Mimi Tachikawa woke up to an eerily white room, rubbing her hazel eyes clear of sleep she took in her surroundings, trying to process where she was. And as she saw her sleeping fiancé next to her in a chair, memories hit her like a freight train on full speed. She had been in this hospital room for the past four days, because four days earlier she had delivered her premature baby, 3 months early. She looked over at him, the love of her life, the father of her child, he had been crying which was surprising for anyone who knew him. Matt Ishida never cried but as the life of his child hung in the balance, he broke down into a silent depressed fit of sobs. Mimi however was yet to shed a tear.
"Ms. Tachikawa, we need you to take another blood test" The nice nurse said softly. Mimi merely nodded, lifting the sleeve of her sweater so that her arm was easier to access.
"You'll be let go today, they're saying" She said kindly as she stuck the long needle into Mimi's arm, under any normal circumstance Mimi would be screaming her head off at the sight of a needle, but as this one penetrated through her skin she didn't even feel it, because her body had gone numb four days ago, when she learned that her baby probably wouldn't live through this.
"Honey, only god knows what you're going through, but take it from someone who's seen this happen before, don't alienate the people you love the most, because they're gonna help you get through it" She advised, filling the test tube with Mimi's blood.
"Especially him" She added, motioning towards Matt.
"Oh and by the way, you have visitors, should I send them in?" The nurse asked politely, once again Mimi said nothing, just nodded.
Sora, Mimi's best friend, and her boyfriend Tai, who happened to be Matt's best friend, walked in. Their faces were solemn; Sora cried every day she had come, even Tai the big strong man let his tears leak out at the site of the barely born infant in the neo-natal unit, the one hanging on to life by the skin of its teeth. And then still Mimi didn't cry.
"Mimi say something please, I can't see you like this" Sora whispered, sitting next to Mimi on her bed.
"Please Meems" Tai pleaded, inching closer from the door.
"I have to go see my baby" Mimi whispered, her face was devoid of any emotion, the same held true for her voice. Matt also woke up, due to the noise and the movement in the room. It took him a lot less time to register why they were there then it had taken Mimi.
Not even so much as glancing at Matt, Mimi swung her bare legs over the bed before lightly jumping of it, the shorts she had on under her gown were not any longer then the gown itself, she immediately shivered as her feet hit the bare cold tiled floor.
"Mimi let me come with you" Matt called, but Mimi nor approved nor denied, she just walked out of the room; the door slamming behind her was the only noise in the otherwise silent room.
Mimi knew her way to the ICU like the back of her hand, she knew every turn, straight and hallway that led to it, and whenever she went through, barefoot, cold, she saw new people all staring at her. She knew it was because they were wondering why she is here, because even with heavy bags under her eyes, her light brown hair in a messy ponytail and her normally bright beautiful hazel eyes were gaunt, every single person could see how beautiful she is and couldn't pin point the exact reason why a girl like that would be in a place like this.
Once again Mimi stood, her right hand pressed against the glass as she looked in through the transparent window. The baby with tubes going through its nose and mouth, the baby with I.V's in its arms and pulse monitor stickers all over its tiny body, the baby who's eyes she was yet to see, the baby who's clumps of blonde hair were barely visible through all the machines that surrounded it.
"You can't do this alone" A voice said behind her.
"I'm not alone" Mimi said, not turning her face from the glass.
"You need to let him near you Mimi, it's killing him that he can't help you, it's got to be harder on him losing two people at the same time" He reasoned.
"Don't you dare say that this is harder for anyone but me! You have no idea what it's like to watch your baby slowly dying in front of you! I'm so tired of every single person judging my emotions and telling me what to feel!" Mimi yelled, the first time she actually used her voice to convey any kind of emotion in four days. She ended up collapsing in his arms; she didn't cry she just stood there limp in his arms, as he quietly stroked her hair.
"Why would something like this happen to me Tk?" Mimi whispered.
"I mean I'm a good person, I do what I can for everyone else, I try not to be selfish and be nice to everybody, so I have to know, why me?" She continued.
"Everything happens for a reason Meems, you told me that, believe it yourself" Tk told her, he looked deep within her eyes.
"Tk, this is the first time I've seen you here since the first day, what changed your mind?" Mimi asked, turning back to the glass and once again staring at her child.
