A/N: This is LongLongHair here, trying to
give Bookworms Anonymous a good, no, weird name. My friend and I were on a
boredom high in Home Group when we wrote this.
Citizens of the Earth, has your pencil
exhibited signs of disturbing behaviour recently? Does it have one or more of
the following symptoms?
Does it poke you whenever you pick up your pencil case?
Does it growl and drop shavings over your homework?
Do you ever find it on an open copy of "The Path to the Dark Side" by V. Mort and D. Sidious?
Does it always disappear when you most need it?
Do you ever wake to find it levitating you 3 metres off the ground and giggling?
When using it, do you ever compulsively say one of the following: "MWAHAHAHAHA", "You will die", or "Bic, 4 colour pen, I am your father"?
Does the lead always snap in the middle of a test or an exam?
Do you look like Hitler when you place it between your nose and your top lip?
Do you ever find yourself jabbing other people with you pencil?
Does it ever decide to draw weird; evil and disturbing pictures while you're away?
Do you find that after an absence from your room it has moved? (or gone altogether?)
Does your pencil always roll off your table?
Do you find yourself writing threats and/or blackmail notes with it?
Does it scribble all over your homework?
Do you find it disembowelling other pencils?
Does it punch holes in your paper when you're writing?
Do the pencil marks not rub off even when you've used hydrochloric acid and the paper has a hole burned in the middle?
Do you find that everything in your pencil case has grey dust on it?
If you answered "Yes" to any of the questions above, you may have a Pencilmort in your midsts!
This may be distressing and frustrating to some people(not to mention terrifying and mortifying) But there is hope-the Pencilmort Support Group! (PSG)
The PSG provides aid for the families and friends of those who fall victim to a Pencilmort reign of terror. We provide information and help on how to defeat Pencilmort and get him back to his pencilcase.
If you're a victim of Pencilmort, don't worry. Join the two people who claim to be victims of Pencilmort to help fight for a safer, happier Pencilmort-free world.
For information or to make a donation call: NI NI NI NI, cut down the tallest tree in the forest with a herring, get a left handed hammer and nail in some skyhooks, bark like a dog, spin in a circle, press hash three times and wait for the beep. It really won't help at all abut it will give us a lot of amusement.
We apologise for the previous paragraph. It appears that a Pencilmort has attacked!!! ::writer screams "Mummmeeeeee!!!!" and runs off::
A/N: Well, what did you think? Does it give BA a good or a bad name? Review and tell us. Please!
Oh, and here's a flame competition(at the biddance of my lovely friend)
1. Send a good review and then your entry flame, and make sure you tell us that it's your flame, and not someone else's. Don't review anonymously either, because then we can't email you your wonderful prize.
2. No incoherent, abusive or misspelled language-Australian English only.
3. The flame must be 50 words or more(And that doesn't include your nice review)
4. You must include the words inebriated and crapulent. If you don't know what these words mean, look them up in a dictionary because we want them in the right context.
Good luck with your flames! (Winner(s) gets a prize!)
We'll do a Cassandra Claire at the end of our next fic/chapter if we get more than 10 proper entries. J