This chapter isn't complete, only because I have so much coursework to do for my final exams, . I'll finish it properly a.s.a.p. .
White magic, black magic Chapter ILightening cracked not far from the window lighting up the whole room. Rolling thunder rumbled following the electricity, the sound lolling in the air and eventually fading into the night sky. More lightening, more thunder, more noise, more light, it was distracting. I rolled over in bed stuffing a pillow over my ears to try and block out the rumbles of bellowing thunder.
Everything was playing through my mind, I was so confused and it wasn't fair. I lay here in bed in the Thunderplains travel agency thinking. Lately all I did was think. I thought about the welfare of Spira, defeating Sin, others' feelings, but never my own. I always tried to keep a happy face, you know smile when I'm sad; make them all think I'm okay, when inside my heart is breaking. I've just been proposed to by Seymour, and I don't even love him. And I keep getting flirted to from Tidus, and I don't love him either. In fact the only person I do love only thinks of me as a sister.
Lulu, she would never think any different of me. I know she cares for me; she has done ever since I moved to Besaid ten years ago. She, Wakka, Chappu and I lived together, but she was the mature one, the one that looked after us. When I fell and cut my knee, she bandaged the wounds, and when I cried she was the shoulder that I cried on. She was my big sister, but not by blood, but I loved her, in a different way from that.
I know that I will probably die defeating Sin and I'm prepared for that, I just want to be happy at least. I wanted my journey to be full of laughter, and so far it has been. Well until Guadosalam. Still before I die I want her to know what I feel for her, that she's not just a sister, she's something more.
Another flash of lightening, this time it hit the travel agency. I knew Rikku would be having kittens right now; she's been scared of lightening ever since Brother hit her with a thunder spell. The whole building shook, I sat upright in bed, cold sweat droplets formed on my forehead. I felt nauseous; I was going to be sick.
Jumping out of bed I ran to my small bathroom. Slamming the lid of the toilet up I vomited. The rancid taste overtook my mouth as I wretched again. When it was all over I cleaned myself up, and the bathroom too. I brushed my teeth so much you'd think they'd wear out in my mouth. Finally mint freshness replaced the foul taste.
I pulled on my white dressing gown, which lay over a chair and tightened the straps around my waist. I wasn't usually sick like that, but I think I know why, Lulu.
I would have to tell her, and it was now or never. I knew she would be awake she hardly slept. I opened the door to my room as quietly as I could, I didn't want to wake anyone. I crept out of the room and into the dimly lit corridor. Walking along the hall I could hear my bare feet padding along the wooden floorboards. I stood outside her door, light cracked from under it. Hesitantly I tapped on the mahogany door.
From inside I could hear chair legs scraping across wood. Most probably Lulu had been sitting reading. The gilded handle to her room turned, more light poured into the corridor. Soon enough Lulu's face peered around the door.
"Yuna?" she sounded puzzled at my presence here.
Still I stood and I tried to keep my face from showing the true emotions I was feeling inside. I lightly smiled to her. She looked beautiful indeed. Her hair was out of those trademark braids and flowed over her clothed breasts to her knees, the raven tresses shone in the light. She wasn't wearing her usual black leather dress but just a grey silk nightgown. Seeing her like that got me all…warm. I wouldn't dare say anything I just stared looking like a brainless twit.
"Is something wrong?"
There she went again switching into big sister mode. I wanted to confess my love to her, but couldn't. The truth was that there was something wrong, but I didn't know how to say. I just burst into tears; everything was too much for me.
"Oh Yuna".
I felt her slender arms snake around my waist as she drew me into her comforting embrace. I was thankful that the others were asleep, or at least not around. Just feeling her body press against mine was arousing me. I knew it was wrong to think like that, but I couldn't help it.
