This past month has just been terrible for me. I
can't get her out of my head. Every little thing reminds me of her. I still
have my ring and I never take it off. I have our bracelets still too. I never
take them off either. I have this gut feeling that something terrible has
happened or is going to happen. I go upstairs and pack a bag full of clothes
and go to the train station. When I get to Weatherfield immediately I see Kevin
at the garage. I don't even stop by, but I go right to house number 4. I don't
even knock, I just walk right in. "Sian. What are you doing here?" Sally asks
as I walk through the door. I ignore her and walk right up the stairs. I open
Sophie's door and freeze. She's sitting on the ground with a knife in her hand
and her arm gushing blood. She looks up at me. "Sian?" she says. She looks
away. "Great, now I'm going mad." She says. I get on the ground next to her.
"No, Soph. You're not going mad. I'm actually here." I say. "Sian?" she says
again. I slowly grab the knife from her and set it behind me. She brings her
hand up to my face. I set my hand on top of hers. "What are you doing here?"
she asks. "I had to come back. I could feel it. Something was gonna happen. I
needed to see you." I say. "You needed
to see me?" she asks. "Yeah. I needed
to see you. I've been going absolutely crazy not seeing you. I made the biggest
mistake of my life walking out that door last month." I say. Her eyes start to
close and her hand goes limp. "No, Soph. Listen to me." I say. Her eyes open
back up and she just stares into my eyes. "Sian." She says. "Shh." I say.
"Let's get you to the hospital." I say. I grab a towel and wrap it around her arm.
I help her up and lead her downstairs. "Sophie? What's happened?" Sally asks. "Mum. Sian's back." She says
smiling. "What did you do to your arm?" She asks. I grab the car keys sitting
on the table and walk outside. I put Sophie in the car and go around to the
other side. "Sian?" I hear. I turn around and see Kevin. "What are you doing
back here?" he asks. "I have to take Soph to the hospital. I'll explain later."
I say getting in the car. "Since when do you know how to drive?" Sophie asks. "I got lessons." I say. I drive
to the hospital and we go inside. She gets treated right away so I have to
wait. About 20 minutes later a doctor walks up to me. "You're here for Sophie
Webster?" he asks. I stand up. "Yeah. I'm Sian." I say. "We've patched her up
and she's good as new, but we're going to have to keep her in here for 72
hours." He says. "What? Why?" I ask. "Well, this was a self –inflicted wound
and that means the next step could be suicide." He says. "Therefore we have to
keep her here to make sure that doesn't happen. She'll have to talk to a
therapist and get help." He adds. "No. She would never take her life." I say.
"Well we found other marks on her." He says. "What marks?" I ask. "She has
multiple other scars on her arms that are from multiple different times." He
says. "This is all my fault." I say to myself but loud enough that he heard it.
"Excuse me?" he asks. "If I wouldn't have left she wouldn't have started." I
say. "Has she been depressed lately?" he asks. "Yes. It's my fault. I walked
out on her. I was an idiot. I never even let her explain what happened." I say.
"Why what happened?" he asks. "You don't want to hear this story." I say. "Well
right now Sophie is my patient and I need to know anything that has to do with
her wanting to harm herself. And if all of this leads up to it, I need to know."
He says. I sit down and he follows sitting next to me. I look around and see
all the people around. "Would you like to talk in a more private place?" he
asks. I nod. "That would be nice." I say. "Follow me." He says. He stands up
and I follow him as he walks through the hospital into a small room. "This private
enough?" he asks. "Yes." I say walking in. He walks in and sits down in one of
the chairs. "Please take a seat." He says. "No. I'm good." I say. "Alright. You
can start your story anytime you like."
He says. "Alright. It all started in April 2010 when my boyfriend and I
were fighting. Sophie and I were best friends so she wanted to help. I lived in
Southport with my mum during the week but every other weekend I went to
Weatherfield to be with my dad. But I would just hang out with Sophie or Ryan.
