Shoop Shoop, a without a trace fanfic

A/N: Ep 4.17 "Check Your Head" was on the other day, and I am still laughing about the end where Jack and Danny are singing Dean Martin in the bowling alley. This was inspired by that. The song is "The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)" by Betty Everett (and later covered by Cher). The backup singer's part in in parantheses (which will make sense when you get to the song). I only hope the written product you see below has captured even a fraction of the hilarity of the footage running on the projector in my mind :P

Enjoy!

"Why are we here again?" Martin complained, casing a suspicious eye around the bar as he followed his colleagues inside.

Jack quirked an amused half-smile at his subordinate. "Call it…team building."

"Karaoke?" Martin questioned, raising a skeptical eyebrow. "Have you been watching reruns of Ally McBeal again?"

"Oh, it'll be fun," Samantha assured him, leading the way to an empty table and making herself comfortable in one of the chairs. "Come on…"

Danny followed with an enthusiasm that surprised no one. "I'm in!"

"Yeah, sure. Okay," Vivian added with a shrug of her shoulders. "Why not?"

Jack looked expectantly at Martin, who held out for a long moment before crumbling under the pressure. "Fine. I'll sit and watch—but I won't sing."

"That's the spirit," the boss told him, patting his back and walking with him to the table. "And for the record, Ally McBeal had scenes in a bar but not a karaoke bar."

Martin tossed a worried at his superior before frowning as they joined the others. "Alright, we're here. Now what?" he asked, settling himself beside Samantha.

Jack glanced from face to face around the table. "Somebody's gotta sing."

"I already took myself out of the running," Martin reminded everyone quickly, leaning back in his chair and raising his hands in a gesture of innocence. "What about you, Sam? You're all gung-ho…"

"I'm not going up there by myself!" she protested.

"I'm the boss," Jack chimed in, "so I will go when or if I decide I feel the need to humiliate myself. Which is not right now."

"Well aren't we a brave bunch of Federal Agents," Vivian chuckled in response. "It's just a song…in front of people you'll probably never see again."

Danny shot her a wry smile. "Then why don't you get up there?"

The announcer on stage interrupted the debate, calling out the name of the next singer on the list. "Kady Z.!"

A dark-haired woman at the next table rose to her feet, her eyes resting on two of the people sitting at her table. "That's us," she informed them cheerfully. Eyes diverted from her gaze as her would-be partners chickened out at the moment of truth, and the woman's hands went to her hips. "You promised!"

"You've got the voice, Kady," one of them responded sheepishly. "We'd just be up there as extras anyway."

"Maybe, but I still need backup singers," she protested, disappointed. "At least one—I asked for the version without any extra vocals and I can't sing both parts by myself."

The announcer called her name again. "Second call for Kady Z.! Come on down!"

Danny popped up from his chair, overhearing the dilemma. "Can I be of assistance?" he asked smoothly.

The woman named Kady didn't miss a beat. "Can you sing?"

Danny smiled broadly. "Better than your unwilling participants."

She flashed him a grin in return. "Then let's go."

"Danny Taylor," he offered, reaching out to shake her hand as they headed toward the stage. "FBI."

"Kady Zolkowski," she replied, reciprocating. "CFP." A quizzical expression passed over his features in conjunction with a puzzled tilt of his head, and her smile turned into a light laugh. "Certified Financial Planner."

His bright smile returned. "Nice to meet you. So what are we singing?"

"You ever hear of Betty Everett?" she asked. "Or Cher?"

His confusion returned, his forehead furrowing with an added dose of trepidation. "Yeah…"

Kady handed a slip of paper to the announcer and picked up a microphone, throwing a backward glance at Danny a step behind her. "I just need the backup," she explained, "okay?"

He picked up the second microphone and moved onto the stage, scanning the audience and staring down each of his colleagues in turn. Samantha and Vivian were trying to conceal their giggling, Jack was sporting a smug little smile, and Martin was grinning like the village idiot. Great. I'm never gonna hear the end of this.

The announcer looked to Kady and, when she nodded her readiness, hit the Play button.

"Does he love me, I wanna know…"

Danny's eyes widened and his heart pounded. Oh no… His eyes swept the crowd again, noting the glee with which his so-called friends were watching.

"…how can I tell if he loves me so?"

His eyes fell on Kady, who was smiling playfully at him, and realized this was a challenge. He could bail, leaving this girl all alone and embarrassed on stage. Or he could step up and make her day, no matter how ridiculous he felt.

