Disclaimer: Marvel owns X-Men…no cash for me
**Leatherman Supertool is an "all in one" device that
contains several quality, compact tools (similar to a Swiss Army Knife) yet
fits comfortably on a belt.
***BDU stands for Battle Dress Uniform – often called "cammies" or camouflage gear. Recon hat refers to those worn by US Marine Recon Team – Special Forces.
**==**==**
February 15th – the day after Logan surprised Storm for their first Valentine's Day together.
As the 2 o'clock hour passed, Logan finished his last set of bench presses and threw his workout towel over his shoulder. With the thought of the previous night's activities still fresh in his mind, he cut his workout short and walked back to the bedroom. His entire schedule was off that day by about 2 hours because he woke up so much later than he was accustomed to. But then he really needed the rest, and judging by how tired he was when Storm finally let him go to sleep, he also needed to revamp his cardiovascular exercises.
The winks and approving (yet disbelieving) nods he received from the X-Women he passed in the hall told him that they had already conversed with Storm about her Valentine's evening adventure. Although his outward appearance was as stern and undaunting as ever, inside he couldn't help but laugh hysterically. His well-earned reputation of being an undisciplined and barely civilized hard-ass was deeply entrenched in the minds of all the X-Men and none of them would have believed he had such a romantic side; none except for Storm that is – the one that knew him best. Had it been anyone but her telling of his romantic exploits, their claims would have been questioned – and laughed at.
"What the heck are you two gigglin' about?!" He snapped as he passed Psylocke and Rogue in the hallway. "Has everyone gone crazy or sumpn'? Everywhere I go, people are gigglin' and carryin' on…what the heck fer?!"
"C'mon Sugah…you know why we're gigglin'."
"Izzatso? Well why don't you enlighten me?" he said in a gruff yet slightly smug voice.
"If what Storm claims you did is true, then we have a new King of Romance around here." Betsy said as she gave an approving pat to the side of Logan's cheek. "So how about it? Did you really do all that stuff?"
"I ain't the type ta kiss and tell Betts" he said with a wink. "Let's just say that I'm the best at what I do and leave it at that. You two seen Storm?"
"Yeah Logan – ah just saw her a minute ago headed for the lake. She said she was lookin' for ya."
"Thanks Darlin'" he said as he quickly changed direction and headed out the front door.
"No problem…your highness!" Rogue yelled as he walked away. He could hear them giggling.
Though you couldn't tell from the expression on his face, he was glad the X-Women now saw him in a different light. They didn't mind having him by their side in the heat of battle, but seemed to distance themselves from him when it came to more personal things. It was no surprise to him that they didn't fully understand his relationship with Storm either. They all knew of Storm's intelligence and respected her decisions – after all, she was their field commander, and every time they went on a mission, they placed their lives in her very capable hands. This relationship however was something they didn't expect. When the couple revealed their relationship to the X-Family a few weeks prior, their announcement was met with widespread gasps and sighs. No one said it out loud, but they all thought she had more "class." The only one that wasn't surprised and seemed to give them any support was Jean. Being as close as she was to both of them, she knew they were perfect for each other and had long expected they would eventually find themselves attracted to each other. It now appeared that others were starting to see this as well…
He made a quick scan of the lake and saw no one around, but something on the dock caught his eye. He couldn't tell exactly what it was from that distance, but it looked a lot like a 6-pack with a note attached to it. As he made his way closer to the dock, he could make out the very distinctive logo of "Molson's" – his favorite Canadian beer.
"She must be around here somewhere" he said as he approached the waiting beer. Who else would leave a 6-pack of my favorite ale sitting out here?"
**POP POP POP**
Just as he bent over to pick the note and one of the beers up, 3 well-placed paintballs hit him, sending him head over heels off the dock. "OWWWW!!!" he yelled as he went tumbling into the lake. The 3 shots caught him completely by surprise, hitting him dead on - center of mass (though center of ass would be a more appropriate description).
