*Note: I've gotten lots of feed back about how Sano wouldn't write a diary or know how to write. Please take notice to the first entry that explains exactly how & why. New entrys in the diary are shown by a line break. (Sano not being one to actually number or date things).
Sanosuke's Diary?!...
I've never written a diary before, maybe because my handwriting isn't the best. As a street fighter and gangster, I really never needed good penmanship. I did learn how to read and write back with the Sekihoutai. Souzo my boss thought it was best that I learned. He believed in building a new era, but wanted us to have skills in that new era as well. Katsuhiro and myself where young enough that he hoped we would see the actual change. I also never wrote in a diary before because I thought it was something for only women to do. In the month since leaving Japan, I have learned that several people onboard write diaries. I suppose it helps pass the time and keeps our memories close at hand. It's a comfort so far away from the lands I once called home, away from friends, and dare I say even here, loved ones. Baka! That Fox is not a loved one, I just owe her at the most a thank-you for the time, okay times she spent trying to fix me. Why was I always so hard to her? I guess I've lost my chance now.
Two more weeks and the nights are cold, and the waves are suppose to be calming, but my thoughts are elsewhere. This ship is heading to America, a land of opportunity I hear. It sounds exciting. Once we reach harbor I'll go who knows where. I've heard from the other men on board about the woman in America, and they sound intriguing. Something nags in me that I would be unfaithful to her. Her who? I can't be I'm thinking of that Fox lady again. No, we aren't meant to be and even if we where, I can't ever settle down in Japan. I'm wanted and now I'm stuck across an ocean from the one I love. Shit, I don't love that lady.
I do envy Kenshin, I really do. Yahiko, when he's older will have Tsubame waiting for him, and all I have now is a memory of things, and group of shipmates who get drunk and talk about the sea and mermaids. In the dark lonely nights I see her face sometimes, and remember the touch of her hands as they wound cloth around my own. Oh how I wanted to take that cloth and wrap it around her and bind her to me. Yeah, and take her passionately and maybe a bit roughly. I wouldn't hurt her, but there is a thing called a man's needs. She toyed with my emotions, and ...I was a fool.
Now in America, I can almost hear her voice whispering on the breeze, does she think about me? I bet she does with a curse to my name. Just as I curse her, what has she done to me?! There is an image in the stars at night, of long black hair and big bright eyes, and a hint of fox ears. I miss her laugh. She is in her village by now, she most likely has several men in the village courting her, and she is deciding among them. She'll choose one with red hair if she could. What could she ever see in me? Then I up and ran off. Okay so I was chased out of Japan. Maybe in a few years I could return. Maybe they will have forgotten who I am, and what I did. Would it matter then, she'll be married and have several children by then. I think I understand Kenshin not feeling worthy for Jou-chan. Here I am thinking I couldn't be good enough for that fox. Well I tell you I am. She would never have anything better then me, but then she isn't going to wait for me either. She isn't like Jou-chan who would die without Kenshin. Fox is a bit more self-assured and use to being alone. Wait... She is use to being alone. Maybe she won't want one of those other men. Maybe I'll find her waiting for me. Yeah right, and she'll have flowers in her hair to I bet.
I think it's kind of funny. I told Kenhsin he better not dare to wander without me, and now I'm the one doing the wandering. I'm in America and have been through a lot of wilderness so far, it's been maybe 3 or 4 weeks, I've lost track of time. I wonder if that kid moved into my apartment yet. Jou-chan and Kenshin will need some time together if they are going to have a family. I guess I would be an uncle then.
I've made it to the plains, lots of dust.
It's been another few weeks, and I was thinking... You know what, they aren't my real family. I sort of wonder how my sister and brother are. I haven't thought of them in a while. My father I'm sure is doing well. It's still all their faults I'm wanted in Japan. I guess it's better me then them. How is it that Battousai can live a happy life in a dojo after killing hundreds of people, and where as when I help a small group of people, I'm hunted down? Curse the damn government. Change my ass. Damn, broke another fishbone.
The world is really big; I've been in America for months now, with so many interesting things to see. I have been staying in a place called Boston for a short time, so I sent a letter to Katsuhiro. I would have written to Kenshin, but I don't need him coming after me. I think I'll check out New York, and Washington, maybe by the time I get back here to Boston, Katsuhiro will have responded.
Yeah, the fool did. Good thing he didn't send any gifts, would have never made it past customs. Sounds like Kenshin and Jou-chan are married now, and she is going to have a kid rather soon. I wonder if it's a boy or girl. I guess she most likely had the kid by the time I actually received this, which means I'm an uncle. I think I'll celebrate and buy some sake for everyone. Oh wait...I have no one here to buy sake for.
Ah shit. Why did it take me three weeks to realize I didn't ask about the fox lady in my letter? I mean Kenshin or Jou-chan would have heard if she was married or not. Misao and Aoshi will find happiness together before I do. Damn them. I found a small piece of bandage in my pocket, I didn't realize at first I was holding on to it. Then it hit me. It was from the last time she had fixed my hand. Luckily my hands haven't needed any serious fixing. I sort of wish they did, would give me a reason to go back and visit her, but the doctors here are fine and could handle it. Why do they all have to be male doctors? Not a single gentle hand among them.