He chose door number two. "Is it in his eyes?"

"Oh no, you'll be deceived (Is it in his eyes?)
Oh no, he'll make believe
If you wanna know (Shoop shoop shoop shoop)
If he loves you so (Shoop shoop shoop shoop)
It's in his kiss (That's where it is)"

Kady was clearly having fun, and Danny found himself getting more into the song. He'd always been an outgoing guy, anyway—putting the sparkle in a pretty girl's eyes was a nice reward for it. And the more effort he put into his "shoops" the more sparkly her eyes became.

"(Oh yeah, or is it in his face?)
Oh no, it's just his charm (In his one embrace?)
Oh no, that's just his arm
If you wanna know (Shoop shoop shoop shoop)
If he loves you so (Shoop shoop shoop shoop)
It's in his kiss (That's where it is)
Oh, it's in his kiss (That's where it is)"

They played off each other as though they'd been performing together for ages, locking eyes as they danced a little across the stage, even adding in some shoulder action, all the while trying to keep from thinking too hard about what they were doing, lest they laugh themselves silly in the middle of the song.

"Oh-oh-oh, kiss him and squeeze him tight
And find out what you wanna know
If it's love, if it really is
It's there in his kiss"

Whistles and cat calls flew from the direction of the FBI table when Danny added some amateurish harmony, but he was well past his earlier discomfort now. His gaze never left his partner, watching her dark eyes shine in the stage lights as she belted out the vintage hit, following her lead all the way.

"(How 'bout the way he acts?)
Oh no, that's not the way
And you're not listenin'
To all I say
If you wanna know (Shoop shoop shoop shoop)
If he loves you so (Shoop shoop shoop shoop)
It's in his kiss (That's where it is)
Oh yeah, it's in his kiss (That's where it is)"

A quick instrumental interlude gave them the briefest of moments to catch their breath amidst their open laughter. Kady waved to her table, catching a glimpse of the envy in the eyes of the two female coworkers that had originally abandoned her as they ogled her new collaborator. Danny followed her line of sight and winked at the pair, shifting his eyes back to Kady as he took her hand and spun her around to another chorus of appreciative whistles and hollers. The interlude wound down with a drum series and she mouthed ready? He nodded confidently and released her hand, allowing her to take center stage.

"Oh-oh-oh, kiss him and squeeze him tight
And find out what you wanna know
If it's love, if it really is
It's there in his kiss"

He winked again, this time at Kady, just as he picked up the backup part with a little extra gusto, wondering if the pink in her cheeks was from the stage lights and exertion or something else.

The music faded and a healthy round of applause broke out, concentrated in the area of the Federal Agents and Financial Planners. Danny exchanged congratulatory looks with Kady and took her hand once more, this time to bow together to the audience. She was laughing again, taking a solo bow when he stepped back and clapped in her direction, then affording him the same honor before scurrying off stage.

"That was great!" she beamed, trotting down the side steps with him.

He was grinning from ear to ear, even as he tried to play it cool. "It was a lot of fun," he told her sincerely as they headed for their tables. "I wasn't so sure at first, though. You could have warned me that we were singing 'The Shoop Shoop Song'."

"I tried," she reminded him slyly. "I asked if you'd ever heard of Betty Everett…I even threw in Cher."

"And then the music started," he chuckled, pointing an index finger at her in mock accusation. "You kind of shanghaied me."

Kady nodded apologetically, pulling her chair away from her table. "I guess I did, didn't I? Well, next time you get to pick."

"Next time?"

"Oh yeah," she replied, her eyebrows raised for emphasis. "I'll sing backup for you anytime."

"I'm gonna hold you to that." Danny left her with his most charming smile and took his own seat, plopping down in the chair with a thump. "Okay, who's next?"

"Oh, I don't know how anyone could follow that, man," Martin teased. "You could have been one of the Pointer Sisters."

"Hey," Danny protested, leaning across the table, "Gladys Knight had male backup singers."

"And they've got nothin' on you," Samantha grinned.

Jack rolled his eyes and chuckled simultaneously. "You think they got any Frank Sinatra up there?"

"You're going?" Vivian interjected, her amusement mingling with surprise.

Martin took up her sentiment. "I thought you said you didn't want to."

"What I said was that I would sing if I felt the need to humiliate myself," Jack reiterated carefully. "And I certainly can't let Danny have all the glory, now, can I?"

Danny reached over and slapped Jack affectionately on the shoulder. "Shoop shoop my friend."