FRAGMENTS: VEGTEA TO KAKKAROT
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We are alike, you and I…
In an odd sort of way…
We are the last of a dieing race…
You and I…
We are dark complexioned, you and I…
Very characteristic of Saiyajins…
We are fighters, you and I…
Warriors in fact…
We share similar nobility and honor…
Though mine runs deep and tainted…
We are powerful. We are Saiyajin…
Though you've tried to deny it
many times
You cannot
You simply cannot
Though we grasp a common link, we are
different you and I…
So do not fret over our similarities…
You are pure. Your light shines all the way through…
Everyone sees it…
And clings to it…
(like moths cling to light)
I am impure. I am dark. It shows…
Everyone knows…
I repel…
I am evil. I am a beast created by a monster.
My roots sink deeply
and cannot be severed…
I am bad.
You are pure, as a crystal in fact…
What luck you had to land on Earth…
Eternally happy…
The perfect life…
A family….
With caring and love…
I never had…
You do not lose because
You simply won't.
I can. I do. I have. I will.
You can smile
with such ease
How?
Is there some secret to it?
You are good.
But untouchably good…
And I am a dark, corrupted demon…
That everybody is afraid of...
We are different, you see…
I am jealous
of you…
I envy you greatly…
Your family…
Your power…
Your will…
Your luck…
Your friends…
Your happiness…
Your height…
Your looks…
Your childhood…
Your smile…
Why do you have
Everything?
I have nothing.
Nothing, Kakkarot!
Everything I could have had
And should have had
was sucked up by a
treacherous leech!
Whom you wouldn't even let me kill!
Now I am at unrest
for I want to murder it
to make it pay!
To make it pay for
Killing my people…
Killing my family..
Making my race extinct….
Dooming the Saiyajins…
Killing my hope…
Corrupting me to what I am now….
…chopping my pride to bits with machete blades…
He imprisoned me…
In a world of madness…
He made me a monster…
And now I am no better
…than he…
I clung to pride
to stay alive…
But you wouldn't understand.
At least you try…
I suppose
You have not the slightest
idea…
what it means to be
desperate.
Crawling through a field of blood…
With indescribable pain….
Killing…
to…
stay…
Alive…
…dangling on the verge of despair….
Nothing to fight for…
except the calls and screams of
your suffering people….
Whom reach out to you
and haunt you at night
Pushing you…
…to take revenge…
Pride was all that remained of me
afterwards….
And even at that,
one could hardly call it 'pride'…
Perhaps 'illusion of will'
would suit it better….
or 'excuse for dark honor'…
I remember
horrible
things…
that I wish I'd
forget.
But how can I when I'm
haunted?!?
I remember
At age seven
Having to rip an
unborn child
from its mother's
womb
and tossing its bloodied
remains
on its father…
So…
What
are your thoughts of me now?
Hate?
As usual?
You couldn't even begin
to imagine
what I've done…
If you knew at all…
you'd HATE me
with a passion…
Just as your friends do…
(and they do, although they try to hide it…)
I am mad.
I am insane.
Yes.
Why?
Why me?
I feel so strange here
On Earth…
Where I don't belong…
total stranger…
Alone.
I'm used to it.
I've been on my own..
since I was
five years old…
Kakkarot.
Sometimes I wonder.
What's it like to be you?
You probably
don't even
know.
You have
more than you
realize.
One thing.
I wonder,
If you have ever felt
Guilt
as I have?
Maybe once or twice,
But you
Forgot…
You idiot.
Sometimes I wish
I was ignorant
Of the ways of the world…
I knew what sex was at
Age four…
My first real kill came at
Age three…
I am tainted
With the blood of
COUNTLESS
Men, women, and
children.
By the way,
Did you know that
Freezer found it hilarious
For one child
To kill another?
And I was a child when Freezer took me
away…
But within a few weeks of
being in my new home,
I was no longer
a child.
I was forced to grow up.
In fact,
Freezer ripped the roundness of fat from my
'Baby-like cheeks'
to get a point across.
'Don't be cute'
he said…
But you wouldn't understand….
Nobody would
unless they went through it…
But then,
most wouldn't
Survive.
Can you feel real pain, Kakkarot?
The kind that sears through
Your mind like a
Blade?
Anger?
Fear?
Guilt?
How about Rage?
Real self-guilt?
Worthlessness?
Futility?
Maybe…
Perhaps, you've felt something
Similar..
Such as when your friends died…
But
it
doesn't
come close to the
Real thing.
(Trust me, you have no idea..)
Just once
I wish someone
Could understand…
But I wouldn't want to wish such discomfort on others!
(I laugh as I write this.)
I laugh like a maniac, don't I?
Just a little something I
Learned to do in early days….
You will understand.
Your dumb kid might understand
a little.
I'm glad you try.
You couldn't ever possess evil, Kakkarot.
No.
Even coming close
to it
in its weakest form
would cause you to wilt
as I have…
Stupid you!
You're better than me!
ME!
Perhaps that is why
my dreams were
ripped from
my soul and given
to you
to fulfill
You are good and I am not.
Is it my punishment?
I wonder though,
If our roles were switched, and atmospheres switched…
If I were in your place, and
You in mine
Would I be like you,
And you like me?
Perhaps.
Maybe then, you would comprehend me better…
I am lonely
I am evil
I am a shell; an empty husk
of a former child…….
that is lost to eternity……...
Fighting…
You love to fight.
Me too. I once loved it, anyway…
But then, it
merely became
a way of life.
And training was no longer
a fun game,
but a stress relief
to inflict pain
upon myself…
I hate fighting, but I love it…
It's a necessity…
for me
to live.
You love it with the childlike
Wonder which
Saiyajins are supposed to.
Nevertheless, we
both love to
fight.
You don't under stand me
But you try….
We are the same
You and I…
-Vegeta
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AUTHOR'S
NOTES: I own nothing, but my opinion.
This was a letter of Vegeta's fragmented thoughts to
Goku. Do you like my "fragmented" format?
Would you like to see "fragments" of other
characters?