"You want to use my washing machine."
"Yes."
"You have an entire cosmos of washing machines to choose from and you want to use mine?"
"Yes."
"..."
"..."
"This way."
"..."
"It's your own fault, you know. Velvet always attracts dust, and far from looking intimitidating in all that black, you simply look mildly dirty. You ought to try another colour. Blue or green. Magenta, perhaps."
"I could do without fashion tips from you, Doctor. This current body of yours seems to possess even less sartorial sense then your second self, if possible."
"You could always get it cleaned on Earth. They have places there for that sort of thing."
"The problem with humanity, Doctor, is that they always want to complicate matters. 'Free will' this, 'Equalitarianism' that, 'Save the whales' there,'Wash two items for three credits less' here. No wonder they're always on the brink of extinction."
"You're the one constantly trying to take over their planet. You must like something about them."
"Doctor, the only reason I bother with that tiresome little planet is to get your attention. You must have noticed I don't try terribly hard to decimate them. Well, not really."
"How very flattering."
"It is. You'd save yourself and that idiotic planet of yours a great deal of trouble if you simply succumbed to my charms."
"What charms?"
"Oh, very funny."
"What I don't understand-"
"You admit you've failed to understand something?"
"Don't interrupt. What I don't understand is why you persist in following me around the universe like a neglected puppy. Why don't you just go home and find a nice Time Lady to settle down with? Rodan might be interested."
"After what happened with the Rani? No, Doctor. I'm not interested in being the subject of an experiment, either biological or sociological."
"You could always try the Capitol Guard. I'm sure Andred would be happy to give you a few names."
"I'm not interested."
"Well, couldn't you just-"
"Doctor, there's only a finite number of ways I can express this. I want to have a relationship with you. I want to be your significant other, your partner, your-"
"Then why, exactly, do you persist in trying to kill me?"
"Isn't that obvious?"
"Evidently not."
"U.S.T."
"What?"
"Unresolved Sexual Tension."
"..."
"..."
"So all those times you pointed that Tissue Compression Eliminator at me it was really..."
"A Freudian expression of my love for you."
"..."
"So. How about it?"
"I...I don't think I'm ready for a long-term relationship."
"Well, can't we just have meaningless sex and go from there?"
"That's...very modern of you."
"I've been spending too much time on that irritating planet. It's your fault."
"..."
"..."
"Just one night?"
"Yes."
"And then you'll leave Earth alone."
"For two centuries."
"Promise?"
"Doctor, have I ever lied to you?"
"Yes."
"Well, this'll be the exception."
"..."
"..."
"Oh, alright, then."
And then they done sex.