A/N: *takes a deep breath as if to give a long speech* PEBBLEDED!!! *blinks, sounding sane* and yes, I know I need to update my other stories. But you see, Cody's not on to ask which one to update, therefore he's unable to tell me which one to update, therefore I cannot know which one to update. *insane again* PEBBLEDED!!! CODY'S F'IN HOT! *stares at his shirtless pic…*
Oh—er—right!
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The Asylum for the Insane that Middle Earth Sponsers is on a falling-down sign. Underneath, in what appears to be English, is :For the various causes of such…problems. And under that, yet.
Author and Character: Rachael
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The room was light.
Too light. The walls were white as white could be.
This was because…well everyone knows asylums are white.
Anyway!
Legolas sat in a chair, glancing around nervously, wishing it was dark. He muttered to himself, "Mary-Sue's…gotta hate…Mary-Sue's…and spiders…and snakes…and—."
"SHUT UP!" shrieked a voice. Aragorn sat in a chair, dressed in all white. He glowered angrily at the Elf. Suddenly, he started to snore.
Blinking, Legolas glanced around to see a very pretty Elf walking towards him. "MARY-SUE!!!!!!!" He screamed, leaping off the chair, and running down the hall.
"I'm not a—." screamed the Elf, looking furious. She blinked and sat on the floor, sucking her thumb. She pushed her hair behind her ear and watched the blonde Elf run away. Arwen—the she-Elf—tilted her head and continued to suck her thumb.
Legolas ignored the fact it was, indeed, Arwen, and continued running down the hall. It gradually got darker, for the light was fading. Obviously.
"I hate the light! Must stay far away from the light! NO LIGHT I TELL YOU! Lightness Falls…" he muttered, shuddering, still running.
Suddenly…
WHAM!
Legolas falled onto his ass and blinked stupidly up into the darkness.
"Who's there?" comes a female voice, scared.
Mary-Sue!!!!!!! His mind shrieked.
He blinked and focused on the source of the voice. Finally he could see.
It wasn't a Mary-Sue, although the girl was very pretty. She had long brown hair, and dark eyes, but her ears were pierced. Two in the lobe on each ear, then one in the cartilage. She tilted her head, smiling slightly, showing—gasp—braces! Upon closer inspection, one of her ears, the one with pierced cartilage, was pointy, but the other one wasn't.
She's not a Mary-Sue. Mary-Sue's NEVER have braces, nor are they, what appears as, a Half Elf, Legolas. Maybe you can trust her! He thought to himself, smiling weakly. He wondered what she was there for, she looked pretty sane.
"I'm…um…Legolas. You are?"
"Rachael…nice to meet you…" Suddenly she frowned and turned away from him, looking towards the left. "ALASTAIR! SHUT UP!" She turned back and smiled. "Why are you here?"
"Because…my father…he thinks I have problems…" he sounded tearful. Everyone would have problems if they were constantly plagued by Mary-Sue's.
Rachael nodded sanely, "I see. What sort of problems? If you don't mind me asking." Suddenly she turned right, and said in a lower voice, "Price-check on prune juice, Bob! Price-check on prune juice!" She turned back and smiled encouragingly.
He shrugged. "I don't mind…and I have…a lot of phobias. Like, I'm PETRIFIED of the light, I'm scared of Mary-Sue's, and you know, my friends thought I was a Marty-Stu, but I'm not. I'm scared of spiders, snakes, large crowds, heights…basically everything…'cept you…so far. Why are you here?"
"Because I have problems too…" she turned left again. "I CAN HEAR YOU, ALASTAIR!" She turned back and shrugged.
"I see…like…?" he asked, tilting his head again.
