What You Don't Know
Sara Sidle considered herself a very good observer mostly because it was her job to observe the guilty but sometimes she found observing her fellow coworkers to be even more intriguing. She would observe them unknowingly and found out little traits they wouldn't shout out to anyone. Archie for instance loved gummi bears, could say he was addicted to them really. Sometimes while reviewing tapes with him she would see a small pile of them at the corner of his desk and one time she found him coming back from break with three bags he promptly locked in a drawer. Observing them Sara found it kept her in touch with reality, more down to earth and not sucked into her job. Like Jacqui she always chastised Greg for playing music when he was in the lab, but sometimes she would listen to Britney Spears to unwind her day. Sara knew for a fact Jacqui could sing Baby One More Time in her sleep. Hodges who always projected such a snarky attitude could melt when his nephew call him Uncle Davey, Sara met him once when Hodges's sister came to the lab to visit. She noticed that despite everything that Grissom had told her about work relationships he and Sofia seemed to have one. It bothered her at first, but she realized Grissom was not worth it and her feelings for him had all but gone away. Catherine was trying to suppress her feelings for Warrick and Warrick was trying to cover the fact his marriage was failing. In some ways Sara thought he deserved it for overlooking something so obvious in the form of Catherine Willows. Not that she had any right to judge him because her choices in that dating field weren't that impressive either. It was Nick and Greg though that she came to find were the most mysterious in their ways and she found herself observing them more and more each day. She started to question their relationship after Nick had been buried alive Sara noticed how Greg wouldn't talk to anyone unless it pertained to the case and his cheeks constantly had tear streaks on them. Sara never said anything because she was sure no one else noticed because they were too worried about Nicky to care about anything else. Sara saw though and it made her wonder maybe there was something to them no one knew. It was after Nick was rescued and Catherine and Warrick got into the ambulance that Sara knew something was up. The look Greg got in his eyes, like he was about to lose it or protest that he should have been in that ambulance instead, and maybe he should have.
She remembered now that Greg did not show up at the hospital and Warrick gave him hell for it but Greg never faltered never wavered and just let Warrick berate him in front of the whole lab. Sara almost felt sorry for him, but wondered herself why he did not come. Two days later she walked into the hospital to find Nick's door closed and a nurse standing outside it.
"Is everything ok?"
"Oh yes Miss Sidle, just changing the bandages." Nurse Lynn said with a warm smile. "We're getting use to seeing all you CSIs here."
"Well he is our friend."
"Oh yes, especially that younger fellow."
"Younger fellow?"
"Shaggy hair, too skinny for his own good."
"Greg? He has been here?"
"Everyday, Mr. Stokes seems to perk up every time he sees him."
"I'll be dammned." Sara muttered.
"Excuse me?"
"Oh nothing." Sara wondered just how much she was really missing. Later that night as she and Grissom rounded the corner to Nick's room she found Nurse Lynn smiling as she shut the door.
"Miss Sidle, Mr.Grissom I'm sorry visiting hours are over for the day.
"But we still have a half an hour."
"Mr. Stokes is very tired; he asked that there were no more for the day."
"Understandable." Grissom said in a soft voice. Sara wondered if Greg had been in, but she was rewarded with an answer as she and Grissom passed Nick's room on the way out. Greg was curled in a chair by Nick's side their hands were intertwined as they laid on Nick's chest. A soft smile graced her face and she wondered if Grissom had seen it too.
When Nick had returned to work Sara found herself watching Nick and Greg closer than she ever did before. Nick seemed most tense when Greg was not around, but even if he got one glimpse of the former lab rat his shoulders would sag and a look of relief would cross his face. She even saw them once in the locker room whispering in hushed voices standing much to close to each other to be just friends. She watched Greg run his fingers over Nick's cheeks brushing away what she assumed to be tears.
