Perpetual
Oneshot
By: Rai-Child
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters.
Summary: We're both blind, and if I'm cured of that blindness any time soon, then I'm just as damned as Vexen… AkuRoku. Oneshot.
Author's Notes: Just a short ficlet… Written for Stevie, though it's probably not what you hoped for, Onii-chan. 0.o;
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And all of a sudden, the only thought that properly registered was how hot it was.
Humid. As if steam could rise off the ocean, thickening the air and smothering us all.
Axel.
I knew he would come here, of all places. He's taken to avoiding Twilight Town like the plague, and he always comes to this same spot to sit and mull over his sins. Hollow Bastion is always quiet at this time of night- when the people lock themselves away in their homes; holed up in places not even the Heartless can reach them. Normally it's chaos, an unrelenting sea of black limbs and shadow, but for now, it is deathly silent.
He hadn't moved for the five minutes I had been standing here, simply watching from a distance. I knew even before I reached him that he'd done something else to be sorry for, to sit and turn over in his head until the next time he feels the need to make his private judgement over what's right and what's wrong.
Axel. Everyone always said he was strange, going off on his own, killing left, right and centre for no apparent reason. I know better. He's a god in comparison to the rest of us. His gaze is Judgement Day itself. Eventually, you'll either belong to him, or Hades. So far, I've been the only one he's 'saved'.
He's taken so many lives, and only judged mine to be good enough to keep. It's worth that much to him.
I took the few steps from mouth of the cavern to the open space in which he sat, just staring silently over the wide expanse of nothing that lay before us. I came to a stop right behind him, still saying nothing. He knew it was me- the faint, spiky shadow that the moon cast over his body was proof enough.
As usual, I was the first to speak. It's always the same.
"Who was it this time?"
"Vexen." I should have blinked, been taken aback, but no. I barely missed a beat.
"One of our own."
"I know." I reached forwards, running my fingers lightly through the blood-encrusted, red strands. He'd had his superior pinned, and the older man had fought back. There was a deep gash cut into his temple, dribbling crimson down his face. He hadn't even bothered to dress the wound.
"You came straight here?"
"Yes."
"I thought you might." Not much is ever said at times like these. Brief, clipped sentences, no need to elaborate. Much more is understood through the lack of words, the way he sits rigidly with all the tension of someone about to receive the death penalty. It's because of this that, when he did find it in himself to open his mouth, what he relayed back to me was so shocking...
"I had him cornered. Scratched me, all down my back." He had never done this before. Never. Always spared me from the harsh reality. "It was like trying to put some animal out of its misery." He muttered some harsh curse word at Vexen's expense, motioning briefly for me to sit. I didn't take it up, preferring to simply stand and think.
"You're a mess."
"I know. It's never normally this bad."
"It's because he was a Nobody. Part of the Organization. A-"
"Comrade?"
"Yeah, a comrade. Does that mean nothing to you?"
"I've heard it all before. He got in my way- so he had to go."
It was hard to breathe. I tried to fool myself into thinking it was the heat, but inside I immediately knew better.
Sometimes, I wonder whether he's really sorry. Whether he ever really acknowledges that what he's doing is wrong. Axel's smart. Not academically smart, but bright. Intelligent. It's most likely that it's not that he can't see what he's doing, it's just that he simply won't. Refuses to.
Maybe it was just what he needed. A wake-up call.
He was bleeding from somewhere under the heavy trenchcoat that comes with the Organization XIII territory. The same scarlet that tainted his face pooled a little in his lap. Naturally, I just had to ask...
"Are you okay?" He thought about it for a moment, before giving his verdict. I found myself holding my breath for some unknown reason.
"Yes. Of course I am." The sad thing is, he sounded so sure. There was no wavering uncertainty in his voice; something best kept for the weak. I knew that when he said he was okay, that meant he was okay.
If I had a heart to break...
"Roxas?" I snapped to attention, only to find a hand closing around my wrist, pulling me down to his level. "Sit with me?" And so I did, adopting a similar, cross-legged pose, joining him in his observation of the bleak horizon.
He shouldn't be okay. He shouldn't think everything was all fine when it obviously wasn't.
"Why are you worrying?" Again, it was that same voice that drew me from my thoughts.
"I'm not."
"Yes you are." He sighed. "So don't. I've told you before- you're the only thing that matters. The only thing that ever will matter, at that."
It's by no means the most important bond we share, but there is always that certain sense of safety when everything else starts to crumble. No matter how many people are sacrificed to fuel his need for judgement, enemies or otherwise, I know that those killing hands will never turn on me.
If you know that something's wrong, but you don't stop it...
Does loving Axel make me a sinner?
Everything's the same in his eyes. He can't see past me and him. What we have. We're both blind, and if I'm cured of that blindness any time soon, then I'm just as damned as Vexen. I always overlook it. Always.
Nothing more was said. We simply sat until the sun cast its weak rays over the battlements, before melting back into the darkness of the place we call 'home'.
Because no matter how much the universe shifts around us, Axel will never change.
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0///o …Fin.
Ally