Ryan was my boyfriend." I say so he knows who I'm talking about. "Well one
weekend when I wasn't there Ryan kissed Sophie. Sophie called me and told me I
had to get to Weatherfield right away because she had to tell me something
important. So I got on a train and went straight to Coronation Street." I take
a breath and pause. "When I got there Sophie was waiting for me at the bus stop.
I got off the bus and she looked really serious so I was worried it was a serious
thing. She told me that Ryan kissed her. I was furious because that's my best
friend and my boyfriend kissing. I grabbed Sophie and we went to Ryan's. I
confronted him and he told me that he loved me and he would never do that. He
told me that Sophie kissed him. And I believed him. Sophie left and I didn't
speak to her for a couple of weeks. Her mum was diagnosed with breast cancer
and I felt so bad for her. All she needed was a friend and I wasn't there for
her. Then one day Sophie called me over and over and over. I couldn't answer it
because I was still mad at her. I tried to talk to her the day before. I told
her I was sorry about her mum and I wished for the best but she blew me off. So
I wasn't going to answer any of her phone calls. Ryan was going to come with me
to Southport for the weekend and we were waiting for our train." I stop. "What
does April 2010 have to do with February 2012?" he asks. "I'm getting there.
Trust me all of this leads up to last month which leads up to now." I say. I
could probably leave a lot out but I need to get this all off my chest. I'm
going to tell him the whole story. "Okay. So Ryan was going to Southport with
you and you two were waiting for your train." He says. "Right. Well he gets a
text message from Sophie. All she said was he was a liar and she hated him.
Then everything started to fall into place. Why would she text him that if she
kissed him and he was the only one going to see it? So I asked him again and he
told me he lied. He kissed her and I believed what he told me. The only thing I
could think of was Sophie. Poor Sophie. I didn't believe my best friend. So I
left Ryan and went to Sophie's house. She was in her room basically crying all
day. When I went in she was surprised. I told her I broke up with Ryan and that
I was sorry for not believing her. She said it was okay and we were friends
again. I hugged her and she winced so I pulled away and asked her what was
wrong. She turned around and she had scrubbed away a henna that we got
together. I told her that she was more important to me than any lad. Then she
kissed me. Twice." I say. The doctor looks at me as to say keep going, so I do.
"I left because come on. She kissed me. I was freaking out. I went to my dad's
house even though I was supposed to go back to Southport. The next day she
called me because she wanted to talk to me. I didn't wanna talk because I had
no idea what to even say. I told her she could stop by after school but I left
in the morning back to Southport. That didn't stop her though. She came to my
mum's house in Southport. We fought and I told her I didn't want to be friends
because I didn't want that to happen again. So she left. Then all I could think
about was her. All the time that's all I ever thought about. I thought about
her hair and her face and her body and just everything about her. I thought
about our kiss. I realized that I liked her. A lot. More than a friend. I loved
her. No. I was in love with her." I say. "You were in love with her after only
one kiss?" he asks. "Yeah. She was my best friend and she was just like my
girlfriend without the kissing. She meant the world to me." I say. I sit down
now. "Alright. So what did you do about it?" he asks. "A week after she left my
house I went back to Weatherfield. I went to her house and I was all ready to
tell her that I loved her. But she wasn't home. Her sister told me she was on a
date." "Ouch." He says. "Exactly." I say. "So I was going to go home but I saw
her out with him. I went to the taxi place and just sat on the bench. I wanted
to go home but I decided to wait a little longer for her. 20 minutes later
there she was walking around the corner looking as beautiful as ever. She sat
next to me and told me we needed to talk somewhere more private so we went to
her grandpa's workshop. She told me that her date was terrible and she only
went out with him because Ryan told her that he and I were getting back
together. That was not happening." I say. "Because you were in love with
Sophie?" he asks. "Exactly. And he cheated on me before." I say. "Right." He says. "Carry on." He adds.