After our moment she led me into her room, closing the door behind her. She gestured for me to sit on her bed, which had a number of different throws over it. I complied and sat. Examining the room it was actually quite small, the only furniture save for the bed was an ornate dresser and chair in the corner of the room. Surrounding that dresser was the ashy light from Lulu's candelabra, the curtains were drawn but every now and again the whole room would light up as the lightening outside flashed.
I fidgeted with the corners of the bedspread as Lulu pulled up her chair and sat opposite me. I felt her eyes gaze upon me, and I just wished that I was able to gaze back into her red orbs, but I didn't have the courage to. Instead I found distraction in the knots of wood in the floorboards.
"Do you want to say what the matter is?"
Her voice purred and vibrated to my ears, it seemed to tickle them and I savoured the sound. However to reply to her question was a different matter, I couldn't find my voice.
After a long silence, which seemed to hang in the air for an eternity, I knew what to say. I'd cleared my thoughts and had found a way to tell her how I felt. I just hoped it wouldn't ruin our relationship at the moment.
"Well Lulu the thing is I'm very frustrated".
"Because of Seymour?" she said lifting her head up.
"Partly, but there are other things too".
"Do you want to tell me?"
I wanted to tell her allsorts, of course I did, that was why I was here.
"Yes. You see I don't like Seymour in that way, and I don't want marry him, not really. I would if it made Spira happy, but that would be the only reason, not for love".
"Yuna don't push yourself to do something that your heart does not want". She sounded concerned
"I know, and I don't want to. Just the person I am in love with won't even look at me that way".
Her hand came to my face. Softy she tilted my face to look at hers, obviously she saw the tears in my eyes.
"Tidus, he does love you Yuna. I can assure you".
I looked away and sighed. She knew at that moment that it wasn't him I loved by the expression on my face.
"I know Tidus likes me by the way he flirts, but I don't like him that way. I regard him as a very good friend, nothing more, nothing less".
Her mouth formed an 'O', she arched an eyebrow she was surprised.
"Yuna I'm confused, I thought…we all thought…" she trailed off.
"I know", I said looking away.
"Who is it, you love?"
Silence again. This was it, the big thing. I was going to tell her, well if I got my resolve together.
"Yuna?"
Her hand came to rest on my shoulder. I gulped; a pleasure of her touching me was overwhelming. I wished she would just…
Gently she turned my head to face her. I looked into her eyes, and swam in the glorious depths of her red ocean. I basked in the beauty of her alabaster skinned face. I shuddered, I was nervous. Slowly but without hesitation her face inched closer to mine. Her lips a hairsbreadth from my own, her soothing breath caressing my face. The next thing I knew her plum lips were on my pale pink ones, claiming them for her own. My eyes widened then eventually closed. I was in a total state of bliss. This was what I truly wanted. I wanted her and now… we were kissing, and not just a peck. I opened my mouth and she explored it with her tongue. Tracing every little detail of my mouth every confide. I did the same to her, although I wasn't an experienced kisser, unlike Lulu…wow. In fact Lulu was my very first real kiss. Except for the time I kissed a little boy in Besaid. We were both eight and I wanted my crayon back from him. He wouldn't give me it unless I kissed him. Until I was thirteen he called me his girlfriend, but I wasn't.
Abruptly Lulu broke the kiss and jerked away from me as if I was made from molten lava and I had burned her. She turned away from me and stood at the other side of the room.
"Yuna please forgive me. You are my summoner I should not be taking such liberties".
I knew why she felt that way. She too must have had a lot on her mind, Chappu. I felt horrid now. I loved her, but she should not feel this way. Yes she was my guardian, but did I not have a say.
"Lulu you are my guardian, yes, but please don't feel as though you are taking liberties, there are none to be taken. I…love you Lulu. Do I not have a say about whom I love. Can I not be happy, at least for a little while? For once can I just be in love".
Tears came to my eyes once more. Lulu just stood there and did not retaliate. I thought it was becoming meaningless. So I stood up and went for the door.
"Yuna? I love you too, I always have".
I turned to face her. She walked near me and held me in her arms; she fit perfectly against my body.