"You want me to do what?" I exclaimed while pacing.
"I already told you. It is your fault that you cannot comprehend it" he responded with a slight sneer.
"Then help me understand Severus!"
"Fine…" Severus sighed and leaned back on his wooden chair in the abandoned classroom.
"YES!" I yelled in triumph.
"No need to get so excited… now- if you would just sit still I would start- thank you. If you were to walk into the great hall in a cocktail dress during the middle of the leaving feast, all the attention would be on you not me, therefore I would be able to slip the potion into the Headmasters goblet. -Not to mention allow me to get major blackmail material for later-" Snape ended his explanation with a thought.
"But why me, and why a cocktail dress? And Slytherin colors? Why must you torture me?!"
"Because I cannot pull crossdressing off - though I have tried-"
"Wha-" He cut me off
"Slytherin colors suit you the best, because it brings me a constant source of amusement, And, you owe me for the marshmallow incident Potter." The old slytherin responds to each of my questions quickly, shooting down any more arguments I could possibly try.
"But I already paid for the marshmallow fiasco! Anyways, how was I supposed to know it would explode?"
"That does not count, and no matter what you claim, I know you had something to do with it."
"But-" he cut me off.
"Put it on now!" he was starting to get impatient.
I sigh, "I guess my suffering will be worth the end result." I pause as I start to disrobe, then continue "You will get the pictures, right?"
"Yes of course brat. You think I would pass on the option of getting the smallest amount of dirt on the old goat? I believe not" the black- clothed man responds as he turns around not willing to see a naked uneraged wizard.
"Ok, I'm ready Professor." I end in a mocking sort of way.
"Then let us go and terrorise the student population - and hopefully my colleagues as well…." We start towards the Great Hall
-Aftermath-
"AHHHHHHHH! WHY IS THERE A GOAT IN TYE-DYE ROBES GNAWING ON MY SHOE?!"
As we collapse laughing our arses off, we failed to realize that some of the potion got into their food and when consumed, Harry and Severus turned into a jet-black panther and bat respectively, both still in their clothing and identical looks of shock on their faces. Of course, Dobby chose that moment to pop up and take pictures, forever immortalizing the impossible- Snape in bat form on top of a panther Harry, Totally dumbstruck.
~~~~The end. Here is a somewhat quick summary of what I would do for a full story,so if you guys want me to keep going, I would start from the beginning of the story and have this as a sort- of prologue. May or may not be Slash but if I decide to go that route, it would be Snape/Harry. AU of the Harry Potter series where Voldemort was defeated at the end of fourth year when the Basilisk venom in Harry's blood made the cauldron explode and kill wormtail and the baby-like tom- so (obviously) no Horcruxes. Snape decided to tolerate Harry after he released him from the life-debt as soon as Harry found out about it. They only became friends when after Harry was forced back to his relatives and was no longer responding to the Order's letters, and Dumbledore being somewhat concerned, Snape was forced to go and check on him. Severus found him locked in his cupboard half dead from a combined beating and starvation. While he was recovering, he was brought to Spinner's End to be protected by Snape- the least likely choice. After a week of tense recovery, Harry plays a prank on Severus involving marshmallows and a cauldron of Wolfsbane potion which exploded- launching them into a prank war worthy of the Marauder's until they settled on a truce on the day before Harry's fifth year started, in order to complete what no student or otherwise have been able to accomplish successfully: Prank the Headmaster!~~~~~