"We talked and she told me that she thinks about me and I told her I that I
thought about her too. We kissed a couple of times but I had to go. We agreed
that we were dating and we were together. I left and we were a couple. We
didn't tell anyone about it and we weren't planning too. In July Ryan caught us
snogging but he promised he wouldn't tell anyone. And it kind of put pressure
on us to tell people. At the end of July there was the music festival that
Sophie and I wanted to go to. It was four days long and we would camp in a tent
and hear all these amazing bands. I loved the idea of being able to be with
Sophie for four days and we didn't have to hide our love from anyone. First we
had to ask Sophie's parents if we could go. Of course they said no. But we
really wanted to go. So we told Sophie's parents that we would be staying at my
mum's house for a couple of days in Southport. And they believed it. We went to
the music festival and came back and they didn't know about it. We actually got
away with it. Until Sophie's mum got a call at the house saying that Sophie's
purse was found at the musical festival. When she found out she told us that we
couldn't see each other anymore. She didn't know we were together but she didn't
want Sophie hanging out with me because I was a bad influence on her. So I had
to leave. And it sucked because it was hard not being able to see her. We snuck
around trying to see each other as often as we could. Then I got a call from
the Pastor of our church. He asked if I wanted to sing in the church choir. I
said I would and I told Sophie that she should do it too so that we could see
each other more. Then in August Sophie had to babysit for a neighbor who had to
leave for a little bit. She invited me over since we hadn't seen each other in
a couple of days. After the kids went to bed, we were just sitting on the couch
watching tellie and talking. We were snogging and Clare, who was the neighbor,
walked in. We didn't see her come in. She acted like she didn't see us kissing
so we thought she didn't. But she did. Then we were singing in the church choir
for a wedding and on the train ride there Clare exposed us. She told Sophie's
mum that she saw us kissing. Sophie's mum didn't like the idea of her daughter
being a lesbian so she said that Clare was crazy and she just thought of the
worst thing she could think of. Sophie got mad after that and we both left the
train. She said that we would have to tell people but I told her we couldn't.
If my dad found out he would kill me. She got mad and we went to the wedding.
When we got back to Weatherfield she told me that she told her dad about us.
But she told me we had to leave. If we wanted to be together we had to run
away. So that's exactly what happened. We ran away. We had no idea where we
were going but we knew we had to go somewhere. We ended up living in a school
housing with this guy I worked with. We were there for about two weeks until I
came home from work one day and Sophie was sitting outside. I asked her what
happened and she told me he tried to on with her. That was not okay with me. I
told him not to on with my girlfriend. And we left. Soph called her sister and
she came to get us. When we went back her whole family knew about us. Sophie's
mum called my dad and told him I ran away. He came to get me and take me home.
I told him I didn't want to go with him. He asked why I ran away and I told him
it was because we were in love. Sophie and I were in love. He left and I
haven't talked to him since. I stayed with the Webster's because I was lucky
enough that they accepted us. After that Sophie and I had a wonderful
relationship. Everyone knew about us and we were finally able to be ourselves
around people. Everything was perfect. For a few months. December 6th
was a bad day." I say. "That was the day of the tram crash. Wasn't that?" he
asks. "Yeah. It was also the day Sally found out about Kevin's baby. It was the
night I had several break downs." I say. "Break downs?" he asks. "Yeah. Sophie
works in the Corner Shop where the tram crashed." He cuts me off. "She wasn't
hurt though, was she?" he asks. "No. Luckily I made her switch shifts that day
because we needed a day together. She had been working so much in the two weeks
before that. We didn't get a chance to even see each other. So I asked if she
would take the day off and we could just relax then go out to dinner. She
agreed to and we spent the day together. If she wouldn't have she could have
died. So in the days to follow that day Sophie found out about her dad's affair
and how baby Jack was his. He was kicked out of the house and things were
starting to get a little more normal. Sophie and I were good and on New Year
Eve we slept together for the first time. Everything was slowly falling back
into place. The next day her mum caught us in bed together and there was a lot
of tension between us. But we were good. January was full of tension and I
decided I needed a break from the house. In February my mum asked if I wanted
to go on holiday with her for a few weeks. Of course I said yes but Sophie
wasn't too excited about that. I left anyways and that was a big mistake"
"Wait. I feel like I've already treated Sophie Webster before. Was she already
a patient here?" he asks. "Yeah. In March when I got back from holiday, Sophie
was happy as ever. I promised my mum I would go back to her house that night to
sort out my stuff and see what to do from there. My mum wanted me to move back
in with her. And that sounded pretty good to me. When I told Sophie that I
couldn't spend the night with her, she got upset and we were back to arguing. I
went home for the night and Sophie ended up calling later and apologizing for
freaking out. We hung out the next week or so and she started talking about
moving in together. I loved the idea of moving in with her but not on the money
we had. We would have to live in a small shabby place. I didn't want to move
into somewhere like that. She thought I didn't want to be with her at all and
again she freaked out. I noticed that she was keeping something from me. I
asked her what it was and she told me she got kicked out of college. And then
her dad sold her house so he could afford to buy his own flat for him and Jack.
