knew sooner or later she would have to face him. It was stupid to run the way she was. Yet somehow she couldn't help running. She was afraid of what Zekk would say when he learned that she still loved him. She'd have to confront him now before her nerve failed her again.

At 0215 Jaina walked down toward Zekk's room. She knocked on the door and was about to walk away when Zekk, clothed in nothing more than sleep pants answered.

"What the… Jaina? What do you want from me at 2:15 in the morning? " Zekk asked, annoyed at being woken up and confused as to what Jaina could possibly want from him at this hour. Zekk just went back into his room and sat on the bed, holding his temples.

"Just to talk, it's been so long since I saw you last." Jaina replied, as she walked into Zekk's room.

"Liar," Zekk, whispered through gritted teeth, "You saw me in the mess hall this afternoon and as soon as our eyes met you ran in the other direction!" Zekk retorted.

"I'm sorry about that, I had…military stuff to take care of." It wasn't exactly a lie, she had had military things to take care of.

"Don't lie Jaina, it's not becoming of you. Now what do you want?" Zekk asked again his patience was running thin.

"Just to talk," Jaina said again, as she shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably. "To find out what you've been up to…." Jaina was cut off by Zekk shouting and jumping to his feet.

"Jay, you know I can't tell you. It's classified! I would be putting your life at risk and I can't do that!"

"Also to tell you I love you." Jaina whispered, her voice was barely audible above Zekk's tirade. Zekk stopped in mid-tirade and just looked at Jaina.

"Oh," Zekk said.

Then you look at me

You're not yelling anymore

You're silently broken

"Oh," was all Zekk could manage to say. He really hadn't expected her to say that to him after their last good-bye. "You do?"

"Of course I do!" Jaina walked over to Zekk's shocked form, put her arms around him and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Wow," Zekk managed to get out.

I'd give anything now

To hear those words again

"After, you stalked out of the hanger six months ago, I thought you hated me," Zekk admitted. " I guess I was wrong."

"Not entirely, when you left I felt betrayed. You had promised never to leave and then you left without an explanation." Jaina sighed, this wasn't what she had planned on talking about.

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."

But somehow I know that you will never leave me.

"It's just that each time you leave I feel as though you're leaving me forever," Jaina's voice was cracking and she couldn't help it. Zekk pulled Jaina closer to him in a tight hug. Jaina hugged him back with equal force as if afraid that if she let go she'd lose him.

"I'll never leave you Jaina. After all we've been through I know that your made for me and I'm made for you." Zekk said trying to calm her nerves. Then he kissed her temple.

"I love you Zekk," Jaina said again into his chest.

"I love you too Jay, I always have." Zekk kissed Jaina again.

Cause you were made for me

Somehow I'll make you see

How happy you make me.

Jaina returned his kiss. It felt so right to be in his arms again. She felt more at peace now then she had since before he had left. The separated and Jaina began to softly sing a song she had learned at the beginning of the war.

"I can't live this life

Without you by my side

I need you to survive." To Jaina's shock Zekk took the next few lines. His baritone voice whispered in her ear.

"So stay with me

You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry," Jaina joined Zekk in the final few words of the song.

"And you forgive me again

You're my one true friend

And I never meant to hurt you." The symbolism in those words hit Jaina like a tone of duristeel. Those words could easily represent Zekk and her relationship. No matter what happened they always forgave each other.

"When did you learn that song? I thought I was the only one who knew it." Zekk asked Jaina.

"I've known it for awhile. I heard my mom singing it when my dad left after Chewie died." Jaina answered. Zekk just smiled.

"I'll never leave you Jay. I can't bear a moment without you. Jaina Solo, will you marry me?" The words were so soft that Jaina had thought that she had imagined them, but looking into Zekk's face assured her that he had indeed proposed.

"Yes Zekk, I'll marry you." Zekk picked Jaina up and spun her around. Putting her back on her feel he kissed her.

"I'll never leave you Jaina Solo."

"I know you won't because now you won't be able to leave me behind." Jaina smiled.

Zekk could only laugh as he pulled her into another kiss.