Chapter 1

Ten years of hunting Red John and now they'd finally caught him.

The details of how didn't matter, the only thing that did was he was gone.

After it was all done and things had died down a bit Lisbon shut herself in her office to do paperwork. When, at last, she decided it was time to quit everyone, except for the night security guard, was gone. Well, not everyone.

She knew Jane was still up in his attic doing God knows what.

After packing up her briefcase Lisbon made her way to the elevator, but instead of pressing the down button she looked concernedly at the stairs leading to Jane's personal lair.

She wondered if maybe she should look in on him, make sure he was alright. Then again, perhaps he just wanted to be alone.

Turning back around she pushed firmly on the elevator's down button. However, as soon as the doors slid open Lisbon changed her mind and determinedly made her way up the stairs to the door separating her and her partner.

She knocked and waited for a response but it didn't come.

Had she been wrong? Had he left already?

Lisbon slide the heavy door open and looked around the dimly lit room. Just as she was about to give up she caught a glimpse of Jane's blonde curly hair just over the edge of the window. He was sitting out on the balcony.

She walked across the room to the small door adjoining the attic and the open roof.

Jane made no sign that he had noticed her approach, but Lisbon knew he had.

Did his false ignorance of her presence mean he didn't want her there?

Maybe this had been a mistake.

She started to back away, but just as she was about to return into the gloomy little room Jane spoke up.

"It's okay, you can stay."

His voice was quiet and she almost didn't hear it over the sounds of night traffic.

She swallowed uneasily.

"I don't want to intrude on anything."

"There's nothing to intrude on Lisbon." A hint of bitter amusement had seeped into his tone. "There's just nothing."

"Jane...", Lisbon started, but stopped when struck with the fact that she had no idea what to say to him.

He continued softly, "I thought there would be, but there isn't. It hasn't changed a thing."

Lisbon didn't have to be told what he meant by 'it', she knew all too well, and she felt anger begin to burn in the pit of her stomach at his words.

"It has changed something," she stated harshly. "He can't hurt anyone ever again. He can't do to anyone else what he did to you and so many other people."

Jane held up a hand to halt her speech.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad he can't hurt people anymore. I just meant for me, I thought it would change something, but it didn't."

Lisbon stared at him confusedly.

"But this is what you've said you wanted for a decade."

"I know, I know that," he agreed impatiently. "It's just I expected to feel, I don't know…some kind of weight lifted, some kind of peace, and I don't."

"Jane, you had to have known that getting him wasn't going to give you peace just like that, didn't you?" she questioned him, concerned.

"Of course not, I'm not that naïve, I just…I thought…I don't know what I thought."

Jane hung his head in discouragement at not being able to explain himself better.

Lisbon stepped tentatively closer to him, took a deep breathe, and prepared herself for what she was about to say.

"I think I know what you mean," she started. "After my mom was killed and my dad started drinking, abusing us kids, I wished sometimes, God forgive me, that he would just die." She took another breathe, and although Jane's head was still bent she could tell he was listening. "Then as I got older," she continued, "the drinking got worse and worse and I knew that eventually he would kill himself one way or the other. When it finally happened I expected to feel something different than I did. I thought I'd feel a sense of freedom, of peace, but I didn't. All I felt was sadness."

"I realize this isn't the same thing as what happened to you, but what I'm trying to say is, you need to find peace on your own. Red John's death isn't going to give it to you."

As she finished Jane raised his head and stared at her a sad smile gracing his features.

"Thank you for that Lisbon."

As soon as he'd said this he brought his head down to its former position.

They continued on in silence for some moments, and Lisbon began to feel as if she should leave when she noticed Jane's shoulders were shaking softly.

The realization that he was crying caused her to feel as though someone had punched her in the gut and left her breathless. She'd never seen him cry before.

Not being sure what to do, but at the same time not wanting to leave him Lisbon followed her instincts.

She placed a cool hand against the back of his neck, buried her fingers in his curly hair, and slowly circled her fingertips against the back of his head in a, hopefully, soothing manner.

Her ministrations soon had the sought after effect, or perhaps more than the sought after effect, because with a soft sigh Jane moved his bent head slightly forward and leaned against her side fitting perfectly within the soft curve of her waist.

Lisbon was unsure of how to react. She tried not to tense and let Jane know she had been made uncomfortable by his action, although really, he probably knew anyway. Which meant he needed this and she certainly wasn't going to deny him comfort when he needed it.

Now with her new found confidence in their, admittedly rather compromising position, Lisbon laid her unoccupied hand to the top of his head and matched the motions she was making with her other hand.

When she heard Jane take a deep, almost contented sounding, breathe she smiled gently, albeit with a hint of sadness and apprehension. Lisbon knew that things were soon to change for her and her partner, and it wasn't going to be a pleasant change. But she shoved her trepidation for the future to the side and focused on the present because she was helping him and right at this moment that was all that mattered.

Thanks for reading. Review and tell me if you'd like me to continue this fic. I have two more chapters if you want 'em.