"Mom, you cannot make me go in there!"

"Oh, Eric honey you'll be just fine. There are other kids like you here and I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends."

"They're not like me at all! They're a bunch of fat-"

"Eric Cartman!" his mother scolded. "Young man you are going whether you like it or not! I'm glad Mrs. Broflovski suggested it the other day. All this eating is making you aggressive."

'Damn evil Jews' he thought. 'Always trying to make this world a worse place.' "They're brainwashing you mom! Can't you see? Mrs. Broflovski is an evil bi-"

"That is enough! You're going and that's final." Eric huffed. 'Stupid woman, falling victim to the Jews.' They stepped through a pair of glass doors emblazoned with the initials WCC. Eric looked around suspiciously.

"Welcome to WCC!" An all too cheery voice called out. "And you must be," she looked at her list then to Eric,"Eric Cartman! What a pleasure!" She shook his mother's hand and introduced herself. "My name is Lyndsy Homan and I am the head councilor here at WCC-"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on," he interrupted," your name is Lyndsy Ho-Man?" She nodded her head. Eric burst out in laughter. "No kidding? HAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BREATH! LYNDSY HO- MAN? That's worse than that ho Lindsey Lohan!" He wiped a tear from his eye and sighed, clutching his stomach. The councilor's cheeks were on fire. Eric's mother apologized immediately and chastised him.

"Eric Theodore Cartman, you apologize right now!" Eric continued laughing.

"HO-MAN! THAT'S PRICELESS!"

"Um, I'm really sorry. I'm really hoping this will help him with his aggression problem." Eric stopped laughing.

"Mom! I said I don't have a problem!" The councilor smiled cheekily.

"Well then, Eric, seems like you'll be with me and Mr. Thompson."

"Okay then, can I have just one minute to use the bathroom?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Okay but hurry back hun," his mother replied.

Eric ran into the bathroom knocking down another child to get through.

"Move kid!" The boy ran out crying. Eric looked around hurriedly. He spotted a window above the sinks. "Bingo."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Oh yes Mrs. Cartman, I'm sure you're son will love it here, all the children do."

"MOOOOOOOOM!" A boy ran towards them wailing. Lyndsy looked down at her son.

"Tristan what's wrong?"

"S-some kid p-pushed me d-down in the bathroom!" She shot a look at Mrs. Cartman. They both walked to the restroom.

"Eric come out this instant!" she yelled through the door.

"Just a minute!" he called back.

"NOW OR I'M GOING IN THERE!"

"Hold on!"

"I'm giving you to the count of three, one!"

"Just a second!"

"Two...Three!" Mrs. Cartman walked in and looked around. Eric held his breath. She looked in all the stalls. "Where is he?" she mumbled. She turned to Lyndsy, who was staring up, and followed her gaze.

"There he is! That's the kid!" he yelled. Eric was stuck halfway through the window. He wiggled his legs to try and free himself but to no avail.

"Need a little help?" His mom burst out in laughter.

"Mom! This is not funny!" he whined.

"I'm sorry hun that's just so... ironic," she laughed. His butt and stomach jiggled everytime he tried to move.

"GAH! GET ME OUT!"

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Lyndsy had called the fire department and they arrived ten minutes later.

"Yup, he's stuck pretty good all right," the fireman commented. "Somebody hand me the Jaws of Life."

"That won't hurt him, will it?" his mom asked worriedly.

"Of course not... at least not much..."

"WHAT? OH NO, NO, NO, NO!" The fireman pried the frame up and off. Cartman slipped out.

"Oh thank you sir! If there is anything- Anything- I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask."

"MA!"

"Well, his first class should be ready to start in a couple of minutes -"

"Its Ms. Cartman," she winked at the fireman.

"MA!"

"Mama is busy right now Cartman."

"Lets go Cartman," the councilor said happily. 'Damn Ginger! They're just as bad as Jews.'

She led him to a small room with a bunch of chairs in a circle. At least fifteen other kids were there. Cartman peered around.

"HAHAHA! CRAIG? What are YOU doing here?"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: I was bored and I wanted some South Park C: I also felt like writing about Cartman so I came up with this. This is only gonna be two parts just cuz I felt like writing and I need to work on my skills. Anyways, like? Hate? Review!

-NobodyheartXIII