She started to freak when she thought she was going to be homeless. She started
to search for an apartment for us online and I left because I had class. When I
came back from class she confronted me about these pictures she saw online.
They were of me and this girl I met on holiday named Chloe. She thought I was
cheating on her and that was the reason I didn't want to get a flat with her.
She told me to leave so I did. The next day was March 11th 2011. I
went back to Weatherfield in the morning and Sophie didn't want to talk to me.
I showed up at the shop and we fought. I told her I couldn't do it anymore
because I felt more like her mum than her girlfriend, and I broke up with her.
I went back to Southport. It was about half 9 at night and I got the scariest
phone call of my entire life. It was Rosie, Sophie's sister, calling to tell me
Sophie was in an accident and she was in the hospital and it was looking bad.
Here I am sitting at my mum's house in Southport and I get a call telling me my
girlfriend was in the hospital and it was bad. I just ran out of my house to
the train station. I bought a ticket at the station nearest to the hospital. I
ran to the hospital from the station. I got here and Kevin started to blame me
telling me it was all my fault because we fell out and that's why Sophie
started drinking. Then the doctor told us that she was going to be okay and
everyone seemed to calm down. Kevin apologized to me and after him and Sally
saw her I went in. I tried to find out if she jumped off the roof or if it was
an accident. I made sure she knew I loved her and that I will always love her.
Those days brought us closer together. I was with her every day at the hospital
until they let her out. And I was with her every day when she got out because I
decided I wanted to live with her again. Then we had four months of complete
normalness. In July we stated helping out with this soup kitchen. We were
trying to raise money so they could buy a bigger place. Sophie's dad had won
the lottery so he had a ton of money. Sophie asked him if we could borrow 2,000
pounds for the house. He refused even though we told him he would be getting
his money back in a week. So Sophie did the idiotic thing and stole his money from
his bank account. I had no idea about it until after she did it and told me she
did it. What ended up happening was that the people in charge of the charity
took the 2,000 pounds and the rest of the money and left. No one could find
them. Kevin ended up not getting the money back and Sophie had to pay it all
back. Of course I helped because I love her and it would have taken years to
pay it all back just her. The next couple of months were normal. Nothing crazy
happened until October. In October I went on holiday with my mum again but this
time Sophie was okay with it. When I got back she started acting weird. She
went out with this girl named Amber while I was gone so I thought maybe
something happened on one of those nights. But she told me nothing happened.
And I believed her. Then one day she came home from work and just said 'Sian. I
wanna marry you. Let's get married.' At first I was just are you serious. But
when I found out she was being serious and she said the words 'Will you marry
me.' I said yes. We got engaged and we talked to her mum about it, who right away
said no. We were too young to get married. So I thought that was out of the
picture until Sophie talked about getting rings. We actually went and bought
them." I say taking my ring off my finger and holding it up. I put it back on.
"Is that why you were listed under fiancé on her emergency contact list?" he
asks. "What?" I ask. "On Sophie's contact list it had her mum, her dad, and
you. Sian Powers, fiancé." He says. "I guess that would be why. I guess
technically we're still engaged." I say. "But you never got married?" he asks.