"Don't worry I've got you." His words were so honest and she watched Nick crumble as he pulled Greg to him. Sara decided to leave because no moment that intimate should be invaded. It was then she got some insight into just how deep their relationship ran. She even asked Grissom about it once, to see if she was right or completely crazy.
"Gris, can I ask you something?"
"Sure Sara."
"Nick and Greg, do they seem to be closer to than they used to be?"
"You saw it to then."
"Saw what?"
"Greg in Nick's room that day at the hospital."
"I did, I wasn't sure if you did."
"Do you think they are more Sara?" She pieced together all the things she had noticed so far and everything was pointing to something no one would say.
"Yes I do they think they are."
"Then you have your answer." A very Grissom like answer, did she really expect anything else?
She continued to watch them through out the weeks, gaining no more evidence then what she already had until the day tragedy struck again. She and Nick were going over evidence for their hit and run case with Grissom when his cell phone went off.
"Grissom." Sara could hear a frantic Catherine on the other end, the words hospital and now making her pale. Catherine and Greg had been working on a B&E gone bad on the wrong side town and if Catherine was calling that could only mean one thing…
"Ok Cath please calm down it will do no good, I will be right there." He hung up the phone and held her breath.
"Gris what is going on?" Nick's voice was quivering, and Sara could not believe this was happening.
"Greg has been shot, its touch and go right now." Sara watched as Nick's face contorted and she knew he was trying not to breakdown.
"Come on Nicky, we are all going to go." Sara said as he she reached out and took his hand. "We're going to him." Nick could only nod and it was then Sara knew they weren't only in a relationship, they were deeply in love and that was being tested again.
They found themselves at the hospital ten minutes later, Catherine running up to them tears streaking her face.
"What happened Catherine?"
"The police said it was clear so we went in. I had upstairs and Greg was outside around the back, all of a sudden I heard a shot and then more. I ran downstairs and…and Greg was on the ground and there was so much blood…"
"It's ok Cath you can stop, have the told you anything?"
"Nobody will tell me anything because I am not family….Nick…" but Nick was already walking up to the nurse's station and Sara prayed the nurse was smart enough to give Nick what he asked for.
"Sir I am sorry I can't release that information to you, only family."
"He's my husband, it's on his records." Sara swore she saw the nurse shrink into her seat and apologized profusely which only agitated Nick more, and then it hit Sara Nick had said husband, how much had they really missed? She could tell Catherine and Grissom were as shocked as she was but said nothing. Nick came over five minutes later and she noticed he was taking something out of his pocket and slipping it on his finger, a thin band of silver.
"Any news?"
"He is in surgery, they said he lost a lot of blood, they don't know if he will go into a coma or not." Nick could hardly get the words out, he was crumpling again and Sara was the first to step up to let him know it was ok to cry.
"Let go Nicky, sometimes we don't have to be so brave." And that's what did it, he clutched her like she was his last link to reality, and she let him.
"I can't lose him Sara; I don't know what I will do."
"Don't think that way, Greg loves you and he won't give up without a fight." She felt Nick nod against her shoulder and she knew Catherine and Grissom were probably staring but she didn't care Nick needed this comfort.
Two hours later found them still waiting and Nick hadn't spoken since his earlier breakdown, he just stared into space his hand gripping Sara's.
"Mr. Stokes?" Nick's head jerked up startling Sara who was almost asleep.
"Yes?"
"We had to take this off Mr. Sanders when he went into surgery." She deposited a silver chain into Nick's palm attached was a ring that matched Nicks. Sara watched as he clutched the ring like it was the only thing he had left of Greg. Sara carefully pried his fingers open and picked up the chain and slipped it over his neck.
"Never let go." She whispered and Nick could only nod as tears dripped to his cheeks.
Hours later and still no word, Nick had finally fallen asleep from exhaustion and worry. Grissom and Catherine had to leave, but Sara stayed not wanting to leave Nick alone. Finally though she saw the doctor walking over to them and she poked Nick in the ribs.
"Nick, the doctor is coming." Nick was up the instant he heard the word doctor.
