Title: If I could have one wish
Author: Heavenly Desire
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own any, and don't claim to. Implied M/M slash, song used without permission.
Characters: Paul Levesque, Chris Jericho, and the mention of Shawn Michaels.
Summary: Hunter begins to think about the way things used to be.
Soundtrack: Far Away by Nickelback
A tall muscular built man stood in front of his window. It had been almost a year, and he could still smell his lover's cologne. He could still taste his skin on his lips, that sweet and salty taste of his skin. It was enough to make him close his eyes, and try to shut out whatever memories it was going to bring him this time. The memories he's been trying so hard to forget, but none the less keep coming back to him.
He knew if he didn't do something about the memories, they'd haunt him forever, the smell, the taste, and the touch. So he did what he knew how to do the best, he put on a cd, and tries to flush the memories out the best he could. Unfortunately, the radio had other plans for the big man. Not reading any song but one, and of course, it was the worst one it could ever be.
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
He knew he shouldn't have waited so long. He knew he should have made good on his promise to never give up on them. He knew he should have went to Chris a long time ago, and told him he still loved him. He knew everything he could possibly know. But it didn't make any difference. It was too late.
He often let his thoughts float back to happier times. When he and Chris were together, so very much in love, and everything was fine, but he knew he fucked it all up. He was the one who brought it to its end, even though he never said the words like Chris did, he knew it was his actions that caused him to do it.
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
He was always going to love Chris, he knew that. He knew that well enough because there he was once again. At their spot, the waterfall that had been long forgotten…well, maybe not forgotten, but hadn't been visited in quite some time. His laughter was still here. Hunter could still feel his ghostly presence here. The shiver couldn't be denied as it ran up his spine. This place held their spirits. The spirits that wanted to be together for all eternity, wrapped in a happy ending, one that Hunter himself couldn't create.
The splashing of water rang in his ears as he remembered all the nights they spent here, swimming, just enjoying being together. Tears began to well behind his green eyes, and his body began to shake as he began to think of everything all at once. The things he could have said, the things he could have done differently.
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
Coming back here, didn't make him feel any better. In-fact it probably made him feel worse considering all the memories the place was bringing back, only made him want to go to Chris, beg his forgiveness, and try to make things right again. The only problem was, knowing if they'd ever be right again. He knew that even if he was to go there, to try again with Chris, that it wouldn't be the same as it was in the beginning. Hell even how it was the first few times they broke up and got back together.
Maybe it would be better, but then again, with things being the way they were, he knew that it would only cause complications. He knew that he was with Shawn now. He knew that Shawn made him happy. Shawn never expected Chris to be something he wasn't. He loved him, completely and fully for who he was. Not what he could be, or what he pretended to be to please Hunter. But for the actual man inside him, and Hunter knew he couldn't compete with that.
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
Hunter did miss him though. He missed him very much, and hadn't been with anyone since. Yeah, he had a daughter, from a huge mistake he had made awhile ago. But he wasn't with her mother anymore, and there could never be anything there. His heart belonged to Chris, and always would. He couldn't help thinking though, about something that had been plaguing him.
If he had one wish, it'd be to be with Chris again, go back in time, remove all the bad shit that had happened between them, and get back to when things were good between them. It would take a miracle, or worse, only a magic wand to un-do all the damaged he caused though. He had stayed away much too long to do anything about it now.
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
Yeah, it was definitely too late now. Chris and Shawn were probably very happy together, and trying to make things right between them. They had a better shot at it anyway, since they didn't have the problems Hunter and Chris had. There wasn't any lies, any jealousy, any of it. Shawn didn't treat Chris like dirt when he claimed to love him. He treated Chris like gold…the way Hunter should have treated him in the first place.
If he was destined to live his life alone now, it'd be his just deserts. For giving up something so precious…for pushing Chris away every chance he got. He believed one day they would get married. That he'd be Christopher Keith Irvine Levesque. The name had such a pretty ring to it. Hunter had asked him several times to marry him, and Chris said yes a few times, but when Hunter fucked up the first engagement, there wasn't much that could be done to restore Chris' faith in him.
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe in, Hold on to me and
never let me go
The scent of him was still in this place. He picked up his cell phone and dialed the number. The number he had memorized, the number he had tried to call so many times before, but never completed the call. He let it ring, and when Chris picked up, Hunter couldn't say a word. He listened to Chris say hello three times, before he finally whispered.
"I love you."