"What the Flamin'?!" he yelled as he climbed onto the dock looking for his next victim. He could hear Storm laughing in the distance, but couldn't tell where she was. He knew she was in the woods, but had no idea how far away she was because of the way the wind distorted her laughter. Remembering that she was a master at small-arms fire, the only limiting factor to her position was the range of the paint gun – which unfortunately for him had been altered by Forge and Cyclops to make it an effective training tool.
"Alright Darlin'! Whereya at and what's this about?" He yelled, trying to figure out what was going on. The only reply he received was more laughter.
As he bent over the second time to grab the note, he remained on guard – looking for any sign of the cunning and skillful sniper. He crouched low, grabbed the note and read it quickly.
The hunt is on and you are the prey
Less you turn the tables and make the play
Come get me Love, if you dare
But I have prepared and you should beware
At that point he knew he was in for an afternoon of fun – his kind of fun. He smiled as he reached for a beer to start the hunt off properly. Unfortunately all 6 cans were empty…drilled from the bottom.
"Cripes!" he yelled with a laugh, "A shot in the ass ain't worth a flamin' beer?!"
"You didn't think it would be that easy did you? You'll get your beer and your just desserts once the hunt is over" she yelled back, using a wind draft to hide her location "…if you win, that is."
With that said and done, he was up and headed toward the woods. "So that's the name o' this game huh? This hunt'll be over in a matter of minutes" he said with complete confidence as he sniffed the air her scent.
He wasn't in the woods more than a minute when he picked up her scent and started homing in on her location. As he closed in on her, he started laughing – wondering what his reward would be when he caught her; that's when he spotted her. He could see her thick white hair through a bush lying next to a large tree. *This is too easy* he thought to himself as he took off toward the bush. He ran like a rampaging beast straight at the bush – doing an impressive hurdle at the last second, clearing it easily with about 2 feet to spare. He landed about 4 feet behind her in true predator form.
Much to his surprise, as quickly as he landed he was jerked into the air by a trapper's net – caught tightly in its grip.
"What the…?!" he yelled as he twisted and turned in the net trying to figure out how he was so easily trapped. He looked to Storm for an answer only to see a long white wig on top of a very familiar shirt – the one she wore the previous day. He laughed at how easily he was tricked. It seemed that in his thirst to hunt the hunter, he seriously underestimated his prey.
**POP POP POP**
Insult was added to injury when she tagged him 3 more times on his ass – leaving a distinct yellow mark to showcase her victory.
"Yowww!" he yelled.
"Would you like me to go easy on you Logan? Or are you going to give me a challenge today?" she yelled from her hidden position.
"This ain't over! I'm just getting' warmed up Darlin'" he yelled while trying to reposition himself to catch a glimpse of the beautiful assassin. "Just you wait! I'll have the last laugh!"
"If you say so Love!" she said as she popped him again and faded off into the woods. "But I'm the one laughing now…"
As he regained his composure, he saw a small package dangling next to him with a note attached to it. He snatched both items and quickly read the note.
Underestimate me? I don't think so.
Silent and Deadly, the assassin called Ro
I'll leave you with this – hang tight and stay cool
To get the job done, you will need the right tool
He opened the box and pulled out a Leatherman Supertool** – something she saw him looking at in a catalog once. It was a very nice gift and perfect for a famed outdoorsman like Logan. She even had it engraved: To Lo, From Ro.
"Thanks Darlin', this'll come in real handy on missions when I need ta MacGyver somethin'. Musta set ya back a pretty penny!" he yelled as he pulled out one of its blades and started cutting himself free.
"My man is worth it!" she yelled back without giving up her position.
He could have easily used his claws to free himself, but she had gone through the trouble of buying such a nice tool for him and it would have been a shame not to use it. Besides that, it was a new toy for him to play with. He quickly cut himself down and reassessed the situation.
As he walked over and grabbed the shirt and wig that deceived him, he laughed at himself - not believing how easily he was tricked. He would have to be smarter next time. Unless she chose not to wear pants the previous day, there would be other things out there with her scent.
