Summary: Anakin Skywalker has done the impossible, he stepped away from being a Sith of the dark side in order to save his dying wife. However, he fails. He goes into hiding to keep not only himself but his children safe from Sidious. Sidious is enraged at losing his short-lived apprentice. Then he finds a stand-in apprentice, the perfect pawn to draw out the hiding Skywalker.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
Chapter One
Anakin!
Again her voice haunted him. He could feel it. Her fear. Her pain. Anakin Skywalker gritted his teeth and continued to run along the base of the narrow Tatooine canyon. He just couldn't outrun her voice.
He stopped and placed his hand, his natural hand, alongside the canyon wall. He was shirtless and shoeless. His feet were blistered and bloody. He was sweaty and dirty, and his body heaved with heavy breaths. How long had he been running? Hours? Whenever he stopped her voice would be there. Followed by the anger. The pain. The darkness.
Suddenly he became aware of the slight tremor vibrating through the stone. Anakin reached out with the Force and quickly found his prey. He couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his lips. A canyon krayt dragon was a welcomed distraction. He pushed himself away from the wall and walked deeper into the canyon.
He didn't slow, didn't creep, or try in any way to mask his presence and approach. The large beast emerged from its den, hissing as it snaked out towards Anakin. Anakin stopped and unclipped his lightsaber from his belt.
Anakin!
Again her voice screamed. Again her pain and fear echoed through him. Once again her voice had caught up with him. Anakin activated the saber. He rushed forward to meet the krayt dragon. Yet her voice never went away. Even after seven years, her voice was still there. He saw her on Mustafar. He saw her on the table on Polis Massa.
Anakin realized the krayt dragon was already dead. His saber was buried into the side of the beast's head near the eye.
"Tch," he hissed. Pathetic.
You're the pathetic one. A dark voice said. You had it all. Unlimited power. You threw it away! You walked from it!
He pulled the saber out and slashed at the corpse. He slashed at it again. Again. And again. Blood sprayed across the canyon floor, across Anakin. Steam rose from the open wounds. Small chunks of the krayt dragon scattered across the canyon.
It was already dark when he walked back into his camp. It sat at the top of the canyon amongst some rocks that provided a natural overhang and shelter. His speeder sat off to the side where R2-D2 also waited. The droid beeped a greeting as its master returned. Anakin dropped a bloodied bag filled with krayt pearls as he walked passed a folded pile of his clothes and boots. He laid down on the ground. R2 beeped a question noticing the dried blood.
"It's not mine," Anakin responded. He let his arms splay out in the dirt. He stared at the rocky ceiling of the outcropping above. He could feel dark side calling to him. It whispered its sweet promises trying to lure Anakin back. It was hard to resist its callings. He had used the dark side of the force in the canyon. He had let his anger consume him. It was always so hard to step away from the dark side. It would be so easier to just stay in the darkness forever.
Footfalls crunched against the rocks. Anakin didn't move. He didn't even call upon the Force. He already knew.
"Please tell me you ran into a krayt dragon," Obi-Wan Kenobi said as he approached the camp. He drew his robes around him while staring at Anakin. Dried blood streaked across Anakin's exposed upper body and caked his pants. The state of Anakin's feet didn't go unnoticed from Obi-Wan either. They were scratched, bruised, and bloodied.
Anakin was silent and unmoving. Obi-Wan always found Anakin. No matter how far he ran or flew. The moment Anakin slipped into using the dark side, Obi-Wan was always there to make sure Anakin made it back out. Regardless of what Anakin said or did to Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan used his boot to probe at the bag with the dragon pearls in it. "It was just a krayt dragon this time?" Still no response. "Anakin?" Anakin could still feel his rage simmering. Obi-Wan's presence had made the anger start to boil again. "Let it go, Anakin." Obi-Wan's voice was calm, soft, and soothing. He took a seat a few feet away. "Let your fears go into the Force. Let your anger go."
Anakin slowly let out his breath. He pushed out his anger and fears. Felt them go into the Force. Yet the moment he breathed again he found the anger and fears were still there. Growing anew. He could cut off and throw out the stems, but the roots always stayed.
Obi-Wan just sat silently. He tried to keep as calm as he could. He took deep breaths and connected with the Force. Through it he could make out Anakin's emotions. There was great turmoil going through him. A lot of it anger, but there was also fear and grief. Obi-Wan knew the best to do was to just wait for Anakin to calm himself down.
He knew it wasn't easy for Anakin to step away from using the dark side. It was addictive and the withdrawals were hard. Anakin had already once completely given himself into the dark side. He had become a Sith, but then he had done the impossible. He stepped away from it. He returned to the light side of the Force. Yet that had not been the simple end of it.
Anakin sat up. Obi-Wan hadn't been keeping track of the time, but it was nearing dawn. Anakin stared off into the distance for a bit before he finally got up and walked to the edge of the canyon. He limped and flinched visibly from his injured feet. R2 beeped a concern at him, but it went unanswered.
