This is my first FanFic and I'm kind of nervous about it. If you like it then let me know if not a lot of people like it I guess I will just drop it, haha.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments.

CPOV

Today was the first day of school.

I don't know how I'm going to go through this. Is Isabelle going to talk to me, or I will she ignore me?

I don't know what to expect. Last school year I had Simon and Izzy.

This year I won't have Simon though. He's gone. He and Izzy were dating, and we were all tight.

The last day of school, though, there was a shooting. There were a few injured, but Simon…. He died. I haven't been able to find it in myself to care about anything since then.

I feel so numb. I'm not sure that I'll care whether Izzy and I hang out or not.

I'm not going to let anyone know how affected I am by this though. I'll just go to school smile and make small talk, it shouldn't be that hard.

I really don't want to go to school, but oh well.

I slipped on a plain black shirt, a light jacket, and a pair of dark blue jeans and headed out to wait for the bus.

All of a sudden Izzy showed up in her car and rolled down her window. "Hey" She called.

I looked at her for a moment. She looked good, her long raven hair was in a braid down her back, her dark eyes were bright, and she didn't seem to upset. I smiled and said, "What's up?"

Izzy looked at me for a moment before asking, "Want a ride to school?"

I nodded, "Okay, thanks Iz." Then I got into her car and we started driving to school.

"How have you been holding up?" Izzy questioned casually looking at me sideways, "You know with what happened? I know I should have called or texted you, but I couldn't do it. Sorry Clare."

I watched the road as I answered her, "It's fine. I'm fine. There's nothing really we can do. We just have to move on."

"You really think we should move on so fast?" She asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"I know there's nothing we can do. We can't change what happened. How have you been holding up?" I was truly worried about her. I knew she'd be fine though because she had her brothers there for her.

"Oh, I've been well. Jace and Alec have been doing a good job keeping me sane."

Simon and Isabelle were dating. They really loved each other. I can't imagine how it must feel for her to have lost her lover.

I don't believe in letting anyone that close. Promises of love and commitment don't mean a thing. My mom promised to come back, she didn't. Simon promised to be with me forever, he left.

Promises, love and trust all get you hurt in the end so why bother? Better just to keep your feelings and everything to yourself. Better to find your own way out instead of needing others.

I'm never going to let my feelings get the better of me like that again. Better just to be numb to it all.

Anyways, Jace was her adoptive brother and they looked nothing alike. Jace and honey colored eyes, golden hair, and a perfect tan.

Her other brother, Alec, was her blood sibling. He looked a lot like her, honestly. They had the same dark hair, and pale skin tone; however, his eyes were a piercing blue.

"That's good, I knew they'd be there for you." I replied.

Isabelle bit her lip and looked at me, "I'm sorry. I know it must have been harder for you because of-"

I held up a hand to silence her before she could finish, "Don't say it. I can cope on my own without anyone."

When I was younger my mother left me with my father, Valentine, as I refer to him. Simon and Izzy were the only people that I really talked to. When Simon died Isabelle stopped talking to me, I was alone but found my own way to cope.

"I should have been there for you though," she responded turning to look back at the road.

We were silent for the rest of the ride to school. Neither of us really knew what to say to each other seeing as we hadn't talked all summer.

Once we arrived to school I was about to get out of the car and head in when Isabelle grabbed my arm.

She looked hesitant. Biting her lip, she let go of my arm, and I thought she changed her mind about saying something when she spoke up, "Um… do you still want to sit together at lunch? Like we used to…" She trailed off as if still unsure she should have spoken.

I faked a smile, "Yeah that'd be great." I reached over and hugged her before heading into the building for the first day of school.

This was going to be hard without Simon with me, but at least it isn't too hard to seem happy. Iz seemed pretty convinced that I was good. Maybe I will be with time, but not now. I pulled down the sleeves of my jacket and headed to class.

Thanks for reading.