"Happy birthday, me."
A soft smile touched my features as I watched the flickering light provided by the lit candle. For some reason, the little flame brought me a sense of comfort. I blew out the candle, another year of life having been lived to the fullest. Pushing my glasses on my face, I looked up at the pale reflection in the mirror, brown hair a tousled mess and similarly colored eyes wearily staring back at me. Odd. I certainly did not feel any older. If anything, I felt little more than exhaustion from having dedicated all my focus and energy into the tasks I was given over the last several days. Nothing had changed within this one day, and I was still the same person as I had been the day before.
Sure, my entire way of life had changed within just this year alone. Two people dear to my heart were gone forever, never to return. Their deaths still weighed heavily upon my mind, and I would oftentimes find myself thinking back to that day of the Chūnin exams, wondering if there was anything I could have done to save them from the cold, cruel hands of death. I wish you were both here with me, I thought silently, sorely missing my teammates. Hiryur's relaxed smile and Denji's easygoing laughter had always managed to bring a joyous grin to my face, no matter the circumstances of life. I hoped that, wherever they were in what exists of an afterlife, that they were happy there and watching over me. I had not been to my home, Getsugakure in the Land of Moon, ever since that fateful day. My life had taken a different turn from staying a Getsugakure kunoichi, one that did not allow me such longings and reminiscings of home. This was just another day waiting for completion.
Sighing, I forced myself out of the bed, covering my mouth as I yawned in exhaustion. I had once again been up until the late hours of the night, training to perfect myself and become a more efficient weapon. It was not the first time I had done so, and it certainly would not be the last, not if I wanted to continue to remain useful. Exhaustion was little more than a minor nuisance. I shook my head to clear my mind. Now is not the time to let any of your fatigue show, Kokami.
As I made my preparations for the day, I granted my mind permission to ponder over what this day could have been like had nothing changed. Hiryur would have woken me up, grinning from ear to ear as he wished me a happy birthday. My aunt and uncle, his parents, would have been downstairs waiting for the both of us, a wonderful breakfast waiting for me. We would have eaten, gleefully sharing memories of the year, as Denji came running in, having overslept once again and just barely arriving to have some food as well. My aunt would have laughed and handed him a plate filled with food, having been prepared for his inevitable lateness. The day would be spent together, as we always did on such occasions. I could not help but wonder what my aunt and uncle were doing now. Not only had they lost their son, but they had lost a niece too. Did they believe I was dead too? I hoped so, because I was sure the truth would have hurt them worse. The Kokami I had been was dead, anyways; replaced with a living weapon. It was best if the situation remained this way, in the long run. The less they knew, the better. My deeds since my "death" were better off remaining hidden.
I stared in the mirror once again, readjusting my glasses before tying my precious forehead protector securely around my head. A little color had returned to my skin, and I no longer looked like I had just woken up from a restless sleep. I forced a slight smile, a smile that only lasted for a second before being replaced with a somber expression. Was this truly what I wanted? Never had I questioned the path destiny paved for me until now. I had been accepting of whatever life decided, along with the opportunities I was given. This life had offered me more than staying a Getsugakure kunoichi ever would have. Power beyond my wildest ambitions was mine to draw upon as it became a necessity. More importantly, my life had been granted a purpose. So why was I thinking in such a manner as this? I should have been grateful for everything I had been given thus far, and I was on the surface. However, was I truly satisfied with what I was doing with my life and the actions I had taken to serve my role as a weapon to be wielded to her master's bidding? Yes. I am content. Otherwise, why would I still be remaining here? I had chosen this life, and I would stay committed to my decision until the end of my days, however long that may have been. Something as foolish as a birthday should not keep me from my goals. I took one final look in the mirror, fixing my glasses before leaving my room.
I wandered down the dimly lit hallways, no set destination in mind. For some reason, I felt at home in this place despite what others might perceive as an unnerving atmosphere. I randomly entered a room, a genuine smile forming upon seeing the two people my life was devoted to, their desires having become my own as I strove to make them a reality. I kneeled before them. I knew I would not be able to hide the blush that would creep on my face if I stared at the one, so I instead focused my gaze on the golden, snakelike eyes of the raven haired man who had given my life a meaning. "Good morning, Lord Orochimaru and Kabuto."
Happy birthday, me.
Today is my birthday, so I thought why not write a short oneshot to celebrate? Kokami Ryuujin is an OC of mine, the first I made for the Narutoverse. She originally started off as purely a self-insert, but she has evolved into something more since her creation five months ago. Her birthday did remain the same as mine, which is convenient for this. I do plan on writing more with her one of these days, but for now this will have to do.
Admittedly, some of this is also me kind of letting off a bit of steam. After all, having gone from high school to college life is a drastic change, and it has been quite an experience.