"Seven years," Anakin said with grief in his words. "Seven years, Obi-Wan. I still can't escape the dark side. No matter what I do. No matter how much I mediate. No matter how much I call upon and use the light side. No matter how much I let it go into the Force. The darkness is always there. Always waiting."
"Do not belittle yourself, Anakin," Obi-Wan said staying seated allowing Anakin his space. "You have made great gains in seven years. You are not the man you were when you first started this. Yoda and I wish we could offer more help, but no other Jedi has crossed into the dark side to come back. It was thought to be impossible. It clearly is no easy task to free yourself from it."
"You have no idea!" Anakin shouted as spun towards Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan could feel the anger emitting off in waves from Anakin. Obi-Wan was used to these tantrums by now. At least now they were simply yelling. Seven years ago they had been much more physical. It used to take both Obi-Wan and Yoda to be present after Anakin stepped away from using the dark side of the Force.
"Calm yourself," Obi-Wan said trying to be an example of calm himself. Anakin stopped and took a ragged deep breath in. When they first came to Tatooine to hide, Anakin had been very hard to control. He would disappear and it would take days for Obi-Wan and Yoda to track him down. It would take days more for them to get Anakin to calm down and come back into the light side.
Anakin limped back and sat down. The tension seemed to be leaving his body. He dropped his head into his hands. Obi-Wan let out a small sigh of relief. Anakin was calming down.
"It's so hard, Obi-Wan," Anakin said into hands.
"I know. You should rest," Obi-Wan offered. Yet he braced himself for the oncoming argument.
"I can't," Anakin said still with his head buried into his hands. "You don't know what waits me there. The visions I see."
Obi-Wan actually had a pretty good idea, but he didn't voice this. Anakin himself had divulged the details of his nightmares at times. He would be back in the Jedi Temple surrounded by bodies or kneeling before Darth Sidious again. He would be on Mustafar or Polis Massa. He would hear his wife's dying cries.
"Then at least put yourself into a healing trance for your feet," Obi-Wan suggested. Anakin nodded. He laid down and closed his eyes. Shortly it appeared as if he had stopped breathing. Obi-Wan just watched. It felt like it was all he could do.
It was midday by the time Anakin pulled his speeder with R2-D2 in it up to the Lars Homestead. Obi-Wan was following behind in his own speeder. It had been a week since he had left. His feet were still sore, but he could walk without a limp. He also cleaned up and was properly clothed. Unlike Obi-Wan who still donned his Jedi robes, Anakin had quickly casted those aside seven years ago. He now settled for a belted and fitted leather tunic.
Anakin stepped out of the speeder. He enjoyed a quiet moment of the moisture farm, before he used the force to help R2-D2 out of the speeder. He heard shouting and laughter of children. It was followed by steps running up the stairs of the entrance of the homestead.
"Leia! Give it back!"
Anakin turned just in time to see his seven-year old daughter run out of the domed entrance. She held a small box above her head, while she kept glancing behind her. Shortly after her twin brother rushed out after her. They both wore loose white tunics and pants, common of the farmers in the area. Seeing his children, brought a smile to his face.
Yoda's words came to Anakin's mind. "Ground you to the light side of the Force, the children do." It was true. His children were the reason he always clawed himself away from the dark side time and time again. He could sense his children in the Force. They were strong, and their light was pure innocent, shining with the light side. As if sensing their father, the twins stopped simultaneously and looked over.
"Dad!" they both shouted. They ran over, large smiles on their faces. Anakin stepped forward, arms wide to receive his children. The children ran into his embrace, and the three hugged. Their blinding light in the Force seemed to chase the darkness away in Anakin. In these brief moments he was at peace and happy.
It had taken Anakin a long time before he felt like he was able to hold his children. His fear was too strong. What if he hurt them like he had their mother? What if he poisoned their pure light with his darkness? Part of the reason they had come to Tatooine was in hope of enlisting the aid of Anakin's step-brother and sister-in-law in help to raise the twins. In those early days, Anakin could not, and Obi-Wan and Yoda had their hands full dealing with Anakin.
Owen and Beru Lars had accepted their roles. They loved the children and raised them well. In those early days Anakin's mood swings varied greatly. At times he was at tears thanking the Lars, and at other times Obi-Wan was dragging an angry and raging Anakin out of the homestead.
Anakin kissed both his children on the head bringing him back to the present. Leia placed her small hand on her father's cheek. How much she looks like her mother, Anakin thought. Leia had her mother's big brown eyes and brown curly hair. Anakin could sense a bit of sadness and concern coming from his daughter. Leia, like her brother, was strong in the Force.
