Machinehead

Author's Note: I wrote this primarily in response to Nickelodean's episode of Metalhead. I'll admit, I was a fair bit infuriated with the entire episode from start to finish and I needed to vent my utter frustration.

I should point out I still place this story in my own TMNT universe, so it doesn't follow the Nick portrayal entirely. In the context of this fic the battle with Metalhead was much more severe with Mikey receiving the worst of it. The Kraang also took Metalhead at the end of the fight rather than the turtles. However, I am keeping them in line with Nick's younger portrayal as they are about 14 years old in this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT.

-oOo-

"Come on, Leo. Just one round."

"For the last time," Leonardo squirmed himself deeper into the cushions of the couch, remote in hand as he turned the volume on the screen up a few more decibels, "I'm sick of that stupid game."

Raphael smirked as he leaned over the back of the couch, prodding his older brother in the shoulder, "Only because you suck. I'll go easy on ya, I promise. You might even score a point this time."

"Go bug someone else Raph!"

With a final swatting away of the insistent turtle, Leo cupped his chin in his palms, eyes now in full focus on the screen despite his having no real idea as to what it was he was watching. He supposed Splinter might like someone to gossip about his soaps with though, and in any case, it was better than another earful of Raphael's constant gloating.

Raph gave a loud groan, turning and scanning around the lair before his gaze zoned in on his next victim.

"Hey Mikey, how's about a sparring match or two?"

Met with complete silence, Raph pulled away from the couch with an annoyed noise, stepping over to where the small turtle was curled up in a remarkable silence in a corner of the living room, face stuffed behind the glossy pages of a comic book. He frowned, gaze lingering for just a moment on the bandages still wrapped around his younger brother's leg before he quickly tore his gaze away.

"Mike, did you-"

"Shhhhhhhhhh!"

Raph stopped mid-step as the bright blue eyes of his youngest brother bore into him with an intensity that was only ever brought on by one thing.

"I've been begging April to get me this new edition for weeks, Raph!" Michelangelo huffed as he quickly buried his face behind the vibrant multi-colored pages once more, "I've been dying to find out what happens to Silver Sentry and the Green Mantle…or is it really the Green Mantle? Or could it be the evil doctor's clone…"

As Mikey's resolve fell into quiet muttering, Raphael rolled his eyes, "You can read that stupid thing anytime." he continued over to him anyway with no inclination of being shushed by a turtle reading about a flying man in silver spandex.

Sensing danger, Leo tore his eyes from the screen, "Leave him alone, Raph. Go work on your bike if you're so bored. You made Don help you find all those parts for it last month and I haven't seen you work on it since."

Raph scrunched his face into a scowl, though he found it useless to waste his time on any sort of a good retort as Leo had already returned his engrossed attention to the tragic love tale of Isabella and her masked lover on the television.

"Fine." He muttered as he headed toward the exit that would lead him up to the garage, but paused as he shot a second glance throughout the lair once more, "Hey, where is that machinehead anyway?"

Mikey popped up from behind his book, expression pulled into one of utter confusion, "Metalhead?"

A stricken silence passed through the room before Raph and Leo exchanged glances. No one had so much as mentioned the defunct creation of Donatello's which had nearly cost them their lives since it had been stolen by the enemy no less than a week before. The sound of its name still set forth an uncomfortable wave of chills over the three of them and Leonardo forced himself not to shiver as he shook the image of its piercing yellow eyes from his memory.

Raph's hands were quick to ball into fists as he shot Mikey a glare, his voice escalating to a growl, "I meant Donnie, doofus," he snapped, "that brainiac's been hiding all day."

"In his lab," Leo jerked his thumb in the general direction of the caution taped doors furthest from any common living space, "same place he's been all week."

Raph glanced over to the aforementioned door, his frown deepening as he stared at it, "He can't just hide in there forever."

"A week isn't forever," Leo shook his head and wondered if it was too late to take Raphael back up on his video game offer, "let him be, Raph. He'll come out when he's ready."

"Yeah right," Raph snorted as he began to stomp over to the door, "that's what you said when he burnt Master Splinter's tail with one of his rocket missiles, and we finally had to smoke him out with one of his own stink bombs."