I'm bored with America, three years is enough time in one country. I'm heading to Europe, it's suppose to be rather civilized there. Yeah I'll stick out like a sore thumb. I did like the cowboys in America; they could really drink and fight with the best of them. I'm beginning to hate the sea. The stars at night keep forming her picture. Her who? That dang fox lady, why can't she leave me alone? I think in Europe I'll stop by and visit that kid Yutaro. See how his arm is doing, and his dad has some money, wouldn't hurt to have a few real nice meals. I wrote Katsuhiro again before leaving America, there should be a letter waiting for me at Yutaro's in Germany when I get there. This time I made sure to ask about the fox lady. Okay so it was scribbled badly and sort of off handily, don't need Katsuhiro thinking I actually care about her. I wonder if I should pick up some souvenirs?
I've been distracted for a few months, so haven't written anything. France was a lot of fun. I didn't particularly like England. I'll be arriving in Germany soon; the snow in Switzerland was outstanding. I hope the fox lady is doing okay. Nah, I hope that Kenshin and the rest are doing okay; the fox lady can burn in hell. What am I saying? I don't know what's happened to her. Maybe she is waiting for me? Why, why? Yahiko is most likely still being a pain to them both. I kind of miss the kid chewing on my head, strange as that sounds. Guess I never had time to appreciate having a little brother. I still can't believe I missed the wedding, maybe I'll send a gift back with my next letter.
I'm not going to cry, I'm stronger then that. I'm staying with Yutaro and his family in Germany, just for a month or two. There was a letter from Katsuhiro when I got here. Why did I bother to read it? Damn him, damn that fox lady, damn myself. I can't even repeat what I learned, but I have to. I'll start with the good news. Turns out Kenshin and Kaoru's son is named Kenji, seems to be taking after the both of them. Okay now the bad news, the fox lady has married. Damn her, I knew she wouldn't wait for me. Why do I even care, okay I do, I do care. When I meet this guy, I'm going to punch him in the face. Well if he makes Megumi happy I can't do that. Guess it's best that I don't come back to Japan. No reason to any more.
Damn Katsuhiro, he shouldn't play with my emotions like that. Curse him to the nine hells, that rich kid to and his family. They had a second letter from Katsuhiro all along. Damn damn damn. First words, wouldn't you know it...first words of his letter. 'Baka!' I should have known better. Damn it, he should have known better then to send such shit when I'm so far away. Guess if I were closer I would ring his neck. The fox lady isn't married; it was a joke of Katsuhiro's. He written to Yutaro and had him hold the letter for a day. I guess he was right however, how can I come to understand my true feelings for the fox lady unless he presented me with the situation of losing her. Okay damn it, I admit it, I love the fox lady. I can't get her out my mind. But I'm not going back to Japan. I'm not running to her arms. Just because she isn't married, doesn't mean she'll have me back. I'm a baka all right. Serves me right I suppose. I'm going to punch Katsuhiro when I see him next. Forget it from now on I'll just write to Kenshin, should have done that in the first place.
I said my good byes about four weeks ago to Yutaro and family. Sounds like they are going to return to Japan soon. Yutaro has got a good sword arm, should surprise Yahiko some. I really like Arabia, the woman here are mysterious and sensual. I think I could live here awhile. I haven't even thought about Megumi once while I was here. Okay well except for right now. I've found some fighting rings here and earned some money to get by, but mostly some odd jobs guarding this fair lady or another. These Arabs have a thing about their woman, multi-wives to. Why was I thinking about having just Megumi, here I can have all the wives I want, and two or three or five would replace one fox lady.
It's been eighteen months since I last wrote. I'm still in Arabia but I'm going to leave soon. I wrote to Kenshin once and he wants me to return for Yahiko's fifteen birthday, it's to be some sort of special celebration. Why did he have to tell me Megumi would be there? I had her out of my mind. I really did. I mean there where all sort of face less woman here. Yeah, that's the term, faceless. They didn't have faces and as such I was able to imagine they where all Megumi. No number of woman could make up for that doctor. I'm in love with her and I don't know what to do. I've been here trying to drown my sorrows in pleasure and drink but neither has helped. I think the only thing I can do is return. I'm scared for once in my life. Maybe I'll grow a beard.
I was going to make it back to Japan. I wanted to be there at Kenshin's side as he gifted Yahiko with the Sabakotu but I was side tracked in Mongolia. Well more like way laid. These people needed my help, so I helped. You know what, now that I think about it, that happened in America and Europe to. I didn't pay attention to it then. It's weird that it's natural for me now to just help people. Damn Kenshin. I wrote a letter to him, wonder what he will think about my beard. I'll be back soon, I promise.
The End...Or is it?
V1.0 - once again, not finished with the fic and already revising it. It was a bit mushy and I didn't have the locations right, so I had to change things so that he goes to America first, etc... I had stuff about pleasure districts but cut it out. I just didn't like it and distracted from the story.
V2.0 - Had to change things to include some time references. Finished it. I really liked this story. It's short and sweet. It has the Megumi and Sano thing but in a new light I bet. I may continue it to when he returns but it's more fun to just leave it where it is.
v2.1 – Spell check ran.
v2.2 – Added notes at the top. (4/5/00)
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