A/N: In a fairly random mood, so I decided to try my hand at (hurrah!) crack. First chap is intro featuring (hurrah!) Ichigo and his amazing dramaticisms ('zat a word? Oh well.) Just random funny stuff, some one-sided pairing fluff. Enjoy.

The Top Umpteen Ways of Annoying Ichigo

"Kuso…"

A very irritated orange-haired teen stalked through the family room and up the stairs, not bothering to shut the front door all the way.

"Welcome home, Ichi-nii," a timid voice piped from the kitchen.

"Hey, Yuzu," Ichigo sighed, burying an elbow in his father's face as the man came flying from above.

Ignoring the typical family commotion he had come home to every day for so many years, he finally reached his own room and shut the door pointedly behind him. To put it conservatively, he had had a very, very, terribly, horribly, awfully, disgustingly, ridiculously unbearable Hell of a day.

"What's up, Ichigo? You seem awfully—"

"GYAHH! RUKIA! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE?"

The aforementioned petite woman snapped shut a garish, bunny-covered notebook and hopped coolly down from the windowsill.

"—tense," she continued, as though she was not being shouted down by a rather strong, angry, and intimidating teenager.

Ichigo was very, very close to snapping, and the signs of impending danger were everywhere. Lower lip turned out, teeth gritted, veins throbbing, and fists clenched, he was a frightening sight to behold. Better yet, to run like hell away from.

"Get. Out. Now," he croaked, pointing a shaking finger at the door. And, because it was never wise to offend a bunny-loving firecracker like Rukia, "Please."

"Well, aren't you a right Mr. Sunshine today. Fine, I'll leave," she huffed, "but really, I thought you could use some company; you shouldn't be so asocial." With a flick of her eyelashes and a swish of pastel sundress, she was gone. As soon as the door shut, a set of hefty knuckles buried itself in the doorframe, while its owner spewed red steam shamelessly from his ears.

Later that night, in Yuzu's darkened bedroom, a certain mischievous shinigami sat under the covers with a small flashlight and a notebook. Next to a pair of kissing bunnies in formal attire, were written these words:

Best Ways of Annoying Ichigo:

Practice binding spells on him while he sleeps (Nix. Too mean.)

Draw moustache on his face

Draw bunnies on his homework

Live in his closet (Most impressive reaction yet!)

Compare him to Renji (better yet, imply he has crush on Renji, tee hee)

Sing the 'Fighting Dreamers' opening from Naruto (Oli oli oli o!)

Lie in wait in his bedroom (bwa ha ha!)

Rukia stifled a giggle. Ichigo had no idea how fun he was to torture.

-e-n-d-c-h-a-p-t-e-r-1-

A/N: Well… okay, I feel stupid. But it was fun anyway. Really, this fic is just me blowing off some start-o-semester steam, so it's not serious LITT-EH-RAH-CHUAH. As for next chaps… well, more characters with more lists (not all to do with Ichigo, BTW). Definitely Renji, maybe Yachiru and (giggles uncontrollably) Byakuya. If you wanna see your fave character's "list", lemme know in the reviewz.

Until next time… MUAH HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!