"I still have one," Mikey perked up, "and now this time we'll remember to wear gas masks."

"We're not going to smoke him out," Leo frowned, forcing Mikey to hide behind his comic once again before looking back at Raphael, who now stood before their secretive younger brother's private workspace, "Master Splinter told us to leave him alone, Raph. I advise you to listen for once."

Raph huffed as Leo turned back toward the screen, hands crossed over his plastron in his final, definitive manner, and he could still feel the eyes of Mikey piercing into him from behind the pages of his book. He shook his head, turning back toward the door, but stopped when he heard a sudden clattering underfoot.

The splintered wood of about a foot and a half of Donatello's bo rolled away from him as he'd accidently kicked it. Raphael stared at it, its burnt edges leaving a faint trail of black soot on the floor. He hesitated for only a moment before he quickly reached down and snatched it up he, slipping it in his belt before stopping, now standing directly in front of the shut door of Don's lab.

For a moment, Raphael gave pause, and for once he wished Mikey would go back to his stupid comic and quit watching him. He jiggled the handle for a second, already knowing it would be locked, and he pressed on the top section of the door, wondering if Don had forgotten to lock it as he was sometimes apt to do. The door didn't budge.

"Hey Donnie!"

Raph slammed his fist against the door with enough force to snap Leo out of his seat.

"Raph! I told you not to-"

Both turtles stopped however as the door was abruptly snapped open, although the opening was no more than an inch wide, giving Raphael less than a sliver of his younger brother's face staring back at him.

"What?"

Donnie's voice was quiet, which wasn't all too unusual after a few sleepless nights for the rather private turtle. Yet the word shot out of his mouth was such intensity to force even Raphael for a closer look.

The inch of space was hardly sufficient for Raphael to get a proper view of Don, and he stepped in a bit closer in hopes of catching more than a mere glimpse of shadowy pale green and the hard glint of a single red eye staring back at him. He was surprised as the door didn't budge under his light prodding and his face furrowed, "Let's go, time to get outta there." Raph applied a bit more pressure to the door, his irritation rising as it continued to stay in place.

"Why?"

"Cause," thoroughly annoyed, Raphael shoved his shoulder against the door, only to realize Don must have set up blockade up earlier, as there was no way he'd be able to hold it against Raphael himself and it continued to remain firmly unmoved, "we need ya out here."

"Why?"

Raphael paused, unused to hearing such a question, at least coming from Donatello anyway. He was the one who always answered these kinds of questions, not asked them. Raph felt an uncomfortable prick when he realized Don was genuinely waiting for a response.

"Well…cause…"

Raph forgot about pushing against the door and a heavy silence bore down on the two brothers as they continued to stare at one another, each waiting for the other to speak first. Donatello snapped first.

"That's what I thought."

Raph jumped back as the door was all too suddenly slammed back shut, the screech of a heavy lock sliding into place causing him to twitch. He stood in silence, though it only lasted a second before he whipped around, scowling at the other two turtles who no longer pretended not to stare.

"Get off my shell."

Without further glance at either of them, Raphael stormed away from the door before disappearing out of the lair and toward the garage. Leo and Mikey said nothing after he'd left. Leo gave a sigh and returned his attention to the television, though Mikey continued to watch the locked door from behind his comics until retreating to his room for the night.

-oOo-

The pure darkness was a welcoming relief. Sometimes the constant glow and hum from his computer screens was a bit too much even for Donatello, and the utter, inky blackness of the living room lured him in with its comforting silence. As he at least peered out from the depths of his lab, easing out the door with careful precision, he was certain not to disturb the tranquility of the night as he crept further into the room.

A soft noise drifted through the air and he froze, his gaze snapping over his shoulder. A few moments passed before he shook his head, realizing it was only the quiet snores of Mikey drifting out from his bedroom, soon followed by the hushed murmur of Leo likewise muttering in his sleep.

Stepping further away from his lab, Don kept himself low, his gaze glued to the ground as he continued onward. His ruby eyes glowed in the darkness, flicking back and forth in rapid motion before he finally gave up with a sigh, standing just outside the closed door to Splinter's bedroom. There was no stirring from inside, but there never was anyway, and Don glanced back over his shoulder, scanning over the still contents of the room one final time.

