First of all I want you to read this: This is my first attempt writing something like a fanfic in English so it MAY have A LOT of mistakes, I know. But I'd like to know where they are and keep improving myself. If you have, at the end, any recommendations, that would be awesome.
- The Maze Runner does not belong to me; it belongs to James Dashner-sama
- Angst
- My POV ( I know, wtf)
- SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't read The Death Cure stop now, or you'll be spoiled to blood tears
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Minho's aftermaths
That moment when you relizes the last thing Minho and Newt did was fight…
That in the last Newt's days, he and Minho had a fight, and then a lot of discusions.
Somewhere, in my mind, i think that Minho wanted to believe that one day he would meet Newt again. And even at Paradise he still thinks of that. No matter how impossible it looks.
Because he has to stay strong and not let himself fall. He has to stay always strong for the others, always confident, as the leader. He knows that if he starts thinking too much about his friend his mind would make it bad for him, reminding and imagining a lot of ways to die of Newt. So he tries to distract his mind for not to think about him.
He prefers thinking he's still alive. Crazy, but alive. That may be just a nightmare for his injured and nostalgic friend but Minho just doesn't want to accept Newt being dead. And he will never talk about it. He will never bring up Newt at the conversation. He would change the topic of a conversation if someone names Newt.
But even if being alive would be the worst option for Newt, even if being dead would be better for him, Because how can someone like Newt lose control until being Past the Gone? that guy who always acted calmly and prudent, the guy who had always a solution. Even if Newt wasn't immune, even if the Flare was way that aggressive and lethal, that wouldn't be enough to beat up his Newt, because he just wouldn't let madness trap him. Because Newt would always find a way to get out of problems, to keep calm and staid, no matter how bad and troublesome they are.
He knows about his limp, he knows about how Newt was, he knows what the better solution was at the end. But, maybe in a selfish way, he won't accept that, not in his mind. Outside of it, the world can be like a total different klunk but he doesn't care. Because his only shelter is his mind. Not his memories, not his new life. Not Thomas. But his mind. His isolated mind, empty of painful memories, even if they're happy, memories became a torture, they all are gray now. He doesn't have a lot of them anyway. His mind. Empty of new and unknow troublesome things about the world and people. Empty of plain worries.
Minho just will never think of Newt as if he were dead. He'll be always alive for him.
[And he's not stupid, he knows Thomas got something he doesn't know, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about those kind of things anymore. He knows Thomas suffers too; he listens, while hanging around the hamlet at night, Thomas sobs and whinings result of his Nightmares. Anyway, he has not the strenght to make something about it, neither with Newt after his suicide attempt, it was Alby who did it. If Thomas'd like help he'd ask for it, meanwhile, Minho'll just overlook. And he know the better thing they could do is talk about it, but he won't do it, because he knows there's something Newt and Thomas didn't trusted on him, and that thought hurts him, so he just ignores this too. He doesn't want to feel pain anymore.]
And those rarely moments Minho lets himself remember, he'll go to the beach cliff and stare at the blue sea (just at afternoon, when it stained the color-like Newt's eyes), to let flow those tears accumulated for long 'till they hurt. Because he couldn't save him. Twice. And because he doesn't know how long he has to wait until they meet again. Until they settle up.
Until he can say: I'm sorry.
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Thanks for reading
And sorry for the mistakes -