"I couldn't bare the sight of him, my nephew, it was selfish I know, and I should have been here I know but I'm only human and for me I needed time" Tk confessed, he lowered his head.
"We named him, yesterday" Mimi said softly, her fingers still pressed against the glass.
"What's his name?" Tk choked out, he was on the brink of tears himself.
"Isaac, Isaac Matthew Ishida" Mimi whispered, a quiet smile formed on her face.
"Isaac, that means-
"Laughter, and the day I get to see his, I will be the happiest most grateful person on this entire planet" Mimi explained, staring intently at the id bracelet on her son's wrist.
Meanwhile…
"Sora I just don't understand what I should do" Matt said aggravatedly, as he and one of his oldest friends took a walk around the hospital courtyard.
"Nothing, I suppose, Matt you know her as well as I do, Mimi knows you're there for her, she just needs her space" Sora advised.
"Oh you're a big help" Matt said sarcastically.
"Matt, everyone can see you're upset, you're his father and nobody expects to react any differently, but Mimi, I mean she had him inside of her for 6 months Matt, she feels so much more-
"I can't understand how anyone can say that, I'm that baby's father, I talked to him every single day, sang to him, felt him kick and did god knows how many other stupid things! Still I can't be upset, I try to help and I get the cold shoulder, I leave her alone everyone calls me unsupportive what the hell am I supposed to do!? I try to be strong every single day but I'm breaking inside" Matt shouted, his chest heaving up and down at the sudden display of emotion.
Sora stood there and let him vent, after all that's what friends are for. And of course she was unbelievably distressed at the latest events but she knew it wasn't even a tenth of what Matt and Mimi were feeling.
"Matt, nobody expects you to be rock solid, you're human and you feel things too, you can't be strong for anyone else, Mimi loves you possibly more than anything else in the entire world, just keep doing what you're doing I promise you that's all she needs right now" Sora said softly, putting a hand on his arm.
"Hmm? Matt? Hug?" Sora asked, smiling sadly.
"Yea" Matt sighed, running a hand through his sandy blonde hair; he wrapped his arms around her.
"You're an awesome guy Matt, I'm actually kinda sad we broke up" Sora sniffed, laughing slightly.
"What girl isn't" Matt grinned, for the first time in what felt like years.
"She'll come around" Sora assured.
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"Mimi" A soft voice called behind her.
"Yes" Mimi answered, turning around to a sullen Kari.
"Anything yet?" She asked, in her small, quiet yet confident voice.
Mimi shook her head, bowing it slightly.
"Can I ask you a question?" She asked, timidly.
"Sure" Mimi replied.
"Why don't you let yourself cry Mimi? Holding all this emotion inside of yourself, it's not good and it's not you" Kari said emotionally, tears lined the young girl's eyes.
"Kari, you cry for something when you feel sad, when a relative dies or you lose your puppy" Mimi started, looking into her dark brown eyes.
"See, nothing bad is going to happen to my son, I firmly believe that, and until that belief is broken, I'm not going to cry" Mimi continued, her voice was low and a little raspy but it was firm.
"I'm glad you've got so much faith Meems, but you don't have to do this alone, please let Matt help you, it's making him crazy" Kari told her honestly, as she gazed through the glass.
"He's beautiful, Isaac, and I can tell he's strong, he gets that from you, he's going to be my nephew soon" Kari smiled softly. Mimi nodded, she was happy for Kari, but for once in her life she didn't know what say.
"Kari, do you think you could call Matt for me?" Mimi asked, her voice was quiet, it didn't have any emotion in it, and it wasn't hard or cold, just tired.
"I'll text him, like right now" Kari complied, a hidden smile formed on her beautiful face as she pulled out her phone.
Meanwhile…
"You know I feel for you man, I'm just not so good at showing it" Tai told Matt as they sat in the main waiting room.
"It's all right Tai, I don't think anyone really knows what I'm going through and as much as I wish I could help Mimi, maybe I don't know exactly what she's going through" Matt confessed.
"I've known Mimi all my life, she loves you-
"Everyone keeps telling me that, and I never doubted it, the only thing I want from her is to let me in" Matt sighed.
"I-
Tai was interrupted by a vibrating sound coming from the pocket of Matt's jeans. People turned around and Matt sheepishly took out his phone and flipped it open.
"Who's it from?" Tai asked curiously.
"It's from your sister" Matt answered, reading it.
