Summary: Casey and Chuck quit the Buy More. Now that Chuck is the Intersect again, where will he and Casey work? And maybe a frozen yogurt shop wasn't a great idea. That place was hemorrhaging money. What kind of establishment will Sarah be running now? One-shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, which is owned by the network that shall not be named until they renew the show. I also don't own the song this is based on (and most of the dialogue is pulled from). That is property of Ugly Duckling
A/N: Just a little crack fic to get the creative juices flowing. It's based on the song "The Confrontation" from Ugly Ducklings 2003 album "Taste the Magic." It means nothing, just a little idea about new cover jobs for the spies. Oh, and a little Charah at the end. Enjoy Sarah vs. The Meatshake.
Meatshake
Buy
More Plaza
Burbank, CA
July 30, 2009
3:40 PM PDT
The bell on the door chimed wildly as the door was thrown open. An angry, blonde ball of fury stormed towards the counter. The younger workers fell silent at the intimidating presence the woman from across the way cast.
"I need to speak to your manager," she demanded. She was looking around behind the new cashier whose name tag said was "McLovin" trying to spot the target of her anger. Finally the tall gruff man stepped from the back office.
"Hey look guys, it's Walker: nature's little gem." With their super intimidating day manager now on the scene (and apparently on their side for once) the workers at the dining establishment known as the Meatshake relaxed and actually had a laugh at the woman's expense.
Sarah shook off Casey's quip and the mocking laughter of the pimply faced goobers he had working at this place. If they worked for me, their complexion would be much better. Wheat grass instead of French fries would clear that acne right up. Sarah broke her musings and focused back on the purpose of her visit.
"Some customers came in and told me you insulted them." Her face was clear indignation. "At my place of business…"
"The Veggie Hut," Casey informed the new guy with a look of disdain on his face.
"Yeah…that's right." And just what is wrong with The Veggie Hut Colonel? You sure don't mind going there when you need to access Castle!
"Blondie, look, it's a free country…I'll do what I like." A self righteous nod accompanied a small smile from Casey.
Deciding a little levity might help diffuse the situation, Sarah tried a different tactic. "Why the negativity? You need positive energy." She smiled at the NSA agent.
Casey let loose a grunt as annoyance passed over his face. "Well, Walker, as you can see I'm busy. How about you stop pestering me?"
"Then don't put down my people!" Sarah jammed her finger at Casey and all the venom she'd entered the restaurant with was back.
"Who? You mean those frail chicks and sissy guys –who , by the way, should really stop batting their eyes at me- chewing on your trail mix?" Another grunt from Casey. This was number 58: "You've been served Blondie."
"Huh," Sarah huffed. "What about your nasty food?"
"Eat it," Casey offered, holding out a freshly squeezed Meatshake that was running over the top of the cup.
"Ew, forget that." Casey grunted at Sarah's look of disgust, but she continued. "Give me a "Wet-Nap" and then I'll leave this death trap."
Casey sighed in exasperation. Not only was she being unreasonable…she was also a hypocrite. Hell, Sarah had probably killed more people that Casey himself. And that was saying something.
"Look, people love Meatshake." He pointed at his spy partner and turned to his employees to make sure that they heard his next accusation toward the "Veggie Girl," as they called her. "A kidder and a dolt. People want a decent meal, Walker." He paused and turned back to the blonde. "They don't want to join your cult." This drew another fit of laughter from the assembled members of the lifetime virgin club.
Now Sarah was getting really worked up. "That's because they're stupid!" she said in a very firm voice. "They're lazy and they're inactive. They're dull, and unattractive." She looked around at the customers who actually patronized this horrible place. "Look at them! Living like some kind of fat pig."
Casey was not going to let the woman put down his customers like that. Cover or not, John Casey took his job seriously. It didn't matter what the job was. "At least they're not new age, crystal loving psychos who," and at this point Casey's voice went up an octave in a mock impression of what he perceived were the "sissy" guys that went to Walker's place "follow where the light goes." He grunted and then added one more thing, almost under his breathe. "Wearing those little tight close." The hardcore assassin grimaced at the thought of those people wearing what they did. It made him sad to share a species with them. Damn hippies.
"Good, release that anger," Sarah said with a fake sound of concern in her voice. "You're really too up tight." Casey groaned at her insinuation that he was tightly wound. "Hey, come and get a brand muffin," she offered with a condescending smile etched on her face.
"Yeah, not on your life." Sarah started to protest but Casey cut her off continuing his thought. "Your food is too expensive and I wouldn't even get full." Not to mention it is freaking gross.