"Mr. Stokes, I am Dr. Hurly and Nurse Conley has informed me you are Mr. Sander's husband."
"Yes I am, it has been hours, how is he?"
"Stable, he lost a lot of blood, but we managed to remove the bullet, but we lost him in coma an hour ago." Sara reached out and gripped his hand, letting him know she was still there.
"How…how long?"
"Could be hours, could be days we aren't sure." Sara felt Nick's grip on her weaken and his breath hitch.
"Can I see him?"
"Just you for now." He said as he glanced at Sara.
"Go on Nick, he'll need to hear your voice." Nick nodded and glanced back at her as the doctor led him away.
Sara jerked at the sound of someone sitting down next to her and opened her eyes to see Catherine staring back at her.
"How could we have missed this?"
"They did a good job hiding it."
"God, I wonder how Greg felt when Warrick and I got that in ambulance, it should have been him."
"We didn't know, did you know Greg saw him everyday?"
"But I never saw him there."
"He was there, I think the nurse's bent the rules for him but Grissom and I saw him one night curled up next to Nick."
"And now not even seven months later it is the other way around."
"It's not fair the world keeps testing them like this." Sara sighed. "They deserve happiness."
"God works in mysterious ways Sara."
"All I know is that Nick can't lose him Cath, I don't know what he will do if he does."
"Don't think that way Sara, Greg is a fighter." Catherine whispered with tears in her eyes.
"I know."
Catherine and Sara were finally allowed to see Greg some hours later and Sara felt a weird sense of dejavu as he walked the long corridor to ICU. They paused at the door which was cracked open; Nick was sitting by the bed running his fingers over Greg's pale cheeks whispering softly. Catherine and Sara stood outside for a moment reveling in the fact they were witnessing love in its purest form right in front of them.
"Don't give up Greg." Sara whispered so soft she was sure Catherine did not even hear it. "Nick needs you here."
Nick looked up as Sara and Catherine entered the small room, but he did not move from his chair.
"The doctor still doesn't know when he will wake up, or if he will." His voice was hoarse and Sara knew he was trying to be strong. "If I lose him I…" he couldn't even finish his sentence before Catherine and Sara were hugging him close. No words were said between the three of them, what really could be said?
Three days later Sara blinked her eyes as the ringing of her phone awoke her from her slumber, not that she was getting much sleep anyway.
"Hello?"
"Sara it is Grissom, Greg is awake."
"I'll be right over." She hung up the phone and released the breath she was holding. She felt her eyes moisten and didn't even try to stop the tears that were beginning to fall, maybe now they could have their happy ending.
She was surprised to see only Grissom there when she arrived.
"Nick went home to get some sleep and a shower, Greg all but made him go." Grissom said with a soft smile.
"Only Greg would worry about others while he's the one in the hospital."
"He's still awake, go in and say hi." Sara nodded and pushed the door open to find Greg staring off into a far corner of the bleak room.
"Hey sleeping beauty you gave us quite a scare."
"I know." He frowned. "Did Nick go home?"
"He sure did, but you know he will be back soon."
"I know." He sighed. "I hated that I put him through this."
"Hey, hey it's not your fault." She said softly as she touched his hand, which she noticed bore the silver ring. "Don't let me hear you blame yourself again, ok?"
"Ok." He nodded slightly. "So I guess everyone know now."
"Why did you keep it a secret for so long? Why did you guys feel like you had to hide?"
"Because of the lab, because of Ecklie, he'd rip us apart and we weren't sure how you guys would react."
"Oh Greg." Sara sighed. "You didn't have to. And this?" she asked as she gestured to the ring on his left hand.
"Oh that." Greg said with a smile. "That is fairly new. We got them after Nick…you know, we had everything changed, medical contacts, wills, power of attorney, everything. We had a small commitment ceremony in San Francisco, we know it's not legal or anything but the way we see it we are married."
"The ring it's beautiful."
