Damn it Cas! Where the hell are you?
It's been weeks, you keep leaving us.
Cas, stop leaving… please.
I can't keep losing you, because one day, you might leave me for good. I couldn't deal with that, not after everything we've been through, all the hell we've dealt with, I couldn't handle you leaving me for good.
I need you, Cas.
Maybe you just can't fly down right now, maybe you can't come back soon. Maybe you don't even give a fuck about me… if I don't make it out of this alive, watch over Sammy. Please. Make sure he gets his shit together and goes off to live a normal life. Make sure he dies when he's old and gray. He needs that…. he deserves that.
… Sometimes I'm not even sure if you hear me anymore, you don't answer me like you used to. I guess I expect you to come to me immediately. I shouldn't…. you've got more important shit to deal with than me. Maybe I just don't mean as much to you anymore. I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
But just… come back soon. If not for my sake for Sam's. He needs your help. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine…
I don't miss you.
I don't love you.
I can't love you, I don't deserve you.
I'm too fucked up, I'll corrupt you, I already have.
I don't love you, Cas.
But I do.