Normally, Artemis wouldn't have cared if Wally decided to go jump off a bridge and drown.
Unfortunately, today didn't turn out to be one of those normal days, just like the past five days. Like she had said, normally she wouldn't have cared if Wally decided to move to Alaska, but since he stopped being the chipper, annoying, cute, fun-loving speedster he was she suddenly realized she missed Wally.
It was unnerving.
He hadn't been coming to the cave as soon as school was out like he normally did, instead arrived three or four hours later, hair ruffled and clothes askew. Normally she would dismiss it as nothing.
"None of your business, dude!" Wally snapped at Dick, who was standing back defensively while the training floor underneath them marked their footsteps in bright-red heat sensitive symbols.
Artemis looked up from her coffee that her and M'gann were talking over, to see Dick catapult over to Wally, tackling him onto the floor and pinning his freckled wrists above his head.
"Rehtegot sdnah s'yllaW eit!" Zatanna chanted, her outstretched hand directed towards the redhead. Magically, binds roped themselves tightly around Wally's wrists.
"Not you too, Z," Wally groaned, while Dick searched the speedster's pockets quickly. Magically, a bind wrapped itself around Wally's mouth as well.
Artemis raised an eyebrow, quickly taking a drink of her coffee, and looking over towards M'gann, "think they're doing some sort of weird kinky threesome foreplay?"
Dick raised a think black object far above his head in triumph, smiling broadly. It took Artemis 0.05 seconds to realize it was Wally's phone, "Dick-"
He ignored her, instead stringing a jack out of his wrist communicator and plugging it into Wally's phone. The phone lit up and then began transferring all of the history and data over to his technology.
Within a few minutes, Dick wrapped his cord back up, tossed Wally's phone back onto his chest and began checking the files like it was an engrossing video game.
"Eitnu," Zatanna said in a low chant, and the binds undid themselves, freeing Wally.
"Dude!" Wally yelled, annoyed, stomping over to his sunglass clad friend.
Dick shook his head, setting his tech to decode several encrypted files. He turned to Wally, "what are you hiding? What have you done with my best friend? Why aren't you eating?!"
Wally frowned, and Artemis took note that Wally was slightly thinner, but then again, he was always pretty lean. The redhead opened his mouth, shut it and shook his head, slumping over to the south wing and sliding to a sitting position along the wall.
Dick face hardened, and he took the moment to go back to the files, now labeled deleted text messages.
After about fifteen minutes of pure silence, Dick looked up from the files, "who's Linda?"
Wally put his head between his palms, squishing his temples, "my girlfriend."
Artemis felt her heart drop, and she shifted uncomfortably, swallowing thickly.
"What. The. Hell? What happened to bros before hoes?!"
"What?" Zatanna asked, eyes narrowing while Dick simply waved her off, practically sliding into Wally's lap, an arm slinging around his neck to hug him.
"They're bro hugging," M'gann said with a slight gasp, watching as Wally tightened a grip on Dick, tears streaming down his face while he hugging his best friend.
"It's like a once in a lifetime thing," Artemis agreed, discreetly snapping a picture for her wallpaper on her phone.
Red Tornado picked then to walk into the room, and survey his 'children'. Conner was working on playing catch with sphere and wolf, Artemis was having coffee with Megan, Zatanna playing with a deck of cards. Everything seemed normal.
Well, aside from Robin and Wally holding each other intimately in the middle of the training area.
He added it to his hard drive.