"I hear voices, lots of voices. The Voices don't like me talking about them, though. Alastair, he's gay, he's got a crush on this guy here! It's hilarious! Um…Revelin! He's like…one of those bad-ass punkers who thinks he's hilarious, mostly sarcastic, sometimes nice. He hates other males, for some reason…Um…Eadoin, he's got issues too. If he wasn't in my head, he'd be here too. There's three others…but I forgot their names…" she lowered her voice a little, but not like it was a male's again, "The guy Alastair likes, he's really hot, but shh…I didn't tell you…"
Legolas nodded, getting over the fact she talked to herself. "I see…"
Suddenly Rachael went stiff. She turned all the way so that her back was to him, and shouted, panicked, "Get out of the hallway, David! I can see you! Stop stalking me! Stop looking at me too!!!!!!"
Legolas stood up and looked down the hall, his Elf eyes letting him see in the dark. There was no one there.
"Um…Rachael?"
"Yes?" she whispered, still sounding panicky.
"There's no one there…Who's David?"
"My ex," she said simply, looking back down the hallway. "I killed him because he dumped me, lying…and now he decides he wants me back, but like…no way!"
Legolas looks at her strangely, finally understanding why she was there. He wondered where she stayed, and if it was in a straight-jacket.
"He used to work here, and he said I was special because I have a room with padded walls…" she said, smiling, as if talking to the Voices.
Legolas looked down the hallway, back the way he'd come and saw…a girl. One that acted, and looked, like a Mary-Sue. He could completely tell, he was so well practiced at it.
"MARY-SUE!" He shouted, jumping behind Rachael.
Rachael looked down the corridor, eyebrow raised. "That's not Mary-Sue. That's Jakkie. She was the girl David cheated on me with. He dumped her, then went back with me, then dumped me, and then I killed him," she said loudly.
She grabbed his hand, making him flinch slightly in surprise, and led him down the hall towards 'David'. Legolas followed, having no idea where they were going, or why.
"Where are you taking me?"
"To see the others…"
He frowned slightly, but then shrugged.
They continued down the hall until Rachael stepped into a grey room. Legolas paused, remembering his fear of the light, and then followed. Go me! He thought.
There in a corner, chained and straight-jacketed, was Haldir. He was glaring defensively at the wall, muttering "Stop lookin at me! I said STOP!"
In another corner, sitting to one of those wheelchairs that one, was a teenager he'd never seen before. The fact the guy was tied to the chair made him glad he wasn't.
"That's Cody…" Rachael whispered, as if afraid the guy would hear. Luckily, he didn't.
He glanced at the windows, surprised he was surprised to see they were barred.
He saw a blonde sitting in the corner, but before he could accuse her of being Mary-Sue, she shouted to the room, "I'M TIRED OF BEING OUT-OF-CHARACTER! I'M NOT A MARY-SUE!!! NOR DO I LIKE HAVING A BREED OF MARY-SUE NAMED AFTER ME!!!!" she paused and muttered quietly, "…though it is a little flattering…"
Legolas immediately recognized her as Éowyn and also immediately felt sorry for her. Must suck…he thought. Glancing around, he froze as a person walked over towards him.
It was Faramir.
"I'll need to know your name, why you're here, and—." He stopped and stared a second, "LEGOLAS?!"
Legolas flinched and felt himself go red. "Yeah…?"
"What the hell are YOU doing here?" Faramir asked, obviously trying not to smile.
Before he could answer, he heard strange, and obscene, shouts. He looked around and saw that Cody was trying desperately to get out of his chair. He pulled at his bindings, his dark brown eyes focused on…Rachael.
Legolas glanced at the girl next to him, she was looking at Cody with sympathy in her eyes. She pulled a shot-like thing out of her pocket and walked over to him. Cody calmed almost instantly. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Kissing him on the cheek, she stuck the needle into his arm, pushing the back so that the liquid was injected into his blood-stream. She backed up and seemed to wait.
Legolas watched in horror as Cody seemed to begin to get drowsier and drowsier. Suddenly he just…fell asleep. To make things worse, Rachael smiled as if proud of herself.