Upon picking up the scent of her perfume, he took off through the woods. He ran wild - like a rampaging animal; grunting, and tearing through vines and stray limbs while leaping over whole bushes. He wanted her to know he was coming; he wanted to startle her into doing something that would reveal her position. She couldn't have been more than a few minutes ahead of him, and if he was fast enough, he could force her to hastily make her next move possibly showing her location. Her scent grew strong inside him as it guided him to her. It was only a matter of time before he caught her and celebrated his overdue victory. When her scent became so vibrantly strong that it alerted him to her immediate presence, he finally slowed and carefully scanned the area.
There she was, about 50 yards ahead on a small slope crouching in the underbrush. He knew it was her this time, he could see her moving. In front of the brush lay a clearance that seemed adequate for hiding another trap. Keen to her plan of following the path right up to the trap and getting snared again, he encircled her location and came up on her right with plans to outflank her. Because she lay so low, he couldn't make out her physical details; but that wouldn't matter much in a few seconds. As he closed in on her, he saw the trap she laid out for him – another net that lay in the clearing with the ropes cleverly attached to the closest tree. He pondered what he would do next. He came closer and saw a large rock – large enough to set the trap off in his place. Picking the rock up, he hurled it at the trap and sprang into motion. As the trap sprung, Logan jumped out, landing in the spot previously held by the net.
"Lookin' for me Darlin?" he yelled as he landed on cue.
"Urk?!" **Thud**
That was the sound he made as he slipped on a thick patch of ice hidden beneath the leaves – the trap beneath the trap. He tried to catch his grip but couldn't as he slid down the small slope toward the tree. He couldn't quite make out the ropes attached to the tree but knew it was something bad. It wasn't until he slid into it and the net snagged him and flung him in the air that he realized the full scope of the situation – caught again: Storm 2, Wolverine 0.
**Snikt**
He sliced through the net almost as fast as it snagged him and quickly regrouped on the ground awaiting the impending paint gunshots. He saw nothing as he carefully reconnoitered the area. *How could I have been tricked again?* he thought to himself as he pondered the unusual trap. His last maneuver was completed with all the grace and style of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. "What am I? Freakin' Wiley Coyote?!" he grumbled as he laughed at himself.
Realizing nobody was around, he relaxed a little and took another look at the trap. It was definitely a Storm creation – there were only 2 people at the mansion that could have created ice so cold and transparent that the leaves and dirt couldn't have stuck to it: Storm and Bobby. Although Bobby was a prankster, he knew not to mess with Logan. A misguided prank a few days back in which Hank was the intended target ended with Logan being the innocent bystander and Drake barely escaping being sliced into party ice. He was still pretty high on Logan's hit list and opted to stay out of sight for a few…months. That left Storm as the creator of this trap.
He walked over to her – or rather, what he thought was her and looked down. What he thought was her was really a well-made scarecrow with the jacket and pants she wore from the previous day. What caused the movements? A piece of fishing line attached to the trees swaying in the breeze. With Storm's control over the wind, she could have made that scarecrow dance – either way, it was good enough to fool him. That was the second time he underestimated her; and it reminded him that he was dealing with a genius – someone who's IQ almost matched Xavier's. Not only was he dealing with a tactical master; HE trained her. Although she was a master at small-arms fire before they met, he taught her all his tracking and fighting skills - and was starting to regret it.
Located next to the well-made doppelganger was a box – a present, nicely wrapped and addressed to him.
"What's this?! A complimentary door prize?!" he yelled as he bent over to pick the box up.
**POP POP POP** Three more paintballs to the ass.
"OWWW! Damn! When am I gonna learn?!"
"Thank you for providing such a fine target Logan! Not only is it nice to look at, it's also nice to shoot!" Storm yelled as she watched him rub the pain (and paint) out of his backside. "Awl, you got a little boo boo on your bum bum?" she taunted. "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"
He could hear her giggling – laughing at his bruised posterior as she made an effortless escape through the underbrush of the woods.
