Note: This is the sequel to my story, Solace of Gemini, so if you haven't read the shiny, brand-new and improved ending to the epilogue of that story, please go read that before starting up on this story, or else this won't make any sense. For the rest of you, read on, enjoy, and review!
Chapter One: London Emergency Calling
Leon sighed in boredom as he looked out of the window of the private jet that his stepfather, Orin Steel, was piloting over the Atlantic Ocean.
Lewis, happy to be going to London, hummed to himself as he drew in his sketchbook. Leon rolled his eyes at his twin, walked over to the liquor cabinet, and tried pulling open the locked door to no avail.
"Shit...hey Lewis, didja bring the lockpicks?"
Lewis, still humming and drawing, reached in his messenger bag next to him, fished out the leather roll of lockpicks, and tossed them towards his brother without lifting his head up from his sketchbook.
"Thanks. It's weird that Orin locks up his booze like this...it's like he doesn't trust us or something..." Leon said as he successfully picked open the lock on the cabinet. Eyeing the selection available inside, he decided to grab the half-full bottle of Dr. McRuddyduddy's cherry schnapps. Leon poured it's contents into two tumblers with ice, and tossed the empty bottle into the back of the cabinet.
Leon took a grateful drink of the deceptively sweet, bright red liquor, and handed the other glass to Lewis.
The Archer twins had only recently been introduced to alcohol (Archer had taken them to Paris a few months ago where all three of them got completely shit-faced on wine), but they had been casual drinkers ever since then. There was absolutely no doubt that the Archer blood ran in their veins.
Lewis took a large sip of his schnapps, and looked up to his brother sitting across from him at the small table.
"I wonder why Mom decided to take off for London without us last night...", Leon questioned out loud as he took a sip from his tumbler, looking out the window at the clouds racing by below. As he drank, a realization started to form in his young mind as his brother continued drawing.
Lewis shrugged, "Maybe she wanted to...I dunno, surprise him with something. It's Orin's birthday on Sunday..."
Leon clenched his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed with his brother's affection for their stepfather.
He loosened his navy blue necktie, ran a hand through his inky black hair, and drank most of the schnapps left in his tumbler, trying his best to calm himself down as to not lash out at his brother.
"Lewis, don't you think it's at least a teensy bit weird that Mom would take off to England right after Orin fucked up his nose by 'gettin a tad wobbly on 'is pegs' and fell, even though we didn't hear anything except for him and Mom yelling last night?" Leon made air quotes and impersonated Orin's accent.
Lewis, who was much more trusting than his twin, took a contemplative sip from his drink and tapped his pencil on his chin, mulling over the question.
"N-nnnnnnnoo?"
Leon scowled at Lewis, grabbed Lewis's schnapps and downed the remainder of it himself, and, after shoving both empty glasses to the floor, he slid across the small table and grabbed Lewis by his dark green necktie, staring his twin down in his identical blue-green eyes.
"Lewis, dude, WE'VE BEEN FUCKING KIDNAPPED. How obvious does it need to be?!"
Lewis raised an eyebrow at his brother, and was silent a moment.
"No."
Leon's grip on the tie loosened in disbelief of his brother's ignorance, his mouth agape.
"Yes, Lewis, we ha-"
Lewis turned his head away.
"No."
"YES, LEW-"
"NOOOOPE."
Finally, Leon hopped up on the table and shook Lewis roughly by his shoulders.
"YOU FUCKING MORON! ORIN HAS KIDNAPPED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF US!"
Lewis smacked Leon upside his head, and the identical boys fell to the floor, wailing on each other. As they fought, neither of the boys noticed that Orin was standing near the door of the cockpit, watching them.
Eventually, Orin kneeled down and picked up both boys by the backs of their short-sleeved white dress shirts, separating them from each others punches. He stared both boys in their faces.
"All right, you little bastards, listen up, and listen good. From the wee camera in her wedding ring, I saw that that whore mother of yours slept with your asshole father last night, after breaking me fuckin' nose! So to be clear, this is not a bloody kidnapping, it is an escape from the contagious, wretched promiscuity and utter debauchery of your vile excuse of a father!"
Orin, his face red from yelling, narrowed his hazel eyes at the twins, challenging either of them to say something.
Finally, Leon smirked and spat directly into Orin's eye, causing him to drop Leon and Lewis.
"OW, WHAT THE BLEEDING HELL WAS THAT?!" Orin shouted as he writhed blindly on the floor, groaning in pain.
Leon grinned, kicked Orin swiftly in the ribs, and belched loudly. "Ethyl alcohol, you dipshit! I am fucking wasted! Woo!"
Lewis grabbed his drunken brother's arm and pulled him away from Orin. He leaned down next to his stepfather, and reached inside of his messenger bag.
"Orin, are you all right?", Lewis asked as he searched through his bag.
"No, son, I think...I think I may be blind!"