He liked this time of night, its dark solitude wrapping around him like a blanket. It beckoned him and allowed him a type of freedom that never really seemed possible during the day, with no interruptions or questioning of what he wanted to do. This was how he liked it.

Don blinked when he realized he'd been staring at the entrance to the lair, as though he had been expecting someone to come waltzing through it at any moment. He scowled and tore his gaze away, refusing to spare it another glance. He pretended to ignore the loneliness that was beginning to creep in and weigh down on his consciousness, convinced he found his usual nighttime interruptions more troublesome than they were worth.

Muttering under his breathe he turned back toward the yawning darkness that led back into his lab, lit only by the faint glow of a single computer monitor and a Bunsen burner shoved in the back of the room. He stopped when he reached the doorway, and swallowed, suddenly overcome by a peculiar claustrophobia he was unaccustomed to. Shaking it off, he shut the door behind him, though he didn't lock it this time. He knew there wasn't any point and another heavy sigh escaped him as he moved toward his desk.

"Please get out."

"If ya didn't want me to come in, ya wouldn't have left the door open."

With a quiet groan Donnie slumped into his chair, shoving a stack of papers to the side where many fell to the floor in a haphazard pile. He crossed his arms atop the desk, avoiding his older brother's gaze as he turned his head toward the blue monitor. "I thought you were asleep."

Raphael snorted, "Yeah right."

"Raph," Don muttered as he now rested his head on his arms, "I'm serious. I'm not in the mood. What do you want?"

"Waddya mean, what do I want?" Raph snapped as he pulled away from where he'd been leaning against the wall, arms falling away from their crossed position over his plastron, "You're the one playing hermit all week and it's getting old. And don't give me that same crap you tried to pull earlier, it's just stupid for you to be in here so much."

A minute passed before Raphael realized he would receive no response and hands began to curl into fists at the growing silence. The older turtle's glare darkened, and though he paused for a short moment, he quickly found himself ignoring the wet shimmer that reflected on Donatello's eyes from the soft glow that turned his entire face a sickly shade of blue.

"Donnie, I said move your lazy shell."

"Yes, I know Raph." Don shut his eyes, his voice hushing as he pulled even further into himself, "Everything I do in here is stupid. I got that message, thanks."

Raph rolled his eyes as he suddenly reached over and yanked at the back of Don's chair with enough force to pull him away from the desk, "That's not what I said, you idiot."

"It's what you've always said!"

Donatello shot to his feet, though as he pulled himself to his toes, shoving his face into Raph's, he seemed to remember himself and he quickly pulled back. Shoulders hunched once more he cast his eyes to the side, though his body continued to tremble with the shaky gasps of an unfamiliar intensity of emotion and he tightly wrapped his arms around himself.

"And maybe you're right," Don continued on, voice still quiet though filled with a hateful bitterness as he cast his gaze around the various contraptions set about the room, "what's the point of all this garbage? It's not like any of it ever works the way it's supposed to."

"Hey," Raphael's frown deepend as he reached out and placed a palm on Don's shoulder, giving him a sharp shake of annoyance, "it was one stupid thing that didn't work. Big deal. I never liked Metalhead anyway."

Raphael didn't care to make it a habit of thinking too much before he spoke. When it had always come down to it, he figured he always spoke the truth and if someone wasn't ready to hear then that was their problem. Yet as the name of Don's creation left his mouth, he felt a sudden sting of apprehension as he watched his brother's face begin to shift at being forced to hear the name of the machine he had created, which in the end had nearly killed them all.

"Yeah, I got that." Don snapped as he shook Raph's hand from his shoulder, his voice suddenly rising as he took a step back, "Metalhead was a stupid idea; Metalhead was useless, just like everything else I try to do for us."

Raph's fists shook at his sides, through with being yelled at, "You were useless only because you weren't there fighting with us!" Raph suddenly jabbed a furious finger at the door, pointing back out of the room, "Ya left us, Donnie! When every single one of us needed ya most! Ya really think we wanted that stupid hunk of metal instead of you?"