"Almost to that part. When her mum found out about the rings we decided we
would run off and get married. So we bought our train tickets and we got our
stuff and we were ready to go. We got to the train station but her mum and her
sister followed us. We got on the train but they couldn't get on. Sally
promised us that if we didn't run away we could get married. So we got off the
train and we started planning our wedding. Sophie was going through something
that she decided not to share with me. I was excited and ready to marry the
love of my life. I thought she was too. On the actually wedding day we both
walked down the aisle together. We both decided we wanted to write our own vows
because it's more romantic and sweet. I was so nervous to read them aloud but
when I did and I saw the look on her face I knew they meant more than anything
to her. Then it was her turn to say hers. She started off slowly stuttering a
lot. Which was understandable, she was in front of a lot of people and she was
getting married. She's never been good with crowds. Then she stopped. She
apologized and I gave her a reassuring smile because I thought it was just
nerves. She smiled back and she started again. She got through three words
until Kevin stood up and told her she didn't have to do it if she wasn't ready.
I knew there was something she wasn't telling me. So I confronted her there at
the altar. I asked her what he was talking about and she was speechless. So I
turned and left and I heard her scream after me. I kept walking and she
followed me. She just kept say the same words over and over. 'Babe listen to
me. Please listen to me. Sian just listen please.' When I finally listened to
her all she could say was she was sorry and it was just nerves. Until I asked
about what her dad said. She had nothing to say except he's stupid. I left with
my mum back to the Webster's house because all my stuff was there. My mum left
to get boxes. I started to pack when Sophie came in. She started to pull all of
my clothes out of bag because she didn't want me to leave. We had this huge
argument until she promised me it was just nerves. So I agreed that we could
get married. She called Rosie and told her to come with her boyfriend Jason
because we needed at least two people to be witnesses. I went upstairs to clean
up my face. I started to come back down the stairs and I heard Sophie talking
to someone. I wasn't really listening to what she said until she said 'I
thought I really loved you Amber. But I don't. I never did. It was just a
stupid crush and that kiss should have never happened.' I finished walking down
the stairs into the room and Sophie just turned and looked at me. All I wanted
to do was take my ring off and throw it at her. But I knew I would regret it.
She looked me in the eye and I swear she never looked more beautiful. Her make-up
was messed up and so was her hair. She had tears running down her face but I
swear she never looked more beautiful. She took a step towards me and I just
walked out of the house. My mum was parked outside and she got out of the car.
I got in the car and she went inside to get some of the things I needed. Sophie
ran out of the house and started banging on the car screaming my name and
screaming how she was sorry and she loved me. I know it was true. She did love
me and she was sorry. I just sat in that car crying until my mum came out. My
mum got in the car and Jason had to tear Sophie off the car so we could drive
away. The last month has just been me crying every second of every day." I say.
"So what made you come back?" He asks. "I missed her and I had a bad feeling.
That feeling you get when you know the love of your life is in trouble." I say.
"If you wouldn't have come and no one would have found her she would have died.
So I'd say you two are pretty connected." He says. "I like to think so." I say.
"Speaking of which, I think she's gonna wake up any minute now." I say. "You're
probably right." He says. We leave the room and he leads me to Sophie's room.
"What the hell did you do to my daughter?" Sally asks as she walks up to me.
