"OHAYO"
The today of yesterday I used to wake up to a cold, empty apartment, a few sloppily drawn pictures tacked to the fridge with two yen magnets the only atmosphere it really had. I'd leave my bed with it's scratchy, medical blanket, and previously used pillow, and stare out into the already sunny streets. Usually I'd have slept in my clothes, so when the realization I was late struck me, I didn't have much work to do to gulp down my expired milk and burnt toast ; I never was good with a toaster, and the money the council gave me wasn't all that generous when it came to anything more then five hundred yen every two weeks, and five minutes of hot water a day. I then ran out the door, usually forgetting to lock it behind myself. I used to wonder why no one ever stole from my house, when I returned later that night; but now I understand. No one wants to steal from the demons den. I'd make it to the academy, late again, and was heavily scolded by Iruka sensei with promises for detention. I sat down at my desk, wearing a wide grin, and glanced from side to side expectantly- this just might be the day when someone decided I was worth befriending, when someone decided that maybe there wasn't anything wrong with me after all. But no; most disdainfully ignored me, and though I caught a few shy smiles, they quickly vanished when it was realized I'd seen.
Class was difficult; see, I know large words now; for me back then. There was always something which garnered more attention then the speech at hand; a speck on the wall, the swirl on my Tshirt… … … there was always something which distracted me from the large words and complicated sentences. Probably why 'ruka sensei used to get so impatient with me, eh? But when doing came to doing, I worked my ass; er, bottom off trying to get my task right. Too bad my determination didn't usually amount to anything.
Often, tired of being ignored, near the end of the day, I'd
play a trick/prank, which would either end in my being yelled at, or
some of the other kids ganging up to beat me up. But I was always
happy with the results of my prank; because it got me a few minutes
of attention. In those few snatches of time, everyone was looking at
me, seeing me; and I felt like I existed.
But they
always; moments later; they always remembered that something that
only I couldn't see that chased everyone else away, and I was left
alone.
I think the roughest
time for me was after school. Watching all the other children walk
away with their parents, happy, smiling; though a few might be
sulking over trivial; See, another big word!; things such as a
fallen lollipop or a scraped knee. And as I watched, I made up
elaborate fantasies where some little boy or girl would turn to me,
with their parents, and invite me to come home with them, saying they
want to be my friend. My favourite one was when a pair of adults,
both similer to me; I realize how silly I was then, there are no such
people; holding their hands out for me and saying,
" Naruto-chan, we've come to take you home."
And I'd reach out for them,
letting go of the swing, and taking one step forward. And open my
eyes. And found an empty park scene staring back at me. No child and
parent offering friendship; no pair of adults, both with my eyes; no.
No such thing. Just the normal after school scene. And I stood up,
leaving the playground; there was nothing left for me there.
I'd take another route this time, down the main street, watching the shops begin to shut down as the sky threatened to go dark, one destination in my mind. And as I arrived, another wide grin spread apon my face, and I walked quickly into the warm atmosphere of the ramen shop, hope tinting my eyes. If I was lucky, Ayame would be standing there, smiling, and offering a bowl of left over ramen that some idiot had forgotten to claim. Though, if I was unlucky, which seemed to be more and more often as I grew older, she'd shake her head from side to side with a sad little smile on her face, and offer me a small bowl of rice in it's stead. Then I'd run off, and enter my aparment quickly, setting the rice on the counter before doing a fast check around the house. Nothing stolen from under my bed, nothing stolen from the fridge… though there wasn't much to steal from there… blanket still present and pillow still as bedraggled as usual. Satisfied nothing was stolen, I'd rush back to the counter and gulp down my supper greedily.
I usually spent the rest of the night drawing funny little figures on the wall with some ink I'd taken from some cheap old man who tried to charge me seven hundred yen for it, and fell asleep after awhile, tears still wet on my face as the ink on a disfigured picture of me and the best friend I hoped I'd one day(2) have slowly dried off.
(2) Crappy picture of Sasuke teme, if ya' ask me.