A/N: I don't own Bambi, Disney does. The following contains some disturbing content including a scene involving Ronno: Viewer Discretion is Advised.
Bambi's Illness
*Woods*
(Let's Sing a Gay Little Spring Song is playing in the background but way more gay than usual)
With hunting season happening at any moment, all of the woodland critters are enjoying some last minute relaxation in the woods like the unpatriotic, draft-dodging, little hippie-shits that they are, except Bambi was missing.
"Hey has anyone seen Bambi?" Asked Thumper as he was plowing his bitch wife in front of his friends, lacking any common decency whatsoever while not giving two flying fucks about it.
"I (pant) haven't (pant) seen (pant) him." Said Thumper's Bitch Wife.
"DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK YOU DUMB SLUT?!" Thumper said as he gave his wife a black eye along with a fat-lip. This caused her to run off crying, before running face-first into a tree.
"Dumb bitch, anyone seen Bambi?" Thumper asked again.
"Fuck should I know?" Flower replied after burying his dead wife Bluebelle. Having caught her with a French Skunk, he killed and buried both of them in shit.
"Well, if my husband wasn't spending so much time with that Blue Bird skank a few trees down we would've seen him!" Mrs. Quail snapped.
"She's our realtor! And how about those glances you give to that faggot Woodpecker across the tree?!" Mr. Quail fired back, a clear indication that his marriage to Mrs. Quail wasn't working out so well.
"Mother was right; I should've married that Humming Bird from Oxford! At least he could pleasure me right!" Mrs. Quail said with remorse.
"Before or after you caught him taking it up the ass from that same, gay-ass, faggot Woodpecker?" Mr. Quail sneered.
As the Quails' fighting worsened, Thumper asked 2 other animals the same question.
"I….uh…..ain't….a….seen….him." Toad said as he licked his own arm, causing him to start tripping balls.
"If I wasn't blind, I'd help you out." Said The Mole since he couldn't see but smiled anyway.
Thumper wanted to curb-stomp the smart-ass mole for wasting his time, but then…
"HELP!" Came a cry from the woods causing all the furry little bastards to turn around in unison and bringing the music to a stop. Just then, Bambi's sperm bank wife Faline emerged from some bushes, she was bloodied, bruised and sobbing her eyes out.
"Fuck what happened to ya' Faline? Better not be any S&M shit." Thumper Asked.
"No….. its Bambi!" She said between tears.
"Wait you've seen him? That's awesome! Been waiting for that bastard all morning! So how is the mother-fucker doing?" Thumper asked, completely ignoring Faline's pain like the selfish asshole that he is.
Before Faline could even respond, Bambi came through the brush: His eyes were red, his horns bloody, his face had several dark warts, his fur was mangy and parts of his ribs were exposed. His jaws clenched the severed heads of the twins he had with Faline: Geno and Gurri, which he dropped in front of his traumatized wife.
"OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO!" Faline shrieked as she ran up to the heads of her former babies on the ground, cried, and looked at Bambi.
"Darling..….(sob)…..why?…..(sob)….please?...(sob)…..why did you…..?" Faline then screamed bloody murder as Bambi bit her on the throat and thrashed her around like a rag doll.
All the other animals were horrified, except for Thumper, he was cheering his friend on. "YEAH-HA-HA BAMBI AWESOME JOB! PUT THAT BITCH IN HER PLACE AND TEACH…."
Just then Bambi ripped Faline's throat out, causing liters of blood to shoot out of her neck arteries. As she sank to the ground, gurgling her own warm blood, she made eye-contact with Bambi one last time before her demented husband delivered one stomp to her face and crushed it. Even Thumper was scarred shitless at this point.
Taking advantage of being scared, Flower sprayed Bambi, this only made thing worse because now, Bambi gored Flower with his antlers and threw his lifeless body into a tree before turning his attention to the others.
Thumper's Wife walked up to him but before she could say anything, Thumper broke one of her legs and tossed her towards Bambi. As Bambi ripped the screaming bitch bunny to shreds, Thumper then said to his remaining friends "RUN LIKE YOUR BALLS ARE AT STAKE!" And with that, the chase began.
As the group ran off, Ronno had returned from the Sex-Offender registry.
Ronno greeted his friends by saying "Hey guys, I just had some consoling and am perfectly…"
"RUN YOU PEDO-FAG, BAMBI'S GONE FUCKING POSTAL!" Thumper yelled as he and the others ran past the startled sex-offender.
(Turns around and faces the direction the others ran through) "Wait...he's not still mad about that one time I tried lick one of his kid's…..." Ronno then screamed at the top of his lungs as he felt something bite down hard on his chode and nuts, forcing him onto the ground. The attacker happened to be Bambi who with one, strong, swift, rip, turned Ronno into a Rhonda.
As Rono was wailing with his new high-pitched voice non-stop, Bambi mounted the neutered deer and penetrated its fresh new hole. But after 10 thrusts, Ronno bled out and died. Unsatisfied, Bambi pursued his former friends.
Toad tried to run but licking his own arms caused him to overdose and die.
Mole tried tunneling away, only to tunnel through a cliff, fall and die on impact.
The Quails found refuge in what they thought was an empty tree, only to be eaten alive by the Opossum family that lived in there.
Being a fatass, Thumper burned through his energy way too fast and was cornered by Bambi, who was snarling right at him with what remained of Ronno's genitals hanging from his teeth.
Not wanting to lose his junk, the terrified bunny tried reasoning with his best friend. "Look Bambi…..those guys were all asshats…you and me….we're pals…. let's just get you to a doctor…. then we can sort this whole thing out with a few drinks while snorting a few lines with some cheap hookers and…."
The demonic Bambi only roared, causing the Bunny to curl up in a ball, his front and hind limbs covering his crotch, in a last ditch, desperate attempt to protect his dick and balls.
Just then Thumper heard a gunshot followed by a bullet impacting Bambi's Skull, killing him. Uncurling Thumper saw his savior was The Man, only this one was wearing a Cowboy hat, had long hair, a goatee, a t-shirt that read "Damn Yankees" on the front and wielded a modern camo-hunting rifle w/ a scope. The man was visibly pissed and cursed at something called "Chronic Wasting Disease."
Overjoyed, Thumper did a few thumps and jumped around like a demented, lobotomized, crackhead, circus monkey and got The Man's attention.
Thumper then praised The Man by saying, "WOOO-HOOOOO YAAAAAAY THANKS MAN! YOU JUST SAVED MY COCK AND NUTS! IF YOU NEED ANYTHING: WHETHER IT BE DRUGS, A HAND-JOB OR MAYBE EVEN BOTH, FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK….."
Just then The Man blew Thumper's head clean off, causing the bunny to fall on his back and twitch his left foot a few times before finally stopping.
Glad at the turn of events, The Man collected his rabbit kill, tossed it into the back of his truck that was littered with Pro George W. Bush stickers along with some Anti Obama Stickers, got in, turned the ignition, blasted his song "Cat Scratch Fever"and drove home.
Due to not being featured in this fanfic, Friend Owl survived and got to live a long, successful life and claim many bitches for his own harem.
The End.
A/N: Anyway, I'm going to be busy this upcoming week so I'm going to make a few, short fanfics like this one for you guys to enjoy in the meantime. My schedule should be back to normal the Monday after Easter. Anyway, feel free to review!
Also for safety reasons, here a link about Chronic Wasting Disease and how to avoid it:
/faq/
Anyway Stay Safe!