"Excuse me?" I ask. "I saw that knife in
her room. What the hell did you do to her?" she screams. "Why would I do
anything to her?" I ask. "Why else would you come back at the most random
time?" she yells. "I had to come. You don't honestly think I would physically
hurt her?" I ask her. "I do." She says. "You do?" I ask. "I'd like to see my
daughter right now!" Sally says. "Well that's up to her." He says pointing to
me. "Me?" I ask. "Since she's the first one on her emergency list she has the
right to see Sophie before anyone else. If she wants anyone else to see her she
can allow them but legally she gets to see her first." He says. "Well are you
gonna let me see my daughter or not?" Sally asks quieter. "I'd like to see her
first. Alone. I need to talk to her." I say. "Great! You're just going to
threaten her so she doesn't say anything to us!" She says. "I'd like to see her
now please." I say to the doctor. "Of course." He says. When I walk in she's
still sleeping. I take a seat next to her bed and grab her hand in both of
mine. "This is where I belong." I say. "Looks like it." The doctor says. "I'll
be seeing you every time I come in this room right?" he asks. "As long as she's
here." I say. "Thanks for the story." He says. "No. Thank you. I needed to go
through that again." I say. "I'll see you in a little bit." He says. I nod
telling him I heard him. He walks out and shuts the door behind him. I look
down at Sophie. "Oh, Soph. What am I going to do with you? I know you would
never do this unless you were absolutely at the end. I'm sorry for doing this
to you." I say. I look down at her hand and see they left her ring on. "I guess
we're still engaged, which makes you my fiancé. That means we don't have to
discuss what we are. We're not girlfriends and we're not exes. And we're not
just friends. We're engaged." I say. She starts to stir around so I know she's
going to wake up. She turns her head so she's looking at me. She opens her eyes
and she smiles. Then she frowns. She looks away from me then looks back. She
picks up her hand and she slowly reaches out to touch me. She doesn't think I'm
really here. Her fingertips touch my cheek and she slowly puts her whole hand
on my face. She keeps it there for a couple of seconds then moves her hand down
going under my chin then to the back of my neck. She pulls me forwards just a
little bit really looking at me. Then she goes back to my face. Then she smiles
like crazy again. My heart melts just a little. I haven't seen that smile in
forever. "Sian?" she says. "You're really here?" she asks. "I'm really here
baby. I'm really here." I say. She smiles even bigger when I call her baby.
"What are you doing here?" She asks. "I
came to see my fiancé." I say. "Are we still?" she asks. "Yeah. We're still
technically engaged according to your medical emergency list. I'm listed as your
fiancé." I say. She smiles. "Does that mean we can just get married right away?"
She says. "That's what it means." I say. "Can we get married tomorrow?" She
asks. "No." I say laughing. She frowns. "Why not?" she asks. "Two reasons. We
need to plan our wedding first. And second we're not leaving this hospital for
three days." I say. "What?" She asks. "You gotta stay here for 72 hours." I
say. "Why did you say we?" She asks.
"Because I'm not leaving your side. I already made that mistake once." I say.
"No. Sian. You had a good reason to walk out on me. I was stupid and I should
have told you what happened when it happened and-." I cut her off. "No. We're
not talking about that. I don't care about that. Any of that. It's all about me
and you now. No one else. Anything bad that happened last year I'm officially
forgetting about." I say. "Me too." She says. I stand up. "Where are you
going?" she asks. "Nowhere. I just want to give my fiancé a kiss." I say. She
smiles and I lean down and kiss her. I pull away and sit back down. "Sian." She
says. "Yeah?" I ask. "I love you." She says. "I love you too." I say. "More
than you could ever imagine." I add. She smiles at me. "Sophie. Have you been
cutting yourself?" I ask. She looks away from me. "Come on. Tell me." I say.
"No." She quickly says. "Are we really going to start this relationship back off
with lies?" I ask. She looks at me. "No. I have. All month. I started the night
you left." She says. "Aww. Baby. I'm sorry. I started this." I say. "No. You
didn't. I did. I'm the one who put the blade up to my wrist. You didn't." she
says. "But if I wouldn't have left you wouldn't." she cuts me off. "No. Don't
even go there. My fault not yours." She says. I just nod my head because I
don't want to fight. I can tell she's still tired. "Sian, you're not going to
leave me if I fall asleep right?" she asks. "I won't leave this room unless you
ask me too." I say. She smiles. "Good. Because I don't want you to go." She
says giving my hand a squeeze. "Good. Because I don't want to either." I say
squeezing her hand back. She closes her eyes. "I love you." She says. I lean
forward and kiss her forehead. "I love you too." I say. In a minute she's
asleep. I look outside through the window and Kevin is standing there. I motion
him to come inside. He looks behind him then comes in shutting the door behind
him. "Thank you." He says. "For what?" I ask. "For saving her life." He says.
"I gotta protect what's mine." I say. "Sorry about Sally. She doesn't trust
you. She thinks you're just going to leave again." He says. "I'm not. Far from
that. We're already engaged, so we're going to have to tie the knot
eventually." I say. He smiles. "Did you guys talk about that?" He asks. "Yeah.
