A/N: this is my first Malec fanfiction, and I know it's short for now, but if people like it I will make sure to update soon. CC owns everything. Also, fun fact, I wrote this at 3 in the morning at a girl scout camp. Enjoy!
It's been two weeks now since Magnus and I broke up, and I had barely eaten anything. I wasn't really hungry, but both my head and my heart hurt. I just sat there in my floor, I could hear Izzy banging on the door.
"Alec, open up, please!" She begged.
"Go away! I want to be left alone!" I pleaded, and soon, the banging ceased. I tried to peel myself off the floor, slowly stalking over to my tidy desk. On it sat a picture of Magnus and me in Italy, we were smiling as if nothing could tear us apart.
Except me, I thought hopelessly, I had done this, I had betrayed Magnus.
There, sitting next to the picture was a dagger, about five inches long, and an inch wide, it was a blade that Magnus had given me, the pain in my chest felt like I had been stabbed with it. I brought my hand down over it, and tightly gripped the handle, lifting it to my face. It was sharp enough to do the trick.
Next, I saw the pen and paper, on the paper was the start of a letter to Magnus, I lifted the pen, continuing the letter.
Dear Magnus,
Since the moment I met you, I thought you were beautiful, the most dazzling person I knew, and when you said that you liked me. I thought, Why, I was nothing special, nothing that you hadn't seen before. But, before I knew it, you had made me feel special, like I was one of a kind, but the truth is, I'm nothing different, I'm a coward. I wear clothes that make me look homeless. I never knew how you could have liked me, and I realize now I never will.
Oh, and Magnus, I want to say I'm sorry, for hurting you. For betraying your trust, and for letting you get hurt like that. However, if there is one thing I'm not sorry for, it's loving you. You made me see the whole world differently, and for that I am grateful. I don't regret it at all, I loved you and I wouldn't change that for anything.
I will always love you,
Alec
After I finished writing I put the pen down and folded the note, placing it back down on the desk. I inched over to my bed, sitting down gingerly, and placing the dagger on the soft flesh of my wrist, it was cool to the touch, and the feeling made me flinch. I felt tears in my eyes, and as I pulled the blade against my flesh I allowed them to fall, not bothering to wipe them away. I let out a broken sob, and laid down on the bed. As I bled, I let my eyes slip closed, and give way to darkness, the last thing I remember before falling unconscious was warm hands, and a familiar accent yelling at me.
"Alec! You idiot!"