"So? What is it, doc? A broken bone? Broken spirit? Terminal illness?"

"Well, for one I'm not a doctor," Mirajane said with a bit of a tsk, "but from what I can tell, Bickslow, you at most have a bruise on your arm."

"Well, you're not a doctor, so I'd keep your opinions to yourself."

The woman only made a face as she asked the seith, "Bickslow, why did you make me come up here?"

"Well, not for this piss poor bedside manner of yours."

"I typically piss in a toilet, not beside the bed."

For a long moment, the pair only stared one another straight in the eyes. Then Bickslow dropped his visor once more.

"What if I told you, Mirajane," he began as he sat the cot up in the infirmary, unconcerned with moving it seemed, "that I had something life changing to tell you?"

"I don't understand the question."

"What do you mean you don't understand?"

"You're asking me what would happen if that occurred, but how could I know? When I don't know what the life changing information is?'

Bickslow considered this before saying, "Maybe I just tell you why I asked you to come up here."

"And explain why you let me go through the ruse of giving you a full medical exam."

"You're saying you didn't want to check my heart rate for me, Mira?"

"I'm saying I'm actually on the clock right now and if I leave Kinana alone for too long-"

"Alright, alright, alright," he griped. "I'll tell ya what's up."

"Alright, Mira," his babies sang as they floated about. "Papa will tell you."

"See, I'm a simple man, Mira," the seith began. Tapping at his chest, he said, "I have simple tastes. Simple desires. Simple-"

"Bickslow-"

"I need you to help me propose to your sister."

Mirajane blinked. Then she blinked some more. Finally, she began to jump all about.

"Oh, Bickslow, are you serious? Do you really want to do that?"

"Well, I did before you started this bouncing business."

"I'm so glad that you came to me," Mirajane said with a bright grin. "For- Wait, you didn't come to me to ask for her hand or something creepy like that, did you?"

"If I wanted her hand, Mira, I would just cut it off after spiking her drink."

The bouncing had stopped and so had the excitement, but still, Mira was smiling some as she stared at the seith.

"This is just the best thing ever. Honestly, Bickslow, the best."

"Well, world peace would be nice. The abolishing of the slave trade. Making it to where you don't knock your freaking toe into stuff when you're stumbling around in the dark-"

"The best."

"But you're right, anyways," the man continued on with that serious tone he put on when he was, rarely, feeling the need for it. And a proposal (or at least the beginning stages of it, called for such a thing). "I didn't come to you to ask for her hand."

"I hope not." Then Mira frowned, if only briefly. "And I really hope you don't drug her and cut it off either."

"I asked you all the way up here for your help."

"My help?"

"When I think of Lisanna, I think of one thing," the seith insisted. "Her hotter older sister."

"Wait, what?"

"But only because," Bickslow went on with an air of importance, "you and her are around one another so much. So. Freaking. Much. Even when she and I are alone, she's worried about what you're doing."

"Awe."

"Well, gross, but if you're in awe of gross things, sure." Still, the man shook his head some before saying, "If there's anyone that I could go to for help with this whole proposal shit, it's you. You can help me pick out a ring, huh? And figure out how I can do all this? Without it being a complete disaster? I don't care about much, you know, doing things all proper and shit. But this is different. Very different."

Her smile fell back to her face then as Mirajane nodded her head a bit. "Of course, Bickslow."

"So, first thing's first," he began with his head held high, "Are we gonna get this prostate exam out of the way or what?"

"What?"

"Turn my head and cough, eh?"

But she was too blissed out, Mirajane was, to care about much else. Not even the fact she was pretty sure she was assisting a complete psychopath with proposing to her sister.

As he went back downstairs, she took her time, just breathing and counting and anything to calm her nerves. To focus. She did still have a shift to get back to. Not to mention, she couldn't spill the beans. Nope. She had to keep this a secret. From her sister. Her little sister who was going to be married and happy and oh, Mira would get to plan it all. Every single step.

She, herself, wasn't too keen on the idea of marriage. It felt antiquated and false.

"I like the ability to date and be with whoever I want."

