Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or this song. I only translated it from Russian into English. The Song was written by its performer Alexandr Astashonok
Rika knocked at Takato's room door."I'm busy, please do not disturb me" the answer came from behind the door in a sad voice.
Rika breathed in a groan and went from the door.
"How much time does he sit there and not come out?" asked Rika.
"About half an hour" Kazu answered her.
"And why doesn't he let someone in?" asked Rika.
"No one can answer you on this" said Henry.
Rika was very impatient.
"It makes me mad. We have to go fight the D-Reaper and this Google Head closes up himself in his room. He is so selfish" said Rika angrily.
"Rika, calm down" said Renamon.
"Yeah… Moumentai" said Terriermon.
"You have to understand him" said Kenta.
"Even it's difficult for you, since you never felt something like that to a person" said Henry.
"I believe Takatomon won't let us down" said Guilmon.
"I want to believe it too" said Rika worried.
Takato sat in his room next to his table.
"Dear Jeri, "
Takato wrote down this on a page and then wrinkled it.
"No, it's not good" Takato thought.
"Jeri, Oh Jeri, "
Takato wrote down this on a new page and wrinkled it too.
"No, this is too emotional" Takato thought.
"My sweet and dearest Jeri… "
Takato wrote down this on a new page and wrinkled it three.
"No, she would think I'm in love with her" Takato thought.
"To Jeri… "
Takato wrote down on a new page.
"Oh, this is perfect" Takato thought.
"To Jeri…
If you can read these lines I have written to you, I hope you can understand how I feel now.
You know me. I'm a bit crazy and very emotional, I'm not thinking before I'm doing something.
You were the person who always understood me. You always had something nice to tell me
when I was down and when my friends weren't talking to me you were there to support me.
Now there is no one who can support me. Even Rika tries to; I feel it's not the same.
She is not as warm as you. She does it because she doesn't want me to me down because they
need me to fight the D-Reaper. I know she is right, but it's not what I need now.
I need you, Jeri. In every shadow in the street I see your face. Even now as I'm in my room
I swear I can see your character. I want to touch it, but there is no one.
I feel like I'm losing you…
Your condemned glance-
a high voltage stormy level
When you looked at me, I don't know how to explain this. I just felt that a warm feeling passes
through me. I didn't want your glance to move away from me. It filled me with power.
I knew I'm strong because you believed in me. You were so happy, so lively.
I didn't know that something like this can happen to you. I didn't even know you lived behind a
mask. I thought it was the real you, but the real you is a very sad person that went through
sorrow and pain. You didn't want to introduce her to me and I understand why.
Believe me, I'm not glad realizing
that there is no way back
If everything depended on me, you would never meet Leomon.
If everything depended on me, Leomon would never become your partner.
If everything depended on me, you would never come to the digital world.
If everything depended on me, Leomon would never been killed.
If everything depended on me, even I would never become a Tamer.
But nothing depends on me, like you say "It's the destiny".
I hate the destiny; it has been so cruel to you. It doesn't have mercy on no one.
Even on those who suffered enough. I wish I could go back in time and fix all my mistakes in
order to make you a happy person again. But I can't, as I said before "There is no way back".
After all, I'm like coastal fog
and the ocean sleeps beneath me
As I could not even guess what kind of person lived behind your mask of happiness and didn't
think it was even a mask, I cannot know my own feelings.
I don't know why I'm doing things, I just do them. I feel this how it should be.
I didn't knew why I felt warmness every time you were close to me, I didn't know you why I cared about you
more than I cared about myself in the digital world and I didn't knew why I was so worried for you
after Leomon has been killed. Now I know; I just like you.
I couldn't hold you
It's not my destiny to defeat the pain
and reflect the hits again
Invisibly
You were enthusiastic with Digimon since you met Guilmon. I knew that being a Tamer could
be dangerous but if you felt so happy becoming a tamer I felt I shouldn't stop you.
But my feelings betrayed me, like they always do.
Even when the case related to me, I feel like things going well when everything turns to be bad.
Like the time I wanted Guilmon to digivolve, I didn't feel it would cause troubles.
Actually no one knows what damage cause things I do, they don't know before I'm doing them
and even not after I'm doing them.
Stormy winds are struggling
Cities Ruin
Your feeling like never
are over confidential
Only when sun wakes up
Come after me
It will be the final battle for me and you
Your world should be full of happiness. Of course I didn't know it; you never showed me your
real feelings. I remember the day Leomon was killed like it happened yesterday.