"Instead of me doing what?" Donatello growled as he stepped back, snatching up an object from the ground before shoving it in Raphael's face, "Breaking this stupid thing five minutes into every battle? Relying on you guys to watch my shell for every little accident?"

Raph pulled himself back before suddenly realizing what it was Don was holding out to him. Don's knuckles were white as he gripped the second half of his broken bo before he threw it to the ground. The clattering as it hit the ground echoed in the cold room, the lonely, empty sound filling Raph's head.

He saw none of the pride that had once been etched onto Donatello's face the first time Master Splinter had placed the bo into his hands. He didn't know if Don even remembered his own excited, insistent chattering about the staff that had lasted weeks up until that moment, Don's tiny mind filled with the possibilities such a basic, yet versatile weapon had to offer. But Raphael sure did, as Don's utter enthusiasm had rivaled a level of obnoxiousness only Mikey was usually capable of, and if he concentrated, Raph could still hear the high pitched babbling of five year old Donatello explaining in utmost detail why he had, without a doubt, been gifted the most superior of weapons.

Now, as his brother stood before him, all but shivering with the rage his body was so unaccustomed to, Raphael felt the other half of Don's bo burning a hole in his side where he had earlier picked it up. He refused to pull it out.

Donatello didn't deserve it.

With a furious growl Raphael stormed over and snatched up the second broken piece, "You know what Donnie?" Raph snarled as he jammed the other half of the weapon into his belt, "Fine! Stay in here for all I care. Go back to playing with your toys and leave the real fightin' to us."

"You still don't get it! I can't do this anymore!"

Donatello slammed his palms on the desk, the force of the thud causing the shaky legs of it to tremble beneath him. He quickly pulled back in surprise though it made no difference as the monitor atop it gave a sudden lurch and smashed to floor with a thundering crash. Instantly Don's jaw dropped, frozen in place as he stared down in a numb silence at his own accidental destruction.

"Good job, genius!" Raph bent down and pulled the monitor back upright, only to throw it back down with a grunt of disgust as he looked down at the now fully cracked screen, "I'm not helping you replace this crap, what the hell is the matter with you?"

"It's all pointless…" Don muttered quietly as he continued to stare down at the broken flatscreen, almost avoiding Raphael's gaze, "just like Leo said, what's the point of any of this if we're ninjas?"

Raphael felt himself bristling, but before he had a chance to speak his eyes snapped open as Don took a small step forward and he watched as the other turtle pressed his foot atop the broken monitor, the screen shattering even more beneath his weight.

"Hey!" Raph leapt up as his hands hand shot out, clamping on the other's arms, as he gave him a furious shake, "Stop it you stupid moron! What do you think you're doing? "

Don wrenched himself free of Raphael's grasp, though the force of it caused him to stumble back a few paces and the back of his shell collided with a shelf behind him, though he paid it no attention as more objects came crashing down at his feet. He only just managed to dart out of the way Raphael gave a furious lung at him, his balance regained, a new look of determination setting on his face.

"I'm not going to put you guys into danger anymore."

Raph could hear the quiet tremble in Don's voice as he spoke, the struggle for composure his younger brother always fought to maintain beginning to slip away.

"Not with my useless inventions. Not with my incompetent fighting capabilities. I've had my time to think, to place where it all began. And you've just confirmed my hypothesis; I understand where it all went wrong."

"Donnie," Raph huffed, watching with calculated attention as Donatello began to edge back further from him, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Donatello's fingers wrapped around the doorknob, and he pressed his shell against the door, easing it open, "You don't have to worry about me screwing things up anymore. I won't let you guys down again."

"That's it," Raph growled as his hand shot out and he snatched up the other's wrist, ignoring the pained wince it induced, "I've had enough of this crap."

He moved to shove them the rest of the way out of the room, but stopped as Donnie gave a quiet sigh. His grip tightened though Raph shot him back another irritated glance, only to find that Don no longer looked at him. Instead, the young turtle's head was pulled down, staring at his toes as his voice softened another decibel.

"You know, I've always found a way to make things work. And I finally understand what it is that has caused such a irreparable damage to our team. And I'm going to fix it. For all of you."

