The Menacing Missions of Minority Man - The Wrath of Gandhi
Editor's note - delete this message later. Remember to take the kids out of the oven.
Prologue
Not all heroes wear lube. Some heroes just jump in raw and hope for the best. If you snooze, you loose, so it takes years of practice to be a super hero sex legend such as I. Hola my amigos, my name is Minority Man, and this is my autobiography on how I became the greatest minority to ever set my dick on America.
Chapter 1 - The Undeportable
It all started one day when I was just minding my own business at my crib. The police knocked on the door, but I was unable to get to the door, as my dick was stuck in my cat's mouth again.
The police knocked down my door and screamed,
"MINORITY MAN YOU FUCKER! You've done fooled us again! How the flying fuck do you keep sneaking into this country?"
"Silly goose! Y'all dumb af" I responded as I pulled my 15.74 inch dick out of my cat, "You'll never deport me! I am the UNDEPORTABLE! Soon you'll feel the wrath of a thousand unlubed girthy cocks! L8TER SK8TER!"
As they handcuffed me and dumped me back in Mexico, they spit on my dick, knowing that I would return once again. This was my super power. No matter how many times they deport me, I am able to sneak back into the country. The US government will spend so much tax money on deporting me that there economy will soon collapse. I just need to sneak in one more time and Minority Man will become victorious! These white jew fucks will pay!
Chapter 2 - No Bueno
Tonight's curry tastes damn delicious. It was so good that I had to let my stripper Arnold have a test. Arnold was my black male stripper sidekick who will forever stay by my side, until US falls. His luscious dark skin always gave me a warm feeling inside, as Arnold was also my secret lover.
"Let's fucking do this nigga." Arnold said seductively with his smooth and sexy voice.
Just that sentence was so arousing that I almost nut on the spot. But I had to hold myself back as I had a mission to accomplish. Arnold picked up the newspaper seductively, and shock filled his face. He shouted seductively,
"Oh fucking no nigga!"
He passed me the newspaper seductively, and I read the headline. I couldn't believe it. It said "Gandhi has been found alive in Jamaica, as it turns out that he actually faked his death. All USA people have decided that he should now be president." Since Gandhi was a minority himself, that means he will simply let minorities into the country! This means I couldn't waste their tax dollars by sneaking in. What the curry fuck?! Rage filled me and Arnold's seductive eyes. It was now our mission to destroy Gandhi.
Chapter 3 - The Curry Masaya
Me and Arnold hopped into our pink smart car and headed towards the great USA wall. As we arrived, we saw the wall being torn down by a bunch of kabob loving indians. A tear began to stream down my face, as I screamed,
"What in tarnation? What the thunder cunt you fricking brown genitalia, how could you tear down this beauty of a wall?"
The curry men looked at me, and simply responded,
"Cool beans dude, all hail the great Gandhi."
My body filled with anger, but Arnold gave my penis a nice little stroke to calm myself down. He's so cute and precious… I love him so much. He said seductively,
"Yo nigga, let's destroy this Gandhi fuck right now."
I looked back at him and nodded. We drove through the remaining parts of the wall and ran over all the dumb curry men, but we were stopped very soon. Gandhi pulled up in his hoverboard, looking fly as fuck, with his sex slave Jacob Sartorius and his fellow pimps and players. There were about 10 of them, but me and Arnold knew that we could take them as long as we linked our powers together. Gandhi chuckled as he said in his Indian accent,
"I have been expected you. UuUOoOUuUOoO (indian noises). It is I, the almighty curry masaya, Gandhi! It is time to face your demise! UuUOoOUuUOoO!"
"Haha, yea dude" Jacob added.
"Shut the curry fuck up you stupid ass sex slave! UuUOoOUuUOoO." Gandhi replied.
Arnold glanced at me seductively, and from that I knew what he wanted to say. We need to take out his 10 pimps and players first before we destroy Gandhi's ass.
"We're vegan btw." One of the pimps and players said. This was bad news. It is common knowledge that all vegans are genetically superior to meat eaters as they are at least 6'5 and jacked as FUCK. There's no way we could even take out one of these vegan overlords.
"We are in a little bit of a pickle nigga." Arnold whispered seductively.
He was right… For the first time, I didn't know what to do. The almighty Minority Man was in trouble.
Chapter 4 - The Mustache Man
The buff vegan pimps and players had surrounded us. We were in big trouble. Gandhi laughed as he boasted,
"See you later alligator Minority Man! UuUOoOUuUOoO! America will live forever!"
A miracle needed to happen or else this would be the end for me and Arnold.
