• Harry Potter – Next Generation One-shot •

- Forgiveness -

"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."

- Steven Maraboli

Forgiveness is never an easy feat. Especially when we're hurt and have had time to think, to boil our thoughts, our memories in our heads, to deepen that hurt. In that specific situation, we find a crossroad and must make a decision.

We can either choose to let go of the hurt and pain, even if we don't forget what made us feel them in the first place, and be free to move on;

Or we can choose to stay wearing our souls by tying ourselves to memories that will not make us go back in time and learn the lesson without having to go through it.

Because that's the truth of it all: we cannot keep clinging to the past and expect to move towards the future.

Most people choose the second option unconsciously, convinced that they're going the other way simply by repeating countless times over: «I have to forget this ever happened so I can move on.» But in reality, forgive and forget are not, nor could ever be, synonymous. Just as we learn from our mistakes, we also learn from those of others. And if we forget that we commit them, we erase the tool that allows us to correct our behaviour and become better people.

That is why only a few are able to achieve true forgiveness.

And that's exactly what Rose intended to do: mend her mistakes and earn what she thought was lost.

It was an oddly gloomy night in London. To her, the downpour matched perfectly with her mood. The red-haired girl stood drenched and cold at the side of the street, trying to find the nearly lost courage to face her past.

She hesitated in ringing the doorbell of one of the flats that composed the long and deserted street, but a sudden and sharp intake of breath gave her the push she needed.

"Rose?" A bewildered man showed up at the door after a few minutes.

"Hi," the woman replied quietly.

"Wha – What are you doing here?"

He approached her with great uncertainty, she noted ruefully.

"I need to talk to you. May I come in?"

The question took him by surprise. He had stopped longing for her to show up in his life again.

"Excuse me? After seven years, you want to talk now?" Scorpius' eyes widened in confusion and bitterness.

The hurt expression in his face made her sigh.

"Please Scorpius, just listen to what I have to say. If, in the end, you want me to leave, I will." Rose said with a hint of desperation.

He opened the door wider, mentally hoping that letting her in was the best decision. She let out a relieved breath, waiting for him to lead the way and marvelled at the spacious and luxurious, yet warm and welcoming flat. Only Scorpius would be able to accomplish such graceful combination, she thought with a small smile. It brought so many memories of great and less complicated times and it made her tremble with sorrow and guilt.

On the way to the living room, the blond man fetched a warm towel and gave it to her.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, quickly muttering a drying spell and wrapping the towel around her shoulders for warmth.

When Rose sat in the white armchair at the left side of the large sofa, he chose to sit in the one in front of her, separated by a small mahogany coffee table, in order to take a good look at her while maintaining some space between them. After all, they haven't seen each other in years and even if it pained him to admit, his curiosity was peaked.

He noted that time has been very generous to Rose. Her hair was longer, darker, but still as wavy and resplendent as he remembered. Her light-blue eyes, the same ones he once knew to their depths, shone with a disguised emotion he could not decode and her pouty lips, a lovely shade of crimson, contrasted with her uncommonly pale face. She looked so familiar, so untouched, yet so different at the same time that it made his heart ache.

The same kind of ache that had embraced him when she'd said that she wanted to end their relationship the day they came back from Hogwarts, claiming that she wanted to "find herself". And he understood that. They had just finished school, ending a chapter and entering a new and unknown one. That notion could be very overwhelming, he knew. He was perfectly conscious of that because he'd experienced it and didn't want to suffocate her, so he waited.

He passed the last seven years of his existence craving her presence, her being – body, mind and soul – all because, in his surroundings, there was always something that reminded him of Rose. But the only news he got from her were delivered by her cousin and his good friend Al, against his specific request not to tell him anything. He didn't want to know, he said. A blatant lie, and they both knew it. Almost a decade later, she finally turns up at his doorstep. Why? What had changed? With that thought resounding in his head, he realized that she had yet to do what she'd promised and took a deep breath.

"Well? You said that you wanted to talk, so talk. I'm listening." Scorpius spoke with his unreadable facial expression, the one that she once upon a time knew its meaning, though now it was clear that that ability had eventually got lost on the way.

That discovery shocked her. It was evident that he was hurt, with good reason she knew, but Rose hadn't expected it to be so carved into his soul. This only contributed to deepen her guilt, one that she'd tried to hide from herself for many years but came crashing down as her mother came to visit her in Vienna, just a few days before. She remembered being dumbfounded as Hermione turned the conversation around to Scorpius; even more when her mother told her that she's seen her daughter run from her problems for far too long. It wasn't fair for him. After all, that chapter from their lives hadn't been closed. Looking at him now, Rose realized that she will have to live every day knowing that (and it was the main reason for the despair she felt), because of what she had done, the man she'd loved all her life had suffered and that hurt had moulded him into someone he hadn't been before. However, a part of her couldn't help but wonder if it would ever be possible to pick up where they'd left off. She knew she didn't deserve it, not even his forgiveness, but humans are selfish beings... so with a deep breath, she spoke:

"I was scared of how serious our relationship had become. I mean, I know we were friends before but it was different..." She shook her head trying to figure out the right words. "Previously, I had set goals in my life that I'd intended to achieve. Then, the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that you were changing my views of everything around me and I panicked! I had my life planned out – and you know how much I liked to plan things in advance – when suddenly you become something much more important than a friend and I just didn't know what to do. But the scariest thing wasn't that I felt as if I was losing control over the life that I'd planed or not knowing what to do, it was how much I started craving a life full of surprises, of unexpectedness and spontaneity. I just didn't know how to cope with that."