As the twins had grown, their strength in the force had too. The two older Jedi had suggested to train them, and Anakin had angrily shot them down. At first Anakin had claimed harshly he wouldn't let the old masters use his children to regrow their lost ways. Use his children as he himself had been used. Yet over the years those fears had fallen away. What he really wanted was for his children to choose for themselves, and to have a full understanding of the choice of whether or not they wanted to be trained in the Force. They were still too young to make that decision.
Anakin stood up, grabbed his bag from the speeder, and made his way into the Homestead. His children were trailing on his heels. They were both talking at once, excitedly and fast, trying to tell their father of everything he had missed. Anakin smiled and nodded, but was only half listening. He found his way into his room and threw the bag on the floor. The children were now at the part in their story where Leia had stolen the hologram projector Luke had been tinkering with.
"Ah Anakin you're back." Anakin glanced at the doorway where Beru Lars stood. She wore the simple farm clothes, and her short hair a bit wind whipped. "Luke and Leia let's give your father some space." The twins protested. Beru continued, "He probably needs to clean up before dinner. Come, you two can help me with it." The two turned and looked at their father. He nodded in agreement, and they frowned a little.
"You can finish telling me all about your hologram projector at dinner," he offered. The twins seemed to accept the proposal and rushed out of the room pass their aunt. Beru lingered in the doorway for a moment longer. She smiled at Anakin, her eyes filled with warmth before she finally left.
Deep inside Anakin he only felt cold as his thoughts lingered on Beru's stare. As if he was weak and needed or wanted sympathy. How his children had easily gone off with her. They love her more than you, the dark voice inside Anakin whispered. He could feel the coldness spreading. The imagine of him Force choking Beru entered his mind.
Obi-Wan stepped into the doorway, where moments before Beru had stood. He looked concerned as he studied Anakin. Anakin blinked and turned away. He felt shamed and heat spread across his face. It was quickly replaced with anger at once again how easily it was for him to slip into darkness.
Screams sounded all around Anakin. The smell of burnt flesh filled the air. He kept walking through the Jedi Temple stepping over bodies, many with lightsaber wounds. He turned and found himself on Mustafar. His pregnant wife stood on the landing platform in front of her ship. Her hands were up to her throat, her eyes wide. Then he her heard scream. He saw her on the birthing table. He held her hand as she called his name. Then there were the flames.
Anakin!
Anakin awoke with start in his small bedroom in the Lars' home. He was covered with sweat. He could feel the dampness in the sheets of his bed. His sleeping shorts stuck to his legs. He got out of bed, threw on some clothes, and walked up the stairs to the exit. The night air was cool and dry and felt good against his hot skin. Anakin walked across the rocky sand until he found the three graves.
One for his step-father, another for his mother, and the last for his wife. Though the last was empty, it was something that Anakin felt like he needed to do. He had rationalized it was for the twins. It was something for them to connect with to their mother. Obi-Wan had said it was also for Anakin, a part of the grieving and healing process.
Anakin knelt down in front of his wife's grave. Her screams and calls from his dreams still fresh in his mind. He closed his eyes and once again the image of flames and explosions filled his mind.
You couldn't save her, a deep voice said behind him. Anakin didn't turn around. He knew no one was really there. Just his own phantom haunting him. It appeared as a man cloaked in a full bodied black robe with the hood drawn. The face was hidden in deep shadow.
You could have saved her! She didn't have to die! The voiced continued. You had it all! You were becoming more powerful than any Jedi ever dreamed of.
Anakin kept his breathing even. He kept calm. Originally the specter had looked and sounded like Palpatine, Darth Sidious. That only enraged Anakin more. He would attack it, chase it, burn it out of his mind. Eventually it took Anakin's own form and voice. Anakin kept ignoring the ghost and felt through the Force. He quickly found his sleeping children's presence. He felt their light and took comfort in it.
Why live this way? You could be emperor. You could have all the power. Your children wouldn't be living in poverty loving some poor farmer and his wife. Your children should love you. They are yours.
Still Anakin looked at the grave. He hadn't reacted at all to the voice. He felt no anger, no remorse or grief. He knew the voice was simply his own inner voice. His own voice bringing forth his own dark thoughts.
Why did you leave me?
Anakin jumped a bit. The voice had changed. It was no longer his voice, but her's. His wife's.
Anakin! Why did you leave me? The voiced pleaded. Come back to me Anakin!
Anakin closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. He knew his wife to be long dead. It was all a ploy. His own desires trying to bring him back into the folds of the dark side. How deceitful he could be towards himself. The voice carried on in her voice, calling out his name and pleading to him to come back. He knew if he turned around the robed figure would be smaller, more feminine in nature.
"Anakin?" the voice of Obi-Wan called out. The real voice of a real person.
Anakin took in a gasp of air. He turned around to find nothing of a cloaked ghost, just Obi-Wan who once again was there to make sure Anakin didn't fall to the calls of the darkness.