Laxus frowned when she got to this part of her retelling of her day, sitting there beside her in bed. He'd been reading, honestly, as he'd taken to doing before bed, but somehow, her words penetrated his train of thought, derailing him right into her typical delusions.

"We're," he told her with a perplex gaze, "dating. Monogamously. Mirajane."

"Well, yeah, sure, but we're not married."

"No," he agreed slowly, "but-"

"And Laxus, I think you're missing my point."

Completely.

"I'm happy. For Lisanna. So happy. And now I'll get to plan the wedding of my dreams without ever having to sign my life away to some man-"

"Jokes on you." He went back to his book. "Having seen you're life, I'd definitely void the contract."

Still, Mirajane could hardly contain herself with the thoughts of her sister's impending engagement. She couldn't tell anyone else, not even Lucy or Cana, who she was just chomping at the bit to. It helped though that most everyone was out on jobs, anyways. Even Bickslow and Lisanna went out on a job together not soon after the conversation the seith had had with the barmaid and, well, with them both gone, she had to talk to someone. And clearly, Laxus wasn't going to be that someone.

"Can you believe," she gushed to Freed, "that Bickslow is going to ask Lisanna to marry him?"

The rune mage, at the moment, was trying to enjoy the fact that Evergreen was off on a solo job (S-Class would be upon them soon) and Bickslow was out on a job with Lisanna in the only way he knew how; having a nice drink, alone, at the bar, while going over a magic tome. It was a good way to unwind.

Until Mirajane Strauss sat at his side.

Freed choked too, a bit, on his drink, before frowning at the barmaid. "What did you just say?" he asked as he only wiped his mouth with a napkin, "Mira?"

"Did you not know?" She didn't feel any shame in this as, honestly, that was Bickslow's fault. Not telling his best friend first. Who could blame her for assuming, of all people, Freed knew? "Well, he is."

"I highly doubt that."

"He told me himself."

"Surely, you misunderstood."

"I didn't."

He raised an eyebrow then at her, Freed did, before slowly questioning, "You are certain of this?"

"Very."

"And your sister plans to...say yes?"

"Well, I dunno about that. But I hope so." And then Mirajane got down to what she really wanted to talk about. "Can you imagine it? The wedding? The dress? And ooh, I know she'll pick me to be her maid of honor. Who else would she pick? We're very close, you know."

"I am aware."

"My only issue," Mira was going right along then, "is that I'm still going back and forth on the color scheme? I mean, I'm sure there'll be plenty time to consider it, but-"

"I'm sure that Lisanna, regardless of how close the pair of you are, will have some say in the matters, yes, Mira?"

That made her pause then, just to study the other wizard. Then she shrugged some.

"You don't get it, Freed," she said with a wave of her hand. "This will be my only real wedding to plan."

"Won't you marry? One day?"

"I'm not the type to be all tied down, you know."

"Damn it, woman." And Laxus, who was, of course, seated at the table with Freed, as he always was, slammed down his newspaper then as he took one of his headphones out while glaring at his girlfriend. "I am right here."

"Oh, dragon, you know what I mean."

"No," he growled at her angrily, "I don't."

Freed only glanced between the two of them before sighing deeply. "I suppose neither of you wish to end this charade before it gets too far?"

"I mean, I'm just saying that I don't wanna be with Laxus necessarily forever," Mira defended, frowning, "not that our entire relationship is a charade."

"Might," the slayer growled, "as well."

"I actually was speaking on Bickslow and his idea to propose to Lisanna." Still, Freed sighed a bit before saying, "But I suppose if the two of you have something you wish to talk about-"

"We don't," Mira assured him. "To either of those."

It was difficult to argue with the finality in her tone. Even Laxus only grumbled while putting his headphone back in.

Mirajane was so giddy over the entire thing though. Too giddy, Freed felt (and Laxus seethed), considering the players involved in her little game. She'd spent the time Bickslow and Lisanna were away contemplating all the cutesy ways in which the seith could ask her younger sister to marry him and while each outdid the other, she never felt as if she landed on the exactly perfect way.

As it would turn out, it wouldn't matter anyhow, her feelings on the matter. Her thoughts. Her considerations. Not even her ideas on decorations or the cake or the wedding dress or anything.