"I'll give ya somethin' ta kiss all right!" he yelled as he mooned her, not knowing where she was but still willing to give her an eye full. "Kiss this ya…"
**POP**
"YEOWW!!! SHIT!!! That hurt!" He said as he tumbled over, pulling his pants up and clumsily diving for cover. But could he blame her? If you give someone a target, they're going to shoot at it; and if they're as good as Storm, they're going to hit it. He laughed at himself for providing her with such an inviting target – and at her for having the gumption to take the shot.
Convinced she was finally gone, he opened the box she left for him and found a very nice Akubra outdoor hat. He was very familiar with the brand – having bought it before. The style and fit was perfect like no other cover and he relished in the thought of wearing it. Underneath it laid 2 bottles of Molson and a note.
After all that, you deserve a beer
Something to quench your thirst and raise your spirits dear
The sparkle in your eye, the quest to find your prey
Are you having fun? And are you going to make me pay
He downed the two beers quickly and put the hat back in the box. It was much too nice to wear while tromping around in the woods getting shot up by paintballs. Armed with his Leatherman, wit, and a renewed enthusiasm for the hunt, he started once again – this time with caution on his side and a much-heightened respect for his hunter/prey. With vigilant patience he silently and masterfully crept through the woods. He quickly found the location of her last sniper attack. It wasn't very hard; the spot was covered with the scent of her perfume – Elizabeth Arden 5th Avenue. *That'll be her downfall* he said to himself as he became familiar with the new scent. *There's no way I'll confuse this with something else she wore.*
He silently crept further into the woods, looking for the slightest movement or downdraft that might give away her position. With panther like precision, he slowly followed her trail.
*Where is he?* she thought to herself. *He should've been here by now.* From her perch high in the tree she could see a good amount of the forest ground – perfect for her next trap; now all she needed was him – the intended target. She knew she wouldn't be able to trick him much longer and was actually surprised she had gotten this far. Had he really been after her, her traps wouldn't have held him very long; but then there wouldn't have been much fun in that. After all the things he did for her on Valentine's Day, she had to think of a way to thank him. She knew how much effort he put into her adventure, and it went off absolutely perfectly. It was now her turn to return the favor and give him a Valentine's Day adventure HE would never forget – an adventure Wolverine style. So far it had worked – he was loving ever minute of it and she knew it – right down to her accurately placed paintballs. It may have been a pain in the ass for him, but at least he knew what was on her mind. As for the hunt; to him, anything using his animal senses was an aphrodisiac and naturally had to be included if she was going to give him a day to remember.
She sat in her tree anxiously waiting for him; quietly and patiently looking - knowing that any movement she made could give away her position.
As he crawled through the forest, he drew ever so closely to her – the 5th scent avenue growing stronger within him. He spotted a clearing up ahead – one that Storm's scent seemed to pass right through. *Obviously a trap* he thought to himself *not fallin' fer that!* he said as he slowly encircled the clearing, hoping to pick her scent up on the other side. Just as he expected, he picked it up leaving the clearing at about a 45 degree angle – a good ploy of misdirection, but not good enough. Hot on her trail, he again masterfully followed the scent.
*It's gettin' stronger, she's gotta be close.* he thought as he stalked through a thick layer of trees in his cat like prowl.
*Sumpn's wrong though, her scent's too strong – like she's all around me. What could be causin' that? Unless…!* he looked up just as the net fell from the trees and trapped him underneath it.
"Not again!" he yelled as he stood up with the net hanging over his head like a ghost costume. "Go ahead, take your shots – I deserve it!"
**POP POP POP**
"You know Logan, I'm really glad you have such a great healing factor. I'd hate to think I was damaging that cute ass of yours." she said as she rappelled down a nearby tree and walked up to him, revealing herself for the first time. There she stood draped from head to toe in assassin's gear – from her BDU's*** and combat boots to her black and green painted face and Recon hat. She even dawned a few twigs to give her a more camouflaged look.