"Can you put a price on your body and your soul?" Sarah actually sounded sincere this time. Casey worried she was starting to buy into her own crap about that culture. It wouldn't do to have a partner be so soft.
John was really nearing the end of his rope with this topic. "Look, I'll keep eating meet, and you...you do whatever it is that you do."
"Casey? What has an animal ever done to you?" Yep, she's buying into it. Now out of my two partners I have a nerd and a hippie. Wonderful life you have in front of you Colonel.
"It filled me up." He laughed at his own quip. He even had his staff back laughing at his verbal jabs at the other agent.
"With blood and guts," Sarah supplied. She had a horrible look of disdain and disgust on her face.
"Save the attack sweet cheeks." Casey glared at his partner.
She really couldn't believe her partner was being this difficult. Well, she could believe it, but that didn't make it any less infuriating. All she'd come for was to clear the air. She'd been told that her business could not do as poorly as the Orange Orange or she'd be in trouble. Part of the President's plan to cut spending apparently. And here Casey was driving her target market away from the plaza. "I guess I just respect life."
"I have it for a snack." Casey still wasn't backing off. If Walker wanted to go to war over some pansy vegan getting his panties in a wad over some off hand comment, then the veteran of three real wars was game.
Sarah ran a hand through her hair and sighed deeply. Her patience with the large man was getting razor thin. "Look Casey, the least you can do it offer us garden plate of eggplant parmesan."
Another grunt and a roll of the eyes began his answer. "That stuff is too hard to make." He turned to walk away, but before he did, decided to make at least one more point. "Okay, you stick with the nuts and berries."
"You stick with your heavy butt!" the blonde shot back.
"I could use a Meatshake," Casey said. Picking one up from behind him, he began to slurp it down like it was the essence of life. Rubbing his belly as the ground up meet slid down his throat, he made sure to force the most pleased expression he could muster towards his competitor in this battle of the wits.
"Fine, I'll go back to Veggie Hut." Sarah blew out a hardy breathe as she turned to leave. She walked towards the door muttering something about meet and clogged arteries but what exactly was said was indistinguishable.
An insect flew down onto the counter to get a little of the Meatshake Casey had let drip there. Picking up a spatula that sat only a few feet from him, Casey quickly swatted the bug.
"Hey Walker, I just killed a fly. Is that murder?" Two of the teenage losers in the front with the Colonel fell to the ground laughing at his latest line. "That one never gets old," he chuckled more to himself than anyone else.
As Sarah continued toward the door, Casey looked back at his employees who were still not back up to maximum productivity after that little interlude. Before he could yell at them to get back to work however, they sorted themselves out when the new guy spoke up...
"Oh crap, it's Mr. Bartowski!"
Casey was more than a little miffed that they were more afraid of the nerd than of him, but he let it slide…for now. His cover is as the general manager, Casey reminded himself. Must protect the cover. Can't ring moron's neck to let them see who the real alpha male is.
Sarah however saw Chuck enter the restaurant as well. This was the day he was supposed to relieve Casey. But then again, he was the boss…
The blonde marched back through the restaurant right up to the lanky nerd. "Chuck, I'm thinking of taking the rest of the day off. Would you care to join me?" Her tone was sweet an innocent, but there was certainly a very naughty undertone hidden somewhere in there.
"Umm…Sarah, I have to work. I don't-"
Sarah cut him off by grabbing the back of his head and pulling him down into a very forceful and passionate kiss. Chuck struggled against her restraint at first, but finally relaxed into the feel and taste of her.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Chuck managed to pull away from his not-so-much-just-a-cover girlfriend. 'Wow, ´ he mouthed. He turned to look at his Ass.-Man. Casey, opening his mouth to speak.
"Don't you do it Bartowski," Casey warned.
"Sorry Casey. I have something I need to take care of. I need you to close up tonight." At that, the human Intersect grabbed the hand of his CIA handler and pulled her briskly out of the door to the Meatshake and out into the parking lot.
"Damn nerd and hippie," Casey growled under his breathe as he watched them go. He didn't think his day could get any worse. And then he saw the flier posted on the board to his right.
Live!
Tonight at the Meatshake
JEFFSTER! Plays
their hits!
And it was all Casey could muster to not chase down the nerd and shoot him where he stood. Or more appropriately where he lay if Walker had anything to say about it. And that thought is what made the Meatshake start to come back up.
A/N: Again, just a little crack to try to get me going to write the more serious stuff. I hope you enjoyed it, and please leave me a review. You guys are Awesome! Peace.
