Roy's Miniskirt Terror

Hawkeye stood in front of Fuehrer Mustang's desk with a very calm demeanor, in other words, as indifferent as ever. Mustang on the other hand looked very displeased. His chin rested where his fingers entwined together with his elbows propped on his desk looking up at his lieutenant.

"Hawkeye, do not think you are above the code of conduct just because you are a close and personal friend of mine." he said looking up at her.

Lieutenant Hawkeye's face did not falter as he looked over her uniform. The uniform, mustang twitched looking at the thing with malice, with the pants, the one she normally wore.

"Sir, with all due respect, I believe you are being sexist, the female officer should wear what she wants without being propped to. They are also a hazard sir." she said despite what she really thought of the new dress code, which she thought was just plane out idiotic.

Hawkeye could hear the Fuhrer chuckle deep in his throat. 'Oh no.' she thought rolling her eyes as she knew from experience what was going to happen next.

"That is where you are wrong Hawkeye!" he almost yelled standing up making her chair topple to the floor and his foot cause a loud thump on the desk striking his infamous 'rule-the-world' pose with a certain gleam in his eye.

"Think of the all the possibilities of wearing skirts could bring to everyone! Then the religion that will be started by Havoc will soon come into play!" he exclaimed before laughing like a dictator.

Quickly and animatedly he picked up his chair and calmly sat in the position he was before. "I do not see how they would become a hazard." he explained watching her for a reaction. In reality he was really hoping a miniskirt would magically appear on her.

He was taken out of his wishing-for-her-to-wear-a-skirt stare as a knock on the door was heard. "Come in." he said watching to see who was to come in.

Havoc walked in casually as he walked up to the Fuhrer's desk "General Fuhrer, I have come to give you the report on,…" "What the heck are you wearing!?" Mustang yelled staring at Havoc who was standing there in a miniskirt!

He blinked. "This is the new dress code right?" looking down at what he was wearing.

Mustangs eyes widened "NO! The miniskirt dress code is for the female soldier! Not male!" he yelled before he looked over at Hawkeye who looked as much in disbelief as he did. She was actually temped to rub her eyes to see if she was not hallucinating.

Havoc almost threw on a pout. "But." he said moving his hips side to side his hands folded in front of him, like a little girl "I like the miniskirt! I like the breeze especially! It's so…"

One again he was cut off by Mustang. "Take it off." he said almost desperate "Take it off!" he yelled so only people in the room would hear.

"Well, if you feel that strongly about it Fuhrer." Havoc said ready to take the thing off there and then. Roy noticed this and stopped him.

"Not here." he said trying to keep calm.

"Okay okay geez, so demanding." He said brefore turning to Hawkeye. "I do not know how you deal with the demadingness lieutenant Hawkeye, especially in bed."

"OUT!" Roy finally yelled loud making Havoc practically run out the door before he had a chance to hear Hawkeye's reply to the comment. Though he knew as he left she readying her gun for shooting practice and he knew who she was going to use it on.

Mustang clutched his head feeling a headache come on as he watched Havoc leave the room. He looked like his mom in a miniskirt with the cigarette and hairy legs! He surpressed a shiver as it brought back horrid memories of his child hood.

Then there was another knock on the door without looking or up he said come in. The door opened and he looked to Hawkeye who was staring at the door stiff and eyeswidened some. This made Mustang curious as to what made her that way and also looked at the door where he got the shock of his life.

He tried to keep composer though it didn't work "Armstrong! What the hell!?" He looked to see General armstrong in a miniskirt! And Riza was trying to A) Laugh her ass off and B) run out the door after taking a picture to post it on the internet.

"Don't you like it Fuhrer?" Armstrong ask his eyes twinkling flexing his muscles before his shirt was ripped off his body doing so. Roy was an inch from banging his head on his desk or killing himself.

There was yet again another knock. 'Please let it be someone sain.' Mustang wished as he invited them in. He sighed in releif as Edward Elrik the Fullmetal Alchemist himself pocked his head into the door Al behind him.

"I finished my report Fuhrer Bastard." He said walking into the room skirt and overcoat ali~ ei yie yie! Back up! Mustang twitched before rubbing his eyes and looked at the Elrik brothers, they both were in skirts too! Well it didn't effect Al as much because he was a suit of armot but...

"Ed please! Don't walk in here if you're wearing a miniskirt!" Mustang almost yelled but before Ed had a chance to say anything in anyway. Hughes! Came in Miniskirt and ALL! Mustang thought he was gonna go insain as Hughes ran over to his desk leaning over it.

"Oh Mustang my daughter in almost three now! Ain't she the cutest thing~!" He yelled as he shook his butt in joy and one hand on his cheek as he blushed happily for his little girl.

Meanwhile as Roy tried not to have a heart attack from all this. Ed turned to Armstrong. "I don't see what the matter is."

Armstrong stood straight up as usual everything twinkled as he turned to Ed. "I know what exactly his problem is." Ed looked up to his questioningly. "He's just so happy that everyone is trying to make his dream come true of having a miniskirt army!" Armstrong said with tears flexing his muscles, but this time it wasn't a shirt that ripped. But was pretty close.

Hawkeye placed her hand over eyes as she tryied to slip out of the room from the terror. Succeeding in doing so. Though when Roy thought nothing could get worst...

Havoc walked into the room with the rest of the guys "Are you guys having a miniskirt party without me!? I'll go get mine!" he almost yelled before leaving the room to get his miniskirt.

"Well Mustang I must say you now have your miniskirt army." Ed said with the smirk in his direction.

That's when Fuhrer Mustang had finally had it! "AHHHHH!"

.~.

"AHHHHH!" Roy yelled shooting up from his bed looking around the room for the dreaded male miniskirt army. He shivered visibly, but sighed in relief as he saw nothing but darkness.

Then the lights turned, "Surprise!" all his subordinates yelled standing in the corner of his bedroom with presents apparently for his birthday or some occasion he didn't know of.

"Oh guys you didn't…" he trained off as he noticed something…off…he twitched, all of them were in miniskirts! He looked down at himself to find HE HIMSELF WAS IN A MINISKIRT! He clutched his head before yelling "AHHHH!"

.~.

Riza slowly say up in her bed, bubbles popping in her vision looking around the room. "Huh." she said as she made a revelation. "Colonel in a miniskirt. Ha. That's a new one." she said plopping back down onto her pillows hoping to have more dreams of Roy in a miniskirt and whatever nonsense she could come up with.

Hey a girl can dream can't she?

The significance of this story…nodda. Not even lemon like I usually write. The reason I wrote this…boredom and caffeine can have that effect before bed. I'm gradually getting back into FMA, but none to soon. -Maybe- Note you will find a lemon or two on Roy and Riza in the future.