After the Fall – Chapter I

"And I don't know where to look,

My words just break and melt.

Please just save me from this darkness,

Please just save me from this darkness."

……

As surgeons we keep things from our patients. We agree to Doctor/Patient confidentiality, but we do not express to anyone out doubts, our fears, our hesitation. In order to keep the façade of our professionalism we must remain silent. We keep all our thoughts inside us, secrets we can never tell. But inside they grow and darken, filling our insides with doubt, so we are left alone, drowning in our own thoughts.

….

Derek shut the door of the ambulance and looked around the scene of destruction. Where was Meredith? The words of Bailey hanging in his mind. Ignoring the chaos around him Derek charged through the fray, looking from side to side for the light brown hair of Meredith.

Suddenly a flicker of blonde hair caught his eye. Pushing past a fireman Derek grabbed the hand of the little girl with ponytails as she walked absentmindedly passed him. Derek bent down as the little girl looked at him shocked.

"Hey there." Derek tried to say calmly as the anxiety began to tighten his stomach. "What happened to the woman you where with, Meredith?"

The girl was silent, and simply continued to look at Derek.

"Did you lose her?" Derek tried again.

She shook her head.

"Look," Derek tried to say as calmly as possible. "Where exactly is Meredith?"

The girl looked at Derek for a second then lifted up her hand and pointed to the pier. Derek stood up and held onto the girl's hand, moving towards the direction pointed. As he passed the crowd he suddenly saw a man laying on the ground, shivering as his leg was torn open. But he had a jacket on. A medical jacket.

Rushing past the crowd Derek ran up to the man and crouched down, picking up the jacket. Something hard brushed passed his hand, picking it up he saw it was an id card attached to the front of the jacket. Meredith's id card.

There was a poke of his arm. Derek looked around to see the little girl now pointing over the pier, into the water.

Derek's face fell.

Without realising what he was doing he tore off his jacket and dived into the cool, blue water below.

His ears popped and his head became light as it felt the pressure as Derek frantincally pushed himself deeper and deeper into the water. Blowing out the air with his nose, he opened up his eyes to the cold water and looked for any sign of Meredith.

Suddenly there was no air left. He felt his lungs begin to crush under the weight of emptiness, his head began to swim. With no more strength to give Derek thrust out his hand in vain.

It touched something.

Feeling for the hand Derek grabbed onto Meredith and pulled her upwards as he swam to air. Breathing in a gulp of water in vain Derek reached the surface.

"Help!" He gave a broken shout as he spattered out water and grabbed onto one of the fallen pieces of wood which floated on the surface, pulling Meredith onto it.

"Help!" He cried again.

Suddenly a head popped over the pier. It disappeared for a second then three other heads looked over. A lasu belt was thrown into the water and Derek wrapped it around him and Meredith as it started to get pulled and lifted them up out of the water. As they reached the pier Derek rolled Meredith onto the ground then quickly climbed up onto the pier.

"She has a weak pulse." Somebody said as they checked Meredith.

Derek quickly rused over to her and pressed her chest, once, twice, then breathed into her mouth. One of the men brushed him aside.

"You got no air to give, go rest." The man said quickly as he brought Derek back and began to press her chest.

Derek began to shiver from the cold but did not notice, his eyes fixed on Meredith as she lay on the pier, the others around her trying in vain to ressusatate her.

Suddenly the man looked up as he checked her mouth.

"She's breathing."

Derek felt as though he was about to collapse. Suddenly a group ran up with a gurney and pressed it down onto the ground, lifting her onto it then placing her oxygen mask over her mouth.

"Where are you taking her?" Derek asked frantically as he noticed what was happening.

"She needs to go to Seattle Grace." The paramedic turned around to him. "You coming?"

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NB: I know, I know, I just really needed to write this story. Next chapter will up real soon.