There was a moment of pause as the blond tried to understand everything he heard.

"It still doesn't justify you ending what we had." He replied, clearly hurt and upset, and stood up. "You should have told me how you felt. I would have understood! And I did, I still do. I've waited seven years for you, Rose! I thought you trusted me!"

Scorpius turned around, heading towards the big window that gave a very nice view of the city. The witch stood up, following his path.

"And I did, I still do! Ever since I left you in that park after we came back from Hogwarts that I've tried to figure out why I did what I did, but I haven't come up with an reasonable answer, besides being a coward!"

Now I know why I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor..., she thought.

"You know, if there's a thing I've learned in these past years is that wanting and needing are very different concepts." Scorpius looked up at her as she watched all the lights outside dance in the pouring rain. Her eyes were a lot clearer than they had been moments before, almost as if talking and explaining what had happened and what she felt was cleansing her soul, ridding her of all the dark. "I've done almost everything I've wanted to do in my life and yet I was never truly happy. There was a constant hole in my heart that didn't seem to disappear. Do you know why?" She turned to him, holding his gaze with tears in her eyes, effectively catching his breath.

"Why?" His voice was raw with emotion.

Rose gave him a watery smile, coming closer and whispering softly. "Because I may have had what I wanted, but it was never what I needed."

That answer, those six last words stroke something deep inside him. Like a click, a simple sign that not everything was lost. There was still hope. There was still a chance to make things right in the end.

Seeing something unknown flash in his eyes, she bowed her head, turning to her side and continued her explanation "Seven years ago, I foolishly believed that ''freeing'' us from each other was the best choice. Hell, I would still believe in that if I didn't have this permanent feeling of slowly fading away... Right now, I know that I was only deluding myself because what I needed had been in front of me the whole time. Only I'd been too stubborn and proud to acknowledge that."

Scorpius was in battle with himself. He despised that, even after all those years, she could still inspire hope in him. It was frustrating, tiresome and consuming that Rose Weasley continued to haunt him and make him yearn for her even more in her presence. That's what made him break in the first place and had him vow a long time ago not to be fooled again. He may have sounded weak, but he wasn't so sure that he would "survive" a next round. The wounds were still too deep.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed. He didn't know what or why, but it must have been very serious for her to come back after all that time. Though he knew one thing: they had unfinished business and weren't going to live happily again, with or without each other, until it was all solved. If they let the situation the way it was, it would escalate and damage them even more, so he held onto the last fragment of hope he had and prayed it would work.

"Judging by your voice, I sense there's a «But not anymore» between the lines?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She smiled slightly and nodded, her gaze still focused ahead on the blurry horizon and her mind swimming through the sea of memories from the last eight years of her life. "Definitely not anymore."

He let out a breathy laugh and they stayed in that position for a few moments, both submerged in flashbacks and thoughts. Then suddenly, something clicked in the depts of his mind.

"We'll find it..."

"What?" Rose was very confused by the abrupt change in the atmosphere.

"... together." he smiled, leaving her even more puzzled.

"I – I don't understand..."

"The reason why you panicked and left. You said you couldn't figure out why you did it."

"Oh." she gulped, processing what she just heard. "Wait. Does this mean what I think it does? You forgive me after everything I've done?" The question gained a hint of hope and surprise as the blond smiled.

He cupped her face, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "Rose, after all these years you finally turn up at my doorstep. Granted, it took you long enough, but I'm not letting you go now. We already wasted too much time running from each other... And yes, you hurt me deeply and no, I haven't forgave you yet, but I will. Because, if there's one thing I know is that I could be happy with you again and if there is one person that I've always wanted to forgive was you. I never stopped loving you or thinking about you... How could I? When you left, a part of me went with you. Maybe that's the reason why I never wanted to accept that you were no longer with me, because I knew, I hoped deep inside that you would return it to me. And, in the end, you did. That's all that matters. "

She cupped his face, returning the loving gesture with tears streaming down her face. "Oh Scorpius, I don't deserve you. I really don't... you're much too good for me." she leaned in, resting her forehead against his. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, I really am," she finished, crying for every bad decision she'd made in her life, especially the ones regarding the wonderful man in front of her.

"Shhh. You're perfect for me. Also, I know you regret it but don't worry. You'll have the rest of our lives to correct that." He kissed her forehead and drew back. "But if you ever leave me again for a stupid reason like that, I'll hex you," he teased trying to make her laugh and succeeding. Her laugh was so beautiful, so familiar...

"Oh, trust me. If I ever leave you again, I'll hex myself first." She smiled, diving in the pool of his eyes.

There it is, he thought, the light I've always loved. It was true, for both of them in fact, that light had returned to their lives, slowly healing the wounds, restoring their souls, erasing the dark shadows that called, but most importantly, warming and filling their hearts.

Their lips clashed together, merging both souls in a breathtakingly powerful kiss. It felt like coming home, the raw passion and need for each other clearly present.

From that moment forward, their lives and their hearts were finally complete.

Forgiveness may not be the easiest choice, but living tormented by the shadows of the past should not be an option either, or we won't be able to live happy and truly again...

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

- Mahatma Gandhi

– Author's Note –

Hello everyone! I'm back (sort of).

Please give me some feedback, I would appreciate it very much.

I'm thinking of adding a series of flashbacks from their lives and relationship at Hogwarts that may be read separately if you want. If you are interested in reading them, please say something and I will post at least the first chapter.

Love,

Sofia.