She's so eager she wanted to do it tomorrow." I say. "She always was eager." He
says. "That she is." I say. Sally walks in. "Get away from my daughter!" She
screams. "Sally. Lower your voice. She's sleeping." Kevin says. "Let's talk
about this outside." Sally says to me. "I can't. I promised her I wouldn't
leave her side." I say looking back at Sophie. "Why are you back here?" Sally
asks. "I needed to see her." I say. "You
needed to?" She asks. "Yes. I needed to see her. I was going absolutely crazy
not being able to see her." I say. "Why didn't you answer any of her phone
calls then?" She asks. "If I would have heard her voice I would have felt like
the worst person in the world." I say. "That's because you are." She says.
"Excuse me, but who are you to tell me how I am?" I ask. "When you broke my
daughters heart." She says. "In case you forgot she was the one who didn't tell
me about something. She also broke my heart. And it broke my heart even more
when I sat in that car listening to her scream my name, pleading that she was
sorry. That she loved me. I had to sit there and just pretend that it wasn't
killing me. I had to sit there and listen to the person I love the most, more
than anything or anyone, cry and plead. You don't understand how hard it was
not to climb out of that car and just pull her into my arms and tell her
everything was going to be alright." I say. "How do I know you're not just
going to leave again?" She asks. "Does it look like I'm going to leave?" I ask.
"I'm still the same Sian that Sophie kissed in her room. I'm still the same
Sian that took Sophie to the musical festival. I'm still the same Sian that you
caught in bed with Sophie." I say. "Are you?" She asks. "I'm the same Sian who
told you both off for not being there for her. And I'm going to go it again.
Have either one of you been paying attention to her lately?" I ask. "Of course
we have. She's been our center of attention all month." Sally says. "Obviously
not enough." I say. "So today I wasn't." She says. "Not just today. She's been
harming herself all month." I say. I flip her arm so they can see. "Look at
this." I say. They both look at her arm and see all the marks. "She's been
doing this all month?" Sally asks. "See. I know more about what happened to her
in the past month than you do and I wasn't even here." I say. She steps back.
"I know you would never hurt her." She says. "I just was worried and then you
came back and I just." She says. "I understand." I say. "Just know that I won't
leave her. Ever. We are going to get married one day, when we're good and
ready. I love her and she loves me. And nothing is getting in the way of me
marring the love of my life." I say. "Sian?" I hear come from Sophie. I turn
and look at her. Her eyes slowly open and look at me. "Hey." I say. "Sian. I
just remembered something." She says. "What?" I ask. "I remembered I wanted a
huge wedding with every single person we know." She says. I just smile at her.
"A big wedding?" I ask. "Very big." She says. "I think that will work." I say.
She smiles. "Mum? Dad? When did you get here?" She asks finally noticing them.
"A few minutes ago, love." Sally says. "It's just like old times." She says.
"Yeah. Just like old times." I say giving her hand a squeeze. She shuts her
eyes but squeezes my letting me know she's still awake. We use to do that all
the time. When she was in the hospital we would have our own secret conversations
by squeezing each other's hands while other people were around. I reposition
myself so I'm leaning on the bed and I'm right by her head. She opens her eyes
just a little. "Can we also have lilies at our wedding?" she whispers. "Why
lilies?" I ask. "Because the lily means
I dare you to love me. And it was the first flower you gave me." She whispers
back. "Aww. You remember that?" I ask. "Of course I do." She says. "I remember
everything about our relationship." She says. "Everything? What was I wearing when
we first kissed?" I ask. "You were wearing regular blue jeans and a white
shirt. You also had on that leather jacket exactly. And a scarf. And I bet
you're wearing the same shoes also." She says. "Which are?" I ask. "Your
converse." She says. I look down. How'd you know?" I ask. "You're always
wearing them." She says. I lean down and kiss her forehead. "Sian, I love you
more than anything. Or anyone. You know that right?" She asks. "Yeah. Of course
I know that." I say. "You know that I love you too?" I say. "Of course I do." She says. "No.
Actually I don't just love you. I'm in love with you." I say.