Matt, come to the neo-natal unit, Mimi wants 2 see u ASAP! -Kari
"Bounce dude, take the chance" Tai encouraged.
"I'm already there man" Matt grinned, jumping out of his seat and sprinting down the hallway.
As Matt ran down hospital hallways, doctors, nurses and patients alike gazed at him, he simply flashed them a smile and kept going. He knew that his son was still in the ICU but at least maybe Mimi was letting him help now, it would ease him a little more knowing that she wasn't dealing with this alone.
"Hey" Kari greeted, hugging him before quickly walking out of the small space inhabited by about four plastic chairs, the glass wall dividing them from their child, the door the two of them had opened and closed so many times in the last four days and the flickering tube light that was the only source of illumination in the otherwise dim room.
Mimi stood once again with her hand pressed against the cold glass, Matt stood adjacent from her contemplating whether he should reach out to her.
"He moved, that hand" Mimi pointed, turning towards him.
"Really?" Matt asked, it wasn't miraculous but it was progress.
"Yea" Mimi nodded; she turned to face him, looking up into his eyes.
"Mimi can I, I mean do you think I could-
"Matt?" Mimi interrupted softly.
"Yea?" Matt asked.
"Please, just hold me?" Mimi requested, her eyes looked into his almost pleadingly. Immediately Matt walked over to her, he wrapped his strong arms around her tiny, shaking frame. Mimi wrapped her arms under his, she inhaled deeply, and her face was on his chest as she took in his scent. Matt put his chin on the top of her head as he nuzzled it slightly, he kissed her hair.
"I love you" Mimi replied, her voice was muffled as she buried her face deeper into his shirt.
"I love you too, pretty girl" Matt said relieved, as if it was something he had been wanting to say for a very long time but just didn't know when to say it. Matt kissed her lips softly, leading her over to the chairs so they could sit.
"You know a part of me has been blaming you for this babe" Mimi confessed.
"But it's all my fault, my son is about to die, I'm a horrible mother" Mimi whispered bitterly, turning her face away from his.
"Hey, listen, blame me if you want to, but this is in no way your fault, baby there was nothing you could do prevent this from happening" Matt told her seriously, touching her cheek.
"Then whose fault is it?!" Mimi demanded.
"No one's" Matt answered calmly.
"Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish it was you? Because I never have, until now, I would give anything to switch places with our baby, have it live instead of me…" Mimi trailed off.
"I understand how you feel" Matt said uneasily.
"We painted the nursery, bought a crib, even exchanged the convertible for a car with a back seat, it all feels so meaningless now, I don't think I'll be able to go back to our apartment it's going to be so painful" Mimi said, her voice sounded sorrowful and still held a tinge of guilt within it.
"I never saw myself a mother at 19" Mimi said.
"I didn't see myself a father at 20" Matt concurred, kissing her cheek.
"I'm sorry I've been pushing you away lately, I just needed to do some thinking, I know that if there's anyone who knows how I feel it's obviously you" Mimi apologized, laying her head on his shoulder.
"I know that, which is why I gave you the space you needed, it killed me but I did it" Matt told her, kissing her temple.
"I love you, so much" Mimi said, repeating her earlier statement.
"I love you too" Matt said immediately, putting a protective arm around her.
Mimi closed her eyes for a moment, thinking of a time when her son would be healthy enough to take home, believing that there was nothing wrong with him, a time when she would see him open his beautiful eyes and look at her, a time when she would see his smile and hear his laughter, the day he would say his first word "mommy". She held on tight to the hope she had and wouldn't let herself believe that he wouldn't make it, he had so much to live for, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to live without him.
Then as suddenly as the second of peace came, it left, a loud beeping noise made her jump out of her seat as a machine made the room glow red.
"Oh God! Nurse! Nurse!" Matt yelled, pushing the button that would call a nurse/doctor. Mimi's vision began to go blurry as everything around her began to spin. The last thing she heard was Matt calling her name as her eyes slowly shut and everything went black.
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A/N: I hope you liked it, please review!! This is my first story and I plan on making it a short one, maybe 5 chapters if that. By the way, Populette, I used your name, I hope you don't mind, if you do PM me and I'll totally change it! Reviews please!!! Oh BTW, as you can tell by my profile picture, I love One Tree Hill(which I don't own, I don't own Digimon either btw) so I used the nickname "Pretty Girl" In here, it's what Lucas used to call Brooke.