"Hey mione...

I don't know why I am writing this ,well I do, but I don't know why I'm writing it as you very well know I'm rubbish at it. But this is the best way I can tell you all the things I want you to know in case ... well , in case I'm not there to tell you myself.How do I start ...I love you! yes. I love you so much , that's the thing that keeps going in my head all the time. Never , ever , never forget that. I love you soooo much , and our little one too. Merlin we are going to be parents in a few months. Phew...I can't believe we did it. I mean I can't believe I did it , you are brilliant. I know it was hard for you . A hole year of trying . You always doubted yourself , but I never did . It was what that bitch balatrix did to you , it damaged you internally , the healers said that ,and I can't believe I'm getting this chance to say to you I told you so. I told you everything will be alright and now see , we are going to have a little one soon. After everything they threw at us we are still here together and they are ash.Ha! they never stood a chance against us because we got you .You are brilliant . I love you and ever since you told me you were pregnant my love have only increased for you.

But my worries too . This job , being an Auror, its an Honour and I never thought I could become one but the war changed us and it feels good to know that I'm helping to make this world a better and safer place just like you and Harry . After the war ended , when Kinsley Told us he needed people he could trust and invited us to join the aurors training program, my first thought was NO! I just wanted to pack our bags take you hand and disapparate to some muggle placs where they could never find us . I mean yes I wanted to become an auror in school days but didn't we just fight a war , I had enough of fighting for a lifetime , didn't I just lose my brother and friend in this war , and I have to do it all over again.But then I thought what if there is another Tom riddle out there preparing to take over the world and I did nothing to stop him , it would be unfair to fred , tonks , remus and all the people who sacrificed themselves . Thier sacrifice would go in vien . So I joined the academy became an Auror. Do I regret my decision? No. Yes being an Auror is not piece of cake , office politics , constant risk of life , guilt ,pressure ,all are pain in the arse. But you can overlook all of these things for one feeling , the feeling whenever I get when we put a death eater in azkaban , everytime I look at the sky and say "I got another one for you fred" . That feeling makes all the pain I endure woth it , because I know I'm making the world safe for every one , for my family. For you.

But the worse part of the job is going on a mission and not being sure if I will come back to you. I know you worry too , I know you can't sleep when I'm not next to you in bed cause I can't either , you can't concentrate on work , you barely eat , you don't smile , ginny tells me , now don't go kill my sister , i have only got one you know . I don't know why you put up with me but for some merlin knows reason you do so I'm not complaining. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into when I joined the ranks so we knew we have to go through these things. And luck is on our side till now so that's a good thing . I have been able to put these things aside , but after my last mission I'm worried sick . I just can't stop myself from thinking what would have happened if I was in place of Bert . He was one of the best , but he is not anymore and it remindes me no one is immortal no matter how good and powerful he is .Really you would think I don't need my colleague to die to get that lesson , I fought in a bloody war. But I never forgot it . It was just easier to brush the feeling aside till someone close to me died.

Actually, he is the reason why I'm writing this letter , after his funeral I was given the job to return his all possession to his family . They gave me everything he had from his office .As you know Bert wasn't married nor had any girlfriend , and his parents died long ago , the only close family he had was his sister Joana his husband and her twin toddlers. So I went to her house and said sorry for his brothers death and handed her everything , apparently she is blind and her husband wasn't home , (I wondered how she manages her kids) ,so I told her whatever I brought was, Berts watch , some photos, His uniform ,some random stuff and a letter.She was meant to receive it in case he died ,he mentioned it in his will. She told me to read it and I said no it was personal but she said it was okay and I read it and... and I'm glad she was blind because I don't like crying in front a woman except my mum and my wife. He told her how much he loved her , how his mum and dad loved her and that she was the most beautiful sister on planet , he had nominated her for all his wealth as well as his parents wealth . He asked her to tell the kids stories about how great thier uncle was . And he was great. By the time I finished the letter Joana was a mess and I was shaking . After that day I could not ignore the possibility anymore that I could die on my next mission and I wanted to do what bert did , I wanted to tell you How much I loved you .

God , I'm not getting to the bloody point , am I ? . I'm rambling, Not writting the stuff I'm actually meant to write . Because I'm a coward mione , I'm supposed to say goodbye but I don't want to , Shit but I have to .So I should get to the point.Alright.

Hermione if you are reading this ,then I'm dead. If you're reading this it means I broke my promise I made at shell cottage during the war , I left you ,again . I'm sorry mione but know this love this time it wasn't in my hands , this time you know I love you and I know you love me . I'm sorry I left you to raise our child alone , I'm sorry I caused you so much pain but just remember that I loved you with all my heart , even in my last thoughts there were only you. As your husband I just want you to know a few things , I made a will , whatever I earned till date its all yours execpt some I left for mum and dad . I know you can take care of yourself and all that but I will rest in peace knowing I left something for my wife and my kid. My dilumenator is for our kid when he or she grows up , my broom as well. Well thats all I had you greedy women . Just kidding!.

These few lines are meant for my little one ... so ... Hi kid (sorry don't know if you are a boy or a girl nor do I know your name .sorry) , I'm your dad. I don't know if you are reading it or if your mum is reading it to you , I want you to know that your daddy was so much in love with you even before you were born . Just know that daddy is very sorry because he is not there but don't worry alright , you have your mum and uncle harry and ginny and grandad and grandmum and uncle George ( don't believe anything funny he says about me ok) and uncle bill , percy , charlie and dad's so many friends. You will never fell alone. I want you to be brave because you have to take care of your mum for me okay.Dad loves you.Now give the letter back to mum.

