I do not own Hetalia. Hidekaz Himaruya does.
A/N: Well, this is awkward. I know Opposites Attract is supposed to be updated and I'm not going to come up with some lame excuse. But I will tell you that I am sick. :D: But when you're sick you still can write. HAHA Anyways, this is a horrible one-shot started last night. At first, I was feeling kinda depressed so the first part isn't happy. Then my friend, eatingpaper (who you should totally check out ;D), cheered me up. Yeah. I'm just rambling…. HEH :D
REVIEWS will be LOVED! :D
Enjoy
~PoisonIvania
On a typical Saturday night, Arthur Kirkland sits at his favorite bar stool at his favorite bar, chugging down whiskey like there's no tomorrow.
He is accompanied by his regular drinking buddies, Matthias Køhler and Gilbert Beilschmidt, who were also drinking their night away.
The atmosphere was dark and gloomy.
Between hiccups, Arthur turned to his buddies, "Hey… What are ya guys so sad about?"
"Norge…"
"This whole unawesome world…"
"Heh, that's nothing compared to mine! Alfred thinks he's the bloody boss of the world and leaves me alone! I bloody brought him up! And recently, I haven't seen him around, must be ignoring me. Bloody fool."
Matthias shot an ugly glare in the Briton's direction, "Keh. Now, that's nothing! I think Norge is being unfaithful! I betcha he's cheating on me with Ice!"
Gilbert scowled at Matthias, "Eww dude. Aren't they brothers?"
"Exactly! Why choose the younger brother over the elder one?"
Arthur and Gilbert both eyed the Dane, giving him weird looks.
"You're his brother too? That's even sicker!"
The Dane blushed, "Erm… I'm not his brother through blood but we lived together for a long time so I guess we're sort of bros…"
"Gross. But that's a lame reason! Incest is lame and so are you!" Gilbert chuckled and pointed at the Dane.
"My problem is this whole fucking world! Firstly, Liz chooses that classical pansy over awesome me! Next, my brudder rather spend time with that Italian crybaby than with me!" Gilbert exclaimed, gesticulating his arms wildly in weird gestures.
"Dude… do you love your brother or something?" Arthur eyed the Prussian suspiciously.
"N…no!" Gilbert stuttered out, "Didn't I say incest is lame?"
"Okayyy." Arthur slurred, "My story is still way more sad than yours."
"Do tell." A thick Chinese accent interrupted their discussion, "I bet you can't beat my story."
The trio turned behind to see Wang Yao strolling towards them.
"Well… You know I saved Alfred from that French pervert and then I made sure he grew up in a pure and clean environment. I even made sure he ate well." Arthur paused to shoot a dirty glare at the three who we trying to hold back their laughter, "And then when he became older, he decided I wasn't good enough for him and decided to break away from me. It resulted in a war and guess who won? Him! Bloody git!"
Overwhelmed by emotions, he grabbed a shot of whiskey and gulped it down.
Wang Yao smiled at Arthur, a look of pity in his eyes. "Well… Thanks for trying, but mine is still more worth the pity. Well, remember I looked after Kiku? I took care of him for centuries! Then one night, he came in and slashed me with a katana! And then…" he turned to look at Arthur, "This British fool here tricked me with opium and took Xiang! And just when I thought it was the end, Francis came and took away Mei!"
Wang Yap continued to pant erratically, flustered after his outburst. "Whoa… here, have some alcohol." Matthias handed a pint to Wang Yao.
"Xie xie."
Gilbert smirked, turning to Arthur, "Any last words oh mighty pirate?"
Feeling threatened, Arthur coughed out a response.
"Alfred's banging that freaky Braginski guy!"
"HUH!" the three other drinkers' eyes widened and stared at Arthur in what seemed to be a mixture of fear and disbelief.
And then there was an awkward silence.
"Bu ken neng. Wan quan bu ke neng! Ni bu yao jiang fei hua! Ivan shi wo de!"
The trio cocked their heads to the side as Yao continued to ramble on In rapid Chinese.
"Err Yao… English please."
"Oh sorry, I said that it's impossible and that's you're talking rubbish, because Ivan is mine."
"Are you talking about me da?"
"Hnnn! Its him!" Matthias gasped as they spun around towards to source of the voice.
"Da, it's me. And I'm yours Yao? That's so sweet." Ivan approached the group and wrapped his arms around the small Chinese man.
"Ivan…"
"Yao, I think it's the other way. You are mine." Ivan mumbled as he kissed Yao's hair.
