A World Without You

Once, you asked me if I believe that this world would be free from all those titans and I answered you confidently that I believed in it and I would do anything to make it. I remembered when I said that your eyes were not focused on me anymore; you looked at the outside window from my bedroom. Your beautiful green eyes were gentle but strong enough to convince anyone that things I said to you would happen but after a while, your eyes began to change… They were filled with small tears forming little by little till it dropped to the white clothe you were using.

"Why are you crying, brat?" I asked you harshly the way I usually do to you every single time.

You smiled at the question I asked you, a very gentle smile that I had never seen before, a smile that would make you afraid that it would be gone from you. "No, nothing," was what you replied to me with your hands trying to wipe the tears away from your beautiful face.

When I came closer to you, you only smiled at me; another gentle smile that I would love to be able to picture it for a gift when it was all end. No titans, no killing, no nothing. Just a peaceful life with someone that you love.

"It wouldn't be nothing if you cried, Eren," I said while wiping the rest of the tears from your beautiful stunning eyes.

I looked closer to your face, looking at your eyes, begging you to tell me the truth behind the tears that you made. I knew something was not right when you cried, I knew that you were trying to hide the pain that you carry everyday but I wish, I wish that you would tell me about this thing that pains you. This thing that made you cried. This thing that made you sad. What was it? What was it, Eren?

You looked at me back; again with another heart-warming smile, a smile that confuse me. You suddenly asked me this question that for me, looked like a before dead wish. "Would you do something for me, Levi?" you asked me with your hands on mine gesturing something that I wouldn't be able to describe at all.

Yes was the only answered that I could come up with and you made me promised that I would do it for you. Another yes came out from my mouth and I asked you about this promised that you want me to make.

"Would you please, kill me when all titans are gone from this world?" you said and I was shocked. I couldn't say anything in reply, I was… speechless.

You looked at me again with your confusing smile, "I… only wanted you to be the one who do this to me, Levi. Please, promised me!" you were begging at me. Begging for me to promise something that would hurt you forever, something that would hurt me. Forever…

The time has come… The time to fulfill the promised I made to you years before. A promised that will hurt you. A promised that will hurt me forever…

I came inside your room, the normal room; not the underground room with chains and hard-wooden mattress. I looked at you who was sitting on the bed looking into space, I cleared my throat to call you and you looked back at me with a happy smile. I couldn't smile back at you but I could only look at you with a relief face.

"It is such a nice day today, Levi," you said with a happy tone on the words.

I kept on looking at you and yes, it was a nice day; it was a bright day where I wish I could spent it with you looking at the place you wanted to see, the sea. You said before that you wanted to see the sea because of what Armin's book described about it. I wanted to be able to see it with you, Eren. But, the decision had been made, the promised that you wanted me to do. Only me who could do it…

I walked closer to you and hug you gently while you only looked at me with a confuse look written all over your face. "What is it, Levi? Acting like a spoiled boy," you chuckled at the statement you threw to me. Yes, I was acting spoiled in front of you because I knew that I would have to hurt you. I had to DO it for you. I had to…

You hugged me back and smiled at me, those gentle smiles with those gentle green eyes that I had always love for my life. I let you go from the warmth of the hug that you gave to me, the warmth that I gave to you. I kissed you forehead and said if you wanted to go with me to somewhere else. It took you a while to reply back to me but, after a while you asked me again about the place I wanted you to go to. I could only smile a little and looked outside the window, "Somewhere I wanted to show you for such a long time."

The hot summer wind was blowing greeted everyone that came to that place with the bright blue sky. I could see the happiness shined from the beautiful eyes of yours and written all over the face when you saw the place I wanted you to see. You ran while your hand was still locked on mine which caused you to drag me along when you ran to the see the place closer.

When we ran to the place together, I could feel the small tingling sensation over my feet from the white sand that was there all along and I could also feel the fresh wind that was different when I was using the stuffs to kill those titans, just different air. You kept on running till you reached the water that you have always wanted to see, the place that you have always dreamt of. The sea that you have always told me about…

I sat on the thin fabric to avoid the sand to get inside as I didn't want my pants to get dirty with it and waited for you, who was playing with the water and looking at the big blue sky like you have never seen it before. Good things that I brought some spare clothes for you and me as it would likely be that you would pull me to the water and get me all soaked up but above all that, I was glad that I could give you something before the day come. Something memorable for you to remember with a smile even though it would only hurt me instead hurt me deep inside my heart.

