Summary: So after I watched the last episode I thought that while it was great that Jace and the Parabatai bond came back I wondered if there were any stories where after Jace came back that his Parabatai bond with Alec didn't return, I mean it breaks with death right and Jace was dead so it stands to reason that it could have remained broken.
I haven't found any such stories so I had to write one.
He couldn't feel him anymore, his Parabatai, his other half. Jace was gone, gone where he couldn't follow and Alec couldn't breath. Even Magnus' hand on his arm and his presence beside him didn't help.
But Alec couldn't grieve Jace's loss, not yet, maybe not ever, he may not even survive Valentine's war.
"We have to get to the Mirror." Alec gasped as he pushed himself up and forced his tears back.
"Alec, we ca-" Izzy began.
"Don't, Izzy, we don't have time."
"Alexander..." Magnus tried.
"Let's get to Idris." Alec said as he brushed passed them to get his bow and arrows.
Leaving the portal was almost grounding for Alec, the cold air of Idris reminded Alec that there was still a chance for them to stop Valentine and save Clary, even though it was too late for Jace.
"We're too late." Izzy breathed, "He's raised the Angel."
Alec's breath caught, he couldn't lose Magnus too, not after losing Jace.
"Magnus, you need to get to safety." Alec was close to begging his Warlock to run, to be safe.
"We need to find Jace and Clary." Magnus said as he began walking toward the glow of the Angel.
Alec's heart stopped for a moment because it didn't matter if they found them both, Jace was gone and Clary would be heartbroken, just like Alec was soul-shattered.
Alec stopped short when he saw Jace and Clary hugging one another tightly, he barely glanced at Valentine's body as he stared at his living breathing Parabatai.
"They're okay!" He found himself shouting. Actually they're more than okay."
Alec stomach was still twisting itself into knots because he still couldn't feel Jace.
"Jace, I thought you were dead. Our rune, it disappeared." Alec said, almost pleading for Jace to tell him it was nothing.
"Look at it now." Jace said and Alec pulled his shirt up to reveal bare skin where his Parabatai rune should have been.
Jace looked shocked and terrified as he stared at the place where they had once been connected, his hand going to his mark as he pushed his own shirt up to look at the fading mark.
"What?" Jace gasped, tears in his eyes, "No, Alec, I don't understand. Clary?" Jace reached for her instead of Alec and Alec wondered if it was just Jace's death that had caused their bond to break or if there had been other factors.
Alec stepped back and let Izzy and Magnus help Jace and Clary while he pulled an arrow out of his quiver and just in case there were more Circle members in the area.
Alec couldn't stand the sight of Jace dancing with Clary like there was nothing wrong in the world, and maybe with Valentine and his son dead they were finally free but they weren't Parabatai anymore and Alec felt lost and more alone than ever, and all things considered that was saying something.
Alec glanced at where Magnus was laughing with a group of Vampires, a drink in his hand and Alec sighed as he set his drink down and left the Hunter's Moon. As he stepped into the night he closed his eyes and let the cool night air surround him.
"Alexander?" A loved voice called, softly.
Alec opened his eyes so he could see Magnus, "Yes?"
"Are yo-, is everything alright?" Magnus asked, his eyes concerned.
Alec's mouth opened to assure Magnus that he was just fine, that everything was fine, but, he had promised to always be honest with Magnus and he couldn't bring himself to lie to Magnus again.
"No, nothing is alright." Alec whispered.
"Alexander..." Magnus began.
"Don't, please just," Alec didn't know what else to say, every time he heard Magnus say his full name his heart broke a little more, how many times can something be broke until the pieces are just too small to be broken any more?
"Everything is wrong." Alec found himself saying as he slid down the wall to sit, his head in his hands, trying to stop his tears from falling.
"Alexander." Magnus said again and pulled him into his arms, just holding him there.
"I can't feel Jace, he's gone and I see him but sometimes when I'm alone I reach for him to make sure he's safe, like I've always done and there's just nothing and it just feels like he's dying again each time I reach and he's not there." Alec sobbed, "And he's always with Clary and he won't talk to me. Like you." Alec whispered into Magnus' shoulder.
"Me?" Magnus asked quietly.
"I... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about the Soul Sword, I was trying to figure out how without ruining everything. I just- I didn't know how." Alec said, managing to look at Magnus without leaving the safety of his arms. "I miss you, I...I never thought I'd actually have to live without you and it was the hardest thing I've ever done, walking around like everything was okay and nothing was wrong. It felt like I was dying, even before Jace did."
"Oh, Alexander." Magnus whispered as he pressed a kiss to Alec's hair, "I'm sorry too, I should have let you explain."
"You walked away from me, Magnus." Alec whispered, "Izzy told me I stood there for an hour before she came to get me, I kept waiting for you to look back, but you didn't."
"I knew I would have gone back if I did, Darling, I'm sorry."
"I can't lose you too, please, not you too." Alec cried softly as tears fell down his creeks again.
"Never, come on, let's get you to a bed." Magnus murmured as he lifted Alec into his arms after opening a portal.
"Ours?" Alec asked sleepily as they entered the portal.
Magnus looked at a nearly sleeping Alec and nodded, "Ours, we'll talk more in the morning and I'll look into your Bond with Jace."
"I love you, Magnus." Alec murmured as he drifted off into sleep.
"Aku cinta kamu.(I love you)" Magnus returned as he settled his Shadowhunter into the bed they had shared, that Magnus hadn't been able to sleep in since he had left Alexander behind that day.
Magnus tucked Alexander under the covers before readying himself for bed, washing away his makeup and pulling off his jewelry, sending a quick text to Izzy and Raphael that he and Alexander were safe at the loft before turning off both phones knowing that Izzy would text them all night for details or treats before crawling into the bed, under the covers, his heart breaking when Alexander immediately reached out for him wondering how many nights he had done so in his bed at the Institute only to find nothing and no one or how many nights Alexander had just skipped sleeping to avoid sleeping in his bed alone.
Magnus shivered and pulled Alexander into his arms, the younger man resting his head on his chest and throwing an arm and a leg across Magnus' body before settling down, breathing deep and even.
The real world could wait, Hell, the real world could burn for all Magnus cared, as long as he could have this, as long as this Nephilim, his Nephilim was right here in his arms, and Magnus knew he should be afraid of what he would do to keep Alexander safe, to keep him his but Magnus also knew that he would burn the would just to keep him safe if he thought it would work.
But for now he closed his eyes and went to sleep, his Nephilim's weight on top of him, his breath against him, and Magnus' arms around Alexander's shoulder, secure in the knowledge that the Downworld was safe from the plans of Valentine and his son and that Alexander would be there when he woke.
Author Note: So I have to ask, was I the only one to notice that Magnus never calls Alec by Alec, that he always calls him Alexander, even when he is in Valentine's body, I feel like Alec would notice that and it annoys me that he doesn't believe Magnus during that episode because of that. I mean, yeah, I guess it can be argued that it is such a small thing but no one else calls him Alexander, why would Valentine? Mini-rant done, sorry.
I realized that I focused more on the Malec relationship than Jace and Alec's but this was what wanted to be written, I don't know if I will come back to this so it is a one-shot for now.