All characters © Ryohgo Narita

NOTE: My first Durarara fic. Still trying to get a feel for the characters. Hope you enjoy!

Quandary

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With the exception of antagonizing Heiwajima Shizuo, Orihara Izaya normally had no business in Ikebukuro unless he was on a job. Or if he was bored.

Today just happened to be the latter.

Usually when there was nothing to do, Izaya resorted to two things: going for walks or bothering Shizuo. The walks allowed Izaya to get some fresh air and to gather information on the townsfolk. And bothering his old classmate...well, that was just fun.

Unlike Shizuo, who relied on brute strength to accomplish things, Izaya sought refuge in his wits, opting to counteract indirectly and slyly from the shadows. But he knew that Shizuo was smart; Izaya knew this for a fact. He had often caught a glimpse of the latter's grades when hacking into the headmaster's computer to change them. Heck, despite all of the mailbox-chucking and people-hurling, that guy probably had more humanity in him than Izaya himself.

However, Shizuo's good judgment was often clouded by that nasty temper of his, that virulent irascibility that veiled his eyes like a second pair of sunglasses. A scarlet pair. Izaya chuckled to himself as he walked, hands deep in his pockets. He walked like he owned the town, which in a sense he did. Humans were his playthings, his sheep in the pen of humanity. There was just something so amusing about messing with them. Which made him love everyone even more.

And even though he did not enjoy Shizuo as much as the rest of the population, there was so much entertainment to be found in driving that guy's blood pressure up. What should he do today? Frame him for a crime? Cut him a little?

"Choices, choices," Izaya sighed happily as he rounded a corner. A smile turned up the corners of his mouth as his eyes came to rest on a figure. Well well, speak of the devil. His boredom was about to be alleviated.

Shizuo stood at the end of the block, arms folded across his chest. "IIzaaaya-kun."

"Shizzy!" Izaya exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. He spread his arms wide. "What a surprise!"

With a scowl that was somehow humored, Heiwajima Shizuo stepped into view. "What did I say I'd do if I saw the likes of you in Ikebukuro again?" he asked menacingly. Although his tone was even, Izaya knew better. He knew the signs. Off came the glasses, check. Out came the cigarette, crushed helplessly in half and mushed under the sole of one shoe. Check.

"No time for small talk today, hmm," Izaya noted, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. It helped him gather up momentum for the flying appliance/machinery/etc that would undoubtedly come flying in his direction momentarily. He waited.

It never came.

Izaya cracked an eye open, slightly confused at the sight of Shizuo with his arms around an ATM machine, unmoving. "What's the matter, Shizu-chan? Can't lift it?" Shizuo only grunted in his effort to pick up the ATM. Izaya frowned. He'd seen Shizuo lift much heavier things in their line of rivalry.

He took a few steps closer, his head cocked to the side like a dog intent on catching a squirrel. "You do look a little peaky," he observed. "Sick?"

What he got in response was a sneeze so loud that Izaya actually dropped the flickblade he'd been caressing in his hand. He blinked. "Woah."

Shizuo scrubbed a sleeve across his nose for more confirmation and finally gave up trying to lift the ATM, leaning against it wearily. "You will forget about this," he told Izaya lowly, "and you will leave."

Almost skipping, Izaya approached the ATM (though not too close). "But Shizu-chan!" he exclaimed. "This is the most fun I've had all week! It's not every day I get to see you out of the game."

"I mean it."

"What's black and white and red all over? It looks like you're running a fever, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo put his sunglasses back on, a pernicious glower turning down his mouth. "I will kill you," he growled.

Izaya gave him a wide-eyed stare. "No, you won't," he said. "You look like you can't even walk." No use trying to keep the smugness out of his tone. He could do whatever he wanted to Shizuo and the guy would be powerless to stop him. This was turning out to be a beautiful day.

"We'll...see about that," Shizuo panted, straightening up. He took a few steps toward Izaya before he sneezed again, stumbled, and collapsed, legs crumpling beneath him. Izaya's eyebrow rose.

"Shizzy?"

After hearing no response he walked over until he was standing over the bartender. Izaya leaned over, prodding him with one foot. "Shiiiizu-chan~" Shizuo was unconscious and sweating weakly behind his flaxen bangs. Izaya poked him with his toe again. "What good is taunting you if you're not awake for it?" he asked.

Sighing, Izaya removed his foot from Shizuo's side and contemplated for a minute. "This isn't fun anymore," he remarked. After another minute of deliberation, he took out his cell phone. It wasn't pity or gratitude, really. Izaya just didn't get amusement from fighting sick people. Besides, he needed Shizuo in top condition for the next time they crossed paths. That was all.

"It's me, Shinra," he said once someone had picked up on the other end of the line.

End.