Not because they came back from the trip with their relationship in shambles or even because she'd had a change of heart about facilitating the further progression of her sister's relationship with a man probably not even fit to care for the wooden dolls he had. No. Their relationship was better than ever and Mirajane was more committed than ever to the proposal and wedding and all the excellent things she foresaw stemming from it.

Rather, when they arrived at the hall one afternoon, Bickslow and Lisanna were in high spirits, practically falling off one another as they happily announced to everyone within hearing distance that, in fact, they'd gotten married while they were out on their job. Eloped, maybe, was the right word.

Mirajane preferred betrayal.

Laxus just wished he wasn't around that day. For a multitude of reasons. For one, because the guild immediately shifted into party mode (he honestly felt as if the place was in a constant state of that , anyways) and he was not down for that. At all. For two though, and probably the most important reason, because he knew that Mirajane was not going to take this well.

He was tripping over his feet some, Laxus was, around all the commotion that Lisanna and Bickslow set off in the hall with their announcement, to get over to the bar. To get to his girlfriend. Before...well, he wasn't sure what he was trying to stop. Murder felt likely.

She was behind the bar, where she'd been before they even came in, just standing there, a mug she'd been polishing in hand, staring with wide eyes as the others all descended on her little sister and Bickslow.

"Mira," Laxus whispered over the excitement as he only stood before her. "Are you…gonna be alright? With all this?"

Absolutely not. In anyway. He knew this. The dark look in her eyes told him this. As if he needed to be told it once more. He knew the woman well at that point and they were minutes away from either a meltdown or a shutdown.

He wasn't sure what would be worse in that situation.

Given the party atmosphere, she was needed to serve drinks… Poor Kinana couldn't do it all alone, after all.

"Oi, Boss, did ya hear?" Bickslow escaped the madness (most of the members were far more interested in his apparent bride, anyhow), just to get over to the bar. "I'm a taken man now. So what you gonna get me? For my weddin' gift? Payin' my rent would be nice, but-"

"Bickslow," the slayer growled with a glare, "right now isn't a good-"

"Why," Mira finally spoke, staring straight at the seith, "would you do this? Bickslow? I thought that you told me-"

"Oi, Mrs. Boss," he remarked. "Or should I be Mrs. Lisanna now? Eh? A title in the works. A work in progress. I'll have a lotta time to figure it out, after all. Forever, I guess."

"You," Mira repeated, "guess."

"It's what I said."

"Mira-" Laxus tried once more, but no. There was no saving them. The demon was going to explode. She was. Honestly, she was.

How could Bickslow do this to her? Get her all excited and amped up and then pull some...some...bullshit like this? Huh? How could he do that?

Mira was just about to give him a piece of her mind too (a huge chunk of it, honestly) and Laxus was considering their safest exit route, when Lisanna was finally able to break free a bit too. It was difficult, but she broke through the congratulatory words and hugs and questions just to make it over to her sister who she beamed at so happily and so excitedly and Mira wanted to be upset. She knew she had the right to be. How could they do that? Go and have some sort of courthouse marriage and not include her at all and who's wedding was she going to plan now? Huh?

"Well," Lisanna started with a bright smile as she stood before the bar, "what do you think? Sis? I'm a married woman now."

It fell then, all of it. Deflated. Mira almost dropped the mug then, even, to the ground, as she rushed right around the bar, eyes filled with tears as she only wrapped her arms around her sister. All the anger was washing away and the shock was becoming something different, seeing her sister then, so happy and expecting her to be the same.

"Yeah," Mira sighed as she held her younger sister closely. "You are."

It was a long, intoxicating night up at the guild and Laxus was glad when he finally found his way home, to his own bed, to sleep off what was no doubt going to become a hangover. He was just drifting off when Mirajane suddenly patted at his chest.

"Evergreen," she whispered to him softly, "is going to have to marry Elfman now. You know. And let me plan it all. Marriage is the perfect solution to all their problems, don't you think?"

Laxus only shut his eyes though. "Yeah, demon. I do."

But not theirs.

Thankfully.