I don't own Torchwood, I'm just playing with it.

a/n.: not Jack and Gwen friendly. you were warned, so if you flame because of it, i'm just gonna point and laugh at you.

They were going at it. Again, he added mentally, and couldn't stop the irritated sigh that escaped his lips. He quickly looked back at them to check if they've noticed him, but he shouldn't have bothered. They were too wrapped up in staring at each other to notice anyone else.

Ianto shook his head sadly, then turned around with the intent of walking away. He planned to spend the rest of the afternoon in the archives, reorganizing and replacing the files that got mixed up or destroyed during the 'stolen Earth' incident, as they called it.

He was almost back in his domain when he made the mistake of looking up. Then he cursed every deity he knew, because he caught a glimpse of Captain John Hart staring at the pair with an expression on his face that Ianto could easily read. He's seen it on himself enough times to recognize it anywhere.

It was jealousy, mixed with the classic sign of a broken heart. It looked downright pathetic on a man like John.

Despite his better judgement, he turned back and made his way over to the other man. For a while neither of them said anything. They were just standing in a comfortable silence, watching the pair's stares turn into lusty glances.

Ianto broke the silence, "Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked.

"Why do you?" came the not-quite-answer.

It was a good question. Why did he do this to himself? The sex was good, but Jack clearly didn't care about him –he would have stopped himself from flirting with Gwen if he did. Or at least he would've done it where Ianto couldn't see them. Fortunately Ianto was way past of caring about the Jack-Gwen show. Well, almost. It still hurt to see them together, but emotionally he was getting over the older man.

"It's different. We're different. I'm Torchwood, I can't just walk away. Not if I want to keep my memories of the last six years," he answered. It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. Ianto had no illusions. He knew that if he ever left Torchwood, Jack'd come after him and make him forget everything without a second thought. He wasn't Gwen.

"Is your memories worth the humiliation, Eye Candy?" asked John, then added, "I would choose the Retcon any day over your situation."

"Then why don't you? You could just simply leave. He wouldn't miss you, and I'm not saying this to hurt you. He wouldn't miss me either."

"Why not?" asked John. He was still watching the pair, but now he sounded more curious than heartbroken. That was a good sign, thought Ianto, then shook off the relief he felt over that. He had better things to do than to worry about another self-centered Time Agent. He steered his mind back to the topic.

"Because he could have and love us. And we both know that he loves to wallow in self-pity," he answered, causing John to look at him. "He is immortal, Captain, and he uses that as an excuse. 'Oh, I can't get close to you, because you will die and leave me,'" he mocked bitterly. "He doesn't want to understand that he doesn't have to be alone, that he can love people despite their mortality."

"Well, from here it looks like he is really smitten with our favorite PC."

"Because he can't have her. She is married. He keeps himself occupied with somebody he can never have. Well, scratch that. He could have her right in this minute, she'd leave Rhys without thinking. But he doesn't let her."

"So you're saying that he makes her miserable, so he can stay miserable too? And she just lets him? Pretty insane logic. And cruel. But kinda true," amended Hart, then after a moment he snorted. "Talk about misery loving the company."

Ianto ignored the last quip, though he secretly agreed with the man. "She lets him, because he makes her think that it's her decision. And this way she gets to play that she is the one sacrifying her happiness by staying with her husband, that she is the martyr of the story. And of course, Jack can continue to pity himself."

"That's really twisted."

"Welcome to Torchwood, run while you can. Really. Get out of here before you start to put up with anything just to keep the most horrible memories one could think of. Just because you don't have a life to make better ones," he advised, thinking about Canary-wharf. When did it become one of his most prized possessions?

"Maybe you're right. I think I hear that fantastic bar on Luxuria III calling my name," he said, then started to fiddle with his vortex manipulator. A moment later John looked back at Ianto, and again, the younger man was somewhat relieved to see that the melancholy was replaced with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "You know, Eye-Candy, I was told that I'm very good at making good memories," he waggled his eyebrows, "So, fancy a drink at the end of the universe?"

Ianto snorted. He liked the dirty-minded John Hart much more than the lovesick one.

"That's the worst pick-up line I've ever heard," he said, but soon he found himself contemplating the offer. It's not like Jack'd ever notice if he left with John. Well, not until the older man was due for another coffee. He could just leave and come back tomorrow, saying that he went home because he wasn't feeling well. Or he could just simply not come back. The universe was a big place, with a lot of things to see, and he seriously doubted that Jack'd search the whole space and time just to bring him back.

So right before John activated his manipulator, Ianto stopped him.

"Change of mind about the memories, Eye-candy?" leered John knowingly.

"Buy me that drink first, Spaceboy," answered Ianto with a smirk that would have made Owen proud.

He clasped the Time Agent's offered hand, and a moment later they were gone.

OoOoOoO

Misery loved company. It was an eternal truth.

But it wasn't the only thing that was more enjoyable with a partner.

A movie? Usually. A date? Couldn't happen without one. Love? Definetly.

Naughtiness? Hell yeah...