"We picked them out together at a jeweler outside the city, someone who would not judge."
"Greg how long have you been together?"
"Almost four years now, soon after the lab explosion."
"You have been hiding it for that long?"
"Yes."
"I wish you guys would have said something." Sara sighed.
"We just felt it was best if we did not."
"Greg?"
"Yeah?"
"Will tell me how it happened?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yes I do."
"Ok it was kinda funny actually…"
Flashback
Greg didn't really want to answer the door, but whoever it was would not stop knocking till he did.
"Nick?"
"Hey G, can I come in?"
"Sorry, so what brings you by?"
"I just wanted to see you since I did not stop by the hospital."
"I'm doing ok I guess." He shrugged. "I can't sleep on my back and it's a chore trying to put this cream on my back."
"Do you need help? I mean I could do it if you want."
"Oh I don't know, wouldn't that be weird Nick?"
"We're friends let me help you."
"Ok." He gave in reluctantly. "I'll go get it." He made his way to the bathroom and let out a breath, Nick touching him was so not a good idea because he was quite sure he would have a hard time controlling himself.
"What are you getting yourself into Greg?" he muttered as he walked back into the living room.
"That it?"
"Yeah." He said handing the tube over to Nick and then carefully removed his shirt. He heard Nick's soft gasp and he could imagine Nick was thoroughly disgusted. "Look Nick you…" but his words stopped when he felt a cool hands touch his heated back carefully spreading the lotion over the angry red marks. He tried to think about Hodges naked or his elderly next door neighbor Mrs. Farris so as not to think about Nick's hands on him, but that was not working very well.
"This doesn't hurt you does it?"
"No." And he knew it came out more like a moan of pleasure not pain. "It's fine."
"You're amazing you know that."
"How I am amazing?"
"To be so strong after what happened."
"I'm not strong Nick, you know I cried when I saw my back for the first time, to see myself scarred forever who wants someone like me with these marks marring my body, and they are hideous."
"No they are not, they're beautiful."
"Really?" Greg asked swallowing hard.
"They're a part of you and you're beautiful." Greg sucked in his breath was Nick really calling him beautiful or were his medications kicking in and he was hallucinating?
"You don't mean that."
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it Greg." Nick said as he moved around to face Greg.
"Is there something I am missing here?"
"I think we have ignored this long enough."
"Ignored what?" Greg gulped, suddenly very nervous.
"Everything we are." Nick whispered just as his covered Greg's.
End
"And I swear Sara, I could not breathe. I did not know what to think, but I knew how right it felt."
"And that was it?"
"That was it, I knew he was it Sara, he would always be it."
"Now I see it, you two are good for each other."
"I know it." He smiled softly.
"Hey you two am I interrupting anything?" Sara looked up and smiled at Nick who stood in the doorway.
"Of course not, I have to get going anyway."
"You can't stay?"
"Sorry Greg, work calls, but I'll be back later."
"Ok." Greg nodded.
"Bye Nick."
"Bye Sara." He smiled. She went to walk out the door, but paused taking a quick peek back at Nick and Greg. Nick was sitting next to the bed, letting his fingers brush through Greg's hair. She smiled and then left them to be alone.
A month later found Greg back at work in the lab because Mia was on vacation, but Sara knew Nick was probably happy that Greg was put there. Sara even figured that Greg did not mind it much and he was even reverting back to his old lab rat self bad music and all. She watched Nick and Greg closer than ever now seeing if they changed their habits since practically the whole lab knew about them. She noticed the rings first; Nick had his on since the day at the hospital. When Greg came back she noticed he had his ring on too, it made her heart swell knowing they were starting to be more open at work. She could see them now in the break room, Greg was leaning his head on Nick's shoulder and their hands were intertwined together. She remembered telling Grissom some people were not meant to be together, but Nick and Greg they were something special. She smiled at the thought and then made her way away from the break room she'd give them their peace before shift. Yes, she mused, those two were written in the stars.
THE END