It was the day you saw the real me; angry and hateful person; and I saw the real you;
sad and suffering person. That battle revealed both of us. You saw how bad I am and I saw…
how sorrowful you are…""Takato, open the door!!!" Rika shouted as she knocked at Takato's room door "Otherwise I will break it!!!"
"Rika, please calm down" said Henry.
"Go away, Rika, I need to be alone" cried Takato from behind the door.
"Rika, be sensible, just think how he feels" said Renamon.
"And why doesn't he think how I feel?" said Rika "Takato, let me in".
"I thought I told you to go away, Rika, I don't want to see anyone" cried Takato.
"But I'm just trying to help you…" Rika's eyes were becoming filled with tears.
"Rika…" Renamon hugged Rika.
"Rika, please just wait, he will come out very soon" said Guilmon.
"…
I want to erase you
But how long can I suffer this pain
I'm tired to be sick with you
I want to gain power but not to get burned
Like as baby, I cry every night. Once Henry, Rika and I slept at school, they heard me crying.
I told them I had a nightmare. Henry didn't believe me; I think he guessed why I really was
crying. Rika thought it was stupid like she always does, she is so insensitive sometimes.
I want the happy person you were back, but I fear it doesn't exist anymore.
Sometimes I think it could be better you if I didn't knew you and you never existed.
Sometimes I didn't want you to exist, because I don't want to feel the pain I feel now.
You are like an illness for me and I can't get over you. I even see you almost in every girl I see.
I want to have the power to save you from the D-Reaper, but I feel I'll make a mistake again.
I want to have the power to forget you, but I feel it would be even a bigger mistake.
But your hurricane rushes
to me across the entire ocean
inside my head, it tells me not to give up. Every time I see that D-Reaper girl I remember all
we came through together then I feel that I want you back.
Even when it seems like I forgot you, I don't think of you, I feel like I never knew you, something
has to remind me of you. You exist, you are physically inside the D-Reaper, but emotionally you
are inside my body, my head, my soul, my heart. You are a part of me, this is how I feel now.
I couldn't hold you
It's not my destiny to defeat the pain
and reflect the hits again
Invisibly
Stormy winds are struggling
Cities Ruin
Your feeling like never
are over confidential
Only when sun wakes up
Come after me
It will be the final battle for me and you
away. I thought it was you who stood in front of me, sat in front of me in the train, refused to
talk to me and looked at me emptily. I thought that that empty creature was you.
I failed as a person and as the leader of our group. I shouldn't move my glance from you after
Leomon has been killed. I knew how irresponsible Kazu and Kenta are but I still let them look after
you. I were so careless. I went with Henry and Rika to fight that God digimon, when you actually
needed me more than them. Of course I wasn't aware to your deepest depression, and this is
because I'm such a blind person.
I hope you don't lose your grip and still believe in me, despite the person I am.
Please wait, I promise we will come very soon to save you. We will defeat the D-Reaper on
the final battle with him. Please do not lose you hope, you will be free very soon.
Sincerely yours,
Takato Matsuki"As Takato finished writing he heard Rika's voice behind the door.
"That's it, I'm not waiting any longer" said Rika and opened Takato's room door.
Takato turned his head and stood up.
"How many time should we keep waiting for you?" said Rika angrily "We have been waiting for you for more then an hour".
"I thought I told you not to come in, what can't you understand?!" said Takato.
"I understand that you are busy in closing up yourself in your room and doing nothing, when we have to wait for you to come out" said Rika.
Takato eyes started filling with tears.
"Doing nothing? Rika, you can't understand, do you call this nothing?" Takato showed her the page he wrote "Rika, you have no feelings".
Rika looked at the page and then put her hand on Takato's back.
"Oh, Takato, I'm sorry. I think I'm just jealous that you feel all of this for Jeri. But don't think I'm
insensitive. Let me help you bring your letter inside the D-Reaper, maybe Jeri will be able to read it"
said Rika.
"Thank you, Rika" said Takato.
Takato and Rika came out Takato's room.
"What's wrong, Takato? Have you cried?" asked Guilmon.
"No, I'm O.K. Thanks, Guilmon" said Takato.
"We are going now" said Rika.
"Should we come too?" asked Kazu.
"No, I think you'd better stay" said Rika.
When they came to fight the D-Reaper, Rika and Renamon biomerged into Sakuyamon and took Takato into the D-Reaper where he left his letter. He hoped Jeri will find the letter and read it.