The Extremely Marvellous and Very Safe Hogwarts Moving Staircase Championships

or

How Lily Evans and James Potter invented a Hogwarts Legend and Became Friends

Chapter 1

December 3rd 1976

Lily sat in the library, chewing her pen thoughtfully, and also angrily. The former, as she was trying to think of the next thing to write about the uses and abuses of mandrakes, and the latter, as her latest interaction with one Severus Snape was replaying itself over and over in her mind.

Into this already heady concoction of emotions barged James Potter, who, no sooner than he had entered the library, made a beeline for Lily's table and sat down, facing her. The relationship between the two of them was as some, or in particular one Sirius Black, might say "fraught with possibilities." While everyone took very different things from that, from that they were days away from announcing their relationship, to that they were days away from announcing one of their gruesome murders, what everyone could agree on is that no one could really predict how an interaction or, more worrisomely, a conversation, between them would go. An observant outsider could perhaps have gauged this even without Sirius' comment, from the tense and slightly panicked looks Lily's table was now getting from the surrounding occupants.

"You look, dare I suggest, both thoughtful and angry." He picked up one of her quills and began twirling it in his fingers. This, as well as his comment, snapped Lily back from her postulating to the present and she turned her attention to her new desk mate.

"You know Potter, for once, you are right on the money. I am feeling both thoughtful and angry. Perhaps you should look into Seeing as a career? It's very... you."

He raised an eyebrow. "For your information, Evans, I am always right on the money; this moment just happens to be a prime example. Also you've written "I am thoughtful and angry" and your writing is very easy to read upside down. Nice disconnected letters. " He sniffed. "And I don't appreciate your insinuations about a Seeing career. I know for a fact that you heard me describe Seers as "pompous, self-aggrandising twerps" yesterday at lunch."

"Potter, if there's one thing you should know by now it's that I tune you out wherever possible, and lunch, thankfully, is possible. But I'm glad you've learnt how to utilise self-reflection. " Lily looked down to see that she had, in fact, written "I am thoughtful and angry" and glanced back up in annoyance. "Great. I now apparently feel the need to subconsciously write down my emotions. Who does that?"

James shrugged wisely. "No one I've ever met. If I were you, Evans, I would go see the school counsellor."

"We don't have a school counsellor."

He nodded again. "One of the greatest failings in this establishment, if you ask me."

"I didn't. You suggested it."

"And what a marvellous suggestion. Both innovative, and caring. Progressive, and economical. School would save a fortune on fixing injuries from duelling and whatnot, if only there was someone around to talk to."

Lily thought he might have a point. "Dumbledore would never go for it. It's much too sensible a suggestion. Why not warm him up slowly, and petition for baby dragon cuddling sessions once a week instead."

James grinned. "Capital suggestion Evans! This is why you'll make a great Head Girl."

"Oh, you should hear the rest of the improvements I've got lined up. Here's Suggestion 17e, under Subsection: Correspondence. You know how currently we use owls to fly back and forth with our post? Think instead... Flobberworm Tunnels." She spread her hands out mid air as if framing the name. There was silence as they both stared into the mid-distance.

After an unreasonably long pause, she continued. "Not only do I think it'll be revolutionary at Hogwarts, I have high hopes of it catching on in the Wizarding World at large.

James was all at once reminded of how extremely deadpan Lily's sense of humour was. Merlin, he loved it. "That is possibly the worst suggestion I've ever heard and I love it."

"Thank you. I'm working on the rest."

"You know what I think would be a tremendous improvement to the school. Monthly staircase racing competitions." He held up a hand at her raised eyebrow.

"Hear me out. Start and finish line, very top and bottom of one the towers. Winner is whoever gets to the bottom first. Any means allowed, the more creative the better."

"You could turn them into a slide, ride on your cape," suggested Lily, warming up very quickly to the idea.

"Until you gain too much momentum and miss-time a stair move," grinned James. "But don't listen to the naysayers. I'd love to see that played out in real time."

They both laughed.

"Would attempting to hex the opponent be allowed?" pondered Lily, before continuing without missing a beat. "Who am I talking to, of course it would."

But of course! Is it a Moving Staircase race without potential hexation? And I'm thinking attempts from the audience would be too."

"Audience?" questioned Lily, smirking. "I should have known a Marauder would never create a batshit crazy game without planning on an adoring audience."

James ruffled his hair, having the grace to look abashed for all of half a second, before continuing bombastically onwards. "You should know me by now, Lily Flower. Anything for an adoring audience."

"I'm thinking I should be writing this down; this sounds like the funnest suggestion since everyone raced across the Lake after partially Transfiguring themselves." She sighed. "I've had human octopus hybrid nightmares ever since. So many were... so bad..." She trailed off.

I hate to correct you, Evans, but 'funnest' is not a word." Lily stopped thinking about tentacles where legs should be and stuck her tongue out at his smirking face, ignoring the funny feeling she got in her stomach as his eyes darted, just ever so briefly, to her mouth. "Actually no, I don't, I love correcting you. But I agree," he continued blithely on, unaware of Lily's sudden embarrassment. What on earth should she be embarrassed about? She decided to store that moment away for later analysis. "That truly was an afternoon to remember. End of fourth year, was it? I don't think the shoddy state of our schools Transfiguration skills has ever been highlighted so wonderfully." He sighed, staring off into the distance with a nostalgic look on his face.

"Back to the matter at hand, though." He slapped his hand on the table, as if to rally himself to action, but succeeding only in making Lily jump, four nearby second years gasp, and Madam Pince glower fiercely from across the room.

Yes, back to the matter," Lily nodded sagely. "Two galleons says I'll beat you to the top of the Gryffindor tower and we can try this terrific new idea in person." With that and a slightly crazed grin, she took off, abandoning her books and running out the library. She'd look pretty stupid, thought James, as he immediately took off after her, if I just stayed where I was. But he laughed out loud as he ran, because they both knew really, that in what universe was James Potter not going to follow Lily Evans' for a bet and try something horrendously stupid?

A/N: Chapter 1 of my first L/J attempt! Please review!