All of a sudden Jacob Sartorius looked me straight in the eyes and said "It's just a hit or miss nigga!". He reached under his chin and started it take of a mask! It revealed a smooth sexy mustache as hot as the blazing sun. It wasn't Jacob Sartorius at all! It was actually the one and only Hitler! He hit a quick hail as me and Arnold took a deep sigh of relief.
"Der Autor dieses Buches hat den größten Penis in ganz Jamaika. I am here to exterminate all people with uncircumcised penises! Foreskin is fucking wack!" Hitler yelled with his German accent.
Arnold looked me straight in the eyes seductively and said,
"Dude, Pogchamp nigga."
Hitler started to hail with both his arms at a furious pace, so fast that you could barely even see his arms. This caused him to start to viscously spin around.
"Ich habe eine widerliche Hefeinfektion! PEGASUS STAR BLAST ATTACK!" He yelled.
Hitler spun so quickly that he turned into a human beyblade! With one quick motion, he knocked all of the vegan pimps and players back to China. This is particular impressive btw because vegans are always more physically and mentally superior than other humans.
"Hitler is like my G af dude!" I screamed.
As me and Arnold clapped with joy, hitler smirked and said,
ASTALA VISTA SUCKERS! Dies ist eine geheime Nachricht. Der Autor hat mich entführt und mich in seinem Keller eingeschlossen. HAHAHA! I will kill all uncircumcised men! You are next Gandhi!"
"MonkaS" Gandhi responded, "Or Am I ? UuUOoOUuUOoO!"
Chapter 5 - The Legend Himself
Gandhi smirked with the largest grin I've ever seen, as he laughed menacingly while eating curry furiously. He put his hand under his chin and began to take of his mask. It revealed 15 six pack abs and nipples so majestic that God himself would jizz to just being in the mere presence of them. It wasn't Gandhi at all! It was the one, the only, the mother fucking legendary pornstar - Ron Jeremy!
"What's up fuck faces. Me and my circumcised 4565543 inch penis will destroy you all!" he said.
Hitler panicked, as he slowed down his hailing. "Oh shit dude. I can only kill uncircumcised men and women. Ron Jeremy is my only weakness! His dick has been cut, and it has been cut real fine. Darn fuck dude! I'll have to try anyway"
Ron Jeremy whipped out his dick like a samurai sword and began to spin around. He became a beyblade, and headed straight for Hitler. Hitler also transformed into a beyblade with his hails and striked back.
"PEGASUS STAR BLAST ATTACK!" Hitler screamed as he spun.
As Ron Jeremy's penis clashed with Hitler's arms, a large explosion filled a 1000 mile radius. As the dust faded, I could only see the silhouette of one person left standing. It was the lean smooth sexy Loreal body of Ron Jeremy. I looked up and saw Hitler's body flying up into the sky.
"Looks like me and Arnold are going to have to defeat you ourselves!" I said.
"Roger that nigga." Arnold replied seductively.
Me and Ron Jeremy clashed for hours on end, both exhausting all of our energy. His removed foreskin proved to powerful for me, as he had knocked me down. As he was about to stick his 9876543 inch penis into my ass, he said,
"Haha! Any last words?"
I grinned as I replied "Curry Tikka Masala you dirty non-foreskinned pig!"
Arnold snuck up behind him and quickly sowed foreskin back onto his erect penis. I rolled to the side as I winked at Arnold.
"What is that supposed to do?" Ron Jeremy asked.
Little did he know, Hitler had not been defeated at all. When he was knocked into the sky, he was just building momentum to come back down. Now that Ron Jeremy had his foreskin back, Hitler would be able to kill him.
"PEGASUS STAR BLAST ATTACK!" Hitler yelled as he was flying down from the sky.
With one quick hail strike, Ron Jeremy had been cut into 100 Pieces and banished to the nether realm.
"My job here is done." Hitler said. He pulled out a gun from his fanny pack and shoved it into his foreskin. He pulled the trigger and ate his dick off.
"Minority Man is triumphant once again!" I said.
"Hell yeah nigga." Arnold replied seductively.
It was time to head back, as it was a long day at work. The world had been once again saved by the greatest minority of all time.
Epilogue
Me and Arnold were back in the crib eating Curry Tikka Masala. The US government had been destroyed, and had been completely replaced by minorities. Today was a good day. I got lost into arnold's sexy eyes and dreamed of banging him.
"What's wrong nigga?" Arnold said seductively.
"I'm missing just one thing in my life." I told him. "That thing is you…."
To Be Continued...