"Good, then you won't see me do this."
Lewis produced a small gun from his bag, stood, and aimed it at Orin's chest. Leon's eyes widened in shock, and dove towards his brother to stop him, but it was too late.
Lewis fired a shot directly into Orin's chest, leaving a brightly-colored dart protruding through their now-unconscious kidnapper's torso.
Leon smacked his forehead in frustration.
"Way to go, Colin Murdoch! You tranked the only guy here that knows how to fly this fruity-ass plane! How the hell are we supposed to...to not crash?!"
Lewis stared blankly into space, just then realizing his mistake. Suddenly, an idea sprang to mind.
"Hmm, maybe we can land this thing ourselves! Go look around for an instruction manual, or at least an emergency radio! I'll go see if I can figure out the controls, because goddamn, man, you are totally shit-faced, you really shouldn't drive anything right now!"
Leon laughed, burped, and started searching the plane as Lewis grabbed his leather messenger bag and ran to the cockpit.
The controls said that it was set on autopilot, and that they had only a quarter tank of fuel left. Lewis looked up, and saw that the GPS screen read that they were well over 1000 miles from Heathrow Airport.
After analyzing the numbers, Lewis realized that they wouldn't have nearly enough gas to make it to London, and he had no idea where the airstrip Orin planned on landing to refuel was.
Panicking, Lewis searched through his messenger bag, trying desperately to find the-
Meanwhile, in NYC
"...ISIS SAT BEACON, DUMBASS! Where is it?!"
Archer yelled at Pam, who was frantically typing away at the keyboard of her computer at her desk, searching the ISIS inventory for the missing satellite beacon.
Archer and Lana had an ISIS helicopter waiting for them at the airport, and the beacon was the final thing they needed before they left to find their kidnapped sons.
"Geez, gimme a minute, ya nutsack! There's like a jillion freakin' things on the inventory list, and whatever genius designed this software didn't think it'd be useful to add a goddamned 'search' option!"
Lana ran into Pam's office carrying two large duffle bags packed with supplies, ammo, and enough grenades to make a pyromaniac blush.
"Archer, c'mon, what's the holdup? The helicopter won't stay grounded forever!"
Archer held up a finger towards Lana, and leaned down to face Pam at eye level.
"FIND THE STUPID BEACON BEFORE I BLEED YOU DRY LIKE ONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED IDIOT FARM ANIMALS!"
Without flinching, Pam narrowed her eyes, pressed a button on her computer, and a sheet of paper rolled out of the printer next to the office door.
Lana grabbed the sheet, and saw a grainy surveillance image of Leon and Lewis stealing the beacon out of her duffle bag before she left on her last mission.
Archer went over to Lana, and sighed in relief.
"Whew, good, that means they have it, so worst case, if they're in any real danger, they can-"
The screen behind Pam's desk rolled up and revealed the beacon's signal was already activated somewhere near the west coast of the UK.
"...point out how inept our security is. Holy shit, Lana, they're in trouble! Let's go!"
Archer dragged Lana out of Pam's office, rushing to get to the airport as quickly as possible.
Pam closed the door to her office from a button on her desk, groaned softly, and rolled her chair back.
Krieger popped his head out from under the desk, gasping for air.
"Was...was THAT any better than last time?"
Pam smirked down at the sweaty scientist, and shoved his head back under her desk.
"Meh, there's room for improvement. Speaking of improvement, no search option? Really? Fix that shit soon. Now, try again, Clone Boy!"
Krieger uttered a nearly inaudible "d'aww" before returning to his...assignment, as Pam smiled and shut her eyes.
It was good to be the boss.
Lewis looked over his right shoulder from the pilot's seat at Leon, who had found instructions on how to land a plane online in an emergency situation on his internet watch. He also found the inflatable safety raft and a few more bottles of liquor, and carried both in his own messenger bag under his arm. The ISIS beacon blinked red next to Lewis.
Leon put the bag and the raft under the passenger seat, and strapped himself into the 5-point harness.
Lewis followed suit with his own harness, and reached up to flip the switch to disengage the autopilot.
The dials on the dashboard spun wildly as the small jet began rattling violently from turbulence as Lewis took over the controls with his small, shaky hands, trying his best to keep the aircraft steady.
"Sh-sh-shhhhit! Okay, Leon, r-read those instructions out t-to me!"
Leon looked at the small screen on his wrist, and struggled to make out the instructions but the plane was shaking too much to read it.
"Umm, y-y-yeah, sorry, but that's n-n-not happening, buddy! Sh-should've thought th-this through..."
"SHIT."
Lewis's grip on the controls tightened as he pulled back on the handles as hard as he could, bracing for impact with the grey ocean coming towards them rapidly.
The boys yelled in unison as the plane crashed into the briny water of the Atlantic before the small jet sank underwater.
The beacon flashed red as it floated on the water above the steaming wreckage.