"Enough lovey dovey shit! Please take it to the bedroom!" Gilbert blurted
"Gladly comrade!" Ivan exclaimed, a little to enthusiastically, "Let's leave this place."
"Wait. You must first tell us your pitiful story."
"Oh! I have two sisters! One is scared of me and the other is crazy! The crazy one keeps following me and wants to marry me at any cost! I remembered she tried to kill Yao a while back. Hehe Oh and the scared one has been avoiding me. Da, end of story."
"Okay…" the rest of the group replied simultaneously.
"Dude, that wasn't one bit pitiful! In fact, it was kinda creepy." Gilbert whispered to Arthur and Matthias.
"Agreed. He's a weirdo. I say we just play along."
"Well, we should get going now! Bye bye!" Ivan then scooped Yao into his arms and walked out of the bar.
"I guess it's still the three of us in the end." Matthias sighed, "Poor us."
"Well, I say we don't wallow in self-pity cause' it's unawesome!" Gilbert suddenly stood up and declared, "Starting with you axe boy!"
"Huh? But I can't do anything if Norge cheats on me."
"Be a man! If he cheats on you, he's a bastard and you better break up with him!"
Matthias felt a sudden surge of energy pass through him; he got up, standing tall.
"Yeah! I must be a man!" he said, pumping his fist against his chest,"I'm going to tell Norge that I don't care if he cheats on me!"
That moment, the door of the bar swung.
"Matthias Køhler! What the hell are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?" an angry Norwegian screamed across the bar.
"Norge! You came to find me!" Matthias's eyes lit up as he exclaimed at the sight of Norway.
"Kesesesese he was just about to break up with you!" Gilbert hollered across the bar.
"What the hell?" Norway glared at Matthias and yelled, "Don't bother coming home then!" He then turned behind and slammed the bar door behind him.
"Wa-wait!" Matthias ran after Norway and out of the bar, "I can explain!"
"Hehe he's in deep shit now." Gilbert smirked, "Now for you Iggy! Solve your problems with my assistance!"
"No bloody way! You'll just screw things up!"
"Completely ignoring Arthur's response, Gilbert started to craft a plan.
"You could buy over Macs and turn it into some Brit joint. He's bound to come after you."
"Err thanks but no thanks."
"Or you could pose as a stripper, who can resist strippe-"
"Enough Gilbert! Why don't you go over there and hit on that girl in the corner?" Arthur pointed to a pale bespectacled blonde girl who was sitting alone at the corner seat of the bar.
"Hey! She's kinda cute! Just needs a little love that's all! Give me 10 minutes and she'll be mine!" Gilbert turned on his charm and swaggered towards the girl.
Arthur stayed in his seat and watched the scene before him. Gilbert was right; in no more than 10 minutes, Gilbert was leaving the bar with the girl.
"Thank you!" Gilbert had mouthed at Arthur before leaving the bar.
Now Arthur was all alone. He wasn't that drunk so he was still aware of his surroundings. He took advantage of his solace to ponder over his problems.
Why was Alfred avoiding him like plague? Why had he suddenly cut off all contact with him? Why did he look so scared to see him?
Arthur sighed deeply and ordered another round of whiskey. He slowly chugged down the alcohol, feeling it scorch his throat. He felt the room begin to spin around him and stared blankly into space.
That moment, he felt a pairs of arms wrap around his waist, the familiar scent of rose perfume tickled his senses.
"Mon cher, I've been waiting for you all night." A familiar husky voice whispered into his ear.
Arthur recognized that voice anywhere.
"Shut up frog."
"Oh! You are not happy to see me?"
"I know you did it."
"Did what?"
"Don't feign innocence frog! I know you did something to Alfred!"
"Hmph. I simply told him to back off from you or feel my wrath of my fist." Francis huffed.
Arthur spun around and looked Francis in the eye, "You chased him a way? For what?"
"For our happiness." Francis smiled and swiftly planted a kiss on Arthur.
"I'm letting you off for now frog cause' I'm not in the right state of mind. But you better watch you back tomorrow." Arthur warned Francis.
"Anything you say mon cher… anything for you." Francis hugged Arthur a little tighter as he rests his head on his shoulder.
A/N: Whoo~ Finished with that! :D Erm… I know this is poorly written but I will say.
It was 2am in the morning, I'm sick, the characters are semi-drunk.
Those aren't good excuses. D:
But I apologize that the characters are a bit OOC and the storyline is rushed D:
Constructive criticism will be good too! :D
Anyways, just to tell you. Chapter 11 of Opposites Attract is like… ½ done! :D Yay! *FLAILS ARMS* :D HAHA I should really stop now.