"Get a load a' you Darlin'…all dressed up like a little soldier girl."
"The last time I checked, it was "Little Soldier Girl" – 3, Logan – 0." she said as she kissed him through the net.
"That was damn smart – confusin' me by sprayin' yer perfume everywhere."
"I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Hey - I left a little something for you over by the tree." She said, pointing to another gift. "Catch me if you can Love." she taunted as she trotted off – thankful that he hadn't tried to escape from the net before she got a good head start.
After she disappeared, he popped his claws out and sliced through the net. He then located the box she left for him – a rather large clothing box bearing the Macy's insignia. Inside lay 2 matching leather "Bomber" jackets – one for him and one for her. The letters R & L were subtly embroidered into them in black stitching.
"These are some mighty nice skins ya got here Ro!" he yelled as he examined his jacket. "Can't wait ta give 'em a try!"
The complimentary note was hidden in the pocket of the second jacket. As he pulled it out and read it, he started laughing.
"Not feeling very confident anymore eh Ro?! Hiding the note in YOUR jacket pocket so you can pull it out later – whatsa matter? Thought I woulda caught ya by now? Well don't you worry Darlin' – I'll catch ya soon enough!"
He read the note:
Jeans and a jacket – a very nice suit
Something to wear when we're on your scoot
You still haven't caught me? What's the matter Love?
Surprised I could strike with a net from above?
He put the jackets back in the box and started hot on her trail again. He knew she was headed for the lake; the path she took from him headed right to it, and he would have picked up her scent if she circled back in the other direction. As he neared the lake, he stopped.
*Wait a minute* he thought to himself. *The reason she's been so good at poppin' me in the ass is because I've been behavin' like myself. She's the best there is at analyzing behavior. I gotta do somethin' she wouldn't expect. Hmmm.* he said, scratching his chin and wondering what to do next.
*Got it!* he thought to himself as he popped his claws out and started climbing the nearest tree. He was a good 75 feet up before he started hopping from tree to tree. From where he was, he could see nearly everything. As he made his way to the edge of the lake, he closely studied it.
*Where is she? Her trail lead right to the lake. She's gotta be around here somewhere.*
The lake wasn't as serene as he expected it to be; the light breeze caused rhythmic ripples in it as soft waves made their way to the shore. *Hmmm* he thought. *The wind has picked up – probably Storm tryin' ta trick me. She must be up ta something, but what? She's gotta be somehow hiding in the lake – behind the ripples. Clever girl.*
He scanned the lake tediously, looking for anything that could hide the beautiful assassin. There were several branches floating around – strategically placed no doubt to confuse him – all of them were large enough to hide her. *Which one is she hidin' behind? Probably the least likely one – which means none of 'em. She's too smart for that. So where could she be hiding?*
He scanned the lake again looking for anything that might give him a clue to her location. That's when he spotted something out of the ordinary – something that looked a lot like a wave but was solid. It was a piece of plastic with a slight elliptical shape and a color that matched the water perfectly. Had it been anyone else, they would have missed it – indeed, he almost missed it himself. He probably would have swam out under one of the branches he thought she was hiding behind and gotten nailed by her in her fake wave. *So that's where she's hidin' huh? Must have SCUBA gear or sumpn, - damn good hidin' place! Now how am I gonna get out there without raisin' suspicion?*
As he pondered his plan of attack, he thought about the different angles he could vector in on her, then he realized – hiding inside the lake wouldn't have given her the shot she wanted. It would however have been the perfect trap had he actually swam out to investigate. Once in the water, all she had to do was wait until he swam back, no matter where he went he would have been trapped.