Alright mione , that's all I had to say.

I really hope you never have to read this but in case you do just know that I want you be happy even if I'm not there . I will be watching you , don't know how , but I believe as a ghost or a star or whatever way I have to . I will always be there in you heart . live a 100 years , do all good for magical creatures , become minister of magic ( I will vote for you , somehow ) , take all your time and then come to me . I will be waiting for you.

Yours

Ron."

Fat tears were running down Hermione's face by the time she finished the letter. She was shaking hard and instinctively stroked her 6 months belly. All her senses had became numb. She stared at the letter in her hand could not believe if it was real or not. She tried to focus on her breathing . Panicking would not be good for her child . She tried to think when he wrote this letter , she remembered when bert died , he was in Ron's team , she had met him a few times , she was pregnant with Rose at the time , that was 3 years ago .

Ron was walking through busy ministry hallways , trying to make his way to his department while balancing his and hermione's lunch in one hand and readjusting her daughter in his other arm. She had gotten quite chubby . He watched as her eyes wondered from one person to another . Her mind trying to make sense of the chaos while she through rapid questions his way about this and that.He obliged happily and kissed her one the nose . She squeaked in that heart warming way and grinned at him . God he loved her. Hermione surprised him today with visiting him at his lunch break with rose. She was at her maternity leave , forced into it more so as she said she could handle the work with her pregnancy . He chuckled at her beautiful wife's stobern antics. She was meant to be at home relaxing but god could she do that . Still as long as she was just visiting him and not sneaking into her office he was happy. More than happy actually , he was just doing boring paperwork when she showed up with a very cheary rosie . They chatted for a while and then he told her he would go and bring them some lunch but Rose insisted on going with him. He looked at his watch and increased his pace , he still had half hour before his lunch break is finished.

When Ron reached his office he heard someone crying inside . His auror instinct kicked in , he quickly lowered rose to the ground and set the food bags down as well. Panicking that someone has hurt his wife he dashed into the room.He froze at the sight.

"Hermione!"

He found his wife sitting at his desk crying her heart out. "what's wrong lo- "he couldn't finish because his eyes landed on the letter in his wife's hand. fuck...he thought she wasn't supposed to see that . He had completely forgotten about that letter . He didn't even remember where he had stashed it. oh why , why hadn't he locked his drawers.

"mommy..." Rose was looking at her mother with a anxious face.

Hermione stared at Ron with a blank look her cheeks tear strained.

Her daughter's voice broke Ron's shocked look and he took a step towards his wife with a pained look on his face and open his arms for her ." oh love... c'mere " Hermione dashed from the desk and launch herself at her husband and punched him straight in the chest "owww..." and then his shoulder " aaa..." and then at every possible place she could reach . " fuck ... mione stop it "

Ron yellped and tried to shield himeself with his forearms .

Rose lached onto her mother's leg and cried " mommy stop... N-no hit daddy" .Hermione grabed Ron's robes and sobbed " h-how could you R-Ron...how c-could you...even think...you p-promised ...why d-didn't you talked to me...you..." she couldn't finish and buried her head in his chest and cried . Rose was openly crying also . Ron wrapped his arms around Hermione and tried to sooth her "Shhh...shhh"

but Hermione broke apart abruptly , picked up Rose and ran out of his office.

"mione..." Ron called out for her but she was already running towards nearest departmental Floo called out address to third cottage and vanished in green flames .

Ron just stood there and felt a dozen eyes of his co-workers on him . He muttered something about pregnancy hormones before grabbing some floo powder and went after his wife .

When he arrived home was find her ladies both crying their eyes out. ok ron take charge ... you can handle this he thought .First he took Rose out of Hermione's arms and shushed her . She was really exhausted from all her days drama so she went to sleep easily , Ron took her to her room and laid her in the bed . When he came down Hermione had stopped crying except occasional hiccuping. When she saw him she again launched herself at him but only to hug him for her dear life. Ron sighed and picked her up in his arms and sat down on the sofa with Hermione in his lap.

He ran his hand soothingly on her back . "I'm sorry" Hermione murmured into his shoulder.

"Its okay love " Ron replied .

"how could you even think of ..."

"You know the reality mione , But I wrote the letter almost 3 years ago when you were pregnant with rose , Bert was dead and just couldn't shake the feeling that I might not return to you one day so I just wrote it , as much as I wanted to tell you how much I love you I also wanted to reassure myself that everything will be alright"

" But why didn't you talked to me about it , if you were feeling so low at the time, you know the rule don't you no secrets between us"Her voice was firm but not angry anymore .

" I did talked to you about it , but writing that letter made me feel better , like I was sorting myself, and you were pregnant I just didn't wanted to make you worry. and everything eventually did got well didn't it , I got promoted to head strategist and I don't do field job anymore and I come home to you every day." Ron smilled at her and pecked her on her red nose.

"and you better keep doing that.." she was trying to sound strict but her smile betrayed her.Ron rubbed her belly and kissed her on the forehead.

" I will . Promise ." Ron said and pulled her closer.They laid on the sofa for a few moments in silence .

"mione..." Ron murmmed

"hm.." she said

"You hit really hard".