She said softly, "When I snap, you'll wake up and be…sane. Understood?"
Cody's nodded, still asleep.
She grinned and snapped. He woke up almost instantly. He glanced around, and smiled when he saw her. Then he glanced at what he sat in. "Um…why am I here?"
"You don't remember…?" she asked, smile faltering a little.
"Um…no?" he frowned, annoyed with himself. Rachael sighed and walked back over to Legolas.
"He's got the worst short-term memory in the entire world. That's why he's here."
"I see…" Legolas said, smiling at her. "Curious…who all IS here?"
"There's Aragorn, Arwen, Haldir, you, Gimli, Frodo, Pippin, Merry…Éowyn…Éomer…" she said, thinking hard. She turned left "IT'S NOT A BLOODY CODY-MOMENT!" She sighed and turned back to him.
He frowned. It was the only way to keep himself from cracking up. "I see…and what are they all here for?"
"They're supposedly insane…" she said, annoyed at his stupidity.
"Yes I know. But…what are their individual problems?"
"Oooh…um…Aragorn is pissed all the time, so he's always insulting someone, probably related to Arwen's problem, but he also falls asleep at any moment. Arwen…well…her mind broke. It's all those times of being Mary-Sued—" He flinched "on top of Aragorn's death, and the fact her father hates him so much. Haldir, he's got the same problem as you. He's really scared of Mary-Sues—" He glanced at Haldir, who was still yelling at the wall "Boromir tried to get him off it, but only made him paranoid too. Gimli's here, but he doesn't leave his room. He's not allowed too. Too many Elves here. He's tried to kill Haldir twelve times already. Frodo's here because he's afraid of gay people, especially Sam. He only comes out at noon. Pippin and Merry are locked in this iron cage thing, in different corridors, with straight-jackets. I'm not allowed to tell why. Revelin won't let me. Éowyn…well…you've already seen. And her brother because…he got so paranoid about every guy hitting on her, he tried to kill himself. Yeah…" she took in a deep breath, as she'd said it all on one.
"I remember something!" Cody said. Rachael turned to him, looking surprised.
"What did you remember?"
"You're birthday's the 22nd of January and mine's the 21st of February!" he said, looking proud of himself.
"Good job, Cody!" She smiled at him and then suddenly sat down. It was like her legs collapsed from underneath her. She sighed and glanced around, as if having no idea where she was or why. She tilted her head and stared at Legolas, smiling innocently.
"Who're you?"
He stared at her in surprise. "I'm Legolas…"
"That's good. I'm Rachael. Are you going to give me my fuzzy pink jacket and take me to the padded room?" she asked, smiling still.
"Um…no? Why would I?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I dunno…" she sighed softly.
"Because she had ADD and tends to be self-destructive when she's not acting…normal. She's like Jekyll and Hyde. The Jekyll, she was that a few moments ago. She'd Hyde right now. This is when she's self-destructive." Faramir said, explaining it.
Sure enough, Rachael was holding a scissors in her hand and was holding the blade against her skin. She was smiling like it was completely normal.
"Oh shit!" Faramir hissed and grabbed the scissors from her.
Rachael stared up at him, tears in her eyes. She crossed her arms and scowled, sulking like a four-year-old. Suddenly Boromir came in, holding a straight-jacket. He placed it around her, tied it, and led her from the room.
Faramir sighed. "She always hates me when she's Hyde…"
Legolas yawned, suddenly tired. He glanced around and smiled, seeing a lonely, darkly shadowed corner. He went over to it and sat in it, leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes, wondering what the second day in the asylum would be like.
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A/N: Yeah, it's weird. And yeah, Cody is Cody, that stuff about David (who is, indeed, my ex) happened…well except the killing him part. I just felt like that after he did, but shhh…you all don't know that.
I pray to God Cody doesn't kill me for putting him in the story, but yeah. I wanted too. It's just fun…now…review!