*Very clever – but not clever enough.* he thought to himself. *Let's see, she had about 10 minutes on me when I got outta that last trap, and I know she headed for the lake cuz her trail leads right up to it. She had ta go in or I woulda picked up her scent on the shore. If she ain't in the lake, then she had ta come out somewhere – but where? She woulda needed a couple minutes ta get in place, which if she swam, woulda put her at most 100 to 150 feet away – give or take a couple feet…Probably 150 knowing her, she's pretty good at swimming. Which direction would she have gone? If she went east, she woulda headed back toward the mansion and I woulda picked up her scent. She ain't that careless so she musta gone west.*
He scaled the tree a little higher and tracked westward. When he had gone about 150 feet, he stopped and started scanning the shoreline. Sure enough, he saw a trail leading out of the water about 30 feet from his location. *Gotta give her props fer that – swimmin' damn near 200 feet in that short o' time – definitely a fast mover. Let's see – where would a sniper hang out if they wanted ta get off a couple a' good shots?*
*Whereis he now? I should've seen something! I thought he would've been in the water swimming after one of the decoys by now. He couldn't have given up could he? No, he wouldn't do that – he's out there somewhere. I just have to wait for him.* Her heart was pounding. She toyed with him all afternoon, but if she could get him in this last trap, she could truly claim King of the Jungle – or in her case, Queen…either way, she would have beat him at his own game. She sat there motionless, looking for any signs of him – any movement at all.
*What is that by the tree-line over there?* she asked as she peered through the scope of her paint gun. *Range - 100 feet, it looks like a piece of cloth. It is the same color as his shirt, it has to be him.*
"Damn! He did not go for my trap. That is okay, I can still hit him from here, and if I do…I win! Range – 100 feet, height – 3 feet, crosswind…zero (after a slight pause to stop the breeze), a 10 degree angle of arch should hit him perfectly; now if he would just move away from that bush long enough for me to nail him in the ass, I can…"
"Lookin' for me Darlin'?" he asked as a shirtless Logan dropped down right in front of her and grabbed the barrel of her gun, taking it away from her.
"ACK!!" she yelled as she jumped back. The shocked expression on her face was exactly what he expected. "But how…?"
"That look on yer face is a Kodak moment if I ever saw one Ro. If I had a camera, I'd take a few shots. But seein' as how I don't, this here PAINT GUN will have ta do the trick.
"You would NOT!" she yelled as she turned and started running through the woods. "You're much too nice of a…"
**POP POP POP**
"YOW!" she yelled as she tried to distance herself from him, knowing the attempt was futile. Inside two minutes, her posterior was completely covered with yellow paint. With his extensive military history, he was an even better marksman than her and he proved it with every shot effortlessly hitting the mark – her ass.
The chase ended back at the lakeshore with both of the participants sat and admired each other for their accomplishments.
"Thanks a lot Ro – I couldn't think of a better way to spend the day."
"You are very welcome Logan – after what you did last night, it was my pleasure. I wanted to thank you and this seemed like the most fun. By the way, here's your last present."
She reached inside her jacket pocket, pulled out a small silk bag and handed it to him. He winked at her as he opened the bag and pulled out a very nice brushed silver chronograph watch with gold trim, made by Seiko.
"My God Ro, this is really nice – it musta set ya back a real pretty penny!"
"Like I said, my man is worth it. Read the back."
"'To Logan, my true love – Ro' I…I don't know what ta say."
"Just tell me you love me."
"Darlin', nobody has EVER made me feel the way you do. Tellin' ya that I love you just ain't enough. You're my whole world – my universe. Jerry Maguire may be "complete," but you've helped me become an entirely new person; a better person – A BETTER MAN. I love you Ro, more than I'll ever be able say or show. I love you."
"And I, you Logan."
He kissed her then gave her a huge hug – one that only he could give; one that made her feel loved, safe, and desired…all rolled together.
"Yuck!" she said with a laugh.
"Yuck?"
"You're all sweaty!"
"What'd ya expect, I been chasin' ya through the woods fer damn near 3 hours! What say we head back to the mansion and give each other a scrub down?"
"I have a better idea…"
"Whuzzat?"
"Well, the lake is right here…nobody else is around…why don't we give each other a "scrub down" here?" she said as she started unbuttoning her BDU's and walking toward the lake.
"A woman after my own heart" he said as he quickly followed.
***The End***