A/N: After enjoying MrsPencil's SH pieces so much, including her Moor Verse and Sound and Motion series, I decided to have a little fun trying my hand at converting The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle to verse in time for the holidays. Based more on the Granada version. Hope you enjoy! :)
Blue Christmas
~o~
Twas the season of Christmas
And things were not well
With the Countess of Morcar
At the Cosmopolitan Hotel
~o~
It seemed that the grate
Suffered deterioration
And John Horner was called
To achieve restoration
~o~
He said not a word
But went straight to his work
Not knowing what fate for him
Shortly did lurk
~o~
A small job to do
He sorted it all out
Til Cusack the maid
Exclaimed with a shout
~o~
The Countess is back!
She said with some dread
If she finds you still here
Then it'll mean my head
~o~
So Ryder the attendant
And Cusack the maid
Sent Horner out the door
Assuring he'd be paid
~o~
A scream pierced the room
And the halls of the hotel
Things at the old Cosmo'
Were still quite unwell
~o~
The Countess was missing
Her precious blue stone
That Horner had taken it
Seemed already known
~o~
And so Scotland Yard
Sent Inspector Bradstreet
To wrap up the case
All tidy and neat.
~o~
On the day before Christmas
I returned to my flat
Where Holmes lounged staring
At a battered old hat
~o~
I supposed that poor thing
Told of something quite criminal
Not at all, said Holmes
Just an incident whimsical
~o~
It seems that Peterson
The good Commissionaire
Ended up with the hat
After quite an affair
~o~
While on his way home
From a bit of celebration
He encountered a drunk
Enduring molestation
~o~
Some ruffians harassed him
Knocked the hat from his head
He raised his stick in defense
And broke a window instead
~o~
Peterson tried intervening
Alas to no avail
His uniform had told them
That they might go to jail
~o~
The roughs all took off
Up Tottenham Court Road
The drunk bolted too
Abandoning his load
~o~
A goose, what a bird!
Quite the Christmas feast maker
A tag on its leg read:
For Mrs. Henry Baker
~o~
So Peterson brought me
The hat and the bird
Knowing odd problems
To be my preferred
~o~
The goose I sent with him
To grace his own table
From the hat, I deduced
As best I was able
~o~
I see nothing here, Holmes
I said to my friend
From what I observe
We're at a dead end
~o~
Not at all, my dear fellow
Holmes said with a grin
There is much to be learned
If one knows where to begin
~o~
Henry Baker is a man
Of learning and sagacity
Simple to deduce
From sheer cubic capacity
~o~
His wife does not love him
She doesn't brush his hat
He has gone down in the world
The older style tells us that
~o~
A man who is graying
And uses lime-cream
He's been to the barber
It's all here at the seam
~o~
A broken elastic
His foresight now wanes
His dignity he keeps
With ink to hide stains
~o~
One final thing
My companion did quip
There's no gas at his house
For only candles will drip
~o~
I admitted it interesting
And also quite clever
But of what use, I asked
Is this mental endeavor?
~o~
Just then Peterson
Came in at a rush
He was flummoxed and winded
His face all a-flush
~o~
The goose, Mr. Holmes!
Near the door he did stop
You never will guess
What was in that bird's crop!
~o~
The biggest gem I've seen
Or I'm a monkey's uncle
No mere gem, replied Holmes
It's the Blue Carbuncle!
~o~
To be continued...