Raphael twitched. He could feel his entire body pulsing, straining. But there it was. That flightiness in Don's eyes. It had always been there, an unspoken inconsistency in Donatello that had always threatened to emerge, an instability that lurked just below the surface in Don's gaze, that Raph would forever refuse to acknowledge. Donatello was not a deserter. He would not abandon them.

"I'm going to make things right for all of you. I'll keep you safe, no matter the cost."

The door slammed open and Raphael leapt forward, though Don had easily slipped out from beneath his fingers. Already Raph was far behind, watching as the swift form of his younger brother was already fading away from him.

"Donnie!"

Raph didn't care who heard him yelling or crashing out of the lair, the distance between himself and the other already tripled. Don had always been the swiftest of the four of them, and Raphael knew even at his own full speed, he had no real hope of catching the much slighter, nimbler ninja.

As he watched Don slip out through the manhole up above, the sickening reality that he was not going to stop gave Raph a powerful, aching wrench in the gut. As he burst out from the sewers himself, the sewer lid clattered as he flung it away and leapt out, eyes wild as he cast his gaze about the shadowed alley.

"Donatello!"

The sound of his own voice was caught in the air and vanished seconds after the name left his mouth, vanished from existence just as abruptly as Don had. Raph whipped around, heart pounding, yet he found not so much as a footprint to indicate where the other might have gone.

"Donnie!" he shouted once more, caring little who may have heard him. He wasted less than a second standing in place before choosing a direction, any direction, and sprinting off into the night in search of his brother.

-oOo-

Leonardo caught himself mid-yawn as he stepped out into the living room, his step pausing as his bleary morning eyes landed on the form of two of his younger brothers seated in the living room. Rubbing his face, he continued forward, trying to remember what day it was. Saturday. That explained Mikey, though as Leo stepped over to them, he noticed the distinct lack of weekend morning cartoons blaring on the television.

His eyes drifted over to Raphael. That was more of a mystery. He tried to remember the last time he'd seen Raph awake before noon, and his forehead creased as he reached the couch. Only then did his gaze return to Michelangelo, and Leo's eyes snapped open as he at last noticed the sheen of wetness that coated his little brothers' face.

"Mikey?"

The young turtle didn't respond, only curled up his legs close to him and squeezed his eyes shut. Leo's attention shot back to Raph, who had not moved from where he sat on the couch, bent over, hands clenched into fists, staring at the floor.

"Raph. What's going on? Where's Master Splinter?"

As he received no response, Leo's head snapped up in the direction of Splinter's closed door as he took a step toward it. He stopped as Mikey's voice, stuffy and timid, spoke out.

"It's Donnie. He..."

Leo felt like he'd been struck and he froze in place. For a moment he couldn't breathe before he slowly exhaled and turned back around, "What?"

Mikey was staring at him, his bright blue eyes glistening as he no longer bothered to wipe away the dampness from his face. But he said nothing more as he could only manage a choked whimper in response.

Leo said nothing. He tried to swallow and realized he couldn't. He moved to take a step forward, fumbling before his hand shot out and he grasped the back of the couch as the ground threatened to lurch beneath his feet. He exhaled, the motion painful in his chest and he paused and clenched his eyes shut.

"What...what happened?"

The words sounded far away, the voice not his own. When he forced his eyes to reopen he expected to see three brother sitting before him, searching for one more when only two entered his vision instead. His eyes fell on Raphael and it now dawned on him how filthy Raph was, covered in a sticky film of dried sweat and dirt, new scratches hatching his hands, shins and feet.

Leo stepped with care in front of him, standing between his two brothers though his gaze remained on Raphael. The words painfully scratched in his throat as he forced them out.

"Raph, where's Don?"

Only now did Raph lift his head, the effort alone causing his temples to pound as he met Leo's eyes. He said nothing as the fingers on his right hand began to uncurl, the movement catching Leonardo's attention. The dull purple strip of cloth fell from his palm, though he refused to drop it to the floor, clutching it tight enough to squeeze out a final few droplets of crimson liquid, splattering to the ground.

"Donatello's gone."