Title: The penalty of lying about love
Author: ScifirogueKane
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Hawkes/Danny, hints of Hawkes/Mac and mentions of Danny/Lindsay
Content Warning: slash, angst, swearing, Danny being an idiot
Summary: Hawkes should have known better then to get involved with Danny, at least that's what Danny told himself, Hawkes should have known that Danny would hurt him. (Danny's Perspective)
Authors note: This is my first CSI: New York fic so be kind please. Flames will be given to the Flying Monkeys to play with, they shall then be sent after the flamers. I do not own CSI: NY or any of its characters. If sued all you shall get is a pile of overdue assignments. Also the story may get a tad confusing because it starts after the events have transpired

I am not slinking, no sirree I'm just being cautious, the last few days have, if nothing else taught me that. I was just walking into work, and if I bumped into Sheldon or Montana then I would just walk in the other direction, as fast as I possibly can. At least there were only three people who knew what happened and I seriously doubt that either party will want to blab to the lab that I, Danny Messer had cheated on Sheldon Hawkes with Lindsay Monroe, nope I'm relatively certain that they both wish that the whole thing would go away. However that did not detract from the fact that I am not slinking, I made a mistake, sure everyone does, but it's not like I forced Lindsay into my bed and I sure as hell didn't ask Hawkes to fall in love with me.

I just have to get past Mac's office unnoticed and then I should be home... What the fuck! Ok lack of sleep and stress has lead to hallucinations that's the only explanation; there is NO WAY I saw MY Sheldon and Mac kissing, no fucking way! Hawkes ain't like that he wouldn't jump from my bed to Mac's that quickly Not to mention Mac's straight, he was married for crying out loud, and even if he wasn't getting involved with a employee, especially one who was emotionally vulnerable, would not be Mac's style, no way. Of course no of this changes that fact that when I walked by his office I saw him, kissing MY Sheldon. I casually walk back to do a double take and their no where near each other, but I can still tell that what I saw was real. Hawkes was shaking like a leaf and Mac looked like the world had just shifted sideways. Actually he kinda looked like Sheldon had when he walked into my place and found me and Lindsay going at it and if I had a mirror I suspect that's how I look too.

In my defense it's not like meant to hurt Sheldon frankly that was the last thing on my mind. He was there for me through all the crap that was going on. Holding me when I needed to be held, talking when I needed to talk, fucking me when I needed to be fucked and flipping anything else I needed. I tried to give back, honestly I did, I tried to listen, I tried to be there for him and often I was. Really my insane need to be the centre of attention was not what broke us up, it was his insane need for me to open up to him completely, something I'm not capable of. I tried, I thought if I could open up to anyone it would be Sheldon Hawkes, but nope, no cigar. That's why we fought, that's why he ran off and I went to the nearest bar, that's why I picked up Lindsay and that is why I slept with her! I was hurt, I thought he had left for good this time, no more chances, and Lindsay is beautiful, and sweet and wanted me, so I took her to bed. She was one hundred percent there, how dare she act like a victim now. Of course if she'd known about Hawkes, and that she was just my rebound, I doubt that she would have been so willing, still I am not the only villain here. I thought he was gone, I certainly didn't expect him to come back, while I was with Lindsay, with a pizza and beer and a apology, though if I'm honest with myself, had I known I don't know if it would have made a difference.

But back to the present, how dare Mac take advantage of Sheldon like this. Frick, anyone with half a brain could tell that he was in no shape to be with anyone else. And dammit if he got in a relationship with Mac, there go my chances of winning him back, I know I could do it too if given half a chance. Gotta move, they're leaving his office and I DO NOT want them to see me. I don't want them to see what this is doing to me and how badly I want to wrap Hawkes in my arms and never, EVER, let him go again, how much I want to tell him that I will never hurt him again, and how m