"Levi! Come play with me too!" you asked me to join you who was all soaked up because of the salty water.

I looked at you and stared for a moment lost in my own thought about how beautiful it would be with you living with me, having our own house which would be safe enough for both of us and live such a peaceful life. But again… that thought came again. The thought of hurting you.

You came to me and reached for my hand with your wet hand with the smell of the sea all over you. I stood up and walked with you together to the sea while you began playing with the water and made me wet with all of the salty water. I was enjoying myself, I was glad to be able to bring you this place. I was grateful that God gave me this time to be able to enjoy myself with my loved one.

After a few hours playing with the sea, we went to change our clothes and enjoying the rest of the time looking at the blue water. "Tomorrow is the day, huh," you reminded me of something that I didn't want to remember at all.

"Yeah," I answered with the usual face and the same harshness I usually do to hide away the pain inside.

You stood up all of a sudden with a smile on your face, "Let's do something else, I want to look around with you," while grabbing all the things we packed and wait for me to get up.

"Sure." I stood up and walked with him.

Today is the day. The day to fulfill the promised I said in front of you. The promised that will forever remind in my heart, itching and bleeding inside till it stop beating. I will wait till it stop itching and come to your place.

I walked to the court where all people will see the scene and rejoice at the final scene. I took a deep breath as I walked there and came across your room, it was not properly closed so I only took a little peek at it to look at what you were doing. You were there, sitting on the bed with the full uniform you were wearing and suddenly you were laying on the bed as if you were feeling the softness from it. I knew how it felt to sleep on the wooden bed and moved to the normal bed, there was the softness that you never knew about it which was comfortable.

I closed my eyes and stopped peeking, I silently sighed on the wall near to your door. But all of a sudden, I heard a sobbing sound coming from your room. I smiled; a little smile only, I was glad that I wasn't the only one who was hurt. I was glad that I had made the decision and I would follow it till the end of my life. My own decision that would always has a connection with you, Eren.

The bell was ringing, I walked to the court and there were many others from the Scouting Legion too. There was Armin, Mikasa with her red scarf, Jean and the rest of the others and I could see you in the middle of the court. You were bound to the wooden pole with ropes on your hands and legs as if trying to stop you from running away but, I knew that you wouldn't run away from it. I knew that because, it was your decision.

I walked to the middle of the court and looked at your face. I couldn't hold my tears but I tried my best to hold it for you, Eren.

"Thank you, Corporal Levi," was what you said before I drew my sword.

"Thank you, Levi for showing me the world without harm," was the last line before I drew the sword inside your heart.

His body fell on me with many blood around it, "Thank you for everything, Levi," was the final word before you left me with your dead body only.

I hugged the soulless body tightly, I cried for the first time of my life for something dear that I love the most. I love the most. And now it is gone…

The rest of the team cried too, I remember the sobbing sound on the court and the raging sound of the people as the last titan now is gone. I closed my eyes again feeling the dead body I was once loved and now is gone with my own hands. "I love you, brat."

"I've always love you, Eren."

"I love you," was the last word I could say before the team took him away from me to give him a proper burial.

I stood up slowly after a few minutes staring into the blood on the floor as well as on my hands, I looked at the place where the team stood before. I saw Hanji was still there as if she was waiting for me and to comfort me.

She came to me and asked if I was alright, "Now, tell me Hanji. What have I become?" I asked her, losing all my hope for this world. Losing all the happiness I ever had before. Losing all of you…

"A Hero, inside those eyes," she replied on my question.

A hero? Would a hero kill his own comrade? Would he kill his own loved one? Would he kill his own world? I wonder, I wonder if I really became a hero. Because, I felt like I have become a murderer now.

"Would a hero kill his own precious person, Hanji?" I asked her and walked away from the court to my own room to realize everything that was happening to me. Everything that was happening to you, Eren…

Because, everything was falling apart right now…Without you beside me, my love.

THE END

By: Ame no Shishi (Soranokuma)

(I'm sorry, I'm still new in here. Sorry for the grammar mistake and for any out of charas things above.)

(I would love to have an opinion about this. Thank you)